We were sad to leave Patagonia and The Lodge and knew that one unreality was being exchanged for another: full-on into The Suites and The Experiment.

Our flight back was identical to Sarah’s on that busy, colder morning: CRJ to Ezeiza, then A350 home, albeit that when we turned our heads, the Apella Ramp was empty because they were already above, rather than Sarah knowing that her friends were behind her, ready to soar skyward, and her love in the cold hangar.

When I signed up for TLS, I was honest with the producers and Experts: I'd been on my own for so long that it would take time to get used to living with someone 24/7 and, if successful, I didn’t envisage doing that after the show for a while as I would need time to adjust.

In Patagonia, Stuart had probed me about their separations as it seemed to have been solely positive for them. I started in EA mode: Rapid has strong processes for managing it: times for calls and times not to call which he understood completely. Then, as soon as Andy’s head had settled into slumber on the GX, I’d put those goods in her diary and I was there for her the whole time, in part from duty, in part from the right thing. He was curious why they never went to The Suites, and I explained that initially, she’d gone for familiarity and comfort, and she’d simply made that her sole priority and post-his arrival, they simply needed more physical space to work.

He was shocked that they’d actively scheduled time apart as, in The Experiment, time apart is to deal with problems. I explained that Det is full-on, and people are annihilated at the end, which he nodded, having got the gist. I said that when the crew gets home it’s two days solely with their partner to reunite, albeit the partner is simply the follower, then two completely apart so the crew member can unwind and order their thoughts and then it’s up to them. Initially, David, then Weasel had appraised her of the what and the why, and they’d simply followed process and then decided to retain it as they had lots of work to do and would need office time. I knew they referred to them as Miss You Days: time to reflect, ponder and breathe. They still messaged and felt together, albeit apart, and I smiled knowing that it was just after one of those reunitings that the other dresses and her Formal had been very pleasantly delivered.

“They are Experts,” he laughed, “Not The Experts, but Our Experts?” he questioned, and I saw he’d slightly opened a door that he was wary of pushing through in case I’d get the wrong impression.

“Is there any work you need to do?” I asked pushing on it.

Another gentle push: “Nothing really urgent, but things that if the opportunity arose, I probably should do.”

I pushed it further open: “Alisha’s fully in charge, but Angie always needs some help, plus there’s the garden!” and then it was fully open as we decided that at the end of the week, we’d go home for two Miss You days, then we told Sacha who looked very glum about it, though politely kept counsel and our lips sealed the deal. What we didn’t tell him was that we’d agreed to Miss You days every 10 days after that, though we could call them earlier if we felt needed.

Landing back at the airport, we deplaned and exited the airbridge. I looked up, 34: the same gate as last time and I lingered. He silently held me, looking into my eyes. “I’ve spent so much time in airports over the years, the last time was very fun,” I laughed, and he kissed me wondering whether this was the spot where all the secret fun had occurred, thus making some of our own fun. “Sorry, this is supposed to be about us,” I kissed him again.

“Life is like a Swiss Roll: lots of layers: the dry sponge and the tasty, creamy filling. I’m just happy to get tastes of your roll,” he cheekily kissed me, and I playfully pinched his bum.

We walked towards Baggage Claim, and I spied Joe’s Café, so I steered him there and ordered a pair of Hot Chocs with marshmallows. We found the nearest table and I laughed when I saw someone had discarded the doodle board. The drinks arrived and he placed a sweet in his mouth, then leaned in so I could bite-kiss it: though of the latter than the former, which I repeated. He took the pen, and his free hand placed my hand on top as he looked into my eyes, kissed me and we idly scribbled on it. “We write together, your vows said,” growl-laughing and then repeated the marshmallow kiss, though this time, we kissed longer and deeper and repeated until the sweets and drinks were finished.

I knew The Boys would be getting worried at our tardiness, so as we passed by Airside News, I nipped in and bought a packet of Marshmallows, and he laughed.

On arrival at The Suites, they filmed us leaving the taxi, then stopped. I reached into my handbag, “Here Boys,” I called out as I tossed the sweets in their direction and Sacha caught them as Stuart shrugged.

They trailed us to the room and filmed us entering, exhausted from the long trip as he opened the door, and I went in. On the bed was the customary framed photo of us with our staged kiss and I picked it up. “Welcome to our abode, hopefully for the full eight weeks,” he said as he came around my front and wrapped his arms around me.

“Eight weeks, and a king bed,” I kissed him playfully. “Queen bed and I’d have been out of here faster than a rat up a drainpipe,” I playfully snarled at him as he kissed me back, then The Crew left us for the night. He did his usual nod, and I grabbed PJ bottoms and playfully waved them at him as I headed into the bathroom for an overdue shower. Later, I came out topless and he playfully ran his arm over my bust, enjoying his touch, as he headed for his cleanse.

While he was showering, I placed my book on the table, then he re-emerged and kissed me again and led me to the bed. We snuggled into the bed, gently kissing and hands exploring chests as I felt new and very pleasant sensations before we drifted off.

Our first day in The Suites started as all our days had: curled up together, but now his hand was on my bare breasts, holding me tight to him. He kissed my neck and gently caressed me, waking me up and I felt his attraction wake too, which I enjoyed as mine did. We got up and put tops on, just as The Boys arrived and we greeted them to their semi-dislike as it ruined their staging.

Stuart made coffee for everyone, and I put the cereals which we put on the table, but the book slid off, revealing an envelope, surprising him, though I had to play along as during our Honeymoon, we’d mused about being the oldest of the couples and wondered about their ages. I’d managed to obtain a blank envelope from the hotel and then wrote out the card.

“Bit early, better open it like we’re supposed to do, I deadpanned,” and looked around at the blank Sacha.

He opened it. “Your challenge is to each write the answers to these questions:

1.      How many couples’ total age is younger than yours?

2.      How many are younger / older than Andy and Sarah (2pts) apart from you?

3.      If you lose, what are you betting?

Sacha will collect the cards and score them, returning them after the Dinner Party.

A draw means both bets are collected.”

“What?” Sacha exclaimed and Stuart came over and kissed me.

“Naughty: jumping the poor boy: The bet is on” and we kissed an agreement and Sacha just shrugged. We turned away from each other and wrote our answers, though I had the edge as I knew exactly how old A&S are, then we handed them over to Sacha.

He told us that we would be the penultimate couple going into Dinner Party, so we headed out for a walk and to get some groceries: for more than just the two of us as I decided The Boys needed some sustenance after I’d just run them over!

Hitting the supermarket together was nice as we were doing a normal couple thing: deciding what to buy and seeing how the other went about it and examining preferences.

On our return, we discussed what to wear. For me, event dress was like work dress: either blouse and skirt or dress and I chose a light blue full-length dress. For him, it was generally shirt and trousers, then we had a quick lunch and were ready for the taxi.

In the taxi, we just snuggled: The Elephant had been talked about at Ezeiza on our short layover: how to deal with the entwinement of Andy and Sarah with our wedding and honeymoon. We didn’t want to deny, debase or lie about them and their role in my enthusiasm for Patagonia, nor did we want to TMI the situation by being completely honest, so we settled on the Third, Concise Way: They are my friends and they’d been there recently and enjoyed it.

We entered the room, not holding hands, but very close and surveyed the group. There was nobody within a decade of us and some were definitely under half of our ages. Some people looked at us, curious about our age. We introduced ourselves and they asked about our wedding, “You expected a gentle wedding to a gentle old lady,” I laughed repeating our in-joke and people were curious why I’d make such a seemingly deprecating joke, then we went to the bar and got Prosecco, but it was the cheapo stuff.

He smiled, “Of the three kids,” he emphasised the word, “Only the flower girl actually is, and she seemed to be running the show!” he laughed, though people thought it was a dig. “And the other two are a married couple, older than most of you,” again bafflement. “You are more than I hoped for,” he held my hands to coos. “The wedding was very different: a powerful expression of your friends’ love for you and hope for us.”

Stuart: I could see the couples thought this was all rather abstract and obscure: kids being a married couple, a bossy flower girl and that it was about A&S’ love for Annie, not about her.  From talking with her friends at the wedding dinner, I knew that their end of the Uniting (yes: I picked that up too!) was truly about her: they simply want her to marry someone who deserves her, and I know what will happen if I screw up! Truthfully, if someone had told me how the wedding would go, my head would have spun. Now, I just laugh and bathe in the day’s warmth.

They asked where our honeymoon was. “Weird: two-centre?” a bride asked, and I admitted my hand in this which they thought most unusual and wondered how I’d managed that. I looked at him straight, “You didn’t think that going plane-spotting on a cold runway would be a hot date?” I played again, and I saw that everybody agreed with my comment.

“I knew it would be hot as that’s who I’m with,” he deadpanned to approval, “Your friend’s explanation piqued me as I knew we weren’t eyeing Boeings. When we got to the viewpoint, the scenery was stunning which made it even better. Finally, seeing these two unique craft descend from the heavens as we looked out over the lake I held you: it was truly stunning,” he exhaled and then politely kissed my cheek respectful enough here, your respect there was respectful enough too, I inwardly smiled.

It was interesting for both of us observing the couples: some very close and occasional PDA’ing, some holding hands intermittently and sadly, several we wondered whether they’d bail tomorrow. We sat close, though rarely holding hands and sometimes a playful ankle kick or nudge to emphasise, though. I actually understood more of what the youngers were referring to thanks to my work breakfast habit and occasional Rapid entrapments and sometimes, I’d whisper it to Stuart as while some of his team were of that age, they weren’t that informal in their chats.

Stuart: I was interested how they’d treat us as we’ve got 20 years on most of them and, I suspect 30 on at least one and most of the guys are younger than my son. They were slightly wary of us and thankfully, not asking about sex and wondering how far they should push the tone. We both liked this as around us, there seemed to be less coarseness and bitching. I realised that Annie’s singleness and role has the inverse effect on her: she is very attuned with people much younger and because of The Twins’ kids, knows a lot about people of all ages!

Annie: We found that especially the younger couples were rather wary of me as I think they thought I was probably easily offended due to my age and work, so we sought out the older couples during dinner, hoping that in time, the others would open up to us. Edward and Emmaline seemed to be the oldest and likely marginally older than A&S and they discovered that, especially me, were actually quite on their wavelength as Alesha and Bex are in their late twenties, so I do have people of similar age, though we didn’t mention A&S! We invited them for a morning tea the following day.

The next morning, we woke and quickly dressed before The Boys came in. They started filming and Sacha presented an envelope to Stuart. Stuart groaned, wondering what was in store, then he opened it and showed it to me and the camera, slightly curious.

It was wordless and had three graphics on it: A Sofa with a colon after, Loving Old Birds as we referred to our jumpers’ logo and finally, Unity. I laughed as he got the message too: It was an instruction from Andy and Sarah [Unity] to wear our jumpers tonight and I wondered why. We looked at Sacha and he just shrugged.

He then pinned a sheet of paper on the wall: the Fake Card Challenge, as we’d termed it, results: it was a draw: two couples’ total age younger than me, five younger than A&S and two between them and us, which we’d guessed exactly. My lose was a dinner and Stuart’s was a massage. Sacha stood there, “And for being naughty, you have to cook us a special dinner too,” he smiled, and we laughed as I’d planned to cook for them anyway and he knew it by the amount of groceries we’d brought back yesterday.

We greeted Edward and Emmaline as they walked in and they briefly nodded at The Boys, and they looked at Sacha’s paper and asked about it. We explained about our honeymoon bet and they laughed, though we referred to A&S as our friends. It was good to get to know a fellow couple and they too, didn’t seem to be in much of a rush relationship-wise and also quite comfortable. They thought the jumpers were cute and that they described us, and we explained that they were a gift from my colleague!

It was good to talk about our experiences so far and how things were. They were curious why I wanted Argentina, and I paired my phone, showing The Lodge’s website and then switching to my OneDrive where Steve and Weasel had dropped Apella and Falcon pics. They were shocked at the pics of Heron and Apella that showed their fragility and how they could soar so high. They cooed over the pics – especially some that Andy had pulled for Sarah from Weasel/F1’s day flights on Cycle 2, though I deliberately didn’t attribute. I was getting nudges from Stuart as he’d seen some of the Falcon pics and now had a good idea which ones were and weren’t. They thought that Steve was my friend there which is semi-true, and we didn’t disabuse them of this to protect A&S.

“Bit different from beach holiday,” Edward snuggled into his bride, “Maybe should put it on our list,” he looked into her eyes.

“Can you get us that hot deal,” she smiled, looking at us and we laughed.

Later, we formed up on the sofas in the studio, waiting to be quizzed and I wondered why The Experts wore jackets which I’d never seen them do before.

“Annie and Stuart, please come up,” Saskia instructed. As we walked up, she raised her hand in a hold signal, then dropped it and a spin signal just as we reached the sofa.

Sid’s head hit his knees, “Not again,” he groaned, and the couples gasped wondering what was up. I nudged Stuart as he was in on last year’s jumper antics.

“Sidney, come on,” Saskia cooed, “They look good in them.”

“It gets worse,” he morosely groaned, and as they got up, we wondered why our jumpers had made him so miserable.

“So worse,” Joelle groaned as they stripped their jackets revealing .. identical jumpers with a logo of a nested wise owl with pursed lips and its wings propping its head as it peered out and in small letter underneath xx ASTER.

“They got at us too,” they laughed, and so did we as we now knew that our friends had gifted them and that Sacha was in on it too, though it seemed that those couples that had watched last year’s show had forgotten about the Jumper Incidents.

“This year, we’re going to start by showing a wedding,” he happily observed and for once, smiling. “Though one that only one of you guys was at,” and I heard a sharp intake from the crowd wondering why only one person was there, though Stuart nudged me as we knew who that was.

We snuggled in and, as their wedding played on the screen, I started tearing up remembering how wonderful their ceremony was, and I felt his hand grip me tighter and his breathing slow. “I know you’re strong, you can show it,” I whispered to him, and he started crying pleasant tears too as The Experts were crying too.

When it stopped, there was silence. We got up and approached them, and they rose and embraced, trying to stop crying. Finally, we returned to our positions.

I decided to lead this and turned to my guy, “Now you’ve seen their wedding, how do you feel,” I asked surprising the usurped Experts.

He breathed deeply, still trying to compose himself. “Our wedding was absolutely amazing. Now I really understand: It was the second day of pure, honest love. Their wedding was so different, so right, and so full of love: their love and everyone’s love for them, and for you at their toast. I know our wedding was right, now I know why so right,” he sealed the comment with a kiss.

“Experts: your opinion?” I quickly fired back to the still-surprised trio.

“The wedding day theme was ‘Celebrating Connections’” Sid purred. “So true: Their wedding capped a whole day celebrating connections: respect, collaboration and connection.”

“We were honoured that our friends invited us,” Joelle cooed.

“Who are the couple,” bride Alana called out and we laughed.

“They were last series’,” Saskia replied, and the screen showed a brief montage: them at the altar and then on the sofa wearing their Unity Jumpers, “We celebrate success here.”

They briefly played our wedding, and the toast and Stuart started when he saw Terri commence it. “You got hit by her too?” she laughed, and he nodded. She paused and mused, “Soy Senorita Zorro?”

“Ella es Senorita Comadreja,” I laughed correcting her, though nobody understood apart from her. “Zorro... yes!” I laughed, making the Z slashing sign that Antonio Banderas did in the films as Stuart mused and dug deep in his cultural memory, but it hit nobody. Everyone too young for that film! I snarled inwardly. “Antoniooo Banderrrasss?” I cooed to bait, and she smiled.

“Not bad, so’s CZJ,” [Catherine Zeta Jones] Stuart cottoned on, and Sid and Jo laughed, finally getting it as an idea formed in my head.

“How are you two?” Joelle asked.

We looked at each other and I nodded. “‘To earn your respect and trust is a privilege’ was Sarah’s Toast to us: the more I know about Annie, the truer I realise it is. I’m slowly gaining that.”

She looked at me and I gently tapped his ankle with my toe, “You’ve missed one thing,” I snarled at him, and she was shocked, “Admiratiooon,” I cooed as I fluttered my eyelashes at him to laughter and his foot rubbed my leg to laughs as she got the gag, and Sid just raised his eyebrows.

“Dare we ask about intimacy?” Sid answered as his peers laughed, though most of the couples had forgotten A&S’ shoot-downs and dodges. Again, I wanted Stuart to lead.

“The wise tread carefully, the foolish rush,” he quoted and shrugged smiling and leaving it hanging.

“We did have a surprise,” I deadpanned as Sid peered intently.

“Pleasant one,” Stuart stated and shrugged as we remembered the Tube Pop incident. “We’re wise,” he closed that off.

“Anything on the honeymoon?” Joelle asked.

“You played very dirty with The Boys,” he laughed though nobody got it.

“I did,” I shrugged, and she did a beckoning gesture.

“Making Sacha and the crew eat with us. They really didn’t want to do that,” he laughed.

“It’s rude to eat while others watch and even ruder to make those poor boys enviously starve,” I shrugged, and he rubbed my hand.

“Going out onto a cold runway plane spotting wasn’t your idea of romantic?” I laughed and wondered why Joelle pursed her lips did she think it was? I wondered and he repeated last night’s comments. Again, she cooed, though Sid and Saskia seemed to be mulling that one.

Then we were released, and the other couples had their turns, though none had their weddings showed. It was sad that one couple delivered a Stay-Go decision, we hoped that The Experts could help with their situation and that they’d stay, and several couples got a fairly good going-over.

At the post-filming buffet, Edward asked about my conversation with Saskia: “Who is Miss something?” as the others looked on, also curious about our obscure, foreign exchange.

“Comadreja means Weasel in Spanish,” I informed. “She is the flower girl. Her mum is a pilot and her callsign is Weasel. The Experts met her at Andy and Sarah’s wedding,” I laughed as news of that run-in had spread fast, though thankfully everyone was laughing about it.

“Dog, Weasel, Bat, Cen: I thought I was surrounded by pilots at our wedding,” Stuart shrugged, omitting mine, and they were piqued. “You said she’s got the characteristics of her aunt and mother, and it’s true,” Stuart laughed, “For her age, she’s very wise and so smart and she surprises you nicely with it,” as he remembered the videos, though he paused on nicely, again deciding that her threat was in jest. Sometimes she does jump you and then you smile I mused. “Zorro means Fox, and Zorro is a Great American Story: sort of like Robin Hood. You’re going to hit up Sarah and her mum about naming her?” he asked, and I nodded though they took time to wonder why we’d give a girl a callsign.

“Bat and Cen aren’t flyers: they got their Tags as we call them because they’ve earned them,” I elaborated and they twigged, still unsure that she was deserving, though I knew that Bex and Sarah would jump hard in favour and that Weasel and David would sagely nod.  We’d have fun trying to decide when and how to award it as there was a large number of people wanting to be there.

“Now I really know why you wanted Patagonia: I remember their video,” Emmaline acknowledged, and we nodded, remembering that the shown video paled in comparison with the one I’d shown him.

“In life, sometimes you make brand new memories, sometimes build on existing ones. Neither of us are runners, so we had a more relaxed time!” Stuart laughed.

Alana enviously asked whether we’d already got a deal with this ASTER brand. Stuart and I laughed, and we stored that, thinking they should do an Etsy store with their talent.

By now, we were tired, and we snuggled when we were on the bus with the couples, just relaxing and listening to their banter, though some of it was, sadly, score-settling again.

The only cloud on the horizon was Sacha telling us that there might be an actors' strike in the offing and that The Experts are Equity members, so if it occurred, production would be shut down until the strike was over.

We were relieved to be finally back at our room and, once they’d finished filming us, it was time for our customary undressing kiss. We started our usual unbutton as we kissed, then he dropped my dress, and I helped him shed his shirt and then trousers. The newer part now came as he reached behind me again and released my bra and I bent back to continue our kiss as his hands slid my bra off and caressed me before we tightened again.

I put my hands on his hips, “Shower,” I whispered into our kiss, and he nodded, though his hands were now on my hips. I playfully put my thumb inside his pants’ waistband and continued our kiss and he reciprocated the gesture, not wanting to push too far. While I would have liked a little more push, I was also happy that he wasn’t pushing too fast and preferred to make me want a bit more rather than feel muscled, though I definitely and approvingly felt his muscle.

“Shower,” I again whispered and moved my thumb horizontally inside as we continued making out and he reciprocated. I moved my thumb down slightly and he kissed me slightly harder and pressed down too, good move I thought as we continued and soon I saw his bare attraction as mine started to become visible. He looked embarrassed at me seeing it, “I’ve seen them before. And given our age, I’m glad it is how it is,” I giggled and kissed him harder as we became naked for the first time, and I felt his bare crotch touch mine and we continued making out.

He led me to the shower and turned it on, letting the water caress or naked bodies as we held tight making out. Still Frenching, our hands roamed naked backs, all the way down this time, then we bent backwards and still kissing, we washed down fronts though not going to those bits. I felt every movement of his fingers on my naked body, and I gently and pleasurably moaned. Then we turned off the water and he playfully licked my breasts, sending pleasant shocks up them when his tongue caressed my nipples. Finally, we towelled off together, though again doing our own bits and finally, we walked out, turning off the lights and collapsed under the duvet with me on top as we nakedly kissed into sleep.