Fellow Lushies, what think ye?

1 Feb 2015

Quote by playsit
I'll do my best to keep this short. I am recoverring from prostate cancer treatment, which left me with some ED issues. I'm told my virility will return along with my passion, to be patient, take some Viagra-type pills to help out and keep trying.

The other day, I took the pill then asked my wife if she would join me in bed since physical touch helps activate its effects. She looked at me and said "Please don't make me do that" to which I responded "I don't need you to join me but it would so much better if you did". Long story short, I started by myself and she joined me later feeling guilty. Afterwards, I felt like shit that she would say that to begin with, then felt like it was just sympathy sex.

I have not responded to her touch for a year and she tells me it affects her sexuality, that she feels selfish having an orgasm when I can't, that it's incomplete without feeling me inside her, that she feels like a prostitute offering sex when she doesn't feel it, yada, yada.

I'd love to hear from my Lush community about this whole thing from both a guys and gals viewpoint. Can you ladies understand her thoughts? Would you ignore them to help a person you supposedly love? Any guys understand my reactions to all this or am I over thinking things?

I read read over the thread - and formed some thoughts that may or may not go along with what's already been said.

Foremost - congratulations for your recovery! That's such a wonderful thing. I don't it doesn't always feel that way given the problems that can come as a result of such a health challenge - but it's still wonderful.

My thoughts on your situation:

#1) The way you've written this experience (I took a pill - I asked my wife to help me out) suggest that perhaps intimacy in general is a bit fractured. Understandably - people tend to equate intimacy WITH sex and sexual satisfaction after a time . . . however, kisses, touches not meant to arrouse - this creates and maintain a physical connection with your loved one.

When one is ailing - physical casual touches become fewer and further between sometimes. When you're sick you might not want to, if you've had a bad day she might not want to, etc. It's normal - it happens - it sucks.

So perhaps focus on rebuilding your intimate relationship even without trying to initiate any level of sex would do well for both of you.

#2) When you want to try to engage in sexual-related activities involve your wife, not just in the 'try to get me hard' phase - but in the decision in the beginning. At least a conversation about it before you do this: "I took the pill then asked my wife if she would join me in bed since physical touch helps activate its effects"

Here - you choosing to pop a get-hard pill and then trying to involve her is somewhat backwards. Here I can see how she might feel like 'a prostitute' (though I think her saying that is going a bit to an extreme). But still - her sexual interests at that moment -- did they occur to you? Maybe she was having a bad day and even without the cancer and the pills - she wouldn't have wanted to.

#3) age . . . hormones. Women, as they age, seem to grow away from sex. Quite a few men on Lush are in a sexless marriage because the wife has lost that zeal. It's highly possible that some of what she's experiencing is part of this natural development that some women go through and unrelated to you entirely.

1 Feb 2015

Quote by playsit
I'll do my best to keep this short. I am recoverring from prostate cancer treatment, which left me with some ED issues. I'm told my virility will return along with my passion, to be patient, take some Viagra-type pills to help out and keep trying.

The other day, I took the pill then asked my wife if she would join me in bed since physical touch helps activate its effects. She looked at me and said "Please don't make me do that" to which I responded "I don't need you to join me but it would so much better if you did". Long story short, I started by myself and she joined me later feeling guilty. Afterwards, I felt like shit that she would say that to begin with, then felt like it was just sympathy sex.

I have not responded to her touch for a year and she tells me it affects her sexuality, that she feels selfish having an orgasm when I can't, that it's incomplete without feeling me inside her, that she feels like a prostitute offering sex when she doesn't feel it, yada, yada.

I'd love to hear from my Lush community about this whole thing from both a guys and gals viewpoint. Can you ladies understand her thoughts? Would you ignore them to help a person you supposedly love? Any guys understand my reactions to all this or am I over thinking things?

Well for starters, you shouldn't feel so blasé about your wife's feelings.

There isn't anything we can tell you that your wife already hasn't, or hasn't been trying to tell you.

So listen to her.

The situation you described sounds like she was coerced into it by you after already expressing her unwillingness, but she went through it anyway to appease you. If you've never been in that position, then you'll never understand what that does to a person. It's unpleasant (that's an understatement). Don't be so quick to downplay it as sympathy sex, because I guarantee you that it's much, much deeper than that.

You say you felt like shit afterwards. Multiply that by 100, and that's how she felt.

It may not seem like such a big deal, but to your wife, you need a pill in order to have sex with her. It may not be rational given your ailments, but that's her state of mind. So to pop a pill after over a year of being physically unresponsive to her and say 'Hey baby, let's get this cracking' and expect things to happen without a hitch is naive at best.

This is something that you need to address with your wife, because if you don't, it's only downhill from here.

It's great that you've come such a long way given your illness and treatments. Lots of people never reach the point you have.

But in these situations, communication is key. Talk through these things.

When your wife finally came around and joined you, did you tell her how sexy she was and how good she was making you feel? Prior to getting things started, did you tell her how much she turns you on and how much you needed her and how glad you were for the opportunity and ability to make love to her again? That would have gone a long way and probably would have yielded a better outcome.

It seems like between the both of you, there's been a lot that's been unsaid. Communicate, communicate, and communicate again. You've both been through a traumatic time together, don't take that for granted.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall

2 Feb 2015

Quote by Dani

Well for starters, you shouldn't feel so blasé about your wife's feelings.

There isn't anything we can tell you that your wife already hasn't, or hasn't been trying to tell you.

So listen to her.

The situation you described sounds like she was coerced into it by you after already expressing her unwillingness, but she went through it anyway to appease you. If you've never been in that position, then you'll never understand what that does to a person. It's unpleasant (that's an understatement). Don't be so quick to downplay it as sympathy sex, because I guarantee you that it's much, much deeper than that.

You say you felt like shit afterwards. Multiply that by 100, and that's how she felt.

It may not seem like such a big deal, but to your wife, you need a pill in order to have sex with her. It may not be rational given your ailments, but that's her state of mind. So to pop a pill after over a year of being physically unresponsive to her and say 'Hey baby, let's get this cracking' and expect things to happen without a hitch is naive at best.

This is something that you need to address with your wife, because if you don't, it's only downhill from here.

It's great that you've come such a long way given your illness and treatments. Lots of people never reach the point you have.

But in these situations, communication is key. Talk through these things.

When your wife finally came around and joined you, did you tell her how sexy she was and how good she was making you feel? Prior to getting things started, did you tell her how much she turns you on and how much you needed her and how glad you were for the opportunity and ability to make love to her again? That would have gone a long way and probably would have yielded a better outcome.

It seems like between the both of you, there's been a lot that's been unsaid. Communicate, communicate, and communicate again. You've both been through a traumatic time together, don't take that for granted.

I think this is a little harsh Dani tbh.

Man had cancer could have died and had no sexual appetite in all that time whilst he was sick..that sucks for him I am sure.

After a year he finally gets it back through meds the Docs say to use. Who can blame him for being a little over excited and wanting to be with her, have her touch him?

He is asking for help on how to make it better with his wife, that strikes me as him not being a selfish lover viagra makes you horny if he took some especially after a year without sex then he was likely on fire...only he can correct me if I am wrong but im sure his hormones were raging.

He asked for help and our advice on how it can work with him and his wife re their sex life not I am sorry for us to be judgemental or criticize when we don't have all the facts.

I am not saying he or she is wrong they need to work on it like i've previously said, I am sure his sexual ego took a huge dent at being refused, the same as hers did or possibly did with him having to take meds to get aroused after so long of him being inactive.

I've suggested he post in Aunt Olivia, seems to me he wants to fix this and hopefully she does too.

I also do agree tho... did he say those things you said eg how much he loved her how much she aroused him ect all this could have helped but also he was on viagra and turned on for the first time in ages sometimes a mans dick just speaks for him does it not?

The Duchess of Tart

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https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

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2 Feb 2015

Quote by kiera

I think this is a little harsh Dani tbh.

Man had cancer could have died and had no sexual appetite in all that time whilst he was sick..that sucks for him I am sure.

After a year he finally gets it back through meds the Docs say to use. Who can blame him for being a little over excited and wanting to be with her, have her touch him?

He is asking for help on how to make it better with his wife, that strikes me as him not being a selfish lover viagra makes you horny if he took some especially after a year without sex then he was likely on fire...only he can correct me if I am wrong but im sure his hormones were raging.

He asked for help and our advice on how it can work with him and his wife re their sex life not I am sorry for us to be judgemental or criticize when we don't have all the facts.

I am not saying he or she is wrong they need to work on it like i've previously said, I am sure his sexual ego took a huge dent at being refused, the same as hers did or possibly did with him having to take meds to get aroused after so long of him being inactive.

I've suggested he post in Aunt Olivia, seems to me he wants to fix this and hopefully she does too.

I also do agree tho... did he say those things you said eg how much he loved her how much she aroused him ect all this could have helped but also he was on viagra and turned on for the first time in ages sometimes a mans dick just speaks for him does it not?

He asked for our opinions, I gave mine.

You're free to do the same independent of mine.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall

2 Feb 2015

Quote by Dani

He asked for our opinions, I gave mine.

You're free to do the same independent of mine.

Is the Aunt Olivia thread not their to help?

2 Feb 2015

Quote by kiera

Is the Aunt Olivia thread not their to help?

Indeed it is.

But it's got nothing to do with you admonishing me for offering an opinion I was asked for.

If the OP takes issue with it, he's free to tell me so himself.

We've hijacked this thread enough. If you've anymore issues with my opinions and the way I express them, my inbox is open.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall

2 Feb 2015

Talk to your wife. Maybe you both can get help and work through your issues togather

Have lots of fun

2 Feb 2015

Quote by Dani

Indeed it is.

But it's got nothing to do with you admonishing me for offering an opinion I was asked for.

If the OP takes issue with it, he's free to tell me so himself.

We've hijacked this thread enough. If you've anymore issues with my opinions and the way I express them, my inbox is open.

I didnt admonish you dani,,i agreed with alot of what u siad.

2 Feb 2015

Quote by playsit

You betcha Adagio. We've heard from the professionals, but basically we are left to struggle through this on our own because of the hormone treatment. All they can do is tell us it will get better in time, which doesn't really help in everyday life.

This bothers me. Have you been to an independent relationship counsellor? It might help you both to talk about this without any focus on the medical side of things. Concentrate on the emotional side of it. You both know what has brought about these issues. It seems to me the issue that needs addressing is how to relax enough to communicate properly.

Sometimes we need a little help sorting our thoughts out in a way to achieve this. Try taking it away from the medical POV.

My new Flash Fiction:

An Extraordinary Orgasm.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2

2 Feb 2015

Quote by kiera

If she wont help with her hands have you asked if she will use her mouth??

Sorry I will be serious now...have you tried posting in the Aunt Olivia forum thread?? Perhaps posting in there will get you a better response to your query.

Is it possible during all this she may have sought comfort with someone else? I am sorry to ask but it does happen sadly?

Please don't apologize for humor - laughter is healthy. I've not heard of Aunt Olivia, I'll have to look her up. I'm very happy with the responses here. People have offered well thought out comments. Even the ones that may seem a little harsh have buried in the text some thoughts worthy of consideration.

You know Kiera, she could go her entire life without sex and it wouldn't bother her. The fact that she responds to my touch is amazing. Never say never, but I'd be completely shocked if she found comfort with someone else. Good thought though.

2 Feb 2015

Quote by Weavindreams

"Medical professionals" CAN and DO help to an extent... BUT what they CANNOT provide for either of you is what Kiera and I have both been addressing, each in our own way. And that is loving conversations that build bridges of understanding between the two of you. UNLESS and until that happens the problems ... for BOTH of you... will persist, simple as that.

There can never be too much communication WD... in any relationship. We talk alot about this, but probably not enough. I hear you though. Thank you.

2 Feb 2015

Quote by Metilda

#1) The way you've written this experience (I took a pill - I asked my wife to help me out) suggest that perhaps intimacy in general is a bit fractured. Understandably - people tend to equate intimacy WITH sex and sexual satisfaction after a time . . . however, kisses, touches not meant to arrouse - this creates and maintain a physical connection with your loved one.

When one is ailing - physical casual touches become fewer and further between sometimes. When you're sick you might not want to, if you've had a bad day she might not want to, etc. It's normal - it happens - it sucks.

So perhaps focus on rebuilding your intimate relationship even without trying to initiate any level of sex would do well for both of you.

#2) When you want to try to engage in sexual-related activities involve your wife, not just in the 'try to get me hard' phase - but in the decision in the beginning. At least a conversation about it before you do this: "I took the pill then asked my wife if she would join me in bed since physical touch helps activate its effects"

Here - you choosing to pop a get-hard pill and then trying to involve her is somewhat backwards. Here I can see how she might feel like 'a prostitute' (though I think her saying that is going a bit to an extreme). But still - her sexual interests at that moment -- did they occur to you? Maybe she was having a bad day and even without the cancer and the pills - she wouldn't have wanted to.

#3) age . . . hormones. Women, as they age, seem to grow away from sex. Quite a few men on Lush are in a sexless marriage because the wife has lost that zeal. It's highly possible that some of what she's experiencing is part of this natural development that some women go through and unrelated to you entirely.

Your first thought reminded me of a few things regarding intimacy. The hormone drugs completely removed my passion to the point she had to remind me to kiss her bye. I had to have my phone set for alarms to remind me to send her a random text... something that was automatic for me. She told me my kisses were empty and even my touch was different. She jokingly called me Lenny. My soul wasn't there.

Second, your thought about the way I went about everything is probably spot on. Sometimes frustration gets the best of me.

Third, again... you are right. There is some of that happening. I understand a lot of that since my testosterone was removed. From moodiness to hot flashes. She actually took great joy in my going through that. I had it coming, so I just laughed along with her. I told her for years her thermostat was broke. It really does suck though. I feel for all you ladies that are going through that.

Thank you for your thoughts

2 Feb 2015

Quote by playsit

Your first thought reminded me of a few things regarding intimacy. The hormone drugs completely removed my passion to the point she had to remind me to kiss her bye. I had to have my phone set for alarms to remind me to send her a random text... something that was automatic for me. She told me my kisses were empty and even my touch was different. She jokingly called me Lenny. My soul wasn't there.

Second, your thought about the way I went about everything is probably spot on. Sometimes frustration gets the best of me.

Third, again... you are right. There is some of that happening. I understand a lot of that since my testosterone was removed. From moodiness to hot flashes. She actually took great joy in my going through that. I had it coming, so I just laughed along with her. I told her for years her thermostat was broke. It really does suck though. I feel for all you ladies that are going through that.

Thank you for your thoughts

Here's a thought because I just re-read your bio. You're a romantic, what about a little roleplay on your part. Don't tell your wife.
Start dating her. Go back to what got her interested in you. Don't be in a rush to have sex, you took your time I presume, we all did. Get her to the point where she wants you as much as you want her.
It may just work.

2 Feb 2015

I have a situation not totally unlike yours. My wife doesn't want sex. She had it when we were first together and we have three kids (one daughter from previous marriage (her Dad was killed) that I adopted) and two with us. Once the last was born, she had tubes tied and no matter circumstances just didn't want sex and occasionally would let me "have her" really no passion so not enjoyable to her or me. I can get that much passion and thrill beating my meat and cumming. I love her, great cook, good marriage partner, kind-hearted, just sex not for her.

So what then, sex magazines, porn sites, blue movies etc. Now in my late sixties, erectile issues and thanks to Lush and the people I've met and chatted, rp'd and talked on phone with I have regained some sexual fun. I also found that I am very interested in exploring my bi-curious streak and wanting to have male/male relations as a bottom to give me sexual satisfaction. I have done some self sex with dildo and anal plugs and some household item insertions that really pleased me emotionally and physically.

So what I am saying is, explore your own path and satisfy yourself to keep your happiness and if she will participate with you some for mutual satisfaction or, at least, interaction...so much the better. But do what you need to continue your path of self-respect and self-enjoyment because you will live with yourself longer than anyone else in your life.

Sorry so long but thoughts kept popping up. Kisses and Hugs, to you sweet readers, and forgive rambling dissertation.

A determined person with perseverance can overcome many obstacles. They can, many times, perform better than those who are more intelligent, stronger and with better finances by determination and perseverance

2 Feb 2015

Quote by Dani

Well for starters, you shouldn't feel so blasé about your wife's feelings.

There isn't anything we can tell you that your wife already hasn't, or hasn't been trying to tell you.

So listen to her.

The situation you described sounds like she was coerced into it by you after already expressing her unwillingness, but she went through it anyway to appease you. If you've never been in that position, then you'll never understand what that does to a person. It's unpleasant (that's an understatement). Don't be so quick to downplay it as sympathy sex, because I guarantee you that it's much, much deeper than that.

You say you felt like shit afterwards. Multiply that by 100, and that's how she felt.

It may not seem like such a big deal, but to your wife, you need a pill in order to have sex with her. It may not be rational given your ailments, but that's her state of mind. So to pop a pill after over a year of being physically unresponsive to her and say 'Hey baby, let's get this cracking' and expect things to happen without a hitch is naive at best.

This is something that you need to address with your wife, because if you don't, it's only downhill from here.

It's great that you've come such a long way given your illness and treatments. Lots of people never reach the point you have.

But in these situations, communication is key. Talk through these things.

When your wife finally came around and joined you, did you tell her how sexy she was and how good she was making you feel? Prior to getting things started, did you tell her how much she turns you on and how much you needed her and how glad you were for the opportunity and ability to make love to her again? That would have gone a long way and probably would have yielded a better outcome.

It seems like between the both of you, there's been a lot that's been unsaid. Communicate, communicate, and communicate again. You've both been through a traumatic time together, don't take that for granted.

Firstly, thank you for taking time to comment. I appreciate all feedback, especially well thought out responces.

Blase' is never how I approach her feelings, I can see how it may have come across that way. You raise some good points though. Fair enough, maybe sympathy sex was not how I should have felt, but that was my initial reactionary thought, good or bad.

Also, this was not an all of a sudden thing. From the day I found out I had cancer, we read books together describing treatments and the challenges we'd late face. We discussed the importance of making sure my nerve endings stayed sensitive. Every time we talked about it her response was "yeah, I know", but nI thing ever became of it. That's where the frustration was born.

You also bring up a good point. I do not remember offering words of affirmation. I guess once I got started alone, it became more of a medical necessity than loving intimacy. My passion is returning, but I still need to be mindful of these things as it's not natural at the present.

2 Feb 2015

Quote by kiera

After a year he finally gets it back through meds the Docs say to use. Who can blame him for being a little over excited and wanting to be with her, have her touch him?

He is asking for help on how to make it better with his wife, that strikes me as him not being a selfish lover viagra makes you horny if he took some especially after a year without sex then he was likely on fire...only he can correct me if I am wrong but im sure his hormones were raging.

Oddly kiera, viagra didn't work that way with me. Actually Viagra didn't do anything, so my doctor gave me another med. I guess without testosterone, it has nothing to team up with. I'm no chemist, so I don't really know how they work. At least withe this new drug my insides feel different. Erections don't just come automatically like I thought and my hormones don't rage sad

maybe one day soon.

2 Feb 2015

Quote by trinket

This bothers me. Have you been to an independent relationship counsellor? It might help you both to talk about this without any focus on the medical side of things. Concentrate on the emotional side of it. You both know what has brought about these issues. It seems to me the issue that needs addressing is how to relax enough to communicate properly.

Sometimes we need a little help sorting our thoughts out in a way to achieve this. Try taking it away from the medical POV.

I wish I could approach this as a relational issue, truth is it's almost all medical. I know I put too much pressure on myself to perform sometimes, but the truth of the matter is all this should go away when the hormone drugs run their course and my testosterone returns. The immediate problem is getting her to participate. Talking it through in this forum has opened my eyes to a few things Trinket.

2 Feb 2015

Quote by dpw

Here's a thought because I just re-read your bio. You're a romantic, what about a little roleplay on your part. Don't tell your wife.
Start dating her. Go back to what got her interested in you. Don't be in a rush to have sex, you took your time I presume, we all did. Get her to the point where she wants you as much as you want her.
It may just work.

Derek, that is a great idea. I just wish I could be spontaneous with this. Guess I'll have to schedule some things. Thank you.

2 Feb 2015

Quote by loverman69
I have a situation not totally unlike yours. My wife doesn't want sex. She had it when we were first together and we have three kids (one daughter from previous marriage (her Dad was killed) that I adopted) and two with us. Once the last was born, she had tubes tied and no matter circumstances just didn't want sex and occasionally would let me "have her" really no passion so not enjoyable to her or me. I can get that much passion and thrill beating my meat and cumming. I love her, great cook, good marriage partner, kind-hearted, just sex not for her.

So what then, sex magazines, porn sites, blue movies etc. Now in my late sixties, erectile issues and thanks to Lush and the people I've met and chatted, rp'd and talked on phone with I have regained some sexual fun. I also found that I am very interested in exploring my bi-curious streak and wanting to have male/male relations as a bottom to give me sexual satisfaction. I have done some self sex with dildo and anal plugs and some household item insertions that really pleased me emotionally and physically.

So what I am saying is, explore your own path and satisfy yourself to keep your happiness and if she will participate with you some for mutual satisfaction or, at least, interaction...so much the better. But do what you need to continue your path of self-respect and self-enjoyment because you will live with yourself longer than anyone else in your life.

There is not much worse than loving a woman who isn't interested in intimacy when your hormones are in high gear. I wentered through that for 25 years until I found out I wasn't fulfilling her needs in her everyday life. When I straightened that out, intimacy was awesome. Take some time for self reflection and check that out.

Oh, right. Sorry we were talking about me. Thank you for your thoughts. I hope it never gets to the point I give up on her.

3 Feb 2015

Quote by playsit

I wish I could approach this as a relational issue, truth is it's almost all medical. I know I put too much pressure on myself to perform sometimes, but the truth of the matter is all this should go away when the hormone drugs run their course and my testosterone returns. The immediate problem is getting her to participate. Talking it through in this forum has opened my eyes to a few things Trinket.

John, what I mean is you don't know the reason for her reticence. You can't fix it if you don't know for sure what it is. Personally I wouldn't Assume things should get better when hormones are "back to normal". I am afraid that you both will not address the problem "until it gets better" only to find that things are never going to be the way they were before your treatment.

From what you've said on this thread it seems to me the situation is tormenting both of you. I agree with Al that you would find more clear answers from a relationship counsellor than on a forum on an erotic story site but of course that's your choice. The reason I suggest counselling is to try to get her to open up to you. You two have been married for a long time. It can't be easy having to adjust to something like this on your own. If all else fails, isn't it worth considering? Just my personal opinion and I sincerely hope this is something you find the answers that you are looking for. Big Hugs

I think the idea DPW suggested is an excellent one. It would be fun for both of you.

My new Flash Fiction:

An Extraordinary Orgasm.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2

3 Feb 2015

Quote by playsit

Derek, that is a great idea. I just wish I could be spontaneous with this. Guess I'll have to schedule some things. Thank you.

I think if you start, the spontanaity will just kick in. If you see her enjoying herself, it will be like a drug. You'll find yourself booking tables at restaurants or theatre tickets, buying flowers or perfume, and you won't be thinking about it.
I don't know how long you two have been married, but you could always renew your vows and take a second honeymoon.
Show her that you're still crazy about her, and you're going to get through this together.

3 Feb 2015

Quote by trinket

John, what I mean is you don't know the reason for her reticence. You can't fix it if you don't know for sure what it is. Personally I wouldn't Assume things should get better when hormones are "back to normal". I am afraid that you both will not address the problem "until it gets better" only to find that things are never going to be the way they were before your treatment.

From what you've said on this thread it seems to me the situation is tormenting both of you. I agree with Al that you would find more clear answers from a relationship counsellor than on a forum on an erotic story site but of course that's your choice. The reason I suggest counselling is to try to get her to open up to you. You two have been married for a long time. It can't be easy having to adjust to something like this on your own. If all else fails, isn't it worth considering? Just my personal opinion and I sincerely hope this is something you find the answers that you are looking for.

I think the idea DPW suggested is an excellent one. It would be fun for both of you.

Thanks trinket. I hear what you're saying. Somehow, we've figured out how to make "us" work. The closest we've been to separating is when we were in counseling. No two different people in the history of mankind have figured out how to coexist like her and I. How's that for over dramatization? Seriously though, we've had therapists look at us and with a shaking head tell us they don't know how we're still married... That was a dozen years ago and we're still together. Do I wish she was more passionate? Hell yeah, but I guess I'm a little gun shy when it comes to our wonderful mental health/counselor professionals.

I too, like what DPW suggested. The steps are small enough even I can handle it smile

3 Feb 2015

My Darling 'MrSit' - just cuddle her, laugh with her and love her.

Just like me, you are long-time married and reality is, illness aside, you are unlikely to swing from the chandeliers, but does that really matter in the grand scale of what you have experienced and lived through together? Loving each other is key.

So glad you are recovered.

M xxx

3 Feb 2015

I have been reading and re-reading this thread with great compassion for both you and your wife. Just such a difficult time for you and such a challenge to re-build your emotional lives together after the turmoil of your serious illness and coping with treatment. I think Derek's advice is inspired, and wish I'd have thought of it! Sending my very best wishes for happier times xx

4 Feb 2015

Quote by Swollen
My Darling 'MrSit' - just cuddle her, laugh with her and love her.

Just like me, you are long-time married and reality is, illness aside, you are unlikely to swing from the chandeliers, but does that really matter in the grand scale of what you have experienced and lived through together? Loving each other is key.

So glad you are recovered.

M xxx

Good to hear from you my long time friend. I do plan to swing from the chandeliers once again. Married for a long time doesn't mean it's ok for passion to fade away... that's just not good enough for me M.

I'm not fully recovered yet, but getting there day by day smile

Thanks for the thoughts

4 Feb 2015

Quote by curvygalore
I have been reading and re-reading this thread with great compassion for both you and your wife. Just such a difficult time for you and such a challenge to re-build your emotional lives together after the turmoil of your serious illness and coping with treatment. I think Derek's advice is inspired, and wish I'd have thought of it! Sending my very best wishes for happier times xx

Just another of life's challenges CG. Many times in life we are presented with obstacles. Some force us to go through and some we have to climb over, if we're to continue down the same path. Some obstacles we are forced to detour around and maybe, just maybe, we can find the same path if we look long enough... or, maybe we stumble across a different path. I'm not ready to find a new path quite yet. life sure is an adventure.

Thank you for the wishes.