Feeling like a fish out of water.

Some of you might remember me from the last time I was active here. It was a while back. I was motivated for a lot of things - To lose weight, to become desirable, to be more sexy. I am growing old, faster than ever, and my biggest fear was growing ugly 'unfulfilled'.

It got to me, my presence on this platform. I ran away, fearing what I had become. But I could not, for long. Mentally, I am at a much worse state now, than I was when i first came here. I feel dark, depraved, and seek thrills that I cannot even talk about openly. I am losing myself. And I hope this time around, I lose myself beyond repair. Yes, I mean it.

Posting something of mine - I am more unfit physically and mentally than I have ever been. But the last few weeks, I have tried to become sexy again. Some have looked at me, and some have body shamed me.

Happy new year, to all you amazing men and women.

Listen you are a beautiful glorious woman! Get out of your head. If it gets worse please consider therapy. Lots of great people on here. Please interact! You will see your value! Ps your weight is fine! Work on your mental health! Am here if you need an ear

Quote by SexyFoolishNun101

Listen you are a beautiful glorious woman! Get out of your head. If it gets worse please consider therapy. Lots of great people on here. Please interact! You will see your value! Ps your weight is fine! Work on your mental health! Am here if you need an ear

Thank you for saying that ! Really...

Your honesty is so brave. Please don't be so hard on yourself—the 'darkness' we feel can be a powerful thing if we stop fighting it. I’m holding so much hope for you this year. I hope you find the fulfillment you’re craving and realize that you aren't 'beyond repair'—you’re just evolving.

Quote by alyson

Your honesty is so brave. Please don't be so hard on yourself—the 'darkness' we feel can be a powerful thing if we stop fighting it. I’m holding so much hope for you this year. I hope you find the fulfillment you’re craving and realize that you aren't 'beyond repair'—you’re just evolving.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. This place is where I feel validated. I know we shouldn't, but I seek it. And I really hope I am able to go beyond my boundaries. I need it. I can't explain why and how much.

Shouldn't worry about your looks too much I wanted to kiss you the second I saw your pics.

Feeling 'dark, depraved or seeking thrills' or pushing boundaries here is perfectly normal. Most or many of us have had our thoughts and behaviours shaped by our respective experiences and cultures. More often than not these treat sex as some subject and that desires are wrong. Its idiotic. Sex is like breathing.

I would just say protect yourself, don't do anything you are not comfortable with and explore Lush....Life is an exploration after all

I'm sorry you feel this way. Life can be a bitch sometimes. And you're not alone. We all feel this way sometimes. In my experience, the feeling or belief that you're all alone in this makes it worse, and you feel like you have no one to turn to, but you do! There are some great people on here. Get the help you need, see a therapist if you need to. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon!

You appear to be a lovely, beautiful woman, and I am disgusted that anyone would body-shame you. I think your body is amazing, and I think you will find plenty of people on Lush who will agree. I hope you find the strength and courage to be(come) the best you that you can be.

I think many (if not most) of us on Lush are here because of dark desires that we can’t talk openly about in front of our IRL friends or loved ones. I know I am. If anything, being able to talk and write about that keeps many of us from going too far off the deep end.