Emotional attachment during sex

I've had "scratch an itch sex" and sex with partners I really cared for very much. I feel like the sex is better (for me at least) if I care about my partner. I would even go so far as to say the orgasm was better because I was more aroused.

I prefer negotiable securities -- gold, precious stones, that Lempica over the fireplace...

I would never have sex with someone without an emotional connection. Sex is fun, sure... but without an emotional connection with my partner I just can't bring myself to stay all that hard. Doesn't need to necessarily be a romantic, dating connection but I need to at least be very, very good friends with a girl before we get in bed.

Emotional connection definitely makes the sex better. No doubt.

However, it doesn't need to be passionate love. Just connecting with the person on some level helps. My favorite escort and I connected over (besides the envelope of cash) shared interests like books we both liked which I think improved things sexually.

That said, sometimes you just gotta scratch that itch and I have had and enjoyed that kind of sex.

Spiritual emotional friendship love.. when you fuck my body you get me. I’m rare and precious. If that’s not your vibe that is so ok.. just pull up your desire and walk away.. no hard feelings.

Needs must but an emotional connection takes sex to a different level.

It has changed over the years. When I was young, I'd fuck anything, anytime, and just about anywhere. As I've aged, emotional attachment has become more important. I am fortunate to have experienced the ideal relationship for eight years. She was the love of my life. We were married for seven years. We never had a fight. Sex with her was ecstatic - open and free - no inhibitions - no judgments. I lost her to cancer about four years ago. I haven't been with anyone since and at my age, I doubt I ever will. Age and experience has taught me there's more to sex than just getting my rocks off. I've experienced the best because of that emotional attraction. I couldn't settle for anything less anymore.

Emotional attachment has never been needed cause it was just a fuck.

It's different when dating.

If there's no emotional connection, it's just using another person's body to masturbate.

None needed, but it makes it times better. Even fuck-buddies develop it.

I think that emotional attachment adds something else. Something unique that can create an out-of-body experience of lust. I cant describe it, but everything feels more intimate and really does push the boundaries.

I can enjoy casual sex without a strong emotional connection, but only if I feel some potential of building to that. Sex where I know beforehand it’s a one-night-stand will not feel as good to me. On the flip side, the next morning is always sobering… More fine with emotionless one-night-stands in hindsight.

A emotional connection definitely makes things better. Doesn’t have to be an “I-love-you” connection, but some sense of mutual affection is a must. If and when I ultimately slip the surly bonds of matrimonial monogamy and finally seek other guys for sex, I’m still going to want to video chat or preferably meet for coffee first, to get to know and like each other just a little bit. Can’t imagine getting into the anonymous scene, though for MM it would be easy enough.

Quote by joe71
Can’t imagine getting into the anonymous scene

Sampled it a bit. You're quite right on this point. Whether my next relationship (if there is a next relationship) is straight or gay, some kind of connection is needed if only being "friends with benefits".

Quote by Meagananne1986
How important is it for you to have a deep, personal emotional attachment to the person you're having sex with? Would you rather make love to someone or simply just suck, fuck or whatever?

For me, sex would never satisfying with the emotional attachment, the relationship between my lover and myself. Sex without it would be without meaning, too transitory for me.

When I was much younger, I just wanted to "fuck" something. I wanted the emotional attachment, but it wasn't necessary. I wasn't a "slut." I cheated on my (mean, angry, always find something to bitch about) wife twice, and got caught both times - the second time ended the marriage. We'd have divorced much sooner if not for a child. I was divorced for 30 years. In almost all cases, I was with women I was having a relationship with. I could count my one-night stands on one hand. Then, at 63, I met the love of my life and married her. Cancer took her after eight years of being together. I recently began a non-sexual relationship with a woman I've fallen in love with. We know that if sex were involved, it would change the relationship, probably for the worse. I have secret fantasies I told my wife about. I never lived out any of those fantasies, but I was free to tell her about them. That was vitally important for me, just to feel free enough to be that open. I no longer have any desire to live out those fantasies, so there's no need to divulge them to my new girlfriend. If we were to have sex, I would feel it essential to be free to tell her about them - not to live them out, but to feel free enough to not hold anything back. "Here, this is part of who I am" on a most intimate level. At this point in my life, that's the level of trust I would require before having sex with anyone.

Quote by gbakere

When I was much younger, I just wanted to "fuck" something. I wanted the emotional attachment, but it wasn't necessary. I wasn't a "slut." I cheated on my (mean, angry, always find something to bitch about) wife twice, and got caught both times - the second time ended the marriage. We'd have divorced much sooner if not for a child. I was divorced for 30 years. In almost all cases, I was with women I was having a relationship with. I could count my one-night stands on one hand. Then, at 63, I met the love of my life and married her. Cancer took her after eight years of being together. I recently began a non-sexual relationship with a woman I've fallen in love with. We know that if sex were involved, it would change the relationship, probably for the worse. I have secret fantasies I told my wife about. I never lived out any of those fantasies, but I was free to tell her about them. That was vitally important for me, just to feel free enough to be that open. I no longer have any desire to live out those fantasies, so there's no need to divulge them to my new girlfriend. If we were to have sex, I would feel it essential to be free to tell her about them - not to live them out, but to feel free enough to not hold anything back. "Here, this is part of who I am" on a most intimate level. At this point in my life, that's the level of trust I would require before having sex with anyone.

I'd like a real bf, someone to have normal fun relationship.

he has to be very close in age - so sex would be just handholding and titty feeling.

I would reveal just my past legit boyfriends - and I would gloss over those.

I wouldn't tell of my more active sexual activities.

Every time I have had sex there has been an attachment of some sort or the other. I have not “been in love” for a very long time and don’t anticipate that will change. Lasting friendships and caring are frequently the result of simply knowing someone not necessarily the result of sex.

Quote by mmmmm_wong

I'd like a real bf, someone to have normal fun relationship.

he has to be very close in age - so sex would be just handholding and titty feeling.

I would reveal just my past legit boyfriends - and I would gloss over those.

I wouldn't tell of my more active sexual activities.

I understand what you're saying, but my deepest desire has always been to be in a full-on relationship where fear is non-existent. I don't want to be afraid of exposing myself on any level. I don't want to be afraid of being judged or have anything about me to be unacceptable, and I want my partner to be able to embrace that same level of freedom. In the eight years my wife and I were together, we never had a fight - never a cross word. I know that's a very rare relationship, especially when we did virtually everything together. She was my lover, my confidant, my best friend, and my favorite "buddy" to hang out with. In my opinion, that level of closeness requires full acceptance of each other and the only way two people can achieve that is through full disclosure. I was so lucky to have found her and been able to have that experience.