Surprise! She'll be the one to be broken in!
Where the husband might have gotten it?
Hell, what happened here?!!
Active Ink Slinger
Surprise! She'll be the one to be broken in!
Where the husband might have gotten it?
Hell, what happened here?!!
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marcosurbina
Over 90 days ago
Male, 75
Mexico
Forum
Surprise! She'll be the one to be broken in!
Where the husband might have gotten it?
Hell, what happened here?!!
Active Ink Slinger
This man went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, "You really smell terrific. What's that you have on?"
The flattered girl told him it was Channel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?"
"Well, I've got a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it," the guy replied.
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Q. What did Adam say to Eve?
A. You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.
The flattered girl told him it was Channel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?"
"Well, I've got a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it," the guy replied.
%%%%%%%%%%%%
Q. What did Adam say to Eve?
A. You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.
Active Ink Slinger
One rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.
"Where to?" he stammered.
"Union Station," answered the woman.
"You got it," he said, taking another long glance in the mirror. The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the heck are you looking at, driver?"
"Well ma'am, I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare."
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, "Does this answer your question?"
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, "Got anything smaller?"
%%%%%%%%%
An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night.
"You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said.
"Disgusting," said the old lady.
"It was revolting," her husband added.
"Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks.
"We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," the old lady replied. "We couldn't find my panties, and his teeth were in them!"
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First one is a classic, but second one was new to me. If the movie was so disgusting, the why did they sit through it twice? ja, ja, ja!
I'm the taxi driver. Like my hair style? It's similar to Rocco's.
"Where to?" he stammered.
"Union Station," answered the woman.
"You got it," he said, taking another long glance in the mirror. The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the heck are you looking at, driver?"
"Well ma'am, I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare."
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, "Does this answer your question?"
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, "Got anything smaller?"
%%%%%%%%%
An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night.
"You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said.
"Disgusting," said the old lady.
"It was revolting," her husband added.
"Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks.
"We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," the old lady replied. "We couldn't find my panties, and his teeth were in them!"
%%%%%%%%
First one is a classic, but second one was new to me. If the movie was so disgusting, the why did they sit through it twice? ja, ja, ja!
I'm the taxi driver. Like my hair style? It's similar to Rocco's.
Active Ink Slinger
Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me up I'm goin' in
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Q. How do you recycle a condom?
A. Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it
%%%%%%%%%
Q. Whats the difference between 'ohh' and 'ahh'?
A. About 4 inches.
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One evening, a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them with his mouth. In the middle of catching a peanut, his wife asked him a question, and as he turned to answer her, the peanut feel into his ear.He tried and tried to dig the peanut out, but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper into his ear. He called his wife for assistance, and after several hours of trying to remove the peanut, they became concerned and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date.
After being informed of their problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down. The young man then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy.The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said:
"That's wonderful!! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows up?!" The father replied:
"From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!!"
A. Cover me up I'm goin' in
%%%%%%%%
Q. How do you recycle a condom?
A. Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it
%%%%%%%%%
Q. Whats the difference between 'ohh' and 'ahh'?
A. About 4 inches.
%%%%%%
One evening, a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them with his mouth. In the middle of catching a peanut, his wife asked him a question, and as he turned to answer her, the peanut feel into his ear.He tried and tried to dig the peanut out, but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper into his ear. He called his wife for assistance, and after several hours of trying to remove the peanut, they became concerned and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date.
After being informed of their problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down. The young man then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy.The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said:
"That's wonderful!! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows up?!" The father replied:
"From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!!"
Active Ink Slinger
I was so happy with cable at my mother in law's home. This is a a picture I took where satellite dish can be spotted on the roof. I feel nostalgia now. Uh, how I used to enjoy watching Judge Jude court cases.
Everything was so handy and convenient here...
Everything was so handy and convenient here...
Active Ink Slinger
Well, the issue here is I don't have cable at my mother in law's anymore to watch Judge Joe Brown, and I don't have it at home either. But I've come up with a new idea: to install a satellite dish on top of my old 1970 Toyota truck. Surprisingly, as I was already inside turning the dish with my hand through a hole in the roof, I got a clear signal.
Active Ink Slinger
It means: Rocco's new truck is bringing Techgoddess a nut load. Hes driving in reverse, so she's happy.
Active Ink Slinger
A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The admiral shouted:
"Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
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I spent a long time trying to get the point here... until I got it at last. I think the Admiral's partner is gonna get mad as hell by offensive Admiral's comment... but this being the chief, pity nothing to remedy for it.
"Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
%%%%%%%
I spent a long time trying to get the point here... until I got it at last. I think the Admiral's partner is gonna get mad as hell by offensive Admiral's comment... but this being the chief, pity nothing to remedy for it.
Active Ink Slinger
Thank you, Playmate and Nicola.
Well, I wished it had fit in the screen, but it isn't my fault here:
my new electronic camera has a wonderful function, I mean,
a botton to press down (Macro on - off) so this picture is exposed
this maximum details (I'm surprised even a tiny ant can be spotted).
But the choice OFF gives you a normal shot.
I should change to this one option instead.
These seats or bench in the park doesn't exist in my
homecountry and came to be known as "confidentes" in Spanish.
I looked up this word in my old dilapidated dictionary and
I came up with: love seat, setee. Well, you really can talk like this,
one in front of the other and ask "what do you stare at?"
A little bit of jerk off now?
Well, I wished it had fit in the screen, but it isn't my fault here:
my new electronic camera has a wonderful function, I mean,
a botton to press down (Macro on - off) so this picture is exposed
this maximum details (I'm surprised even a tiny ant can be spotted).
But the choice OFF gives you a normal shot.
I should change to this one option instead.
These seats or bench in the park doesn't exist in my
homecountry and came to be known as "confidentes" in Spanish.
I looked up this word in my old dilapidated dictionary and
I came up with: love seat, setee. Well, you really can talk like this,
one in front of the other and ask "what do you stare at?"
A little bit of jerk off now?
Active Ink Slinger
It's first time I see people doing this. No other container available than this one? I this machine were started -plugged- or accidentaly the On - Off lever touched, no one could drink a single bear.
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She's too embarrased but... why didn't she object beforehand?
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I took this picture at the main square of town
where I'm living now. It's gonna be a month since local
gansters kicked it down -probably it collapsed by itself.
But this setee for two people, also love seat, still works
lying there on the grownd... for lovers.
where I'm living now. It's gonna be a month since local
gansters kicked it down -probably it collapsed by itself.
But this setee for two people, also love seat, still works
lying there on the grownd... for lovers.
Active Ink Slinger
Thank you, Rocco -Italian name. Well, you never ignore my posts, ja, ja, and you're a fair, just, person as well.
Active Ink Slinger
A couple was taking a walk with their little kid at a nudist beach. Obviously, everybody was naked here and this curious and inquisitive kid asks her mother:
“Mom, what are those mounds of flesh with gigantic dark circles in the women’s upper body?
The mom responds:
“They’re melons.”
“Oh, cute. And why do a lot of women have melons bigger than yours?” the kid asks.
“This is life, my son.” She responds. “Some are bigger than others, but women carrying small melons are the most intelligent, see? The bigger, larger, a melon is, the more stupid is the owner. Got that?”
“Yes, mom.” The kid replied.
As they go on walking this kid asks next question: “Can you tell me why do a lot of men here have that dangling thing bigger than my dad’s?”
Mom replies: "Yeah, that’s true. They’re referred to as “Ramon. The same principle runs here: men with small, tiny Ramons are smarter than the others. So, the bigger a Ramon is, the more stupid the owner is. Got that?”
“Yes, mom” came the child’s reply.
This lady is now resting in her chair, while it was the husband’s turn to take a walk along with his son in the nudist beach. Suddenly, the boy returns running, alarmed and excited at the same time, stands next to her mother saying: “Mom, look!”
Yeah, what’s the matter, boy?” She’s worried now.
“Something strange about dad!” replied the boy. “I’ve just left him chatting with this very stupid lady, but dad is changing, turning stupid each minute!”
“Mom, what are those mounds of flesh with gigantic dark circles in the women’s upper body?
The mom responds:
“They’re melons.”
“Oh, cute. And why do a lot of women have melons bigger than yours?” the kid asks.
“This is life, my son.” She responds. “Some are bigger than others, but women carrying small melons are the most intelligent, see? The bigger, larger, a melon is, the more stupid is the owner. Got that?”
“Yes, mom.” The kid replied.
As they go on walking this kid asks next question: “Can you tell me why do a lot of men here have that dangling thing bigger than my dad’s?”
Mom replies: "Yeah, that’s true. They’re referred to as “Ramon. The same principle runs here: men with small, tiny Ramons are smarter than the others. So, the bigger a Ramon is, the more stupid the owner is. Got that?”
“Yes, mom” came the child’s reply.
This lady is now resting in her chair, while it was the husband’s turn to take a walk along with his son in the nudist beach. Suddenly, the boy returns running, alarmed and excited at the same time, stands next to her mother saying: “Mom, look!”
Yeah, what’s the matter, boy?” She’s worried now.
“Something strange about dad!” replied the boy. “I’ve just left him chatting with this very stupid lady, but dad is changing, turning stupid each minute!”
Active Ink Slinger
This cute, young beautiful chick walked along the hall which lead to offices of a big corporation, and frequently run into a co worker who stopped to say hi, would get too close to her, took a deep breath, saying:
“Oh, what a wonderful scent that coming from your hair!” He then continues to walk.
This beauty ignored him, until got bored, tiresome situation here, each time she walks in the hall, and decided to lodge a complaint.
The business manager -supervisor- listens to this case of sexual harassment -she maintains. The manager made a judgment, saying this was nonsense, for it lacked proper argument:
“You cannot denounce somebody and claim sexual harassment just because he says your hair smells good!”
But the woman assured loudly: “Yes, or course it is. This guy is a dwarf.”
%%%%%%%
Well, I made up this joke. I was the dwarf one here.
“Oh, what a wonderful scent that coming from your hair!” He then continues to walk.
This beauty ignored him, until got bored, tiresome situation here, each time she walks in the hall, and decided to lodge a complaint.
The business manager -supervisor- listens to this case of sexual harassment -she maintains. The manager made a judgment, saying this was nonsense, for it lacked proper argument:
“You cannot denounce somebody and claim sexual harassment just because he says your hair smells good!”
But the woman assured loudly: “Yes, or course it is. This guy is a dwarf.”
%%%%%%%
Well, I made up this joke. I was the dwarf one here.
Active Ink Slinger
Whorehouse Door Joke
Two drunks are standing at the front door o a whorehouse. The fist drunk says, “I heard half these broads have the clap and that none of them would think twice about stealing every penny we’ve got.”
The second drunk says, “Not so loud, or they won’t let us in.”
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A trucker goes into a whorehouse and hands the Madam eight hundred dollars. He says, “I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich.” The Madam says, “For that kind of money, you could have one of my finest girls and a gourmet dinner.” The trucker says, “I’m not horny, I’m homesick.”
%%%%%%
Two mice are making their way through a whorehouse when one stops to admire a prostitute’s ass.
“Pretty nice, huh?” the mouse says to his friend.
“Not bad,” the other replies:
“But me? I’m a titmouse.
%%%%%
Well, I myself am not a tit guy. They're beautiful though.
Two drunks are standing at the front door o a whorehouse. The fist drunk says, “I heard half these broads have the clap and that none of them would think twice about stealing every penny we’ve got.”
The second drunk says, “Not so loud, or they won’t let us in.”
%%%%
A trucker goes into a whorehouse and hands the Madam eight hundred dollars. He says, “I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich.” The Madam says, “For that kind of money, you could have one of my finest girls and a gourmet dinner.” The trucker says, “I’m not horny, I’m homesick.”
%%%%%%
Two mice are making their way through a whorehouse when one stops to admire a prostitute’s ass.
“Pretty nice, huh?” the mouse says to his friend.
“Not bad,” the other replies:
“But me? I’m a titmouse.
%%%%%
Well, I myself am not a tit guy. They're beautiful though.
Active Ink Slinger
Stagecoach surprise
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out,
"What was all that about?"
He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out,
"What was all that about?"
He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."
Active Ink Slinger
This couple were in bed gettin busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy: "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning.
"Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says: "Put your whole hand in!".
The guy's, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud: "Put both your hands inside of me!!!"
So the guy puts both of his hands in!
"Now clap your hands..." commands the girl.
"I can't, says the guy. The girls looks at him and says:
"See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".
"Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says: "Put your whole hand in!".
The guy's, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud: "Put both your hands inside of me!!!"
So the guy puts both of his hands in!
"Now clap your hands..." commands the girl.
"I can't, says the guy. The girls looks at him and says:
"See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".
Active Ink Slinger
Little Red Riding Hood Techgoddes is riding her way now, without Rocco, heading into the woods.
Active Ink Slinger
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy:
"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's you're name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Listen And Learn
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's you're name?"
"Sam," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied.... "The balcony."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Listen And Learn
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Active Ink Slinger
How do you know your girlfriend is really hot?
When you put your hand in her panties and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
%%%%%%%%%%%%
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what would I have?
$$$$$$$$$
Bullfights in spain
An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter:
"What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The American, though momentarily daunted, said:
"What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said:
"These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
Sometimes the bull wins
When you put your hand in her panties and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
%%%%%%%%%%%%
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what would I have?
$$$$$$$$$
Bullfights in spain
An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter:
"What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The American, though momentarily daunted, said:
"What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said:
"These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
Sometimes the bull wins
Active Ink Slinger
Well, judging from this pic, you should have this one in, Rocco. To clean your house, I mean. You won't be in her.
Active Ink Slinger
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - As Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
$$$$$$$$$$
THE RODEO POSITION JOKE
The first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo."
The other cowboy asks what the position is, and how to do it?
The first cowboy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she's really enjoying it, lean forward, grab her by her hair and whisper in her ear:
"Your sister likes this position too." Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
$$$$$$$$$$
THE RODEO POSITION JOKE
The first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo."
The other cowboy asks what the position is, and how to do it?
The first cowboy says, "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she's really enjoying it, lean forward, grab her by her hair and whisper in her ear:
"Your sister likes this position too." Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."
Active Ink Slinger
An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in frontof the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"
"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."
"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.
"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
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Cracked lips definition: Cracked lips, also known as chopped lips, is a condition of dried out and cracking lips.
"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"
"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."
"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.
"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
%%%%%%
Cracked lips definition: Cracked lips, also known as chopped lips, is a condition of dried out and cracking lips.
Active Ink Slinger
THE VIBRATOR
A lesbian walks into a sex toy store and asks where the vibrators are. "Come this way," the cute woman behind the counter says, gesturing with her finger.
"If I could come that way, I wouldn't need the vibrator, would I?" the woman responds.
$$$$$$$$$$
THE RASH
A woman walks into her doctor’s office and says:
“Doctor, I have this terrible rash.” She lifts up her sweater to reveal a large ‘M’ shaped rash. The doctor replies, “Now that is the strangest rash I’ve ever seen.” The woman explains, “Well my boyfriend goes to Michigan and refuses to take off his letter sweater when we make love.” The doctor shrugs her shoulders, prescribes some lotion and sends the woman on her way.
The next day another woman comes in with a very similar rash. “How did you get that?” the doctor asks. “My boyfriend goes to MIT and he refuses to take his letter sweater off when we make love,” she says. The doctor prescribes some lotion and sends the young lady on her way.
The third day another young woman comes into the doctor’s office and she too has a big rash in the shape of an ‘M’ on her chest. “Let me guess,” the doctor says. “Your boyfriend goes to Maryland?” “No,” the patient replies, “My girlfriend goes to Wellesley.”
%%%%%%%%%%
GYNECOLOGIST
A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, "Why, it's immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?"
The woman responds, "I have a woman in twice a week."
Did she mean she had a maid in twice a week?
A lesbian walks into a sex toy store and asks where the vibrators are. "Come this way," the cute woman behind the counter says, gesturing with her finger.
"If I could come that way, I wouldn't need the vibrator, would I?" the woman responds.
$$$$$$$$$$
THE RASH
A woman walks into her doctor’s office and says:
“Doctor, I have this terrible rash.” She lifts up her sweater to reveal a large ‘M’ shaped rash. The doctor replies, “Now that is the strangest rash I’ve ever seen.” The woman explains, “Well my boyfriend goes to Michigan and refuses to take off his letter sweater when we make love.” The doctor shrugs her shoulders, prescribes some lotion and sends the woman on her way.
The next day another woman comes in with a very similar rash. “How did you get that?” the doctor asks. “My boyfriend goes to MIT and he refuses to take his letter sweater off when we make love,” she says. The doctor prescribes some lotion and sends the young lady on her way.
The third day another young woman comes into the doctor’s office and she too has a big rash in the shape of an ‘M’ on her chest. “Let me guess,” the doctor says. “Your boyfriend goes to Maryland?” “No,” the patient replies, “My girlfriend goes to Wellesley.”
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GYNECOLOGIST
A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, "Why, it's immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?"
The woman responds, "I have a woman in twice a week."
Did she mean she had a maid in twice a week?