‘I’m going to put a baby in your girlfriend,’ Max declared as his fingers deftly worked yet another piece of rope into place. Gina groaned exuberantly. I gulped and felt my legs turn to jelly. ‘You guys are both so hot, your kids are gonna be beautiful!’ Sara shrieked, handing Max another length of rope as he bent down beside the bed and roughly slapped my girlfriend’s tits. ‘Do it Maxi,’ Gina insisted, her eyes sparkling...

‘But some are definitely too big,’ Sara added, seemingly trying to reassure me. ‘My previous boyfriend was huge. It was way too much for me. It actually hurt sometimes with him.’ Ape to Angel oozed in the background with a melodic, hypnotic hum. I was stoned, which was impairing my attempts to trace back to when and why we’d begun talking about cock size. I definitely hadn’t brought it up. In truth I’d never thought about...

It was eight minutes past five on a balmy summer’s afternoon in Paris when a beautiful voice reached out to me. I had my head in a dumpster as I tried desperately to heave a refuse sack full of fifty empty bottles of bubbly over, up, and in. ‘Spliff?’ the voice enquired. It had a French edge, laced with irreverent, languid overtures, but more than anything its offering carried hope. I was about to turn and reply when the...