Prologue
Mr. Richards stood up facing the window and lowered his trousers and underwear. Agent Beth and Agent Rachel knelt in front of him and began visually inspecting his dick.
“Excellent specimen. Would you permit me to question him?” asked Agent Beth.
“Question him, what for? How are you going to do that?” asked Mr. Richards in astonishment.
“There is a new interrogation technique,” explained Agent Rachel, “it is called pussyboarding. It is very effective, but Congress has not approved it yet. Some liberals are opposing it, but we have very strong support among the GOP caucus.”
~~~~
Agent Beth slowly impaled herself on his cock. I am sure, he would not hold any secrets, thought Mr. Richards with his eyes closed and feeling the pleasure enveloping the entire length of his cock. When he opened his eyes, he noticed that Agent Rachel was standing above his face with her feet nearly touching his ears.
“What are you doing?” he asked looking up her skirt.
“We are going to work our good cop – bad cop technique on him,” she replied removing her panties.
“Which one are you?”
“Oh, I am very bad, baby,” said Agent Rachel and lowered herself on his face.
~~~~
At home, he found his wife in a pensive mood.
“While you were at work, two guys from CIA came to talk to me about Mr. Cox,” she said, “they were wondering if he was ever talking about black swans. They said that these black swans are some kind of a secret spy organization that places their own people within government agencies. They were wondering if Mr. Cox had any connection to that. And then they were asking what exactly he was doing here for the whole evening.”
“And what did you say?”
“And I said that I was not very comfortable describing what he was doing. And they suggested to help me by using some modern questioning technique where I would not have to say anything and they would find out everything they needed. They called it pussyboarding.”
“So you agreed?”
“Yes, honey. They asked me to sign a release form and after that they took me to the bedroom.”
“Did they try the bad cop – good cop technique on you?”
“They did! How do you know? I have to tell you, the bad one was really good. Well, the good one was not bad either.”
~~~~
Chapter 1. It Takes a Dick to Catch a Dick
Mr. Richards did not have much of a story to tell. It happened the same way as the first time, he woke up in the morning with his dick gone. Unlike the previous escape, when his dick was found the same day masquerading as Mr. Cox, this time it was nowhere to be found for more than a week. Mr. Richards had to tell everything to his wife Lucy and even come clean about his pussyboarding encounter with Agents Beth and Rachel and how Agent Rachel offered him help in case Mr. Cox were to misbehave again.
It was Lucy who insisted that they reach out to Agent Rachel for help and here they were, at the conference room inside the Pussyboarding Agency, an elite and clandestine division within the FBI.
Besides Agent Rachel, their hosts included Dr. Schlongeist, Founding Director of the Pussyboarding Agency, and Randy the Dick, his former student and… Well, all in due time.
As Dr. Schlongeist explained to Mr. Richards and Lucy, Agents Beth and Rachel collected very good intelligence from that pussyboarding session which revealed that Mr. Cox was in connection with Black Swans, an international spy organization, that Black Swans were planning to use him as some kind of a doppelganger dick and that among other things they wanted him to attack pussy hubs.
“The CIA agents that came to pussyboard me were also talking about Black Swans, but they never mentioned any pussy hubs or dopy gangbang dicks,” said Lucy.
Dead silence enveloped the conference room for a very long thirty seconds.
“You were pussyboarded by CIA?!”
They made Lucy carefully go through every detail of her encounter with CIA visitors which got her blushed quite a few times, considering among other things her husband’s presence in the room.
“We are fucked, those men were not CIA, they were Black Swans themselves in search of Mr. Cox,” said Randy the Dick upon listening to Lucy’s story. “CIA has no jurisdiction to pussyboard anyone here. These fakers actually came to pass the message through you to Mr. Cox and to lure him away again. Who knows how much damage that Mr. Cox can cause us or has already caused?”
Now follow me carefully my reader friends as this is the time to tell you more about Randy the Dick. Randy was called the Dick because he was one. Joking aside, however, the issues at stake were directly within Randy’s realm of responsibilities. He came straight from the White House where he held an important position of the Head of the Presidential Erotic Neurogenital Information Service (PENIS), a newly-formed security group reporting directly to the President.
Randy ran a widely-spread hub-and-spoke data gathering network of agents of all sexes, genders, and sexual orientations who used pussyboarding tactics to meet the President’s intelligence needs.
His meticulously selected female agents known internally as pussy hubs were strategically placed all over the capital where they could easily lure unassuming politicians, party operatives, diplomats, and foreign dignitaries who would become pussyboarded for all kinds of information without ever knowing that.
His personally-trained dick spokes were always on the hunt for the same kind, and predominantly female, contingent.
In Randy’s opinion, however, this perceived symmetry was misleading, and he valued his pussy agents well above the dicks given pussies’ significantly higher efficiency in attracting, collecting, and processing information. Dicks were quite helpful in focused intelligence operations but in general data gathering, they were no match to pussies.
The President was particularly fond of his PENIS services which elevated Randy to become one of his top advisors. Suspicious of other divisions of his security apparatus and distrustful of the fake news media, the President exclusively relied on intelligence, local and international news obtained by PENIS and often organized private security briefings with trusted hub agents.
Always concerned with never-ending information leaks from within his administration, the President even tried to install mandatory daily pussyboarding examinations for all his personnel. Although liking that idea enormously, Randy had to advise his boss against such a drastic measure as it could hurt him politically in the forthcoming re-election campaign. Once re-elected though, argued Randy, the President would be in a much better position to pursue his aggressive pussyboarding agenda.
For that second presidential term, Randy himself had Napoleonic plans for PENIS’ expansion both nationally and globally.
“Fuck NSA and CIA,” he used to say privately, “with all their expensive data centers, artificial intelligence tools, and other big-brother-like technologies. My pussy hubs and dick spokes cost a tiny fraction of all that computer mumbo-jumbo but when it comes to intelligence gathering, they unquestionably deliver orders of magnitude bigger bang for the buck.”
Thus, it was no surprise to anyone within the organization that Randy became concerned with the disappearance of Mr. Cox. With his unusual nature, Mr. Cox could hit on Randy’s pussy hubs, pump them for security data and then spill that information to skillful pussies placed to debrief him on behalf of Black Swans.
But that was not all and Randy kept digging, “Dr. Schlongeist, what do you know about that doppelganger dick thingy?”
“The concept is not new, and it involves a third-party penis getting attached to a male body temporarily displacing that body’s penis for the purpose of having sexual intercourse,” said Dr. Schlongeist. “Actually, with all the non-binary possibilities, this could be even more versatile.”
“Is this really possible?” asked Mr. Richards.
“I have never seen one, but given your personal experience with your runaway Mr. Cox, I would assume that it is quite possible,” responded Dr. Schlongeist and then continued.
“The first mentioning of the doppelganger dick phenomenon could be found in the 11th Century AD manuscript attributed to one Brother Meldonius, a Benedectine monk in the monastery of Montecassino. According to this manuscript, tormented by celibacy and tempted by the devil himself, the monk experienced disappearances of his phallus, first for hours and then for days and even months. Upon each of his phallus’ returns, the monk would become troubled in his sleep with colorful and explicit dreams in which his phallus was engaged by women of all ages and societal statutes. In these dreams, Brother Meldonius felt as if he were pretending to be not himself but an entirely different person…”
“Thank you, professor,” Randy interrupted Dr. Schlongeist rather impolitely, “I think we got the picture.
Not only that Mr. Cox is sent to disrupt my network of pussy hubs, but he could also jump on some other guy, impersonate that guy’s dick and fuck that guy’s girlfriend, wife, daughter, mother, mistress or all of them together. We have a major security threat here. This is what I call clear and present danger.”
The problem finally dawned on everyone. Finding a runaway dick in this town was much harder than finding a needle in a haystack – at least the needle did not run around pretending to be something else.
Dr. Schlongeist was right to invite Randy to this meeting, Randy came up with a plan. His plan was simple and because of that, it could work.
Randy wanted to put his pussy hubs on alert to make them aware and beware of Mr. Cox and to have them call for enforcement at the first encounter with him. But how do you make a pussy recognize Mr. Cox?
Theoretically, if Mr. Richards had a dick, he could have personally gotten those pussy hubs acquainted with Mr. Cox one at a time. Yet, even if that were a possibility, this process would take a long time. After all, how many pussies could Mr. Cox properly visit in a course of a day and how many days would it take to inoculate all Randy’s pussy hubs? But since that was no longer an option, this calculation was rather moot.
Yet the novelty of Randy’s idea was to inoculate his pussy hubs through a two-step message passing.
At first step, Randy’s spoke agents would obtain from Lucy essential information about her husband’s cock and form a message to be passed on.
At the second step, the agents would disseminate the message to, or to be more specific, inseminate with that message, all Randy’s pussy hubs. Once meeting Mr. Cox, pussies would be on full alert to recognize him on the spot and request reinforcements in a timely manner.
The two-step math also worked well. According to Randy’s pussy-cock calculus, in a course of a day, Lucy’s pussy could properly pass the message to somewhat dozen cocks. Even taking into consideration cock’s inferior to pussy daily messaging rate, a dozen cocks working in parallel could inoculate all his pussy hubs in a few days.
“Randy, you are a genius” exclaimed Dr. Schlongeist, “I am proud of you!”
“Wait for a second, does that mathematical charade mean that you are planning to have my wife gangbanged by a dozen of your goons?” said Mr. Richards with indignation.
Randy was undeterred.
“Yes, that is what we are going to do.
I have a responsibility to protect my network and the security of certain people and if it takes a little pussyboarding here and there, then hell yes, this is what is going to happen.”
“What is the problem, are you jealous?” he continued, “I think that the man whose cock is running around this town hitting on pussies left and right has no moral authority on being jealous. And do you want your cock back? Because until that happens, this pussyboarding is probably the only action your lovely wife is going to get. I do not hear her complaining.”
Randy looked at Lucy, then at Mr. Richards, and concluded, “I mean what I say and to make sure that I mean business, I will be the first one to get that highly important message from your wife so that I could personally pass it on to my hubs.”
“Everybody please calm down,” intervened Dr. Schlongeist. “Mr. and Mrs. Richards, please accept my sincere apology. When you hear him speak, you would think that Randy is an asshole of biblical proportions, and he is. But in addition to that, he is a brilliant man, and he means well if you think about what he said, rather than how he said it.”
“Sir, let me assure you that no harm will be done to your wife. For my pussyboarding method to result in proper message passing, she must experience utmost pleasure all the time, and each and every her encounter must culminate in an orgasm, I guarantee it personally,” he said to Mr. Richards.
“I will attend to your wife right after Randy and make sure that everything is done in the best way possible.”
“The way it should work,” Dr. Schlongeist was now addressing both of them, “is for you to be together through this experience and for Lucy to think as much as possible about her husband to make that information loaded into every cock she works with.”
It was hard to tell what made Lucy agree with Randy and Dr. Schlongeist; she was not sure herself. Perhaps it was their irrefutable logic, or it was her sincere desire to help her husband, or to protect the national security from the clear and present danger. Or maybe it was the excitement before the unknown that was racing through her mind, prompted by the refreshed recollection of recently-experienced pussyboarding by two CIA agents, albeit fake but so very skillful in their questioning techniques. Or quite possibly it was visibly bulging expression of Randy’s and Dr. Schlongeist’s undisguised and surely professional interest in her that did not escape Lucy’s attention. Or it was just all of the above.
“You know honey, we really need to get this done, after all, this is a true national security threat,” said Lucy, and the matter was settled.
~~~~
The interrogation room was big and looked more like a bridal suite in Las Vegas. It was furnished with several chairs and a few pillows scattered here and there, but the centerpiece of the room was an obscenely gigantic bed. Lucy and Mr. Richards were sitting on the bed awaiting whatever was coming when Randy’s impetuous figure rushed through the door.
“Sorry I am late, had to urgently line up my guys for you, ma’am. Believe me, I got you my best people!”
“You sir should have the honors to undress your wife,” he said turning to Mr. Richards while removing his jacket and tie, “or would you need my help with that?”
“Pay no attention to him, he is deliberately trying to rub you the wrong way,” Lucy quietly said to her husband, as she began to understand Randy’s game, “this is just a play, let’s go along with it and we will be fine. Unzip my dress in the back.”
Mr. Richards did what she said. The dress fell off, Lucy stepped out of it while looking at Randy removing his shirt and exposing his torso, muscular and well-toned. Mr. Richards unhooked Lucy’s bra. Randy came close, pretended that he did not notice Lucy’s magnificent breasts, and slid his massive hand into her panties.
“You heard what Dr. Schlongeist said, this whole thing must be about your husband. To make this work, you will be showing me what your husband likes, and I will be doing that to you. After that, you could tell me who is better, me or him.”
“You are such a dick,” said Lucy feeling with disgust and excitement how his words were making her horny and how wet she was getting under his hand probing her underneath.
“You have no idea,” smiled Randy, kicked off his shoes and removed his pants and boxers, “but you are about to find out.”
Randy moved close, grabbed her ass with his both hands, and pulled her in to make his massive cock rub her belly.
“Does your husband like your mouth? Show me how he likes it.”
“Yes,” gasped Lucy and knelt in front of him.
Lucy tried to focus on her husband, but it was not easy even though he was sitting there just a few feet away from her face being fucked by that disgusting, she thought, abhorrent, crazy and wonderful Randy the Dick with that cock of his… No, not really bigger than my husband’s or maybe just a tiny bit bigger and a little heavier and not as smooth but a bit rugged, a real dick like that fucking Randy himself, oh he fucks my face so good.
Oh finally, he found my breasts with his grabbing hands, what a dick, pretending he did not notice my girls, how dared he. I will suck your dick, I will make you cum to my mouth, what are you going to do then if I do not cum on your cock, no message for you to pass onto those pussy whore of yours, I will make you look like a pathetic loser …
“Does your husband like to tittifuck you?”
And without waiting for her answer, Randy picked her up and threw her on the bed face up, grabbed her breasts and slid in between them his cock wet from his sampling of her mouth and growled with pleasure.
“I do not know if he does but I do now and I see you like it too. You slutty wife, you enjoy pussyboarding, don’t you? Say it to your husband, tell him the truth. You won’t? Yes, you will, just let me fuck you for real, enough of that titty sampling. You want my cock in your pussy, don’t you? Then tell that husband of yours to remove your panties for me. He did? You are ready? Let me check.”
Randy’s hand laid flat on her pussy. Her panties were gone taken off by almost invisible Mr. Richards. Randy moved backward, spread her legs, set his knees in between, the tip of his cock found the entrance. That cave needed no sesame to open.
“Randy’s cock is coming directly to you, full service, home delivery. We are going to fuck you good here, while your husband’s dick is on a run fucking around. My boys and I are going to take good care of you, they are outside, stroking their big cocks, getting ready, waiting for their turn.
"We are going to find out everything about you. Your pussy will talk, one cock at a time. Or maybe you prefer two at a time? That could be arranged. Do you want your husband to listen how you whimper and moan under cross-examination by two agents, to watch you filled with their inquisitive cocks leaving no passage for any information to escape them?
"Yeah, make your husband hear how you moan under me. Do you moan for him that loud too? You do? Oh, this feels good, your pussy is so tight, do you feel how well we fit together, you and I? Is my cock better than your husband’s? No?
"How about now?
"Oh, I see how you do not like it, how you are arching your back, I feel how you are pushing up to meet me halfway. Still not better than your husband? No?!
"I feel your nails in my back, I can hear you, baby, loud and clear, yes I am getting your message, oh it is so hot, my cock is getting all of it now. Oh, you are such a good girl. Have you told me everything? I need you to tell me again. Yes, you can, I can feel it, you have one more for me, yes, yes, baby, you are such a good wife to your husband.
"I will give it to you too, I have plenty of cum for you to fill you all the way up. Getting it? Here’s is one more, and another one…”
“Oooh, Randy, you are such a dick!”
~~~~
Lucy liked Dr. Schlongeist from the moment she met him, she liked intelligent men and she was glad to see him when he entered the interrogation room.
He looked nothing like Randy and he was nothing like Randy with her. He was smooth and gentle when his hands examined all of her. She opened her legs for him and he made her feel loved and beautiful both outside and inside when his cock reached the bottom of her pussy.
“Tell me about your husband,” he whispered in her ear when he flipped her around and re-entered her from behind. Lucy tried but she could not, being fully dominated by the pleasure with which that man was filling her. She kept trying and trying, hiding her moans in the pillow, cumming onto his cock and then cumming again when the warmth of his cum completed her.
~~~~
After Dr. Schlongeist left, everything became simple and clear in her mind. Randy’s agents were coming one after another and she would welcome each one of them to her pussy, guide them to make her cum on their deliciously throbbing cocks, please their cocks with her gushing pussy and make them cum wherever they wanted to. For that instant, she belonged to each one of them, and to each one of them her pussy kept telling more and more about her husband.
~~~~
It took the agents a few days to spread the message to all the hubs, one pussy at a time. It did not always work from the first attempt and some pussy hub agents complained to Randy requesting a repeat briefing.
Randy never refused and briefed them personally to fully address their concerns and resolve all the ambiguities.
“Oooh, Randy, you are such a dick,” they kept saying after taking in his cum.
~~~~
And thanks to all their hard work, in a few days the trap on Mr. Cox was set.
End of Chapter 1.
APPENDIX. Pussyboarding 101
A quarter of a century ago, Dr. Schlongeist discovered unique two-way information channels between the human brain and the genitals. In that work, he unscrambled the mechanism that forms the foundation of what is commonly known as pussyboarding.
As explained in Dr. Schlongeist's seminal monograph “The ENIGMA Method,” pussyboarding, is a colloquialism, albeit a catchy one. The full name of his method is Erotic Neurogenital Information Gathering, Management & Analytics, or ENIGMA.
The ENIGMA method is based on three major principles:
- In cum we trust: our most truthful thoughts and desires hidden in brainwaves generated at the time of sexual intercourse get biometrically encrypted and stored in semen, in vaginal secretion, and to a lesser extent in saliva concurrently generated by each entity participating in the intercourse.
- Cum can be hacked: if the intercourse is consensual and culminates in orgasm, the encryption becomes unlocked by the human brain of the sender of the fluid.
- Cum hacking can be taught: if trained, the recipient of the fluid can comprehend the decrypted information.
The rest of the book that provides detailed instructions on pussyboaring training cannot be provided here as the information remains classified.
