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AWAKENING I

"The fact is, I'm doing something I shouldn't"

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CHAPTER ICould Masturbation Really Be A Sin?

Emma and I had known each other since we were kids. We met at Sunday School at St Paul’s Cathedral, our local church. We attended Confirmation Classes together and later joined the youth group, the Fellowship Of St George. In our early teens we were invited by the Dean, Father James McLean, to become Alter Servers, helping officiate during services.

Emma was a pretty girl about five foot six with shoulder length brown hair, freckles and beautiful almond shaped brown eyes. If anything she was a little on the chubby side but I quite liked that because it seemed to emphasise her largish breasts. I’d never considered Emma anything other than a good friend because she was a year or so older than me and seemed rather prim and proper.

When I turned seventeen, being a senior member of the youth group, I was invited to join Emma as a leader of the Fellowship group. Our job was to organise and co-ordinate Friday night meetings at the old church hall. We got to know one another so well over this time, I decided to confide in her, to ask her advice about something that had been troubling me for a long time.

The problem began years earlier when I arrived home from school to find a booklet on the end of my bed. I guess my parents thought, having turned fourteen, it was an appropriate time for me to learn about sexuality.

The booklet, called ‘The Facts Of Life - Sex Education For Boys’, only consisted of a couple of dozen pages of text and a few basic illustrations. I closed my bedroom door, sat on my bed and began flicking through the contents. It didn’t take long to realise there wasn’t much I wasn’t already aware of. I mean boys will be boys.

The exception though, was a page devoted to masturbation. I was surprised to see it mentioned at all because I’d considered masturbation to be a secret thing, something done behind closed doors. It certainly wasn’t something I’d have expected to find in print.

I read and re-read the chapter trying to make sense of it. And the more I read the more it unsettled me. The booklet implied masturbation was sinful and that if you indulged enough, it would become an ‘iron chain’ habit, impossible to break. It suggested it had potentially damaging consequences later in life.

To say I was concerned was an understatement because I was masturbating all the time. To make matters worse, I couldn’t talk to anyone because that would have been an admission I was a serial sinner. I realised there was only one thing I could do, and that was to stop, or at the very least, to cut back. But it didn’t take long to realise the author of the booklet was right, I couldn’t stop doing it, I was addicted. Perhaps, if I hadn't been so involved with the church, I could have lived with it. But knowing I was sinning every day made life very difficult.

So that’s how my journey with Emma Stevens began. One Friday night after a Fellowship meeting at our local church hall... the night I decided to ask her advice about my problem. What I didn't realise at the time, was that it would be the start of a journey neither of us would forget.

It was about nine thirty and just before we locked up for the night, I decided to bite the bullet and talk to her. "Hey Emma, can I ask you something?"

“Sure,” She said.

We walked into the anteroom off the kitchen and she sat on the old three seater vinyl lounge. She patted the seat beside her and invited me to sit down.

"Okay, so what’s on your mind?"

"It’s a bit embarrassing," I said.

"Hey Tony, we know each other well enough now to be able to share things.”

"Yeah Emma, but this is different."

"Why?"

"Well, the fact is I’m doing something I shouldn’t."

"What’s that?"

I told her about the booklet and the chapter on masturbation. I told her how much it worried me because the book said it was sinful and harmful. Emma looked at me and I could see she was shocked, unsure how to respond.

"Maybe You should speak to Father McLean about it Tony."

"Speak to the Dean?" Astonished she would suggest it.

“You'd be surprised," Emma said, “both he and Erin are extremely understanding."

"Yeah, but surely not about that sort of thing?”

"I’ve talked to Erin a lot about very personal things.”

"You mean about sex?”

“Yes!” She said. “As I said earlier, they both have open minds to sexuality."

“I couldn't ask Father McLean, Emma. I'd be much too embarrassed. It's taken me ages to build up the courage to talk to you.”

After another pause she said, "I really don’t know what to say Tony, except that it’s not just you. I mean almost everyone does it. If masturbation is a sin, then we're all guilty of it.

"So you're telling me your guilty of it too?" I asked.

“I guess I am. What made you think I wouldn’t do it too?"

"I never really thought about girls masturbating. I mean my mates do it, but girls?”

"Well, as you know I’m an only child. But a few years ago Mum helped an old school-friend out and allowed her sixteen year old son Timothy to board with us for a while. They were from the bush and he was a promising runner, so she wanted him to get proper training. And that was how I found out that boys do it because I caught him a couple of times. In a strange way, catching him helped me a lot too.”

“How?”

“Well, the first time was about two years ago when I walked into his bedroom late one night to borrow a CD. I didn’t knock before going in and, while it was the wrong thing to do, I wasn’t thinking about him doing that. Anyway, he was lying on his bed naked, you know, stroking his penis.”

“What did he do?”

“He was really miffed. Very angry! He didn’t speak to me for a week or so. And from then on he started locking his door.”

“How did you feel about seeing him doing it?”

“It’s a bit embarrassing to say this, but it really turned me on. Sometimes at night I’d fool around with myself in bed thinking about it. It felt really nice playing around but nothing dramatic happened. You know, back then I didn't even know it was possible to have an orgasm. It wasn't something they taught at school." Emma said with a laugh.

I smiled and nodded in agreement.

"I had to learn the hard way, by trial and error.”

"How?"

“Well, one Saturday morning Mum was getting ready to take Timmy to one of his athletics carnivals. She asked me if I could do the washing while she was away. We were in the kitchen when she suddenly realised they were running late, so she asked me to go and give Timmy a hurry up.

“I went to his bedroom door and it was closed, I didn't dare go in so I knocked and called out to him to hurry. He didn’t answer so I knocked again, harder this time, and told him Mum was getting angry. A few minutes later he flung the door open and pushed past me, slamming it behind him. He was really annoyed! At the time I had no idea why he was so pissed, if you'll excuse the expression. I mean it was early on a Saturday morning so it didn’t occur to me he'd be… you know."

“So what did you do?"

"A few moments later I heard them leave so I went into his room to get his dirty clothes. I found a pile on the floor, and when I went to pick them up, I noticed something under his bed. I reached under and slid it out. It was a magazine, with a handkerchief on top.

"I flicked the magazine open and it was one of those ones with naked girls showing everything all through it."

"Holy cow," I said, "what did you do with it."

Emma laughed and said, "No Tony, you can’t have it."

"Anyway, I picked up the handkerchief by the corner to add to the wash and noticed it was very wet."

"Wet?"

"Yeah! Then it suddenly dawned on me what it was."

"I think I can guess."

“Yes, you probably guessed right. I couldn't believe it. I realised that while I was knocking on his door, he’d been looking at the magazine and masturbating. It explained why he was so annoyed, and why it took him so long to open the door. I’d interrupted him at the wrong time. I sat down on his bed in disbelief at first. But curiosity got the better of me and, having never seen semen before, I opened the handkerchief to take a look. It was saturated and I dipped my finger in to feel it.”

“And?” I said.

“I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what its like. So I lifted the handkerchief up to my nose to have a smell and was surprised at how nice it was, a sort of sweet musty odour.

“I sat down on his bed and couldn’t stop thinking of him stroking his dick. So I lay back and put the handkerchief over my face to take in that sexy odour. I was so turned-on by the whole thing I started touching myself. But as I said, I’d fooled around with myself plenty of times in the past but always stopped before anything happened. This time though, I was so worked up I kept going until… well, until I had my first orgasm.

“It blew me away. I’d never felt anything like it - the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced. I’d read about it and heard girls talk about it, but nothing I’d read or heard prepared me for what it was actually like… I’m sure you know what I mean."

Listening to Emma's story had me so horny, I was ready to burst. I actually thought of excusing myself and going to the toilet for some quick hand relief but thought better of it.

I finally said, "I do know what you mean Em. That's exactly why I haven’t been able to stop."

"I mean once you’ve experienced the pleasure, that amazing feeling, there’s no going back is there? So," she said, "I fully get why you kept doing it, even after you read that dreadful booklet."

"Gee Em!" I said, “I’d never have guessed.”

"I can't believe I'm telling you all this Tony, but like you, I do it all the time now."

"So you’re going to hell too," I said with a laugh.

"I hope not. But ever since that time, I’ve had this thing about guys masturbating."

"In what way?"

"It's hard to explain, but thinking about Timmy’s semen soaked handkerchief gets me so hot,” She said, “I fantasise about it all the time now.

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There’s nothing I'd like more than to watch a guy doing it from start to finish."

"There must have been someone. What about a boyfriend?"

"I really haven’t gone out with many boys, but last year I met a guy at university and he was always wanting me to do it to him. He was a real creep though and we split up. But if I had the opportunity with the right person…"

Emma looked over at me with a huge grin, and it suddenly dawned on me what she was thinking.

“Are you talking about me?" I asked.

"Why not?" She said, “I definitely think you’re the right person.”

"You want me to do it for you?" I asked.

"Why not?" She said again with a very cheeky grin.

The truth was, after hearing her story, I could have dropped my pants and jerked myself off there and then. I was worked up and confused. One side was thinking how good it would be to have her watch me, while the other was thinking don't be such a fool.

"Are you serious about this Em?" I asked, "I mean I’d love to but it all seems so…”

She cut me off mid sentence, “You bet I’m serious Tony, I’ve never told you this before but I like you a lot more than you realise. And I have for some time.”

“Em, I’ve always liked you too. But I’ve never thought of you...”

“Well, maybe this might change your mind." She said cutting me off. “How about I check the front door is locked?"

As horny as I was, in the few moments she was gone I started to have serious doubts. I wondered if I could go through with it. But just as my concerns were getting the better of me, Emma returned and announced, "Okay, I’ve locked the door."

She walked over and stood directly in front of me. "

"So what now?"

"Give me your hand!" She said.

She lifted the front of her knee length tartan skirt and placed my hand between her legs. Her panties were thin and I could feel the heat radiating from her vulva. I knew she was aroused because she was quite wet. Things were pretty frantic for me too, I’d never been in a situation like this with a girl before so, unsure how to proceed, I tried to slip my fingers inside the leg of her panties, to slip them into her hot wet vagina.

"Hold on!" She said, and slipped her panties off. "Try now!"

I did, and this time I slipped two fingers deep into her hot wet cunt. The experience was so intense I thought I was going to cum in my pants. I was dizzy with excitement.

My cock was straining against my jeans so I reached into the front of them to try and re-position it. Emma, realising my predicament said, "Come on Tony stand up and take them off."

As I stood, Emma sat on the couch in front of me. She reached over and unfastened my jeans, pulling them apart at the waist, letting them fall to the floor. I stepped out of them and kicked them free. Emma reached over and took hold of my cock through my undies, there was a huge wet spot of pre-cum at the front.

"Gee Tony, you’re so wet!"

It’s strange really, the effect sexual arousal has on inhibitions. Even though the situation seemed bizarre, I desperately needed relief. I took hold of my shaft and squeezed from the base to the head. And as I did a huge bead of pre-cum emerged from the slit. I dipped my finger in the bubble of clear viscous fluid and spread it over the head of my cock, leaving it glistening in the fluorescent light.

I started stroking slowly and as I did I realised how close I was to cumming. I glanced at Emma and she was totally focused on what I was doing. "I don’t think it’ll take me long, Emma!"

She didn’t answer, I doubt she even heard what I said.

I stroked a little faster and suddenly I felt my seminal fluid move into my urethral bulb. It was the signal that I was close. I pumped a little faster and the pleasurable sensation in my groin quickly grew in intensity. I was right on the edge of cumming. I glanced down at Emma again and she was wide eyed, watching every stroke.

Then the ecstasy… the intense pleasure... sooner than usual it seemed, centred deep inside my cock. My head was swimming with euphoria, "Oh Emma!" I moaned, "Here it is, I’m going to cum!"

I suddenly realised I was about to ejaculate on her, so I turned away just as the first rope of semen exploded from the eye of my cock. It shot past her right arm splattering on the back of the couch. I swung further away as contraction after contraction expelled more creamy cum. I was amazed how loud it seemed, thudding onto the timber floor. I closed my eyes, oblivious to my surroundings, and abandoned myself to the pleasure.

Emma was mesmerised, watching my cum dripping from my cock into a pool between my legs. Splat! Splat! She seemed in a trance like state, eyes wide, mouth open, staring at my semen on the floor. The furthest spray, was maybe five feet away. There were four or five more at varying distances, finishing in a pool between my legs.

Emma raised her hand to her mouth in disbelief, "I had no idea!" she said.

"About what Em?" I asked nervously.

"How far it goes," she said softly, "it comes out with so much force. God, no wonder girls get pregnant!"

Suddenly reality struck like a blow to the back of my head. Standing there, naked from the waist down, with pools of my semen on the floor, I felt vulnerable and self-conscious and wished the ground would open up and swallow me. But as I turned to apologise, I was surprised to find Emma with her legs spread wide, dress hitched up, fingers playing a merry tune on her cunt. She’s masturbating! Any feelings of remorse I’d had, instantly vanished.

I was amazed as I watched as Emma use the middle finger of her right hand to massage what looked like, to me at least, a tiny penis. It was a strange looking appendage, maybe an inch long or a bit less, that protruded from the top of her labia.

Emma was totally engrossed in her pleasure, occasionally she would stop the rubbing and begin to stroke the shaft of her penis like appendage with two fingers, much the way I stroke my cock when I masturbate. At other times she would plunge her fingers deep into her love hole. Oh this is so fucking hot! I thought to myself.

She increased the tempo and as she did she began a slow and rhythmic thrusting of her hips. Suddenly she lifted her buttocks off the couch and began a more vigorous rubbing, her hand working frantically between her legs, her breathing coming in gasps. Emma threw her head back, “Oh God!" She said in a guttural tone as her thrusting intensified. It was obvious to me, a novice at this sort of thing, she was about to climax. "Aggghhhh! Oh my God… Oh, Oh… Oh… God… YESSSS!"

Emma’s eyes were staring, her tongue flicking, moistening her parched lips. Her expression could easily have been mistaken for pain. But it soon became obvious, as she rolled onto her side and clamped her legs tightly on her hand, she was immersed in the pleasure of orgasm.

It was as if the world had stopped, I’d become so absorbed in Emma I’d completely lost track of reality. I was mesmerised. Watching Emma recovering from her climax was like watching someone recover from a seizure. As her rocking slowed, she rolled onto her back and looked up at me… seeing me for the first time in minutes. She smiled. It was hard to say if her smile was one of satisfaction or one of amusement at the sight of me stroking my cock again.

It was all too much for me. Watching Emma surrender herself to her pleasure, witnessing her abandon every vestige of modesty took me over the top again, I was well on my way to a second orgasm. I closed my eyes as the pleasure flooded through me for the second time that night. "Oh Em… here it is again. I’m going to cum!” And as the words escaped my lips, I pumped another load of hot lava onto the timber floor.

We looked at one another in silence for some time. Finally Emma smiled and beckoned me to join her on the couch. We embraced and kissed passionately, tongues exploring each other's mouth. At that moment I’d never felt such contentment, never felt such affection for anyone.

Finally Emma broke the silence, jolting me back to reality. "Heavens," she said, "we'd better clean this mess up," nodding towards the floor. I glanced down and was shocked to see how much semen was pooled on the timber floor boards. It was everywhere. We looked at one another and laughed.

We dressed without another word and after wiping the floor with paper towel, we turned out the lights and locked up. We embraced again in the doorway and I whispered, "Can we do this again sometime?"

Emma smiled and nodded and my heart skipped a beat.

.......................................
Firstly, thanks for dropping by. For me writing isn’t about being clever, it’s about escaping into a world where anything goes. A world where there are no taboos, no limitations.
Much of what I’ve written in the following chapters is fiction however there are threads of real events and truths woven into them. It’s where I get my inspiration. 
I hope you’ll enjoy the story, it covers a lot of ground. Please let me know your thoughts.
..................................................
It seems that the first person narrative is more common in erotic fiction that other genres. And for whatever reason I tend to write from that point of view. It seems more intimate and I’m able to submerge myself into the story, into the action. 
If you read on to other chapters you’ll realise I find it difficult to categorise my stories. The fact is they might include titbits of Taboo, Straight, Gay, they might touch on all sorts of genre’s.
All names and places have been changed and any resemblance or similarity to persons either living or dead is purely co-incidental. 
Chapter II coming soon...


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Written by Tellerman
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