Quote by WellMadeMale
There goes the neighborhood.
They let you in here so I thought it was an "anything goes" kinda place.
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They let you in here so I thought it was an "anything goes" kinda place.
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TheDevilsWeakness
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female
Canada
Forum
They let you in here so I thought it was an "anything goes" kinda place.
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Quote by Mazza
You know, I thought this was your first post...
Welcome!! Make yourself at home!!
I always meant to make my way in here, but I made a wrong turn on the bridge and got lost on the parkway and stopped at the community garden and the stone(d) guy gave me the wrong directions. But I finally made it!
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY LM!! I hope you have a fantastic birthday!
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Quote by Mazza
Ooooh, you're like the best party guest EVER!!
Well for my first post in the infamous Big Sandwich thread, I figured I'd better make it good.
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I couldn't decide between trees this year...
OR this one...
But I'll need some help tearing down the first one and some help putting up the second.
OR this one...
But I'll need some help tearing down the first one and some help putting up the second.
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OMFG!! Get off the goddamn phone and go DO something else besides calling me 80 fucking times in a day! THIS is not healthy.
If I don't answer my home phone, you will call (badger the fuck outta me) my cell and/or text me and/or email me and/or message me on fucking facebook.
You will leave 80 fucking messages to call you back, but not why I should call you back. And if I DON'T call you back (cause I know it's utter bullshit), you will try to lay the biggest fucking guilt trip on me over some petty bullshit I couldn't give a rat's ass about anyways! I don't care.
But I do care about the amount of time it takes you to try to guilt me over the fucking phone!
If you can't guilt me in 5 mins or less, GIVE UP! Quit grasping at straws to make me feel guilty. I don't fucking care anymore.
Go get a fucking hobby. I have my own family and shit to do besides listen to you bitch, whine, moan and complain about how my sister doesn't do anything for you and leeches off you. (Cause you know you're entitled to it!) Gimme a fucking break.
You were spoiled. Because I used to do everything for you. Maybe you should've treated her like Cinder-fucking-ella instead of me. Maybe I would've finished school instead of going to work to support your lazy fucking ass after Dad died.
BRAVO!! You've got yourself a selfish 30 yr old parasite. You should be proud. You're the one that raised her that way. You taught her well. Monkey see. Monkey do.
If I don't answer my home phone, you will call (badger the fuck outta me) my cell and/or text me and/or email me and/or message me on fucking facebook.
You will leave 80 fucking messages to call you back, but not why I should call you back. And if I DON'T call you back (cause I know it's utter bullshit), you will try to lay the biggest fucking guilt trip on me over some petty bullshit I couldn't give a rat's ass about anyways! I don't care.
But I do care about the amount of time it takes you to try to guilt me over the fucking phone!
If you can't guilt me in 5 mins or less, GIVE UP! Quit grasping at straws to make me feel guilty. I don't fucking care anymore.
Go get a fucking hobby. I have my own family and shit to do besides listen to you bitch, whine, moan and complain about how my sister doesn't do anything for you and leeches off you. (Cause you know you're entitled to it!) Gimme a fucking break.
You were spoiled. Because I used to do everything for you. Maybe you should've treated her like Cinder-fucking-ella instead of me. Maybe I would've finished school instead of going to work to support your lazy fucking ass after Dad died.
BRAVO!! You've got yourself a selfish 30 yr old parasite. You should be proud. You're the one that raised her that way. You taught her well. Monkey see. Monkey do.
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Quote by SereneProdigy
Damn, some people take things seriously here. This whole subject seems to get to you a lot more than it does to me.
Is it really that hard to believe that some guys actually take care of their physiques and know how to fuck?
You've obviously missed the point of it all. Quit acting like a smug and superior prick. Your constant need to brag about yourself is fucking irritating me.
If you really knew how to fuck, why do you ask so many gawddamn questions?? Shouldn't you just automatically know?
You seem like a nice guy, but damn dude. Quit trying so fucking hard!
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Yes, jealous. It's written all over your reply.
Women love him and men want to be him.
Seriously! C'mon! He gets paid to get laid. I'm jealous of his partners! I can totally admit it.
His confidence is sexy as hell. Unfortunately, you've mistaken "confidence" for a superiority complex and smug cockiness. There is no comparison.
Women love him and men want to be him.
Seriously! C'mon! He gets paid to get laid. I'm jealous of his partners! I can totally admit it.
His confidence is sexy as hell. Unfortunately, you've mistaken "confidence" for a superiority complex and smug cockiness. There is no comparison.
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JAMES DEEN!
Then I read your evil and jealous laden post...
Then I read your evil and jealous laden post...
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Quote by SydneySider
Yet another shameless way to increase your post count. Well done..
Wait a second... LafayetteMister and you told me I could increase my post count by posting my naked boobies on your profile pages.
I'm so not falling for that one again.
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WHY?!?! Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!?! Do you insist on calling me every hour on the hour?
Even after I cut the date short, did you think you could change my mind? Hounding me is not the way to go dude.
You are not my fucking child, nor any relation whatsoever. I have nothing invested in you except a couple of hours. You are a minor blip on my time line.
You're rude, arrogant, and downright fucking boring to be around. I swear I sprouted a few white hairs (on my ass) listening to you drone on and on for over two hours!
You are not God's gift to women. No matter how many times you tell yourself that, it simply isn't true.
Social cues are obviously not your strong point. I don't think I've ever been so good at the "duck and weave" to get the fuck away from you touching me. You'd think after I've done it for the 6th fucking time you'd get the hint.
1. We're in public. Be thankful I didn't create a scene and spit in your face.
2. I don't like to be molested in public by a virtual stranger.
3. You're a douche bag.
4. As a former restaurant server, you're attitude, actions and pathetic and measly tip to our patient and attentive waiter was disgusting. I slipped him another $20 for your bullshit. Maybe if you'd shut up long enough for me to say more than my name, you might've found out I was in the restaurant industry for over 20yrs.
5. You described your most "Epic Bowel Movements" as EBM's. Oh yeah, and you were so kind to describe it in depth and in detail. Who the fuck does that?? On a first date?!
6. You criticized my hair and tried to give me fashion advice. WTF?? I'd rather not have my hoohah on display. And it's none of your business if my nipples are perky or not. IT'S FUCKING WINTER AND I'M FREEZING!
7. You're still a douche bag.
I get it. You're pretty. And you think I'm pretty. And we can be pretty people together forever and ever. Perfect and pretty and plastic. UGH!
There's one slight hitch in your plan though. I'm not perfect or plastic. But I am pretty. Pretty fucking fantastic. And you're a selfish fucking moron.
And I've had my fill of selfish fucking morons to last me a few centuries.
Even after I cut the date short, did you think you could change my mind? Hounding me is not the way to go dude.
You are not my fucking child, nor any relation whatsoever. I have nothing invested in you except a couple of hours. You are a minor blip on my time line.
You're rude, arrogant, and downright fucking boring to be around. I swear I sprouted a few white hairs (on my ass) listening to you drone on and on for over two hours!
You are not God's gift to women. No matter how many times you tell yourself that, it simply isn't true.
Social cues are obviously not your strong point. I don't think I've ever been so good at the "duck and weave" to get the fuck away from you touching me. You'd think after I've done it for the 6th fucking time you'd get the hint.
1. We're in public. Be thankful I didn't create a scene and spit in your face.
2. I don't like to be molested in public by a virtual stranger.
3. You're a douche bag.
4. As a former restaurant server, you're attitude, actions and pathetic and measly tip to our patient and attentive waiter was disgusting. I slipped him another $20 for your bullshit. Maybe if you'd shut up long enough for me to say more than my name, you might've found out I was in the restaurant industry for over 20yrs.
5. You described your most "Epic Bowel Movements" as EBM's. Oh yeah, and you were so kind to describe it in depth and in detail. Who the fuck does that?? On a first date?!
6. You criticized my hair and tried to give me fashion advice. WTF?? I'd rather not have my hoohah on display. And it's none of your business if my nipples are perky or not. IT'S FUCKING WINTER AND I'M FREEZING!
7. You're still a douche bag.
I get it. You're pretty. And you think I'm pretty. And we can be pretty people together forever and ever. Perfect and pretty and plastic. UGH!
There's one slight hitch in your plan though. I'm not perfect or plastic. But I am pretty. Pretty fucking fantastic. And you're a selfish fucking moron.
And I've had my fill of selfish fucking morons to last me a few centuries.
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Happy Happy Birthday D!! Be careful blowing out those candles...
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Quote by miss_congeniality
My quick use of profanity in formal situations.
Me too! That and the cowshit on my rubber boots. Or the stray piece of straw stuck in my hair. For some reason, in formal situations it's frowned upon...
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Being blunt. I have almost no filter. Don't ask me a direct question and expect me to sugarcoat it. I can't lie if my life depended on it.
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Quote by BikeBoy
My takeaway point from this is it's a crying shame that hockey rinks are too cold to encourage hockey moms to wear yoga pants.
We wear them... Under our snowmobile suits!
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Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
No means NO, woman!
I dunno. He's pretty easy... All I needed to do was form my questions in BASIC and it was game over.
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Quote by PersonalAssistant
have you ever heard the expression .... My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
That, my friend ... is just like predicting how a partner will fuck .... and part of the enjoyment is finding out how they do fuck.
I like the ones with nuts... Just saying
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No. Not everybody. There is only one particular person that we need to make happy... Gav.
Sometimes he's unwilling, but the chase is thrilling.
Sometimes he's unwilling, but the chase is thrilling.
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Some people can pull off the shorty shorts, but nobody looks good with a mini-backpack. 
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Quote by pricklypear
*WHOOOOSH!*
Some of us have a more sophisticated sense of humour...
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I dunno... This situation is fraught with many, many pitfalls.
Are you doing this because your ex is familiar? Or that you're still hung up on this guy?
IF this is the guy from your past postings on Lush, he doesn't sound like a good fit for something like this.
He's an ex for a reason. Leave him in the past and out of the bedroom.
It's great that you want to experiment and that your present lover is willing, but this is just a can of worms.
I just cannot see this as being a good idea in any light.
Are you doing this because your ex is familiar? Or that you're still hung up on this guy?
IF this is the guy from your past postings on Lush, he doesn't sound like a good fit for something like this.
He's an ex for a reason. Leave him in the past and out of the bedroom.
It's great that you want to experiment and that your present lover is willing, but this is just a can of worms.
I just cannot see this as being a good idea in any light.
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I have got to stop giving you the benefit of the doubt. People like you, will just never measure up.
You could ruin my optimistic outlook with your behaviour. But you cannot control me anymore.
Enjoy the 'mild' tacos I made. Say a prayer, cause your asshole will be on fire in about an hour or two after you've eaten them.
You dumbass, redneck, trusting prick.
I'm still optimistic... That you'll spontaneously combust from the asshole up. Or ruin your bathroom reading experience at the very least, since you'll be hanging on for dear fucking life.
You could ruin my optimistic outlook with your behaviour. But you cannot control me anymore.
Enjoy the 'mild' tacos I made. Say a prayer, cause your asshole will be on fire in about an hour or two after you've eaten them.
You dumbass, redneck, trusting prick.
I'm still optimistic... That you'll spontaneously combust from the asshole up. Or ruin your bathroom reading experience at the very least, since you'll be hanging on for dear fucking life.
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My answer would depend on whether or not he left the toilet seat up. Or if he put the empty milk container back in the fridge.
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My opinion varies according to who I'm dealing with.
If you act like a pompous, oversexed douche bag, I'm going to think you're a pompous, oversexed douche bag.
If you act needy and controlling, I'm going to think you're needy and controlling.
If you're polite and respectful, I'm going to think you're polite and respectful.
See the pattern?
*NOTE* All the above is null and void when a guy causes me pain and grief. Then the entire male species is at fault and there is no reasoning with me until after I've had copious amounts of chocolate, wine and/or vodka and have stopped hurting and came back to my senses.
This is not indicative of the entire female species. This is just how I deal with manipulative, stressful, antagonizing asswipes, such as my ex.
I will hate all men when I see the same traits and tendencies in them, as my ex.
I will think the only good man is a dead one.
Then one of my guy friends will come along and offer to kick his ass, or say something equally lovely and I'll get over it and let it go.
If you act like a pompous, oversexed douche bag, I'm going to think you're a pompous, oversexed douche bag.
If you act needy and controlling, I'm going to think you're needy and controlling.
If you're polite and respectful, I'm going to think you're polite and respectful.
See the pattern?
*NOTE* All the above is null and void when a guy causes me pain and grief. Then the entire male species is at fault and there is no reasoning with me until after I've had copious amounts of chocolate, wine and/or vodka and have stopped hurting and came back to my senses.
This is not indicative of the entire female species. This is just how I deal with manipulative, stressful, antagonizing asswipes, such as my ex.
I will hate all men when I see the same traits and tendencies in them, as my ex.
I will think the only good man is a dead one.
Then one of my guy friends will come along and offer to kick his ass, or say something equally lovely and I'll get over it and let it go.
