You wouldn’t think persuading college kids to have sex would be a challenge.  But sometimes things aren’t as simple as they appear.   

I’ve previously written about my college’s psychology program on human sexuality, which consists not just of book learning, but clinical exercises.  It was a transformative experience for me, and the pathway to guilt-free exploration of sexuality. 

It motivated me to enter the graduate program to train to be a sex therapist.  One of the requirements for aspiring therapists was to design a clinical study focusing on a sexual issue, and to recruit individuals for a week-long study.  We could offer cash payments of $500 to each participant.  But our professor had added a complication – he insisted that we had to recruit individuals who had never participated in one of the department’s prior sex studies – eliminating the repeaters, a cadre of horny individuals, usually guys, eager for some titillation. 

I teamed up with Dawn, another grad student and my girlfriend.  The first challenge was to find a topic worthy of study.  We considered the usual issues: frigidity, sexual dysfunction, gender confusion, fetishes, but these had already been done.  We couldn’t think of a new angle to explore. 

“It’s made even harder,” Dawn complained, “because the professor eliminated our usual pool of sex addicts.  We’ll be recruiting virgins.  What fun is that?”

“That’s an interesting thought,” I said.  “Virgins – that dwindling resource.  Maybe we can focus on their special needs.”

“Well,” said Dawn, “anybody still a virgin today after high school is either terribly shy, awkward around the opposite sex, or just plain terrified of sex.  So, maybe that’s our angle – how to make virgins comfortable enough to have sex – and not just with the ‘love of their life’ -- but for the unbridled joy of it.”

“But how would we do it?  How to undo sexual insecurity in a week?”

“That’s the challenge.  But it should be fun trying.”

So it was that we prepared a notice for the student newspaper.

“Wanted.  Subjects for a departmental study on human sexuality.  Volunteers must not be currently – or ever -- sexually active.  Must be willing to venture outside of their normal comfort level.  Cannot have participated previously in a study on sexuality.  $500 stipend.”

We didn’t overtly advertise for virgins (we were afraid they’d be embarrassed to identify themselves) but in the interview process, we weeded out anyone if they weren’t.  We ended up with four guys and four women, all heterosexuals.  Our eight had, at most, only dabbled gingerly with sexual foreplay, not resulting in intercourse.

Day One. ‘Getting to Know You.’               

“Welcome.  We’re delighted you’ve agreed to be part of our study on human sexuality.  I’m Kevin, and this is Dawn.  We’ll be doing some exercises with the goal of furthering your understanding of the opposite sex – and of sex itself.  All we ask is that you follow our lead - - and leave your preconceived notions, and inhibitions, aside.  You may be uncomfortable at first, maybe even embarrassed.  But when we’re done, I’m certain you’ll look back at this week as a positive experience.”

One of the students, Amy, spoke.  “How might we be embarrassed?” 

Amy was one of our first selections.  An only child, raised strictly, she had never had sex, and only dated a few times in high school.  It was our view that she was afraid of men.  She signed up for the $500. 

“It would be different for different people,” I answered, “but we’ll be discussing and viewing body parts and functions.  Not everyone is used to that.  But everyone is in the same boat here.  And all that happens in this study remains strictly confidential.”

For the first day, we just wanted the participants to become comfortable with each other.  (We’d get to the interesting stuff soon enough.)  We took the group to the sauna at the college fitness center, which we had arranged would be reserved just for us.  The students changed into bathing suits in separate locker rooms, and we met at the sauna.  Our purpose was to introduce them to each other’s bodies, in a non-threatening way.  We started with some “ice breaking” topics, having each talk about themselves. 

Everyone sweated and chatted amiably.  It was natural they’d begin to bond, all being students of similar ages.  A few of the men and women stretched out on the sauna benches.  Others remained upright (limiting the display of their bodies.)  We then had everyone shower together to cool off from the sauna.  Even though all kept their bathing suits on in the shower, the act felt forbidden; men and women don’t normally shower together.  And the water made their swimwear cling to their bodies.  Not overtly sexual, but raising the interest level.  We didn’t want to scare anyone off by going too fast.

Day Two. ‘The Anatomy of a Woman.’                

“Welcome back, everyone.  Our exercise today will essentially be a repeat of your high school sex education class.  Only instead of drawings, you’ll be studying a live body.” 

Eyebrows among the eight were raised, and there was some nervous laughter.  They had to have anticipated something like this, but now it was said explicitly.  And we knew from our interviews that most of the students had never seen the opposite sex fully nude before.   

“We’ll review a female body first.  Dawn and I will instruct you in the physiology of a woman and how she responds to sexual arousal.  We’d like a volunteer.  Who among the ladies would be willing to be our subject?”

As we anticipated, there was dead silence.  No woman moved a muscle. 

“OK, no one should do something they don’t want to.  Dawn will be the volunteer.”

The women exhaled.  All the men’s eyes moved to Dawn, measuring her breasts, her middle, her behind, anticipating what she’d look like naked.

Dawn came forward and stripped off her clothes.  Dawn is 5’4” with a nice figure, medium-sized, well-proportioned breasts with brown areola, and an adorable, tight, runner’s behind.  Her vulva is covered with soft, brown pubic hair, neatly trimmed.  We had a medical-style exam table positioned at the front, and Dawn, nude, climbed onto it, on her back.

All the students gathered around the table. 

I spoke: “I don’t have to identify what breasts are; they’re the most talked about and observed body part.  But I want you to feel their softness, and the ridges of the nipples.  Reach in one-by-one and touch Dawn.”

No woman moved.  Finally, one guy gingerly stroked the breast, and circled the nipple.  That broke the ice. 

Everyone, including the women, touched and massaged Dawn’s breast.  I had Dawn sit up, so the breasts protruded naturally from her chest, allowing the students to cup them and feel their weight and heft.  Most of the girls had never touched another woman, and the freedom to compare what they knew of their own body to another woman, was somewhat liberating. 

“Observe the nipples now,” I said.  “Later, if Dawn becomes aroused, you may see a change in them.  They’ll harden and protrude.  The other major sex organ is the vagina.  It’s also known as the birth canal as it leads to the uterus.  Note the outer lips, and the two lesser lips inside.”

I moved Dawn’s legs and spread the lips apart to illustrate.

“Of critical importance for our purposes is the clitoris, here, which is this small, very sensitive erectile organ at the top of the vulva.”

I was being clinical in how I discussed it, but this wasn’t sex ed.  Our purpose was to expose them to nudity, freeing them for what we had in store later.

“Very gently, you can circle the clitoris.  In a romantic situation, this will impart great pleasure to the female.  Try it.”

This was assuredly not a romantic situation, and neither I nor Dawn was certain how she was going to respond to multiple students touching her.  Gingerly, one fellow put his hand on her vulva, and rubbed it, rising to the clitoris.  He circled that organ, as the next student began his circuit around this most intimate part of a woman’s body.  Another was still rubbing on Dawn’s nipples.  I could see her breathing begin to quicken as she flushed from the pleasurable sensations.  We hadn’t been sure if this experiment would cause Dawn to become aroused, but the eroticism of having eight sets of eyes looking at her naked body, eight hands touching her, did the trick.  Dawn looked at me, signaling that she was becoming aroused. 

“For health reasons, we can’t have multiple fingers entering Dawn, but this is how one enters a female to find the G spot, a place on the wall of the vagina, a place of great sensitivity.” 

I placed my index finger on her entrance, and slowly pushed inside.  I found the sensitive spot within and pressed up, rubbing it.  I know her body, and know what she likes.  Dawn gasped and her body stiffened.  She looked at me again, slightly nodded ‘yes’, and I increased the pressure.  She groaned and her body shook as she enjoyed the sexual pressure.  I described to the group what was happening.  There was rapt attention, and a few of the boys had bulges in their pants.  The girls were as interested as the boys.

That was enough for one day.

“Tomorrow, we’ll examine a male and discuss arousal.  You all did great today, thank you.”

With that, they left.  Once we were alone, Dawn and I had sex.  For sure, I couldn’t leave her unsatisfied after that exhibition.  She needed it.  Half release, half celebration; everything was going as we planned.

 

Day Three. ‘The Anatomy of a Man’             

I asked the group for their thoughts about yesterday’s session.  No one volunteered (understandable shyness), so I called on one.  “David, tell me, what was your reaction to what we did yesterday?

He replied.  “I thought it was very educational.”

Not the answer I was looking for.

“Did it excite you?” I asked.

He hesitated, not knowing if it was appropriate to discuss something so revealing.  But I looked approvingly at him, and he spoke.

“Yes.  I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I’m not very experienced.  I had never seen a woman stretched out nude like that.  It was very exciting.”

His frank comment freed the others.

Paul:  “I’ve never been so turned on.  I loved it.”

Elaine:  “I was shocked when Dawn stripped, but then I was surprised how quickly I was okay with it.  She’s a beautiful woman.”

Carla:  “I’ve talked with friends about sex, but seeing Dawn’s excitement was powerful.  I wonder if I could be aroused like that.”

David: “I never thought I’d see something like that.  But it was beautiful.”

Discussing the event was an erotic experience for them. 

I spoke: “Great comments, everyone.  Thank you.  Well, today we’ll explore the male body.  Do we have a volunteer?”

Again, total silence.  I knew it was my turn.  They knew it too, and all eyes lowered to my trousers, with anticipation. 

I began to take off my clothes.  First the shoes and socks, then my shirt, and my trousers.  Now I was just wearing my briefs.  I pulled them off and stood there, my flaccid penis hanging down.  I climbed onto the examination table.

It was Dawn’s turn to lead the discussion.

She gathered the students around the table.  She gently raised the penis by the skin at the top. 

“Guys just have one sex organ, but it’s more than enough.  The testicles, here (she fingered them, moving the balls around) produce the sperm that will be discharged through the penis.  Some men have the tip of the penis covered by a large foreskin, but Kevin has been circumcised.  That’s a process whereby the foreskin is removed shortly after birth.  About 80% of American men are circumcised.”

She turned to the four male student volunteers.

“Do any of you still have your foreskin?”

There were nervous glances among the men, then one, Charles, raised his hand. 

“Why don’t you show the others what it looks like,” Dawn asked him.

Charles gulped.  All eyes turned to him.  So far, all nudity had been by Dawn and myself.  We were looking to break down inhibitions among the volunteers.  This was a planned question.

Slowly Charles undid the button on his trousers, and slid down the zipper.  With a slightly panicked look on his face, he slid his underwear down, exposing his penis.  Then, after a few seconds, he pulled his briefs up.  Maybe hardly believing that he had done that in the first place. 

“Wait,” said Amy, one of the female volunteers.  “I didn’t get a good look.”

Charles paused, made a decision, and pulled the briefs back down, exposing himself again.

“Notice the difference between Charles and Kevin,” said Dawn.

She went over to Charles and pulled the foreskin, demonstrating how it would retract during sex. 

“That’s fine, Charles.  You can pull your pants up now,” said Dawn. 

Dawn continued to talk about the penis and how it reacted to stimulation.  She asked if anyone wanted to touch me.  Several of the girls did, feeling the weight of the organ and fingering the ridge at the top.  No guy dared to touch me.  (I was just as happy about that.) 

Dawn put a small drop of massage oil on her hand and began to rub my penis.  With her other hand, she stroked the testicles.  Predictably, my penis rose into the air.

There were a few gasps from the girls as the organ soared over my abdomen.  (We had chosen virgins, remember.)

“The penis is full of nerve endings, and stimulating it will lead to the ejaculation of sperm.  Let’s see if we can get Kevin here to cooperate.”

She stroked the penis, from the bottom to the top, then circling the tip.  Her eyes staring at mine, encouraging me.  I closed my eyes to focus just on the pleasure.  I didn’t need much persuasion.  After a few delightful minutes, I grunted loudly as semen flew from the penis onto my abdomen and chest. 

The girls were wide-eyed.  A few covered their mouth with their hand, almost in disbelief.  Dawn continued talking about ejaculation, how the penis collapsed after it, etc., etc., but no one was listening. We had crossed a line.  This was exhibitionism that they had never seen before.  Whatever expectation they’d had of this study before was easily surpassed.  They had to be wondering what was coming next.  Good.  There was a lot.

“That’s enough for today.  We’ll see you all tomorrow,” said Dawn.

Day Four.  ‘Massage’           

Our plan was to get them used to nudity.  Getting Charles to expose himself, even briefly, had been a bonus.  Now we’d expand the circle. 

“Today we’ll pair each person up with someone of the opposite sex.  That person will be your partner for the day.  Don’t worry, later you’ll choose your partner, so if you’ve got your eye on someone, just be patient.”

“We’re going to teach you the art of massage.  We’ll start by having each woman lie on one of the massage tables we’ve lined up, just wearing underwear.  The partner will do the massage.  There will be no sexual touching.  Rather, you’ll learn how to relax your partner while giving her the pleasure of touch.”

We were being a little deceitful here.  Outside of a professional massage, it’s hard to separate touch and sexual pleasure between a man and a woman.

The ladies were hesitant, but it took just one person, in this case Marissa, to strip down to her underwear, for the others to follow suit.  One girl, Carla, was wearing a thong panty and privately asked Dawn if she could be excused from this exercise as it was pretty skimpy.  Dawn told her no.  The power of peer pressure – and the learned pressure to follow instructions -- won out.  All the girls were soon in their underwear.

We instructed the girls to lie on their stomachs.  The boys were provided with massage oil, and Dawn and I showed them how to knead the skin, applying pressure with the fingers and palms.  We had them start on the back and shoulders, slowly working down the spine. 

“You can release the bra to get full access to the back, but remember, no sexual touching,” I said.

Again, a little bit devious here.  Freeing the bra exposed more skin, and make the breasts visible from the side.  It increased the sexual tension, with the excuse of getting full access to the back.  The men all rubbed the back down to the base of the spine.  Skipping the buttocks (as we instructed them), they then started at the feet and ankles, gradually rising up the leg to the thighs. 

Some of the girls kept their legs tightly together, but we gently moved them apart so the boy could massage the inside of the thigh.  We could see signs of sexual arousal in the hurried breathing and flushed skin of the girls.  But we pretended not to notice, maintaining the fiction that this was just about massage.

“OK, girls, time to turn over,” Dawn advised.

This upped the stakes.  They rolled over, holding the loosened bra to cover the breasts.  Being able to look into the eyes of the guy rubbing them, with their front exposed (although in bra and panties), excited both the men and women.  We had the guys massage the shoulders, the top of the chest, the stomach, then the feet and legs.  We had them carefully avoid any erogenous zones, but this teasing only served to heighten the sexual tension. 

“OK, folks, let’s break for lunch.  Afterwards, it will be the girls turn to massage their partner.”

The girls got dressed and lunch was served.  The sexual atmosphere in the room was palpable. 

We repeated the process, now with the guys lying on their stomachs, wearing only underwear.  The girls massaged their back and legs.  All went well until we asked the boys to roll over.  We knew this would be a defining moment. 

The boys were now lying on their backs.  The girls began the massage of the shoulders and the chests, leading down to the abdomen.  There was some heavy breathing and a few moans.  As the girls started on the legs, working their way higher toward the thighs, the predictable happened.  First one boy, then another, began to get an erection.  Their briefs bulged out, tenting the fabric.  The girls were flustered, not knowing whether to continue or to stop.

“This is a natural reaction, which we discussed before.  Ignore it and continue the massage,” Dawn advised. 

They spread more warm massage oil on the boys and continued pressing and rubbing. 

One of the boys, Charles, cried out.  It was clear what was going to happen next.  He ejaculated into his shorts, to collective gasps.  It’s what we wanted. 

“That’s enough for now, folks.  Guys, get dressed, and let’s talk about this experience,” I told them.

We gathered the eight together. 

“So, what was your reaction to this exercise?” we asked

“It was embarrassing,” said Charles.  “I couldn’t control myself.”  He turned to his partner for the day, “I’m sorry, Elaine.”

Elaine spoke: “There’s no reason to apologize.  I thought it was wonderful.  I’m not pretty like the other girls, and I didn’t know if I could arouse a man.  That you got excited gives me confidence.”

That was the consensus, that the ability to arouse, and be aroused, gave each self-assurance.  These were people who had never consummated a sexual experience; now they realized that they could be on the threshold of doing so. 

We were delighted.  Tomorrow we’d take things a step further.

Day Five. ‘Nude Q&A.’             

We had each person pick a partner of the opposite sex for this next exercise.  Having been together for four days now, people knew enough to have preferences.  They paired up quickly. 

“Today each couple is going to be separated from the others, so you can talk privately.  Sitting face-to-face, in the lotus position with your knees touching, you’ll ask each other questions.  [Sitting them touching, knee to knee, was deliberate.  Designed to promote intimacy and to force them to look into each other’s eyes.]  This is your chance to get honest answers to questions you’d never ask, even of a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Here are some suggestions.  You can pick among them, or make up your own questions.

1,      What do you find sexy in the opposite sex?

2.      What do you not like in the other sex?

3.      As an adult, when did you first realize you had a sexual interest in someone?  What was that like?

4,      Do you look at porn?  Why, what type, and how does it affect you?

5.      Describe how you masturbate.  How often?” 

(There were some gasps when I suggested that question.) 

“Ask whatever you are curious about; the other person is required to answer truthfully.  All answers are to be kept confidential.  Dawn and I will travel among you, just to see how things are going.  Ignore us; we’ll be flies on the wall.”

“Oh, and there is one other thing.  The couple will be nude.”

There was immediate consternation among the group. 

Amy protested.  “What if we don’t want to do that?”

“If someone objects,” I said, “one person can be in their underwear.  But not both partners.  One has to be nude.  Each couple where someone objects will discuss and decide who should be nude.”

We designed this little wrinkle to make the hesitant party have to explain to a partner why their modesty was more important than their partner’s.  To make the person explore his or her internal motivations. 

“Just a reminder, despite the temptations that nudity might offer, there is to be no touching.” 

There was much trepidation as the couples went to their separate rooms. 

In the first two rooms, the couples agreed that each would remove all their clothes.  In the third room, the girl, Amy, objected to nudity; the boy, Charles, did not.  In the last room, both Carla and John each wanted to keep their underwear on.

It was the latter two rooms that interested us the most. 

In room number 3, Charles had agreed to be nude.  He removed his outer clothes, as Amy did with hers.  Then, Amy sat down in the lotus position.  Charles slipped off his briefs and got down also.  With the knees wide apart, Charles genitals were very exposed. 

“This is really weird, isn’t it?” said Charles.

“Yes, I don’t know why they’re forcing us to do this.  It’s not right,” said Amy.

“I’ve never been nude like this with anyone before,” said Charles.  “I don’t have a lot of experience, but the few times I’ve been intimate with a woman, we both took off our clothes.”

 “Why did you agree to be the one to strip?” asked Amy.

“Well,” said Charles, “you saw my penis already when Dawn talked me into exposing myself.  And you seem like such a nice person, I didn’t want you to be embarrassed.”

“That’s really sweet of you.  Thank you,” said Amy. “So, what question do you want to ask me?”

Charles thought. 

“I’ve always wanted to ask a woman what’s it’s like to have a period?  Is it weird?”

Amy drew in a breath.  She’d never discussed this subject with any man, but with Charles having exposed himself to spare her embarrassment, it would be hard to refuse to answer.

“Well, it was mighty strange at first, but you become used to it.  Some girls get sick, and have cramps during their time, but I’m lucky.  I don’t have those problems.  But my breasts get very sensitive.  And I get bloated – retaining water -- so that it’s harder to zip up my jeans.  It’s just part of being a woman.”

“Thank you,” Charles said.  “I’m sure that’s not a question you get asked often by a guy.  What do you want to ask me?”

Amy thought, ‘I’ll just go for it,’ she told herself.

“What’s it like to have that thing in your pants that’s moving all the time, changing size, getting bigger, then smaller?”

Charles laughed.  “Well, it’s not like that.  It’s not changing size unless a pretty girl like you comes along, under the right circumstances.”

Amy blushed slightly.  Sweet of him to say that, she thought.

“It’s so normal that I don’t think about it,” continued Charles.  “But most guys are pretty happy having a penis.  It’s a fun thing.”

They both laughed.

 “Your turn,” said Amy.

“What do you think of when you see a naked man?” Charles asked.

“It doesn’t happen that often.  While women are shown naked in movies, in magazines, in artwork, everywhere, male nudity is not that common.  And I’ve led somewhat of a sheltered life.  I’ve only had a few boyfriends.”

“Were you naked with them?” Charles asked.

Amy lowered her eyes.  Wow, he was getting close to her secret, she thought.  She didn’t advertise that she was a virgin. 

“Well, a little bit.  Not completely naked,” she answered.

“So, what do you think when you look at me now?” asked Charles.

“I think you’re a very attractive man.  I love the muscles in your chest, and your flat stomach.  And it’s liberating to be able to look openly at your genitals.  I was shocked at those demonstrations by Dawn and Kevin, but you know, it was a good thing.  About time I became the adult that I’m supposed to be.”

“Your turn,” Charles said to Amy.

“Why are you not hard now?” she asked, looking at what in its unexcited states was, to be blunt, a shriveled, tiny appendage.

“Well, sexual excitement depends on the situation.  We’re not lovers, we’re taking part in a psychology experiment, and you’re not naked,” he answered.

“If I were naked, would you become aroused?”

With that comment, and the suggestion, Charles’ penis began to stir.  Not an erection, but not completely flaccid either.  Amy noticed.

“It’s not right that I’m making you be naked while I sit here protecting my modesty,” Amy said.  “I need to take off the rest of my clothes.”

“Are you sure?” asked Charles.

“Yes.”  Amy stood up and unclasped the bra.  Lovely, round firm breasts spilled out.  Then she lowered her panties.  She was shaven, and the lips of her vagina were prominent.  She sat down, lotus position, knees pressed against his.

Charles leaned forward and they hugged.  Charles’ penis rose, not a full erection, but not flaccid either.

“If I touched it, would it rise even more?” Amy asked.

Charles gulped.  “Yes, but they said we weren’t to have sexual contact.” 

“Are you always a rule follower?” Amy asked, with a small smile.

“Normally, yes.  But there are always exceptions, aren’t there?” Charles said.

Amy grabbed the semi-erect penis.  It rose toward the sky, making both parties proud.  Once that issue was resolved, they resumed the question-and-answer session. 

In room 4, Carla and John looked at each other.  Both had asked to keep clothes on and both were still fully clothed.    

“I need to tell you that I’m very shy,” said Carla.  “The idea of being naked mortifies me.” 

“I know most guys would strip off their clothes in a minute if a pretty girl asked them to,” said John, “but I’m not most guys.  I was raised in a household where no one walked around showing skin; we used bathrobes, not towels, going to and from the shower.  I’m just not comfortable being naked, not even in the boys’ locker room.”

 How do we decide who strips?” asked Carla.

“You should do it,” said John.  “Actresses run around naked in movies all the time.  I even went to a modern dance recital where the women dancers were topless.  It’s not that big a deal for women,”

“I beg your pardon,” answered Carla.  “It’s a big deal for this woman.  And you only have one body part to cover up, I have two.  Or three, depending on how you count.”

John laughed at that, although he wasn’t sure she meant it as a joke.

“Or maybe we both strip but sit back-to-back while we ask the questions.  That way we’re naked, but we can’t see each other,” said Carla.

“But that’s not following the rules; we’re supposed to sit facing each other,” John countered.

“Who gave them the power to make us strip?” said Carla.  “If we both refuse, what are they going to do?”

“That’s not following the instructions.  They could deny us the $500.  I could use the money,” said John.  “We could do ‘rock, paper, scissors’ to decide.  Two out of three.”

“That’s insane,” said Carla.

They sat there in a stalemate.  This was going nowhere.  Time was passing. 

“Why don’t we at least strip down to our underwear,” suggested John.  “Maybe that will help us decide.”

That seemed reasonable.  They’d all been in their underwear already, on the massage tables.  And that at least was closer to complying with the instructions.  They rose and each began removing clothes.  When Carla stepped out of her pants, John saw the thong underwear.

“You’re practically naked already,” he said.  “What’s the big deal going the next step?  It’s only a few inches of fabric.”

“Well, that’s a dumb argument,” countered Carla.  “Your briefs are pretty tight.  I can see the outline of your penis.  Maybe you shouldn’t be so uptight.”

They glared at each other.  Then Carla began to laugh.  “Isn’t this quite ridiculous” she said.  “How old are we?”

John laughed too.  It was an outrageous situation. 

“All right.  We’ve got to get this over with.  Enough.  At the count of 3, I’ll take off my briefs and you take off your panties.  Agreed?”

Carla slowly nodded yes.

John counted “1, 2, 3.”  They both lowered their garment.  Carla also took off her bra.

“It’s done” he said.  “And you know what?  It’s not so bad.  You’re a beautiful woman.”

“Likewise,” said Carla, motioning at him, and they both sat down to start the questions.

So it was that in all four rooms, all the participants ended up nude.  Dawn and I were delighted.  We’d engineered strategies that brought this group of uptight people to that acceptance.  They were now ready for the next step. 

Day Six. ‘Introducing Sex’                

We began by asking each couple from the day before to describe their situation.  How they decided to become nude, and the questions asked.  We didn’t have them discuss the answers (confidentiality), just the topics.  Everyone was surprised that all eight of them had ended up nude.  And stunned by the breadth and intimacy of the questions asked. 

“I’d have died to have been asked that,” said Elaine, hearing one inquiry. 

“But I would have been mortified if I had to answer what you were asked,” said Marissa.

They came to accept that the intimacy of the situation, and the privacy of one-on-one, expanded the bounds of what one normally would consider acceptable. 

This was a teaching moment.  (I was training to be a therapist, after all.)

I made my speech:  “Morality, propriety, are not immutable concepts.  If you had been asked a week ago if you’d ever sit nude with a new acquaintance, discussing the most intimate issues, you’d have said that was inconceivable.  But you did it.  And you’ve watched two men ejaculate, and a woman become aroused.  The sky didn’t fall.  Sex is a central part of human existence.  Once you embrace it, openly and responsibly, an enormous fount of pleasure opens up for you.  This is what we want for you.”

There were nods of agreement and smiles all around.

“I think we’re ready to move on.  Today we’ll explore another element of a normal, healthy sex life.  Up until now, we’ve cautioned against sexual touching.  Now, that restriction is lifted.  Our exercise today is to bring a partner to a sexual climax, orally.”

There was stirring among the group as this salacious proposition sank in.  But not gasps, as some prior suggestions had provoked.  They were becoming conditioned.

“We’d like two volunteers, one man, one woman, to be our guinea pigs for a demonstration.  We’ll take a 10-minute break while you all consider this.”

We deliberately gave them time, hoping that all they’d done so far would tempt some to volunteer. 

There was a lot of discussion among the eight.  When the 10 minutes was up, I asked if there were any volunteers. 

Amy spoke.  “Kevin, we know that if no one volunteers, you and Dawn will do it.  But that’s allowing us to shirk accountability as adults.  So, we’ve decided that Charles and I will be your guinea pigs.”

We were delighted, especially as Amy had been one yesterday who initially objected to nudity. 

“Thank you both.  That’s wonderful.  Come on up.”

They came to the front, and I asked Charles to remove his clothes and climb onto the examination table.  I positioned Amy facing the group, by his waist.  I dimmed the lights in the room to provide a little atmosphere, to make Charles more conducive to the moment.  The rest of the students gathered round the table. 

I asked Amy if she had ever done this before, and she said no. 

“How do you feel about the prospect of putting your mouth on Charles’ penis? I asked.

She paused.  “It’s a little weird.  I mean, he pees from that, doesn’t he?”

“Well, yes, but if it’s any comfort, a man can’t urinate when he has an erection.”

“Yeah,” she said, “but other stuff comes out.  Ugh.”

“True, but you can avoid getting that in your mouth, if that’s what you wish.”

“I wish,” she replied, to laughter from the group, including Charles.

Dawn took over.  “Amy, the first step is to provoke sexual tension, leading to an erection.  Use your hands to rub his chest, his stomach, along his thighs.  Be sure to look into his eyes as you do this.  Then touch the genitals.”

Amy did as instructed, and an erection appeared.  The easy part.

“Now,” said Dawn, “you’ll use a combination of your hand massaging the testicles, and your tongue licking upward on the shaft.  Linger with the tongue circling the tip of the penis – very sensitive there.”

“How does that feel, Charles?” I asked.  He gave a thumbs-up of approval.

“Next, while applying gentle pressure on the testicles, placed your mouth over Charles’ organ.  Begin sucking upward.”

Amy did as she was told.  Charles began squirming. 

“Focus your attention on the tip of the penis, with your mouth and tongue.  Occasionally, take the penis deeper into your mouth and slide back and forth down the shaft.”

“Keep the hand rubbing up and down on the base as you work the top with your mouth.”

“Twist your hand as you rub, so you’re circling around the penis.” 

“Now, with your lips, firmly increase the pressure over the penis,” Dawn suggested.

Amy worked, stroking up and down.

Dawn turned to Charles.  “Charles, you know when you’re about to ejaculate.  You need to tell Amy so she can avoid getting a mouthful.”

“That’ll be my pleasure,” said Charles.  “Literally and figuratively.”

He was making a joke.  Perfect.  Sex was becoming destigmatized.  It was hard to remember these were two virgins.

Amy’s ministrations were working like a charm, and Charles began to moan.

“OK, he’s getting close.  Alternately increase the speed, then slow down, so that the sensation differs and his level of excitement changes.” 

Further moans from Charles, more rapidly now.

“Amy, with your free hand, slide a finger below the scrotum, toward the anus.  Very gently slide a finger just an inch or two into the anus and press upward.  This will put pressure on his prostate gland.”

That was like lighting a match to kerosene. 

“I’m about to come!” he cried.

“OK, remove your mouth,” shouted Dawn.  “Catch the ejaculate with your hand!”

On cue, Charles thrashed about and ejaculated.

The six observers applauded. 

“Nice job, Amy” said Elaine.

“Are you sure you’ve never done that before?” asked Marissa.

“So, Charles, how was it?” I asked.

“I’m in love,” Charles answered, to laughter.

We took a break, to allow Amy and Charles to wash up, and to let the others talk among themselves.  We were only half way done.

“Ok, folks, we have another demonstration, this time, with the female receiving the pleasure.  Do we have two volunteers?”

John and Carla raised their hands.

Charles spoke up: “I feel like it should be Amy and me again, so I can return the favor.”

“Do that on your own time,” said Carla.  “Give someone else a turn.”

It was said in good humor, and everyone laughed.

Carla removed her clothes and climbed nude onto the table, with her bottom a third of the way to the end, her legs apart straddling the exam table.  John positioned himself between her legs. 

“This demonstration won’t be as visual as the last one, as you’ll not be able to see as much.  John’s head is going to obscure most of what he’s doing. The ultimate focus is the clitoris, the female equivalent of the penis in terms of sensitivity.  John will start by reaching up and massaging the breasts and the abdomen, to build some sexual tension.”

John did as he was told, manipulating the nipples, rubbing down to her pelvis. 

“Now rub your hands along the lips of the vagina.  Then use a finger to press inside. In the beginning, avoid the clitoris.  Rubbing the clitoris before a woman is fully aroused can be uncomfortable for her.”

He did this for a few minutes, and a smile on Carla’s face suggested she was ready for more.

“OK, I’m going to place a pillow under Carla’s buttocks to raise the pelvis and make John’s approach easier.”

The pillow thrust the vagina upward, and with Carla’s legs wide apart, the vagina opened, inviting attention.

“Now, gently, very gently, with your tongue and lips, touch and press upward on the lips of the vagina.  Long, slow licks.  We want a gradual buildup, which is more effective than being aggressive.  We’re still avoiding the clitoris.  We want the clitoris engorged before we stimulate it.  Pretend you’re licking a dripping ice cream cone; start at the bottom and work your way up.”

John did this for a while, and there were pleasant sounds coming from Carla.

“OK, she’s ready.  Now press and suck on the clitoris.  Sensitive tissue, so not too hard.  Use the tongue.  And be sure to work the area above the clitoris, as it’s all connected.  It’s okay to take short breaks, and then return.  The pause allows the organ to relax, to receive the pleasure afresh.”

John was a good student, and worked the area slowly and diligently.

“Now grab both buttocks with your hands, and raise her pelvis up toward your mouth.  This changes the angle and the experience.”

Carla’s fists clenched as she absorbed the peaking pleasure.  Her shoulders pressed against the table as she began gently thrusting her pelvis upward, to meet John’s tongue.  It wasn’t long before she let out a cry and climaxed. 

The group was as agitated as I’d seen them.  Today’s verbal and visual demonstrations combined to be a powerful aphrodisiac.  It was my plan to end the session with this, but the students wouldn’t leave.

“You can’t send me away after that.  I’ve got no privacy in the dorm,” complained David.  “That would be cruel and unusual punishment.”
There was laughter, but it was universal that they wanted to try out all this new information.

“Okay, we still have the individual rooms here.  If couples want to use them, that’s up to you,” I said.  “Tomorrow is graduation.  Get a good night’s sleep.”

The couples from the “Nude Q&A” all but ran to the separate rooms.  Dawn and I didn’t stay to observe, but never did students enjoy home work more.

Day Seven. ‘Graduation’              

“When we advertised for participants in this study, we asked for individuals whose sexual experience was limited.  But in fact, as you may have guessed by now, all of you are virgins.  No one has had sexual intercourse.  That’s not usual in our highly-sexed society, and we wanted to see if we could move you, with incremental steps, toward an acceptance of sexual pleasure for its own sake.  We’ve done what we aimed to, but there is one piece missing.  And that is intercourse.  Today, you’re going to have that opportunity.  Now, no one is required to commit to it.  If you want to wait for that special person, or even for marriage, fine.  That’s an individual choice.”

“First, you need to decide if you want to engage in the final act.  Everything will take place in this room, and everyone can watch each other.  We’ve tried to demystify nudity and overt arousal, so no one should be ashamed.  Let’s take a 10-minute break, while you decide what to do, and with whom to do it.  Men must wear condoms, which are available.  And you aren’t limited to one partner.”

This last piece was a stunner to the group.  We were offering an orgy.  We didn’t know if they would accept it.

The students huddled, and predictably everyone chose the partner they had from the nude Q&A.  That experience had built a powerful bond.  They were no longer just partners, but they had become a couple. 

We had spread mattresses on the floor.  One by one, each couple came to a mattress. 

“This time, we want your partner to remove your clothes.  Stand still while he or she strips you, then return the favor.  When you’re both naked, do whatever you want.”

The clothes came off, and the couples embraced and began to kiss.  Soon enough they fell to the mattresses, and they attacked each other with a fervor that this week of sexual tension had built up.  There was no need for our involvement, no need for instruction.  We just let them give in to the passion.  Some were slow, some were fast, but ultimately all couples ended up having intercourse.  Those who ended early watched the others.  No one accepted the offer of multiple partners.  It’s hard to remove all of society’s prohibitions in just one week. 

We had all eight huddle in a circle, still naked, and handed out glasses of champagne.  Without shame, without guilt, they laughed and drank and talked about their experience. 

Some of the couples stayed together for months after the study ended.  Others kissed and went their separate ways.  But they felt changed and liberated.  And they stayed close.  At the one-year anniversary of the study, they all spent the night in a hotel to reminisce – and probably more. They invited Dawn and me, but as we’d graduated and opened up our sex-therapist practice, we had obligations and couldn’t get away.  But we fondly wished them well.  Our first clients.