I usually have a couple of scenes that build the sexual tension before getting to the explicit narrative.
In these scenes, I develop the characters with a heavy emphasis on dialogue and fast plot-direction to set the pace. I also use this to set up the "conflict" of the story (either moral, emotional, or sexual). How the characters deal with this conflict or plot-highlight will also give the reader insight into the type of people they are.
I think character development should be subtle and seamless in the storytelling. The reader is getting to know them by watching them react to things. There is no need to tell the reader miscellaneous facts that don't add to the way the plot is going to develop or why they are likely to react the way that they do. Most of the time, the right dialogue style (ie. "what they say and how they say it") will tell you more than enough about the 'type' of character you're trying to create. Don't tell the reader that 'Erica is a haughty, stuck-up bitch', show us that she is.... it's much more effective that way, and it keeps the reader entertained rather than bored with long personality descriptives.
I have some stories where certain characters were introduced at the time of the actual sexual encounter, but again... focusing on the way they move, how they react to the main character and the dialogue *during* the sexual encounter can also effectively flesh out the characters enough for the reader to appreciate their importance in the story.
For me there's always been a huge difference in "being jealous" versus "acting jealous".
I've had a few relationships with narcissistic bad boys that enjoyed pushing my buttons and playing into my competitive side. Some men (and women) love the ego-stroke that comes with making a partner jealous. The fact that I would never openly display jealous feelings because I insisted on being 'the cool girlfriend' (regardless of how I felt) probably didn't help the situation either. In general I wish I had reacted more honestly about what bothered me and not let things slide because I ended up getting screwed over a few times because I insisted on being dismissive about red-flags.
When I'm in a positive relationship and confident in our connection, then the 'jealousy index' is low but not completely absent... which is exactly as it should be. I think a healthy level of jealousy is totally normal and good for a relationship (eg. 1-5). When it's high enough to erode trust and respect, then the relationship is ultimately doomed to fail.
I agree there is a homophobic flavour that taints the concept of the "bisexual man" for a lot of people. And yes, there is definitely a double-standard. Being a bisexual female is socially trendy and plays into male fantasies. The 'bi' guy is still often something that ends up hidden or questioned.
I also think there's a different between a random experimental moment and a guy that is fluidly bisexual and has dated and had relationships with both genders.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that many gay men have come out of the closet who were previously married or identifying as hetero because of social pressures. A woman who knows a man admits to enjoying cock now and then may fear that he's just not come to grips with the fact that he's truly gay and she will end up as his 'social beard' if she is his girlfriend/wife, so they tend to avoid any guy that has these tendencies. Even outwardly bisexual girls seem to have the double-standard when it comes to how they see an experimental guy. It's ok for them, but not for their man.
It may also be that a bisexual guy that submits to another man is seen as a switch (submissive/dominant) and many women don't like to see their man as a submissive. Women are more typical in wanting that dominant/alpha-male in the bedroom and the idea of him on his knees or sucking cock just ruins their perception of him.
I consider myself a very sexually-open person and I've probably brought up at the least the concept of it with most guys I've been involved with (just to check!). None have ever shown any interest. None have reacted hyper-negatively (which to me indicates homophobia, or maybe they really *do* have something to hide...lol) but it's just never been their thing. I will admit if it ever did happen with a guy I was involved with, I probably would have mixed feelings about it, especially if it had been an ongoing thing. The reasons for this perhaps does stem from the fact that I have two female friends that were the 'transition-girlfriends' until their men had the nerve to come out of the closet and identify as gay instead of bisexual, and they felt very hurt/betrayed by the process.
As far as being supportive of bisexual guys though, I'm all for it, and it wouldn't bother me if it was a casual relationship. I'm just not sure how well I would do as the S.O. of one if I'm being totally honest with myself.
If you tell her, you have to be willing to accept "no" for an answer and be willing to let the situation go and not continue to fixate on her if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to.
If you're uncertain if you're able to do this, or if you sense that if she rejects you that it'll be impossible for you to just act like her friend when you see her with another guy, then yeah... you risk blowing up the friendship.
Most people will say "just tell her" but to be honest... of the three male friends that confessed their feelings for me over the years, the friendship pretty much trainwrecked or blew up within the months following. The reasons for this involved various factors: either they kept trying to win me over, there was major awkwardness, the main intention of the 'so-called' friendship was to get with me, or they were just unable to handle seeing me with another guy.
You should be able to get a decent 'vibe' from this girl as to whether or not she's into you at all. It's one thing to ask if you genuinely don't know, but if you have a strong suspicion that she has no desire for you, then I would actually question telling her all this just for the sake of sharing... especially if you think it might ruin things and the friendship has value to you.
I have once.
Who was it with: A guy I was sexually involved with and his friend (who I had just met that night).
Position: Sandwiched in between them, riding one guy while the other was in my ass. The typical sawing in and out motion.
Pleasure, pain or both? Pleasure definitely and a sense of... sexual euphoria? I felt very much in control and confident as the ultimate dirty girl that night. I didn't really have any pain associated with the situation but I had anal with one of the guys before the DP, so I was already 'primed' in a way for double-action to develop.
Hot or Not: Hot!
Something You'd Try again? I would in the right circumstance (very much depending on the guys and the situation). I'm glad I experienced it in general. It's not something I'd want to do all the time, but I think of it more as an experimental sexual treat.
Tips: If you're curious about it or uncertain if you'd like it, have your partner use a dildo on one hole while he's fucking the other. This will give you a similar sensation to a DP and whether it turns you on. Of course, having two guys focused on you is a whole different experience in terms of energy and excitement, but dildo play is a good prelude to deciding if DP is for you.
LOL... after all the talk on the forums about 'sounding' and 'figging', I swear I thought "bonding" might be some new sexual kink involving crazy-glue or something.
It totally depends on time constraints. If I'm motivated and have free days over a weekend (or insomnia), I can finish a story in a couple of days, and then an extra day's evening hours for edits etc. I'd say that as long as I'm not procrastinating, the whole process usually averages around a week.
For me, the plotting is always the most intense part of the process... the writing itself is fairly easy. When I write a story, I always have the plot points very carefully fine-tuned ahead of time, so from there it's more like I'm just describing the 'movie' playing in my mind.
I agree with Missy... go for a small thin vibrator. The Lelo Billy is a nice one and works for both girls and boys. You probably don't need anything bigger than that. You probably want to start with a butt-plug or maybe anal beads if you're new to it and work your way up from there. You can also try a We-Vibe and use one end in your ass and one end in your pussy for self-play. Or you can go for a small (smooth) glass dildo which I quite enjoy for anal play and feels great because it can be warmed prior or put in the freezer for additional stimulation.
I've tried everything I've mentioned above... it's all good, just depends on your mood.
Both fists?? Damn, what porn have you been watching?! LOL
For me the max is three fingers but I prefer just two at a time with skilled movement. I find that in terms of properly fingering a girl, a lot of guys really fuck it up in general. I think I've complained before about guys that use the ram-rod stiff fingers at warp speed and assume it feels good to the girl. It doesn't. You've got to follow the natural curve.
All in all, fingering is fun, especially if you use the thumb on the clit at the same time, but for the most part I much prefer a cock or a vibrator/dildo.
