Gracie had always preferred the shortened version of her name – Lou. Nicknamed that as a child by her older sister, Annie, it stuck. To Lou, her sister Annie seemed to have everything. Annie’s husband Oliver was a retired cop – turned farmer. Lou had heard the two of them making every baby, which sadly, her sister lost prior to their birth.
Oliver was the only man Lou wanted – she wanted him to be the one.
Alex, Lou’s boyfriend, was the kind of guy who was always in a hurry to get things done, and that scared her – especially when it came to that first time. Lou’s faith in Alex’s ability to take things slow concerned her, and she quickly dismissed him as ‘the one’.
Sweltering through the hottest Kansas summer on record, Lou watched her brother-in-law from her bedroom window, working alongside her father and Alex. Watching the men work reignited the fostered calf-love she held for Oliver in her earlier teens. The almost twenty year age difference didn't put the nineteen-year old off. Oliver appeared strong, healthy, and in great condition for a man in his late thirties. His muscles glistened in the Kansas heat as he kept pace with Alex and her father as they slashed the long grass out the back of the homestead by hand. Their property spanned for miles on both sides of Clearwater Road. There was a bus stop about a mile as the crow flies from the homestead where the road ran through their property. If there were no trees surrounding the house, Lou would have had a clear view to the dusty road.
But for now, her gaze remained fixated on the one man – Oliver. She was glad her sister was expecting another baby, and glad Oliver had become so paranoid about not operating heavy machinery near the house when his pregnant wife resided inside. It gave Lou the perfect opportunity to lust over the one man she knew she should never have.
She sat at her window and fantasized what his hands would feel like on her body. A tiny bead of sweat ran down from her neck between her cleavage. It was too hot to contemplate wearing a bra and she was thankful for firm curves as her perky breasts sat high and off her ribcage. Lou unbuttoned the two top buttons of her cotton dress, right at the top of her cleavage and wiped the dribble of water away. When she gazed up, she caught Alex, her boyfriend, looking at her. Lou quickly turned away from the window and crawled off her bed.
The longing gaze Alex gave her pricked her conscience; she knew what he meant. She enjoyed fooling around with him – it was fun, but Alex kept trying to push her further out of her comfort zone until she’d have to tell him no.
Lou went back to the window, but Alex was no longer with Oliver and her father. She leaned out the window, trying to get a better look, and then she heard his distinct three-tap, double knock on her bedroom door. Startled, Lou jumped and hit the back of her head on the open window frame.
“Shit,” she cursed under her breath, as she cautiously pulled her head in then rubbed the tender spot. She was grateful for not having her usual toothed-comb clip back there when she hit her head.
“Just a minute!” she sang out while reaching for a hair-tie to pull her golden locks off her face and up into a ponytail. When she eventually opened the door, Alex was leaning against the frame.
He pushed past her in one swift movement, kicked the door closed with his boot heel, then pulled her into his strong arms for a kiss.
Alex’s lips overpowered hers with passion and longing as he guided her towards the bed. His hands quickly raised the hem of her dress to brush against her thighs.
“Alex, stop.” Lou broke off his kiss and slapped his hands away.
“Why?” Alex breathed heavily.
Lou gazed up into his flushed face. The scent of his sweat, mixed with the sweet smell of freshly cut grass, lingered in the air between the two of them.
‘Lie,’ whispered her inner voice as she watched Alex’s frustrated expression grow stronger.
Her lips quivered and then she pursed them together for a brief moment while she thought of something as Alex’s hand brushed the side of her face. He bent close to kiss her again, but this time she pulled back.
“Don’t.” Lou whispered as she placed both hands on his sweaty chest to push him away.
Alex grabbed a hold of both her upper arms.
“What, I can’t kiss you either?” The tone of Alex’s voice made her courage wane.
Trembling, Lou shook her head.
“It’s not that,” she murmured, as his grip on her arms tightened and she swallowed hard. “I…I…have my period.” A lie Lou knew would get him to leave her alone.
As if those four little words were a magic spell, Alex released her and she breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped back.
“All right,” he raised his hands in passive retreat. “I’ll come back next week when you’re not bleeding,” he grumbled.
She crossed the gap between them and reached up to run her hands through his sweaty, shoulder-length, dark-brown hair.
“Thank you.” Lou breathed as she stood on tiptoes and tenderly kissed his mouth. She didn't want him to suspect she lied.
Alex returned her gentle kiss.
“I’m growing tired of your mixed signals, Lou. I hope you’ll be ready soon,” he breathed as he let her go, and then opened the door abruptly before almost slamming it shut behind as he left.
The sound startled Lou and she wondered why he couldn't be gentle with her all the time.
‘Just because you grew up on a farm with seven brothers doesn't mean you can’t be gentle,’ Lou thought, as she rubbed her arms where his grip had been a little too tight, and knew she couldn't continue dodging him forever. The last time she got carried away, dry humping him, things almost went too far. If it hadn't been for Oliver and her father Johnny, Alex might have claimed her virginity.
Lou shuddered at the thought of how rough Alex liked playing. She had been lucky before, but if she continued to play with fire, she knew Alex would burn her real good. He was toxic, despite his good looks.
“Damn you, virginity…” Lou muttered under her breath as she flung herself down on the bed. She wanted to scream aloud in frustration as the nub between her thighs throbbed with desire. Lou knew that feeling wouldn't go away on its own. While nothing stopped her from reaching down the front of her panties to tease the erect fleshy orb into a dripping frenzy, the lack of a lock on her door did. She’d hate for her sister to walk in on her, or hear her moaning as she pleasured herself. The shame and embarrassment alone would be enough to make her want to go live with her father over on his farm, but that would mean she’d never be able to escape Alex’s advances.
Lou knew of one place on her sister’s farm where she’d be able to have some privacy – the storm cellar. Quickly, Lou got up off the bed and snuck out of the house. If Annie was asleep before, she’d probably be awake now – thanks to Alex’s loud departure. She knew her sister would most likely come in to check on her.
‘How my sister could even sleep in this heat is a mystery,’ thought Lou, as she hoped the front door wouldn't squeak – closing.
The storm cellar was around the side of the house and didn't lock from the outside. Lou watched Oliver, Alex, and her father as they continued slashing the grass. She waited until all three men had their backs turned before she made her move. The steel door was a little heavy, but she managed to open it just enough to squeeze under it. With the weight of the door on her back, Lou started down the narrow steps until the weight of the door lifted.
The stairs gave off a soft glow from the solar charged strips that lined her path until she reached the light switch at the bottom. The air was a little musty down in the cellar, but the coolness of the reinforced concrete underground pit – a welcomed relief to the dry heat above.
The storm cellar could easily accommodate a large family of twelve with five double bunks, stacked end-to-end, that lined the walls and a bench that folded out into a double bed. There was a small table and a stack of chairs further down the back of the cellar that formed something akin to the letter T. Flashlights, a storm radio, and several blankets lined the dusty shelves above those.
Lou grabbed a couple of blankets and unfolded one over the mattress of the first lower bunk, nearest the stairs. The partly shielded bunk sank back into the design of the bunker and stair-wall to make room for the foldout bench/bed opposite when made into a bed, leaving enough room to walk between beds.
She rolled another blanket into a thick log and placed it on top of the first blanket.
Lou lay down on the blanket and closed her eyes, imagining Oliver’s hands were slowly raising her dress. The thought alone caused her core to clench and the throb returned to the fleshy orb between her thighs. As her breathing quickened, Lou slipped her hands down the front of her panties and ran her fingertips through the soft mound of curly hair until she felt the wetness spread.
With a partly satisfied sigh, she shuddered as a fingertip grazed the throbbing nub, and then held her breath while her fingers circled it. The hair on her outer lips grew slick with desire the more she rubbed until her hips started to grind into her fingers. Lou gasped, removing her hands from her panties then got on her kneed to straddle the rolled up blanket. Hunched over, she continued the languid grind against the blanket as she leaned forward and caressed her cloth-encased breasts. Lou’s nipples responded to the dual stimulation; hardening to plump peaks beneath her dress.
From below ground, the sound of the creaking hinges echoed loudly – amplified by the concrete pit walls in the bunker, causing Lou to stop mid-grind and listen. She rolled into the shadows of the bunk as far away from the view of the door as possible, and then she heard his voice.
“Lou? Are you down there?”
Lou’s heart pounded wildly in her chest as the sound of Oliver’s voice echoed around her. She moved and the bunk bed squeaked. She didn't think anyone saw her come down into the shelter.
“Oliver?” she managed to say his name without it sounding so breathy.
“Are you all right, Lou?” Oliver said quietly. The sound still echoed down below.
“Could you please close the door?” Lou said as she swung her legs over the side of the bunk. She heard his footsteps and then the door closed above him.
“I thought I saw you come down here…” his voice trailed off into a whisper before he knelt in front of her. “Lou?”
Lou kept her head down and wouldn't look into his eyes. Somewhere deep inside still ached with need. Faced with the object of her lustful thoughts, she reached out and wrapped her arms around him.
“Oh, Oliver,” Lou whispered as she nestled her head into his sweaty shoulder. “Do the others know you’re down here?”
“No, I didn't want to trigger a reaction from Alex.” The sound of Oliver’s deep throaty voice at her neck sent a shiver of delight through her.
Oliver placed his hand to the back of her head and she winced, pulling away.
“Aw,” she winced, gritting her teeth. Oliver’s hands slid to the top of her arms and she pulled away again, this time gasping loudly.
“Did Alex hurt you?” Oliver’s tone was serious.
Lou pushed past Oliver and climbed out of the bunk. She ran for the stairs and engaged the locks then sat down on the third step, hanging her head in her hands.
“Yes and no,” she replied in a hushed tone. She knew it was wrong to play her brother-in-law like this, but if this was the moment she’d been waiting for, she couldn't waste it. Oliver followed her and squeezed onto the step next to her.
“I hit my head on the window in my room and Alex grabbed my arms when he…”
“Is that where he went – your room?” Lou could see the muscles in Oliver’s jaw flex.
“Oliver, nothing happened.” Lou said, but Oliver shook his head.
“I don’t believe you. You’re covering for him because you know I won’t think twice before knocking that arrogant jerk on his ass.”
‘Confess…’ Lou’s inner voice whispered.
“I am telling you the truth. He wanted more, but I lied to him and he left me alone.”
“Oh, Lou…” Oliver sighed. “When will you learn he’s no good for you?”
‘Tell him what you desire…’ The voice within whispered to Lou like a serpent, coiling around her heart. Lou swallowed hard and gazed directly into Oliver’s eyes. Her lip began to quiver and she pursed them together. The throbbing sensation between her legs returned and she let out an anguished moan.
“I don’t have a choice, Oliver.” Lou sobbed.
Oliver gently stroked the side of her cheek. “You always have a choice, Lou.”
“No,” she sniffed. “I don’t.” Lou fiercely wiped the stray tears from her eyes with the back of her hands. “He’s the only choice I have. He’s the only boyfriend I've ever had. It’s not like there’s a line of eligible young men, lining-up down the road for me. We live and work on this bloody farm. There’s little else in this town. Who am I meant to shack up with, if not for Alex? Some elderly farm hand with no teeth, or Roy Green from Dad’s farm – the guy with one arm and six kids to five other women, or how about Bruce Jones – the guy who killed that family from Oklahoma while driving under the influence? Yeah, Oliver. I have so many men here to choose from. At least Alex is the closest guy to my own age, and he has all his own teeth, no kids, and doesn't drink and drive!”
“But he’s an asshole.” Oliver whispered.
“I know.” Lou cried and buried her head in her hands again.
‘Share your burden with him…’ whispered her inner voice.
“You don’t have to stay with him if he doesn't treat you with respect.” Oliver’s hand gently comforted, stroking her back.
Lou shook her head.
“It’s not that. I feel something for Alex, but it’s the fear of my first time with him that keeps holding me back.”
Oliver raised his eyebrows and gazed down at Lou – shocked.
“You two still haven’t taken that step?”
“It’s my fault!” Lou cried.
“No. No, Lou. It’s not your fault. You need to feel comfortable to go there, and if you’re not, then you shouldn’t.”
“But I want to.” Lou grabbed a hold of Oliver’s shirt collar with both hands, gritting her teeth. “Believe me; I really want to – just not with Alex for my first time.”
Oliver’s mouth fell open and he shifted his weight to lean away from her.
“Maybe this is the kind of thing you should talk with your sister about, and not me.”
“I can’t talk to Annie about sex. I’m afraid she’ll embarrass me the same way she did when I first got my period. You have no idea how horrified I was that she told you – You!” Lou slapped his chest as her hands slipped from his shirt collar and then clasped them tightly in her lap.
A smile curled the corners of Oliver’s lips.
“I could talk to her, if you wish?”
Lou shook her head.
“No. I don’t want to burden her with my non-existent sex life. God forbid the revelation sends her into premature labor and she loses another baby.”
Oliver’s expression became grave and Lou mentally kicked herself for bringing up the touchy subject.
“I can appreciate your fears. I feel the same way. In five years, I've had sex with my wife less than a dozen times! Every time she gets pregnant, she won’t let me near her for fear she’ll lose the baby, then something happens, that is totally out of our control, and the inevitable happens.” Oliver shook his head and spread his hands wide then gestured to his crotch. “I can relate to frustration. I probably have blue ball syndrome and a shriveled sac from the lack of intimacy.” Oliver chuckled as he nudged her shoulder. “Hey?”
Lou scoffed at his crude use of adjectives, but they made her smile.
‘Your window of opportunity – offer him your body for comfort…’ whispered Lou’s inner voice and the worm of desire made a home for itself in her heart.
Lou held his eye contact as she slowly edged her way closer to him – her hand sliding over his dusty thigh to rest on the bulge between his legs.
“Maybe we can help each other through the hard times?” She whispered a little too hoarsely.
“Lou,” breathed Oliver, and his hand rested on top of hers. “I won’t cheat on Annie.”
“You’re not cheating. She’s my sister – we’re a part of each other. Think of me as Annie’s substitute.” Lou begged as she slowly rubbed his crotch with her hand. The tortured expression in Oliver’s eyes let her know that he might be persuaded.
