“Oh, just look at that girl’s ‘air, Jack – innit beau’iful?”

“Sam, I’m not looking at her hair…” Fap fap…

“But it’s fuckin’ awesome!”

“Perhaps – but under the current circumstances you will forgive me for concentrating on a different part of her anatomy.”

“Like what?”

Sigh. “Like her cunt, of course. You can’t fuck hair!” Fap fap…

“Well, yer not fuckin’ anyfink at the moment – ‘part from yer own fuckin’ fist!”

“Fair point.” Fapfap…

“Uh… Jack?”

“Yes?” Fapfap…

“I got a cunt.”

“So?” Fapfapfap…

 “Fuck me?”

“Oh… I hadn’t thought of that… Hang on a minute…” Fapfapfapfap…

Sigh.