Chapter Sixty-Five

Grace sat up in bed and noticed that something had caught the cat’s attention. She heaved a heavy sigh as she watched a little bird land on the table on the other side of the glass doors that led to the terrace. Clearly, the bird knew how to fly, but for some reason, it kept hopping around on the table in circles. She laughed ironically, feeling a strange connection to the winged creature. Much like the bird, she felt as though she was hopping along, muddling through, without any clear direction.

It had been three weeks since she’d lost the baby, and she was struggling to get back to normal, acutely aware of the wedge driven between her and Mac by his hurtful accusation that she wasn’t wrecked about the death of their child. And though he had apologized profusely, and she had forgiven Mac for claiming she was not sorry about the miscarriage, it still stung a bit to know he could say something like that, even if it were his deep sorrow talking.

Adding to her misery was that, for the first time in a very long time, her libido was practically non-existent. Then again, she seemed unable to find interest or joy in anything, which was frustrating and made her feel like a bad wife and mother. And it made her wonder if her marriage was in trouble. What if she never wanted to have sex again? How could a man like McKinley Stewart want to stay with a woman who was suddenly repulsed by the idea of a good, hard fuck?

Dr. Francis and the grief counselor both assured her that the way she was feeling wouldn’t last forever, but in the meantime, it sucked.

The hardest part of all this was knowing that Mac was hurting inside and pretending hard not to show it. He’d been so remorseful over his words that he was falling over himself to make it up to Grace by being the doting husband.

So, she’d allowed him to take care of her because she knew he needed to feel like he was making things right. But she was starting to feel like she was suffocating under all of his well-intentioned pampering.

“Breakfast in bed for my beautiful bride,” Mac said in an ingenuously cheery voice, holding a tray with a massive pile of scrambled eggs and bacon, fruit salad, roasted potatoes, and several pieces of toast.”

“That’s way too much, Mac,” she said, eyeing the plate that was nearly invisible under the mound of food.

Mac frowned, visibly annoyed, his strong façade fading away. “No one said you had to eat all of it, Grace. Feel free to pick at it as you have for days and waste whatever you won’t eat.”

“I wouldn’t waste it if you wouldn’t put so much on the plate,” she countered. “I’m not trying to be difficult here…”

“No, not difficult; just ungrateful,” Mac said curtly, rolling his eyes.

“Really? You want to pick a fight over breakfast? In that case, no one said you had to keep bringing me breakfast in bed, McKinley.”

“That’s what I get for trying to be a thoughtful, caring husband.”

“You’re absolutely smothering me with your thoughtful, caring routine, and we both know you are just as sad and angry as I am!”

Their voices got louder as a full-blown argument ensued. Merlin, who’d been curled up at the foot of the bed, took this as his cue to hightail it out of there.

There was a knock on the open doorframe, followed by a stern clearing of his throat by Bentley.

Grace and Mac looked in his direction and were surprised when he scolded them.

“You may not realize it, but your voices carry. Perhaps you could close your door if you feel the need to have such a loud disagreement,” he said bluntly.

“I didn’t come in here expecting my wife to be so disagreeable,” Mac answered gruffly.

“As a man who has been married a very long time, I will say it’s rare that any couple intends to argue. Instead of sniping at each other, maybe this would be a good time for you to both go to separate corners and wait to continue this conversation until cooler heads prevail.”

Mac was pissed. “No offense, Bentley, but it’s not your place to tell me what to do. I hardly see that this is any of your business.”

Bentley raised an eyebrow. “It becomes my business, sir, when it affects this household of which I am most certainly charged with running. When the staff can hear you three floors down, it is my place to say something,” he said sternly.

Grace was mortified. “I’m so sorry, Bentley. It’s my fault. I’m struggling, and I raised my voice first. You’re right, it can’t be comfortable for the staff to hear us fighting. We’ll do better to keep it down or wait until after staff have gone for the day to have our loud discussions.”

Bentley looked at Grace and nodded. “It’s fine, my dear. But I also don’t want the children to hear you and misunderstand. They are getting old enough to worry when their parents sound angry.”

Mac eased off and apologized as well. “I’m sorry for speaking so rudely. If it affects the household, you have every right to confront me. If you would close the door, please. I think we can continue our discussion more calmly.”

Bentley raised an eyebrow again, but then he nodded and left the room. Once the door was closed, Mac turned to Grace and said, “I’m sorry for barking at you like that, Grace. I just…”

“I get it. You’re hurting, too. We both have such a large amount of grief and anger and sadness, and no idea what to do with such big emotions. And while the counseling has helped us not feel guilty about losing the baby, it’s still really difficult to find our way back to normal. We’ve spent most of our marriage in a happy little bubble, and we are used to working through the bumps along the road much more quickly. This is different. This is…”

“This is hard on both of us. Thanks for acknowledging that I am feeling all of these same feelings as you are.”

“People forget that both parents lose a child when there is a miscarriage. It can seem like your feelings don’t matter as much, but they do, babe. We need to remember that we are in this together.”

Mac nodded.

Grace took his hands in hers and continued, “I know part of you still thinks that I didn’t want this baby. And that somehow, that should make my sadness easier to overcome. But while I felt ill-prepared to have another baby right now, I feel a deep loss and incredible anger that I was cheated out of the chance to show you I was getting used to the idea and was totally on board. How could I not love and want another child with you? Losing this baby was devastating.”

Mac put his arms around Grace and pulled her into him. He held her for the longest time, saying absolutely nothing. No words seemed necessary now. Their world had been turned upside down, but they still had each other, their beautiful kids, and this amazing life together.

Eventually, he kissed the top of her head and said, “I’m sorry I got so angry. You’re right. I’ve been looking at this as a you problem instead of an us ordeal. It helps to hear that you wanted this baby. But I also understand that doesn’t mean you want to jump right back in and get pregnant right away.”

“I’m sorry if I seemed ungrateful. I’ve been trying to let you take care of me, but I have to be honest. I need to start doing more for myself if I’m ever going to recover emotionally.”

Mac nodded and paused for a moment. Then he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Then I think you should come back to work, Grace.”

“You do? Really? I mean, yes, I want to come back to work, I just thought you’d say I wasn’t ready…”

“You’re ready, and I hate to admit it, but I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that I’ve been struggling to handle things without you. I somehow managed to run my company without you for years. But…”

“But your company, our company, is much larger than it was before, babe. Thank you, Mac, for making it your idea. It’s a really good one.” She smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. “Since you’re here, why don’t you help me share this mountain of food with me? Then, I’ll shower, get dressed, and head down to the office.”

“I could eat,” Mac said, nodding.

Although the hurt and anger still lingered just beneath the surface, they both felt this was a good step toward regaining normalcy. At least they hoped so.

Chapter Sixty-Six

Mac took the elevator to the business level and stopped by Avery’s desk on his way to his office.

“Heads up, Avery,” Mac said. “Grace is coming back to work today.”

“Oh? Well, that’s good to hear. I’m sure it will be a good distraction for her. How are you holding up, sir?”

“Sir?” Mac laughed. “It’s been a while since we’ve been that formal, Avery. But thanks for asking. I’m, uh, I’m doing okay. I think having Grace back to work will help us both start moving forward. It’s been… I didn’t expect to be…”

“I’ve obviously never lost a child, Mac. But I imagine it must be one of the most devastating things to endure. Fortunately, you and Grace have one of the strongest marriages I’ve ever seen. Still, I’m sure it will take time for life to seem back on track again.”

“You’re very astute, Avery. Thank you.”

Mac went into his office and closed the door. He had plenty of work to do and was getting a later start to the day than he’d planned. Still, it was good that he’d taken time to eat with Grace. It had almost felt normal.

An hour later, he heard Grace’s voice talking to Avery. He nearly went out to see if she was okay, but decided not to make a fuss. Instead, he picked up his cell phone and sent her a text message.

Welcome back. I love you.

A few minutes passed before he received her reply.

Who is this?

Instantly, his mind went back to when she’d done the same thing in the early days when they were in Europe, and it made him smile.

Very funny, Mrs. Stewart. I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.

I missed you, too. I’m sorry we fought this morning. But I think it was good to let some of that anger out. I feel lighter. Or I would feel lighter if I hadn’t consumed a massive amount of breakfast.

Sorry. I tend to overdo things when it comes to you. I promise to scale back your rations, Grace.

Don’t be sorry. Your heart was in the right place.

Thanks. You forgive me so easily. I’m a fortunate man.

We are both lucky. Oh, and Mac? I love you, too.

About ten minutes later, Grace’s phone buzzed again.

What are you wearing?

She laughed so loud that Mac could hear her through both of their doors. Her laughter was music to his ears, and he was happy that he’d gotten the intended result.

Sorry, perv, but nothing sexy. Just navy slacks and a cream-colored blouse.

Panties?

Unfortunately, yes. I’m not sure if I’m done spotting. Sorry, that’s so unsexy.

No worries. How about a date tonight on our bedroom terrace?

Mac, I can’t. I’m sorry, I’m just not ready.

Not ready for Claudette’s pie and an incredible foot massage? I just need time with you, Gracie. I miss you. I miss us.

Grace felt her bottom lip quiver. She remembered Dr. Francis reminding her that intimacy was not just about sex.

Well, throw in brushing my hair, and you’ve got a date.

You drive a hard bargain, baby, but you’re on.

Thanks! I’m looking forward to it.

Me, too. And I promise, no funny stuff. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.

She felt a twinge of guilt that she didn’t respond as she normally would have by expressing her disappointment at no funny stuff. But she truly had zero interest in sex at the moment, and that worried her. Dr. Francis said it would take time, but the longer she went without sex, the less she seemed to care about it.

With half a laugh, she realized that her relationship with Mac started with him taking sex out of the equation. Then it blossomed into something beautiful. That he was willing to do so again made her feel truly loved and understood.

Chapter Sixty-Seven

The afternoon raced by as Grace caught up on emails and voicemails, then reviewed the reports from Stewart Enterprises' European branches. Things seemed to be going smoothly, which she was grateful for. She expected to feel overwhelmed, but instead, she was invigorated. Returning to work had been the perfect cure to budge her out of her funk.

At 4:30 p.m., Mac poked his head into Grace’s office. “Hey, how was your first day back?”

She stood up, moved to him, and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for knowing exactly what I needed.”

“Most women would love to take time off from work and lounge around being waited on hand and foot. But my wife needs her brain stimulated. I’m sorry I didn’t suggest you come back sooner.”

“You were trying to take care of me, and I appreciate that.”

“Sometimes it takes me a bit to see what it is you really need. I love you, Grace. I’m still so damned sorry about the things I said. I never meant to hurt you. I…”

“I’m sorry too,” Grace interrupted.

Mac pulled her into a tighter embrace and kissed the top of her head. “I’ve missed this, baby. I’ve missed you… missed us.”

“Me too. I’m still not ready for sex. But I’m excited about our date later.”

“Sex with you is worth the wait. But this? Holding you? Having my partner back? This is priceless, baby. My world has felt off-kilter lately, but I feel a whole lot steadier with you in my arms.”

“Mine does, too.”

“Let’s go grab the kids from Claudette and have pizza for dinner,” Mac said. “Then, after they go to bed, we can head out to the terrace and have some Dutch apple pie under the moonlight.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Claudette was pleased to see both parents come to collect their kids from her. She debated saying something, but thought it best just to smile and give Grace a quick hug.

That evening, after tucking the kids in, Grace found a note on the chair in her sitting room.

Darling Grace,

Since I fully intend to make you relax, why don’t you get ready for bed before you join me outside? That way, after I make your feet feel like heaven with my expert massage and brush your hair till your bones feel like limp noodles, you can just slide into bed. To sleep.

Yours always,

Mac

Grace smiled. He’d taken the time to write a note, not just text her. He was making the effort to give her what she needed. Well, she could make the effort too.

She stripped off her clothes and donned the black-and-emerald nightgown that was Mac’s favorite. Because she was hesitant to make him think this was an invitation to ravish her, she threw on her plush burgundy bathrobe over the nightwear and added a comfy pair of matching slippers. That way, she could decide if and when to remove the robe.

When she entered the bedroom, she saw that the door to the terrace was open, so she figured Mac must already be outside. As she stepped through the French doors, she saw the flickering of dozens of candles spread across the terrace and felt a rush of emotions bubble to the surface.

When he turned to look at her, she felt her pulse quicken. He stood still, staring at her, making her feel things she hadn’t felt in weeks. How was that possible? How was seeing him out here, like this, any different than seeing him just an hour ago? Or every single day for the past several weeks? Had she forgotten to look at Mac like this— as the man she loved more than anyone else in the world?

Regret tempted to ruin the moment, but he moved to her and took her face in his hands and rescued the feeling before she could douse it in flames of remorse over wasted time.

“How is it possible that you grow more beautiful every day, my love?” he asked softly as he gazed intently into her eyes. “I don’t want you to worry about anything except enjoying the moment, okay?”

She nodded, and he kissed her softly. Just that gentle brush of his lips against hers made her sigh.

“Come have a seat so I can start using my magical hands on those tired feet. I imagine wearing dress shoes after weeks of slippers and socks has made them extra achy. I’ve got just the thing to make them feel better.”

He sat across from her and slid her house shoes off her feet one at a time, as if removing delicate glass slippers. If he noticed the material from her nightgown peeking out from under her robe, he gave nothing away. He merely took one foot in his hand and coated it with her favorite peppermint foot balm. Starting with her heel, he began to knead it vigorously, making her eyes roll back in her head.

“Oh, my God, this feels good, Mac.”

He murmured a pleased sound and continued, using his thumbs to work out the ache in her arch. Moving to the ball of her foot, he dug his knuckles in, making her sigh, and he finished off the first foot by gently tugging on each toe. Resisting the temptation to work his way up her calf, he switched to the other foot and took pleasure in knowing Grace seemed genuinely happy and relaxed. He’d been off his game for a while, but her moans were a clear indication that he was back on track. Making Grace feel good was making him feel good too, even if there was nothing sexual about the foot massage.

“Ready for some hair brushing, my love?” he asked, his voice giving away his foolish pleasure at being right about what his wife needed most.

“Oh, God, yes!”

Although his mind went to different places about what else could and had been done with that brush, he’d given his word he would be a gentleman. So, he wiped off his hands, moved his chair behind her, and helped move her hair out from beneath the robe. As he brushed, she sighed, then moaned, then purred.

Chapter Sixty-Eight

When he was sure she would slide off the chair if she were any more relaxed, he grinned, leaned in, and whispered in her ear, “Ready for that dessert now?”

He froze for a moment when she said nothing, realizing he’d used their euphemism for sex, and hoped she didn’t get the wrong idea.

Turning to face him, Grace looked at him with misty eyes, “I believe you meant pie, but I wonder if I could convince you to make out with me instead. I’m not sure if I’m ready for sex, but I have this incredibly powerful desire to kiss my husband.”

Mac was both stunned and overjoyed. After weeks of no real intimacy, she was showing interest. “I’m here to take care of whatever it is you need. Pie can wait.”

He let her make the first move, let her direct the pace, as their lips met. It was soft and sweet at first, until Grace grabbed the back of his head and kissed him so passionately it took his breath away.

When she came up for air, Mac laughed softly. “I guess you really did have a strong urge to kiss me. You’ll get no complaints from me, in case you want to do that again, darling.”

She rose from her chair, and for a moment, Mac was worried he’d said something wrong. But the look on her face was mischievous. Without a word, she untied the sash of the robe, let it slide off her shoulders, and dropped it to the ground.

Mac stood before her, drinking in the sight of her wearing the first nightgown he’d ever seen her in. It annoyed him that, for a moment, he thought back to his ex-fiancée, Louise, and how he’d never seen her in the same gown twice. But it was his brain’s way of reminding him that one of the things he loved most about Grace was how she didn’t take being wealthy for granted. Focusing back on Grace, it occurred to him that she’d put this black-and-emerald gown on, knowing that he loved it on her and allowing for the chance that his efforts might put her in the mood for something more than just pie. Love flooded in and overwhelmed him. Despite how deeply he’d hurt her with his angry words, she’d found it in her heart to forgive him and move past that to rebuild trust and desire.

“I love you, Grace. I’m sorry we’ve struggled, I…”

“Shhh… just kiss me, Mac. Just play this by ear with me and see where it takes us.”

“I’m happy to oblige, darling,” he said, feeling the weight of all the distress and turmoil lifting off his shoulders as their lips met again.

It was as though time stood still and that nothing around them existed while their tongues danced. He let his hands roam freely, and she did the same, as their bodies responded from memory.

While he kissed his way down her neck, she nipped playfully at his ear. Not wanting to rush things, he took his time, nuzzling her breasts before taking a chance and capturing a nipple through the lacy material. He repeated the act with her other nipple, encouraged by her needy whimpering.

“If I’m moving too fast, tell me to slow down, Grace,” he said.

“Don’t you dare!”

It was all he needed to hear to make him hard and throbbing. Oh, how he ached to ravish her, but this seduction was too sweet to be rushed. Still, since she’d made it clear she wanted more, his hand moved between her legs. His fingers teased her through the emerald satin, making her breathing raw and ragged.

“Mac. I need… Oh, God…”

At that moment, it began to drizzle, but he knew stopping was not an option. Her body was on fire; to break the momentum would surely break the magic, and he knew she needed release. He’d taken care of his needs solo several times, but he was fairly certain she hadn’t cum in weeks. His fingers kept teasing her hard little nub until she was panting and writhing right where she stood.

He watched her face intently as it rained a little harder. When she came, she looked so fucking beautiful.

“That’s right, baby. Cum for me.”

“Oh, God! Oh, yes! Oh, fuuuckkk!”

He didn’t stop, wanting to send her over again, but she protested.

“Sit down, Mac, I want to ride you.”

She didn’t need to ask him twice. He sat and closed his eyes, expecting her to pull her nightgown up and climb on his lap. Instead, when he opened his eyes again, she was on her knees.

“Grace, I thought you said…”

She flashed a wicked grin. “I need to get you wet first so that you can slide into me.”

“Mmm, you’re so good to me, baby.”

Freeing him from his constraints, she licked him from the base to the tip before making him disappear inside her mouth. Her fingers reached down and did decadent things to his balls, and she kept looking up at him like a sexy little minx. It was pure heaven, and totally unexpected.

It didn’t take long for him to be so rock hard that his balls ached. Fortunately, she was ready for more. Hiking her gown up around her waist, she joined him on the chair and slid down onto his stiff shaft slowly.

“Fuckkk, Grace! You’re so fuckin’ tight!”

“I guess that’s what happens when you don’t have sex for almost a month. Your cock feels so good inside me.”

Just as she started moving up and down on his rigid pole, the rain became a heavy downpour. For a moment, he considered insisting they move indoors. But Grace seemed energized by the rain. She picked up the pace and was riding him with wild abandon while the storm soaked the bodice of her nightgown, accentuating her glorious girls and their eraser-hard nipples.

Her hair was plastered to her head, some of it on her face, and she looked like an untamed bohemian as she bounced up and down on his cock. All at once, her body shuddered with intense convulsions as her orgasm ripped through her in waves. Her eyes looked feral as she cried out, “Again! More! God, yes!”

Mac did his best to put off cumming as long as he could, but eventually, there was no holding back. His balls tightened and let go as he shot his load deep inside her. To his delight, his orgasm triggered one more climax for Grace that left her falling limp against his body.

When he used his hands to move her hair off her face, he saw that she was weeping. Alarmed, he asked, “What’s wrong, baby? Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry if I was too rough. I was only trying to match your pace.”

She shook her head, unable to speak for a moment. Then she heaved a heavy sigh and said, “No, you didn’t hurt me. I’m fine. I’m more than fine. I’m… oh, my God, Mac…”

Relieved that Grace’s tears were not from pain, he held her face in his hands and kissed her fervently, all the while getting more soaked from the pouring rain.

When the kiss ended, she rested her forehead against his. “I thought… I mean…” she stumbled over her words.

“What, baby?”

“I thought I wouldn’t ever want to make love again. I’ve had zero interest in touching you or having you touch me, or even touching myself. I was devastated by the thought of never experiencing this mind-blowing sex with you again. I thought I was broken… permanently. I was afraid it would ruin our marriage…”

Her words became unintelligible, but Mac’s heart broke a little knowing she’d been holding this revelation inside all this time. No wonder she’d seemed so distant!

He could have told her she’d been silly to worry or foolish to think that they wouldn’t ever fuck like rabbits again, but he liked to think that their years together had taught him better. Instead, he said, “We just needed to find our way back to each other, Gracie. A part of you just shut down for a while. I think a part of me did, too. But we still burn for each other, we always will. Even if that fire seems to be extinguished when life tries to knock us down, it doesn’t take much to rekindle that flame. We needed time, that’s all. I’m so sorry you were worried about that. I kept thinking you weren’t physically ready.”

“And maybe that was part of it,” she said, “but I needed you to find me again, to dig deeper and bring me back into the light. I would say it was foolish of me to waste so much time, but I think fighting this morning, and then you telling me I should go back to work, and then being so incredibly sweet and patient, and… oh, fuck, the pie is ruined, isn’t it?”

Mac laughed from his belly. “I love you so damn much, Grace. Yes, this pie is a mess, but I’m quite sure Claudette made two pies this morning.”

“Oh, thank God! Because now that I’ve had this kind of dessert with you, I’m ravenous. It’s like you flipped a switch in me and literally turned me back on!”

“I’d like to think it was all me, but something magical happened when it started to rain. You look so fuckin’ sexy, but we should really go inside and get dry.”

“In a minute,” Grace whispered. Then she closed her eyes and silently thanked God for every moment of her life that led her to McKinley Stewart, unaware that he, too, was thanking God for the moment that Grace Remy walked into his office.

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we, Mac?”

“Better than ever, Grace.”

As they took shelter from the rain inside their bedroom, Mac looked back and saw the candles all doused by the storm and the waterlogged dessert, and decided he could clean up in the morning. Right now, he needed to grab the other pie and hope that Grace might be interested in round two. Though if all she wanted was to snuggle, he’d welcome that, too. What mattered most was that they’d broken down the barrier between them, and together, they could start to heal.