'Typical,' Ed moaned, pulling up his trousers and staggering to the ringing phone. On the TV, an extended tongue was paused on its way to a shaved pussy.
He picked up the phone and managed a reasonably polite 'hello'.
A woman's voice he couldn't place.
'Hi, it's Dawn.'
Dawn from work? She had never phoned his house before.
'Hi, how you doing?' he said.
'Yeah, I'm good. How are you?'
'Well, you've interrupted me, actually - I was just about to have a wank.'
She burst out laughing and Ed smiled, picturing her. Dawn was blonde, gorgeous and, of course, unavailable - just like his other attractive female friends. Not that he had a hope in Hell, anyway - he was always The Funny Friend. He had forgotten how to be anything else.
'No, I'm all right,' he said. 'Day off, so...just chilling out and stuff.'
'You weren't really...'
'No!' he laughed, 'I was actually making a cup of tea. So, is everything all right?'
'I'm locked out of the house.'
'It's not funny!' Dawn said, but she was laughing. 'I told John not to take the keys this morning, but he did, the idiot.'
The boyfriend. Ed had seen him in photographs; he was a good-looking bastard.
'What about your neighbours?' he said.
'Nobody's in. Well, I think the Camerons are in, but no way am I sitting with them for four hours.'
'I was wondering...'
'You want to come over here and wait?'
'Oh, can I? Ed, that would be so great! You don't have company?'
'No, come right over.'
'Oh, you're a star!'
Ed blushed, as he always did with compliments.
'Number 58,' he said.
'How long will you be?'
'About five or ten minutes, I think; I'm in the car. Is that all right?'
Five or ten minutes! His place was nowhere near chick-ready.
'Yeah, great. See you in a bit,' he said.
Ed put down the phone and glanced at his masturbation set-up in the living room. Driven by panic, he got to work.
While Ed was in the bathroom refreshing his armpits with deodorant, the doorbell rang. It had been over ten minutes since the phone call had ended and he had managed to make the living room somewhat presentable - i.e., porn-free. He hoped.
He opened the front door. 'Hey!' he said.
'Hey!' Dawn replied.
God, she's a knockout, he thought to himself. Dawn was one of those women who always got away with being overdressed. Today she was wearing a low-cut black top with short sleeves and tight black trousers. As Ed stepped aside to let her in, he checked just how tight they were. Very tight, he confirmed.
'I'm going to kill John when I see him!' she said.
Right away with the boyfriend. In case I forget, Ed thought.
He noticed that the pendant on her necklace was nestled in her cleavage - a cruel test for any man. He was doing well to avoid its lure, but as a consequence he was standing in front of her like a mute. Say something!
'Cup of tea?' he asked.
Her smile melted his insides.
'I'd kill for one!'
'Follow me, madam,' he said, and led her to the kitchen.
'Oh!' Dawn said, and swigged the last of her tea. 'I need to check my e-mail. Can I do it here?'
Ed's stomach flipped. That would mean going to his bedroom, which he hadn't cleared for chick access. The bed wasn't made, yesterday's socks were probably still on the floor, maybe his underwear, too...what else? Porn? No, most of that was on the comp-
Despite these thoughts, he heard himself say: 'Sure, let's go.'
Ed led the way up the stairs very slowly, as if he were being taken to a cell; he had just remembered that his desktop picture showed a nude, Nordic goddess displaying considerable imagination with a garden hose.
'Mind if I use your bathroom?'
Yes! Ed screamed in his head. Take a big, long dump, I beg you!
'Sure, here it is,' he said, pointing to it.
He heard the door close. He bolted for the bedroom.
The computer booted up while he tidied the room. He felt like he had OCD, the number of times he was rearranging stuff. On top of the trashy horror novel he was currently reading he placed his unread copy of Kafka's The Castle, which had a cool, arty cover.
Yeah, Ed, cause we all know that chicks drop their pants for guys who read Kafka. Well-known fact. Kafka on your bookshelf? They'll blow you on the spot.
Ed knew he was being foolish. He also felt guilty because Dawn was his friend. He valued their friendship, but at the same time he wanted to ride her like a pony. Plus, she had a boyfriend. He would never do that to another guy. It was loathsome.
He heard the toilet flush. The Nordic stunner had been replaced by a picture of the Moon, but what about the porn files - would she see any of them? The bathroom door clicked open and he heard Dawn's skipping footsteps. Too late to do anything about it now.
'That is by far the cleanest bathroom in any guy's house, ever!' she said.
Ed smiled. It was true; he liked a spotless bathroom.
'Here, have a seat,' he said, offering his chair to her.
'Haven't you got one for yourself?'
'You take this one, I'll get one from the other room.'
'Thanks,' she said, sitting down and sidling up to the monitor.
Ed returned with the chair and sat down a few feet away from Dawn, giving her space to read her e-mail.
'Cream Pie Addicts 2?' Dawn said.
Ed's blood ran cold.
He looked up to see her navigating the folders on his hard drive. What the hell was she doing?
'Triple X Beach Party, An Assful of Cum Volume 4, Cum Catching Bitch-'
Ed wheeled his chair across, bumping into Dawn's, and tried to cover the monitor with his hands as a joke.
Dawn laughed. 'So this is your porn stash?'
'Yes, it appears you have accidentally come across it,' he said, trying his best to make light of it. He suddenly realised that their knees were touching. He didn't want to move away in case it seemed rude.
'Let's have a look at one,' she said, a mischievous look on her face.
Ed watched in amazement as she double-clicked ‘Cream Pie Addicts 2', a series of porn vignettes. Each ended with a load of come oozing out of a pussy or ass. Ed was hoping that Dawn would think it was set in a bakery.
'Is there a story to this?' she said.
'Oh yeah, it's real Dickens material.'
She giggled and nudged his side with her elbow. The movie played in a large window on the monitor. A well-endowed blonde who looked uncomfortably close to Dawn strutted into view. She was having an inane conversation with the cameraman and taking off her clothes. Wearing only a white G-string and clear heels, she sat down on a couch and began to massage her breasts.
I'm watching a porn film with Dawn, Ed thought. I'm confused.
Dawn wasn't saying anything. She seemed very interested in the movie.
'The acting is great, isn't it?' Ed said.
Dawn smiled. 'It's pretty hot.'
‘Pretty hot'? Is she getting turned on by this? With me right next to her?
The woman was rubbing her pussy through the fabric of the G-string. A man came into view and pulled off the G-string. Cue large close-ups of him eating her out. The sounds of licking and moaning floated out of the speakers on the desk.
Ed's face felt hot. Sweat tickled his underarms, despite the deodorant. He could see Dawn's expression on the monitor's reflected surface - she was transfixed. In his peripheral vision, he could swear that she was stroking her thigh.
Ed thought that his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Plus, he was getting a raging hard-on. He wanted to move but he was acutely aware that their knees were still touching, and breaking the spell of this moment would surely be heresy.
'That's right, suck it,' the man said, the woman obliging.
Dawn made a sound like a moan. She coughed in an attempt to cover it up.
Ed turned to look at her. Her face seemed very close to his.
She looked at him.
Her eyes flicked downwards to his crotch. She stared at it for a long time. At some point her hand reached out and landed on the fabric of his trousers. Almost a minute passed in that finely balanced position, the two of them like statues - the only movement in the room the fleshy flickering on the monitor.
Then the line was crossed: her fingers squeezed his crotch, and Ed inhaled sharply.
Dawn stood up and straddled Ed, sitting right on his lap, her tits in his face. She forced them against his mouth and he opened wide, getting a taste of cotton-covered breast. Her hands tugged down on her top and B-cups, causing her breasts to spring out and point right at him. Ed dove his face in, licking his way across her tanned cleavage, sucking the mound of one tit while feeling the other. As he did this, Dawn worked her pelvis, grinding her crotch into Ed's, her arms around his neck. Ed's hands reached down and cupped her ass. He squeezed and pulled her body into his.
She pulled away while her tit was in Ed's mouth - there was a wet pop as it came out - and stood up. Her hand pulled on Ed's waistband. He stood up and she helped him out of his trousers while he lifted off his shirt. She jerked down his boxer shorts, and before he could even step out of them she had his erection in her mouth, sucking hard on it. While her hands squeezed his ass, she licked an exquisitely slow path from the tip of his penis, along the underside of his shaft, right down to his balls. Which she began to suck.
Ed's opinions of his ex-girlfriends' oral techniques had plummeted.
Dawn had both balls in her hot mouth, her tongue gently working them over. She popped them out and paused to get her breath back. Ed touched her shoulders and she stood up. They exchanged an impatient kiss, Ed moving down quickly to her neck. He stepped back as she removed her contorted top and bra, then he bent down to her breasts. As he tongued her erect nipples his hand pressed down past her tummy and tucked inside her waistband. She undid a button on her trousers, allowing his hand to advance to her crotch. He pressed against her panties and felt the dampness there. His moved his hand inside them and felt the crispy curls of her pubic hair, then he slid down further where her flesh yielded and he was inside her, where it was so soft and wet. She moaned into his ear and his cock pressed painfully against her leg.
Dawn made an anguished sound and stepped back, almost tearing off her trousers and underwear. They were both naked now. She tugged Ed's arm and brought him over to the bed, where she lay back and spread her legs.
He dived down and licked the inside of her thigh. She moaned as if to say Come on, but he teased her, suddenly thinking he was some kind of stud. He licked and kissed her other thigh, moving right up to her pussy, but he caved as her smell filled his nostrils - an incredible smell of heat and sex. He licked his way up the lips of her pussy to her clit and then slid a finger inside her, then two. She was well lubricated. His fingers worked inside her as he moved his tongue flat across her firm, pink bud. Dawn was getting vocal now, high-pitched ohs and aaaahs escaping from her. He pulled his fingers out, wet with her juices; she took his hand and stared at him while she sucked his fingers clean. He put them back in and worked her pussy hard, curling his fingers upwards as he pushed in and out. With each stroke his thumb brushed her clit. Eventually he felt the spongy surface of her G-spot. As soon as the tips of his fingers rubbed against it she screamed, 'Oh fuck!', and so he continued.
He returned his tongue to her clit, soaking it liberally. She was hardly making any sound now, he noticed. Then she erupted. She had been silent because her breath had stopped; it came out in a guttural scream that boomed out of her and then rose in pitch, and Ed thought, Fucking hell! Amazed by her reaction but wanting to top it, his fingers pumped even harder, his tongue slithering across her clit in double-quick time. She screamed again and her body jerked like a single muscle tensing. Then she collapsed. She was laughing softly.
'Oh...my...God!' she said.
His face rose to meet hers, and she kissed him all over.
'Have you got a condom?' she breathed.
Ed nodded and searched his bedside drawer with trembling hands. I hope these aren't out of date, he thought, taking one out of its carton.
On the monitor, the man's ass was bobbing up and down, his cock pile-driving into the woman's pussy. Ed watched, trying to keep his erection.
Dawn was also watching the monitor, stroking herself idly between her legs. I'm spoilt for choice, he thought.
Ed freed the slimy rubber from the wrapper. He looked up and saw Dawn getting on all fours, her ass wiggling in the air. She gestured towards the monitor, smiling. The woman in the film was doing the same.
Ed pulled the sheath over himself and stood behind Dawn. Her hand reached down and she guided the head of his penis into her. Ed pushed himself in all the way, and they both moaned. He slid in and out, slowly increasing the tempo. He loved how she backed into him. What a view, he thought.
He was thrusting into her hard and fast now, watching her body jolt as her ass slapped against him. He could feel himself ready to release already and he cursed himself, wishing he could last longer. His rhythm faltered, and Dawn turned to look at him.
'Here,' she said, easing his cock out of her and turning to face him. She rolled the condom off him and chucked it on the floor. She knelt before him and soaked his dick with saliva; then she began to jerk him off. With her other hand she massaged his balls and stroked his perineum, as if summoning the come out of him.
'Ah...ah, ah...' Ed breathed, on the brink. Dawn opened wide and pumped her fist even faster, flicking the tip of his cock with her tongue. Christ!
He exploded, shooting thick arcs of semen into her mouth. Once, twice, three times - she really had a mouthful of it. Her mouth enveloped him while he was still coming, and he pulsed inside her hot mouth. He could feel her tongue swirling the come all around him and then she sucked it away, swallowing it. His dick was still dribbling it out, but she licked every last drop of him. She looked up at him with a cute smile on her face, like a little kid proud of finishing everything on her plate.
Ed collapsed in a heap; Dawn laughed and fell down beside him.
* * *
Two weeks later, Ed received this e-mail:
i took a holiday, although i'm guessing someone at work already told you that. i would have phoned but i couldn't think what to say. john's been working up north for the last 2 weeks, and he'll be there for another 2. i was wondering...i'm off tomorrow afternoon and after the gym i might phone u up and pretend that im locked out again, just like i did two weeks ago. that ok with you?
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