I rose up on my elbows and looked down at my groin area. A terrycloth hand towel was draped demurely across my cock and balls. I sighed deeply and considered what had transpired over the last hour.
First, some background:
I had been a rudderless ship for almost three years. I was only fifty-five when my wife of twenty-seven years was killed by a drunk driver. I went through the usual stages of grief and returned to my job as a marketing executive for a medium-sized Chicago brewery after three weeks.
My job performance really didn’t suffer all that much. I didn’t self-medicate with my wife’s bottle of Xanax or the complimentary six-packs from work. On the other hand, I realized I was functioning on auto drive. It obviously helped that I had a more than capable staff.
Rumors began to circulate that we were a take-over candidate. These rumors crystallized into reality when “suits” began materializing at the brewery. We were a no-tie, rolled-up-sleeves kind of shop. They wore dark suits, rep ties, cap-toed oxfords, and chartreuse visitor hard hats,
I rapped my knuckles on the door jamb of my boss’ (the CMO) office. He kept his phone to his ear; but motioned me in, pointing to a desk-side leather chair.
David lowered the receiver to its cradle.
“Is it true?” I asked.
“Yep and it’s bad,” he answered.
“How bad?”
He rubbed his bald head. “Real bad, the evil empire from Belgium is buying us out. Speaking of out, we’re all canned.” He shuffled through a stack of sealed envelopes and handed me mine.
The near present:
I didn’t mope around after being let go. The very same day, I hired a headhunter to start an employment search. Surprisingly and despite being almost sixty, I received five employment offers. The good? I was flattered. All proffered jobs were at the VP or CMO level. The bad? Every single offer involved pulling up stakes and moving to LA or New York City.
It took me ten days and five bottles of California Cabernet to decide my future.
I decided I’d rather stick a fork in my eye, than leave Chicago. I just couldn’t see selling our house in Evanston; the house in which Mary and I had raised the kids.
I sat in the den, the room Mary called my man-cave, looking at the single banker’s box on the floor in front of me. This one box contained the entire contents of my old office at the brewery. I had been putting off opening it. I took a sip of wine. My plan was to sort things into three groups. Paper would be tossed into the fireplace, my keepsakes would be displayed on the bookshelves or tables and the rest would feed the dumpster. By the time I finished the first of my self-allotted two glasses of wine, I had kept only a single family picture. We were standing atop Vail mountain, smiling with ski poles held high overhead.
Then and there I decided I was officially retired.
My early day routine was pretty simple. Each morning I’d arise at around 6:30 am, rub my eyes and scratch my nuts. I’d don sweats and my favorite New Balances. After stretching and doing a hundred pushups and crunches each, I’d hit the sidewalk. My five-mile route took me past the university and its half-dozen coffee shops. My usual was Common Ground, a place where the baristas knew my name and drink.
I developed a few friendships, mainly fellow runners or university staff. We all had in common a need for early-morning caffeine.
Chad was working the head of the order line one morning. He was a good-looking twenty-something with a surfer vibe: blond mop, maybe 5’ 11” and 165#. He smiled, “The usual, Rick?” He grabbed a Sharpie and wrote on a large paper cup.
I nodded, paid, and thanked him.
I walked to the pickup counter and checked the orders visually (touching others’ cups bugs me). All were mediums or plastic. Meg walked up and handed me my latte. She grinned and handed me my beverage. “Something special today, Rick?”
“Nope, thanks.” I walked out the door and took a sip. That’s when I saw it. Chad had drawn a tiny heart over the “i” of Rick.
I felt a twitch in my cock and balls, but thought nothing of it. I knew I wasn’t gay, but I was flattered that a handsome young man was in some fashion interested.
The present:
Out of the blue, an old friend called. He asked whether I had any interest in a free charter flight down to and back from Albert Whitted Airport in St. Petersburg. He was taking his wife and kids on vacation for ten days and there was an open seat.
I thought, what the hell? My social calendar is open.
I booked a ten-day stay at the Turtle Beach Resort near Siesta Key, opting for a cottage with a boat dock. My final job was to find a boat. After a fifteen-minute Google search and a twenty-minute call, I was all set.
The Embraer Praetor would land at around 11:15 am. I’d grab my small backpack and walk over to The Teak for lunch. The boat was being dropped off next door at the yacht basin.
I reserved a Mako 114 CC, small enough that the liability insurance wasn’t a nonstarter (particularly since I had a recently renewed captain’s license); but big enough to handle the swell of Tampa Bay.
Thirteen days later, I was sitting in my personal jacuzzi, glass of Shiraz in hand.
I had turned up the heat of the jacuzzi to warp to try to alleviate an aching low back. Thinking I was thirty again, I’d stayed out on the water for almost six hours. The chop on the way back from Sarasota was a killer, also.
I eased out of the spa and toweled off. My intent was to ring the front desk of the resort and query as to whether there were massage therapists on site.
I was disappointed to hear the answer was “no”, but the staff suggested I talk with the concierge for perhaps alternative arrangements.
The concierge was both pleasant and efficient. She suggested the resort had a relationship with a nearby hotel. All I needed to do was pick a day and time. The therapist would show up at my cottage within a ten-minute window. The fee (other than tips) would go on my tab.
The therapist was scheduled to arrive around 8:30 pm, give or take. I had a half hour to blow. I rinsed off in the shower, sprayed on some Sure and donned my sweats. I poured a glass of Cab and settled into a wicker chair. I casually wondered whether my masseuse would be hot.
Almost on the dot, the doorbell chimed. When I opened the door, I was briefly set back. There standing before me was an athletic-looking young gentleman with his hand stuck out.
We exchanged pleasantries as he entered the cottage and proceeded to set up his table. His name was Dirk. I asked if he’d like a drink. He looked at my glass, suggesting “I’ll have what you’re having.”
“I’ve got to take a quick call. Why don’t you get comfortable? Let’s start with you face down.”
I figured when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I stripped down to my birthday suit, crawled onto the padded table, and positioned a towel across my butt.
Dirk made contact by lightly placing one hand on my back. He asked if I wanted to use the horseshoe face rest. I passed: claustrophobia. He asked if there were any areas on which he should focus. I suggested my low back and upper traps. I volunteered that I typically preferred a light to medium-pressure Swedish technique.