Morning comes gently to Jerry this Sunday morning. With thoughts of last night fresh in his mind, he walks into the kitchen to make his coffee. He pauses for a moment, thinking about the filthy kitchen he walked into yesterday morning. Today, he feels inspired by how clean it is. Cleaning his apartment yesterday is paying dividends in the way he feels. He hasn't felt this good since he got out of the Army. 

Walking into the living room with his coffee, he feels some moisture around his asshole. He grins when he realizes it's Roger's cum from last night. Sitting in his chair, he thinks about how nice it was to let his body go where it wanted to go. There is a calmness inside as he thinks about it.

Sipping his coffee, seeing the half joint in the ashtray from last night makes him think...

"Should I? Hmmmm... getting stoned in the morning used to feel so good...  OK, just a hit or two." 

One hit of the pot instantly goes to his head. He decides he doesn't need another. Allen only gave him two joints last night. He is nicely stoned already, and he doesn't want to smoke it all in one day. He feels like laying back down for a while and enjoying not having to do anything today.

Lying on the bed with his eyes closed, his mind replays the sex he enjoyed last night. He smiles, recalling every moment, remembering how much easier it was to just let go and let it flow. 

He especially remembers how he felt like a girl when Roger penetrated him for the first time. It seemed so natural for him, so easy to enjoy. The marijuana in his brain helps him fantasize about it. He's not sure what to make of the girl feelings. He does know he'd like to get fucked again. 

He gets hungry and decides it's time to get out of this fantasy. He needs to get cleaned up and get some breakfast going and figure out what he wants to do today. While making breakfast in his clean kitchen, it occurs to him how poorly he's been eating since he's been living by himself. He wants to pay better attention to his diet and learn about cooking better food.

Considering he knows next to nothing about cooking, he needs to get himself a cookbook. It's only ten o'clock, he doesn't have anything he needs to do, so he decides to go to the bookstore in the mall and look for a cookbook.

At the mall, he feels good to be out doing something different. A few weeks ago, when he was depressed, he would have been walking around with his eyes toward the floor. Today, he is excited, happily walking through the busy mall. He enjoys looking in all the store windows as he walks to the bookstore. 

Inside the bookstore, he finds a very relaxing atmosphere. He is glad he decided to come here today. Looking for the cooking section, he passes several different sections that catch his eye. He stops at a rack with books about meditation. Other sections like yoga and massage also capture his interest. He enjoys picking up books in each section and glancing through them. It feels good to have his mind stimulated again like it was in California.

When he gets to the cooking section, he is confronted with a huge selection of books covering so many aspects of cooking. He spends a lot of time glancing through a lot of books. He finds a book that devotes the first half to covering basic cooking knowledge, and recipes in the second half. This seems like the book he is looking for. He doesn't like the $10.95 price, but he bites the bullet walks and out with his new book.

Back home, he lights up the joint and pops open a beer. He settles back on the couch, eager to start reading his new book. He pauses from time to time to reflect on his first month in Des Moines. Things were looking bleak a few weeks ago, and now he is happily relaxing, feeling good about where he is and how he feels. It has been a good weekend.

His good mood continues into the new week. Tuesday night, while he is happily making his dinner, he hears a phone ringing. He's never heard anyone's phone ring before, and wonders where it's coming from. He walks into the living room and it sounds like it is coming from inside his apartment. 'What the fuck?' he thinks. It rings again, and it sounds like it's coming from under the couch. He looks under the couch and sure enough, there is a phone under there ringing. Puzzled, he pulls the phone out and answers it.

"Hello?"

He hears a voice laughing, "Damn, I thought you'd never answer." 

"Who is this?"

"Who do you think it is?"

"Roger?"

"Bingo! How do you like your new phone?"

"I don't know. I didn't know I had one until just now."

"Well, you needed one, so I had the phone company put one in today. I hope you don't mind, I hid it under the couch so I could surprise you," he says as he laughs.

"No, I don't mind, but how much is this going to cost?"

"For you? Not a penny."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like this. I'm tired of always having to show up there unannounced, and you need a phone if you're going to meet new friends. So I put one in for you and we'll just include it as part of your rent."

"Wow, thanks, Rog. That's really nice of you."

"Think nothing of it, my friend. After the fun we had Saturday night, you deserve an extra perk or two. And besides, how else are you going get a hold of Allen when you smoke that last joint?"

They both laugh.

"Speaking of Allen, I called him and gave him your number, just so you know. I didn't think you'd mind."

"No, not at all."

"Well listen, I gotta run. I just wanted to call to let you know you have a phone now. I'll call again when I have more time... See ya."

"OK, Rog, thanks again, I really appreciate it. Bye."

Jerry hangs up the phone and can't believe what just happened. Roger just made his day. His heart is filled with joy as he returns to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner. After dinner he puts on a record, takes a few tokes off the second joint Allen gave him, and settles back to read more of his cookbook. 

He's had four good days in a row. He hopes it continues; he likes how it feels. He's getting into a better routine. He's really glad he spent the money for his new cookbook. He's learned so much from it and he's anxious to try some of the recipes. 

Wednesday night, he is reading his book when the phone rings. He hopes it is Roger when he answers,

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jerry. This is Rog. How are you doing?"

"Very well, thank you. I'd be doing better if you stopped by tonight. I'd sure like to show you how much I appreciate you giving me my phone."

"I'd love to, Jerry, but I'm tied up tonight. I'll probably be tied up for the rest of the week. That's why I called."

"I understand. You have responsibilities, I'm sure."

"Unfortunately, I do. But I wanted to ask you something. Do you remember Saturday night when we were at The Mixx, and Allen mentioned something about the Club?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well, there's a meeting this Saturday, I was wondering if you'd like to go to it with me."

"I'm not sure. I was kinda planning on going up to Storm Lake this weekend to visit my folks, but I haven't decided for sure yet."

"Well, I just thought I'd throw it by you to see if you'd be interested. I think you'd have a great time, and you might meet some new friends."

"Yeah, I'm interested. Let me think about it. What time does it start?"

"No set time. Guys start showing up around seven and we go until everyone decides to leave. Sometimes we stay three or four hours and sometimes longer. It depends who's there and what we feel like doing. Kind of a party atmosphere, you never know what's going to happen."

"Sounds interesting. When do you have to know?"

"Can I call you tomorrow night?"

"Sure, I can decide by then."

"OK. I'll call you tomorrow night. Gotta run. Bye."

"Bye."

Jerry hangs up the phone and thinks about his weekend plans. He remembers the last depressing three weekends he spent with his family. He  really isn't looking forward to going up there again, just to get depressed. He decides he'll tell Roger he'll go with him when he calls tomorrow.

Roger calls him Thursday and Jerry says he'll go with him. They decide Roger will him pick him up at six, get something to eat, and go to the meeting from there. Jerry is excited knowing he'll be doing something with Roger again this weekend. 

He feels a little apprehension about what he might be getting into, but he decides to trust Roger and not worry about it. He had a great time last Saturday and he hopes he'll have a good time this Saturday.

A few minutes later his phone rings again. Jerry hears a different voice this time when he answers, "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Jerry?"

"Yes, it is, who is this?"

"Hi, Jerry. It's Allen. Remember me from last Saturday night?"

"Oh, hi, Allen! Of course I remember you. I've remembered you every time I took a few tokes off those joints you gave me."

"Roger gave me your number Monday night. He told me you were kinda shy and probably wouldn't call, so I thought I'd call you when I didn't hear from you."

"Thanks for calling. I'm not that shy, it's just that I don't know anyone yet."

"Well, you're not going to get to know anyone if you don't call. So how are you doing?"

"I'm doing well. It's been nice having a little weed to smoke. I finished the last joint last night."

"Wow. You made two joints last that long?"

"Well yeah. I had to ration it out because I don't know when I'll get more."

"I told you Saturday, give me a call if you need anything, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. I just didn't want to bother you."

"Well, don't let that happen again. You can call me anytime. It just so happens, I'm out right now too. I'm meeting my source tomorrow after work. Are wanting to get some more?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind scoring a lid."

"I'm meeting my source tomorrow after work at The Mixx, the bar we were at last week. Do you know how to get there?"

"Umm... no. Roger was driving. It was dark and I didn't know where we were going anyway. I do have a map and I can look up the address. I can probably find it."

Jerry and Allen continue talking for quite a while. Jerry finds Allen easy to talk to; there seems to be good chemistry between them. They agree to meet at The Mixx at six o'clock tomorrow night. Jerry is apprehensive about going to that "queer bar" again, but being able to score some weed helps overcome his apprehension. 

He gets his map out of the car, looks up the address in his new phone book, and gets a good idea of how to get there.

The next day after work, Jerry stops for a quick fast-food burger before making his way to The Mixx. It is easier to find than he thought, and he arrives twenty minutes early. Afraid to go in by himself, he waits in the car until he sees Allen go in. 

The temperature outside is a freezing four degrees, so he has to leave the car running to stay warm. Twenty-five minutes go by and Jerry hasn't seen Allen walk in. He wonders if he got the meeting time right. Maybe Allen is late. Maybe he's early. 

Jerry's bladder is sending him a message that he needs to use the bathroom. After waiting another ten minutes, he gets brave and goes in by himself, mainly because he really has to pee. 

Once inside, Jerry heads straight to the bathroom to relieve his need. Standing at the urinal, he looks around and sees two sets of feet under a toilet stall. The feet are facing each other and he can only imagine what's going on in there. He thinks to himself, 'Yup, this is a queer bar alright.'

Coming out of the bathroom, he is relieved to see Allen standing there waiting for him.

"Hey, Jerry! I was worried about you. I was afraid you got lost finding the place. When I saw you heading into the can, I came over to catch you on your way out."

"Well, I actually got here early. I didn't want to come in by myself, so I waited in the parking until I saw you walk in the door."

"Hell, you should have just come in. I've been here for an hour."

"Sorry, I didn't know, I was nervous about coming in here alone."

"No reason to be nervous. I have a table over there in the corner. Let's go sit down."

On their way to the table, Allen catches a waitress and orders them both a beer. Sitting at the table, Allen begins to talk.

"You don't have to be nervous coming in here. This is a very friendly bar once you get to know the crowd. It's a safe refuge for us. We can come here and just be ourselves. Everyone accepts everyone else. No one judges anyone. We come here to escape all the brutal shit society throws at us."

"I guess I've never looked at myself like that."

"Looked at yourself like what?"

Jerry, not wanting to offend, searches for the right word...

"I'm not sure, actually. I don't think I'm... you know... hmmmm."

Allen sees Jerry stumbling on his words, so he helps him out. "A queer?"

"Yeah. That's it. I'm not a queer."

"Well, maybe you're not. Not yet anyway. You had a good time with Roger when you left here Saturday night, didn't you?"

Jerry blushes with embarrassment. His first instinct is to deny it, hide it. But he knows Allen knows what he did.

"Well, ummm, yeah. We played around a little bit."

"There's nothing wrong with that. It was fun, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. But it's not something I want to do all the time. It's just something to do until I get a girlfriend."

"So you like fucking girls?"

"Yeah. I like to fuck girls."

"How many girls have you fucked?"

"Well, actually, none yet. But I want to."

"How old are you, Jerry?"

"Twenty-three. How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-seven."

"Have you ever fucked a girl?"

"Yeah. I fucked a couple girls before I went in the Navy. It wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be. Then I met this guy in the Navy, he showed me how guys can be as much fun as girls. Even more fun than girls."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I was stationed in Norfolk, he had an apartment off base. I'd go over there on weekends to get stoned. The local girls always treated us military guys like shit, like we had the plague or something. We were always horny as hell, so we made up a little game, just to get us by until we got out. We took turns pretending to be the girl, and we fucked each other in the ass. The more we did it, the more I liked it. I liked being the girl more than he did, so after a few times, I was the girl every time we did it. I even started dressing up a little bit."

"What did you do with him?"

"Well... we would get really stoned. I would go into the bathroom, and I'd come out wearing panties and a bra. I sucked his cock and let him fuck me. It was fun being the girl. I still like it."

Jerry is feeling turned on, listening to Allen talk like this. He is curious, but doesn't feel comfortable asking too many questions just yet. 

Jerry starts to speak when he's interrupted by a voice coming their way, "Allen! There you are."

Jerry sees a well-built man with light brown skin coming toward them. 

"Hey, Jorge, how the hell are you? I've been waiting for you to show up. Did you get held up?" says Allen.

Jorge speaks with a slight Jamaican-style accent. "Ya, man, I had a late appointment this afternoon. One of my good clients needed a perm for a party tomorrow night. I had to work her in."

"Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Hey, Jorge, I'd like you to meet Jerry, a new friend of mine."

Allen turns to Jerry. "Jerry, I'd like you to meet my friend Jorge. Jorge is a hairstylist. He's the man to see when you need to get your hair done."

Jerry stands and extends his hand to Jorge. "Nice to meet you, Jorge."

"Nice to meet you too, Jerry."

Jorge turns to Allen. "I hate to rush things, but did you still want to score a bag? I'm running so late."

"Yeah, I'm completely out. If you have an extra one, Jerry would mind scoring a lid."

"You're in luck, Jerry. I have a couple extras. Let's go out to my van."

The three men go out to Jorge's van to check out the weed. Jerry and Allen don't like the high $15 price tag, but they look like full-ounce lids. It's too fucking cold in the van to negotiate, so they each buy a lid and Jorge goes on his way. 

"For that price, this better be some good smoke," says Allen.

"I'm just happy to get any at all," Jerry replies.

"It's looking like $10 lids are a thing of the past. Hey, do you want to jump in my car and try it out? I've got my pipe with me."

"Sure, why not."

As they sit shivering in Allen's car waiting for it to warm up, Allen loads the pipe and hands it to Jerry. While Jerry takes a hit, Allen asks him, "So, Jerry, how long have you known Roger?"

"Not long. About a month, I guess."

"Oh, that's right, I forgot. Roger's a pretty cool guy. He'll really treat you good if he takes a liking to you. And it looks like he likes you a lot."

"Well... we don't really know each other that well."

Allen laughs, "I saw his hand feeling your leg under the table the other night, it looks like you've gotten to know each other pretty well. Plus... he bought you a phone this week. If I know Roger, you two are either already fucking, or you're getting close to fucking."

Hearing Allen say that makes Jerry blush. "Oh, yeah, that... well... ummm... OK... he did fuck me a little bit Saturday night, but... I'm not... umm... you know..."

Allen interrupts, "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. You don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed of anything. Everybody in this crowd does that sort of thing. That's why we hang out here. I wanted to ask you... has Roger asked you about going to a Club meeting yet?"

"Yeah, he did. He asked me if I wanted to go tomorrow night."

"Did you tell him yes?"

"I did. I'm not sure what to expect. I'll have to see what happens."

"Cool. It's a fun bunch of guys, depending on who shows up. Like Roger, if these guys take a liking to you, they'll treat you really well, believe me."

"You've got my curiosity up now. Knowing Roger, it makes me wonder what I'm getting into. Are you going to be there?"

"I'll be there. I go to most of the meetings. I can't tell you a lot about what to expect, it depends who's there. All I can tell you is go there with an open mind, go with the flow, and you'll have a great time."

Allen takes another hit off the pipe and passes it to Jerry.

"No thanks, man. I'm good. I hope I can drive home."

"Yeah, this weed is pretty good... hey...  let me ask you... when you were in California, did you ever get into anything besides pot?"

"Yeah, we did a little acid (LSD) I was while there."

"I was wondering if you did. I like it occasionally too, but everyone around here is so paranoid about it. It's hard to find anyone to do it with."

"I'd do it with you."

"Oh yeah? Next time I run across some, I'll pick us up a couple hits. It would be a blast... hey... look at the time. I need to get outa here."

"Yeah, me too. It's been interesting talking with you, to say the least. Thanks for helping me score the pot. So... I guess I'll see you tomorrow night?"

"You sure will. I'm looking forward to seeing you there."

Jerry gets back in his freezing car. Waiting for the engine to warm up, he thinks about what Allen said. He's really curious about some of the things he talked about. He feels an attraction to him and thinks he would like to know him better. As he drives home, his mind wonders what tomorrow night will be like. 

The only thing Jerry is sure about right now is he just scored a bag of pot. He's looking forward to getting home, rolling up a joint or two, and listening to his favorite music. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Tonight, he's going to get very stoned and celebrate the very good week he has had.