“So, Lizzy,” said Jane, as they walked that morning in the gardens of Netherfield, “How will you bear to be separated from Mr Darcy for so long as a month? I am sure I should miss dear Charles enormously, although to be spared from his nightly attentions to my person would be some relief! Really, sometimes I am quite sore in the morning, and can hardly walk from the pounding he has given to my delicate quim!” “Oh really,...

Elizabeth awoke the following morning from a most enjoyable dream, which from her confused recollection had involved not only herself and her husband, but also her sister Jane and Mr Bingley, plus a variety of kitchen utensils and possibly (although her memory was a little unclear about this) a horse. Even as she awoke she found her nightgown to be bundled up around her waist and her hand nestling inside the dark bush bet...

“Oh Papa,” wailed Lydia, “Why will you not allow me to attend the reception tonight to welcome the regiment to Meryton? Charlotte says that all the officers have been invited, and that afterwards there will be dancing!” Mr Bennet lowered his newspaper and looked sternly at his daughter. “Because, Lydia, last time you consorted with those officers, you returned with your dress covered in distasteful stains, and no undergar...

"Really, Mr Bennet, I do not think I can stand it any longer,” wailed his wife. “I just caught Kitty in the bushes again, this time with two officers. She seemed to have lost most of her clothes again, and whilst one of the officers had his big weapon down her throat, the other one…” “I think I can imagine the scene well enough,” interrupted Mr Bennet hurriedly. “It is most regrettable that Kitty really has no sense of de...

The stable was gloomy, and the dense aroma of horses pervaded the air. The groom’s erect member was both long and broad, and Mr Collins found himself gagging as the man thrust it vigorously down his throat. He grasped the other man’s firm thigh to steady himself with one hand, while with the other he rubbed at his own diminutive organ, which hung limply from the front of his breeches. For some reason he always found it ha...

“Well, Mary, I have some news for you,” said Mr Bennet, putting down the letter that had arrived at Longbourn that afternoon. “This letter is from Mr Bingley. He has been unexpectedly called away to London on a matter of urgent business that is likely to occupy him for several weeks. He is concerned that his sister should not be left without a companion and has written to suggest that one of my daughters might be willing...