SESSION TWO
Alexis’ smile couldn’t be contained as the receptionist ushered her back to the therapy suite. She’d been looking forward to this moment for most of her week. She made so much great progress, and she couldn’t wait to let the doctor know.
After a few minutes of waiting, the door finally opened and Dr. Miller stepped into the office. He took one look at the woman and smiled broadly.
“Well hello, Mrs. Dawson,” he said, extending his hand. “You’re looking much happier to be here today than you were last week.”
Alexis practically jumped to her feet, taking the doctor’s hand in a warm handshake. “Oh, you can just call me Alexis,” she grinned, “and you’re right, I am definitely happy to be here.”
Well, that’s very good to hear,” he replied as they took their seats across from one another. “So tell me about your week, Alexis. How did things go? Did you make any progress on your homework assignment?”
“I did! You’re going to be so proud of me,” she gushed. “I feel like it was some sort of breakthrough. Every day this week, I found time to, um, you know,” she said, blushing a bit through her excitement. “On some of the days I even managed to do it a few times! I don’t know why I was so hung up about it before. It was incredible, and I’ve never felt so good.”
“That’s just fantastic,” Dr. Miller praised. “And were you able to muster up a few fantasies along the way?”
“Oh my gosh, yes,” the woman beamed. “It’s weird to admit, but I’d never even really thought about other men like that before our last session. Realizing how harmless it was and how much fantasy material there was out there was such an eye-opener to me. I’m so glad you suggested it.”
The doctor smiled at her response. “It sounds like you really took your first session seriously, Alexis. If you continue putting this sort of effort into your treatment, I think you’re going to overcome this repression you’ve struggled with and your eyes will be opened to a whole new world. Tell me, did you manage to have sex with your husband this week?”
For the first time since the appointment began, Alexis’ smile faded. “Unfortunately, no,” she said with a sigh. “I don’t know why, either. All week long, it was like I was in the mood all the time, except when I had an opportunity to do anything with Aaron. He even asked me for it the night of our first session. I spent the whole afternoon being turned on before he got home from work, and then as soon as he walked in the front door, it was just, like, gone. I don’t know, doc. I just feel like I’m broken or something.”
“Alexis, you are not broken,” Dr. Miller replied. “You’re just carrying the burden of extreme sexual repression. You’ve made excellent progress this last week, but your overarching problem isn’t something that one therapy session will cure. We have to get through several more of your hang ups before you’re going to be comfortable giving your husband regular sex. What you and your husband should both understand is that it may take weeks or even months to get there. You can tell him that, but also tell him that you will get there, though. I can promise you that.”
“Are you sure?” She questioned.
“I’m absolutely positive,” the doctor replied. He then turned toward his end table, opening the drawer and pulling out his device. “On that note, I think this would be a good time to start working on new material. What do you say?”
Alexis’ smile returned and she nodded as she took the device from Dr. Miller. “That sounds perfect. If I’m being honest, this was my favorite part of the last session,” she said, already getting herself comfortable in her plush chair.
The doctor smiled before turning his attention to the smartphone that was paired to the device. He gave the screen a couple taps and the device in Alexis’ hands whirred to life, its faint vibrations barely audible as it radiated warmth and comfort throughout the woman’s body. Without being told, she nestled further into the chair, closing her eyes.
“Alexis, can you tell me how you feel?” Dr. Miller asked.
“Hmmmm, so good,” the woman responded. “Warm and happy.”
“Very good, Alexis. You love this feeling. You crave the warmth and comfort you get from using my device, don’t you?”
Alexis nodded faintly as she rested there, smiling.
“And you trust me completely. As your therapist, there is absolutely nothing you can’t share with me. Being open and honest with me makes you feel so good, doesn’t it?”
“Mhh hmmm,” the woman affirmed.
“You’re doing so good, Alexis. You’re a good girl. You love hearing that. It makes you feel so wonderful when I tell you that you’re a good girl Alexis. Don’t you agree?”
Alexis nodded again, and the doctor tapped his screen a couple more times before continuing.
“Very good,” he said. “Now Alexis, last week we talked about self-pleasure. You were a very good girl, being open with me about doing both. Tell me Alexis, what did you fantasize about?”
“Men doing things with me,” she replied, a smile appearing on her relaxed face.
“Were there any men in particular?”
“Lots,” she breathed. “Coworkers. Friends. Aaron’s family. You.”
“Good girl, Alexis. You find me attractive, don’t you?”
“Hmmmm, yes,” she replied, her cheeks burning red even as she remained in her peaceful state.
“Don’t be embarrassed about that, Alexis,” the doctor answered. “It’s very normal for my female clients to develop feelings for me. Savor those feelings. Remember, fantasies are completely harmless, and you’re comfortable telling me anything. You trust me completely, Alexis. Say that out loud for me.”
“I trust you completely, Dr. Miller.”
Good girl. Now tell me, what things were you doing with the men in your fantasies.?”
“Different things. Sometimes we were kissing. Usually they would touch my breasts. I would stroke their penis or they would rub my vagina. Sometimes it was full intercourse.”
“Interesting,” Dr. Miller replied. “You know, terms such as penis, vagina, and intercourse are very clinical, Alexis. Are you using them for my sake, or do you really think in those terms?”
“A little of both,” Alexis responded. “I guess sometimes I use other words, like dick or sex.”
“That’s good to know. And was everything you told me all that you fantasized about?”
“I think so,” she answered.
“Alright,” the doctor continued, “let’s shift gears a bit. Alexis, today when I came into the office, I noticed that you were wearing jeans and a sweater. What prompted your wardrobe choice today?”
Alexis scrunched her brow for a moment. “I’m not sure,” she replied. “I guess they were comfortable.”
“Okay, but Alexis, it’s a beautiful day outside and you’re a very attractive woman. Why not wear something that shows a little skin, or shows off your curves a bit more?”
“It’s not right to tempt men. It would be wrong to make them lust after me like that.”
“Interesting again,” the doctor began. “That gives me enough of a picture to know what we need to work on next. Remember, Alexis, you trust me completely. I would never give you bad advice. Say that back to me, please.”
“I trust you completely,” Alexis repeated. “You would never give me bad advice.”
“That’s right,” the doctor said. “Now, just like we discussed last week, some of the beliefs you’ve learned in the past are actually harmful. They are harmful to your marriage, and they are harmful to you. Do you understand?”
“Yes, doctor,” the woman said, nodding slightly. The doctor tapped his smartphone before continuing.
“Good girl, Alexis.” He said. “My job, which you trust me completely to do, is to help you identify those harmful beliefs, and to teach you ways to get past them. Today we are going to address one of those harmful beliefs, the belief that you are responsible for other men's feelings. Listen closely, Alexis. You are not responsible for what anyone thinks other than you. If men see you and have lustful thoughts, that is not your burden. Do you understand?”
“Yes, doctor,” Alexis said with a faint nod.
“Very good. I’m going to say it again. You are not responsible for the thoughts of others. Repeat that for me.”
“I am not responsible for the thoughts of others,” Alexis murmured blissfully.
“Good girl. We are going to break free of that belief, and all its implications. Starting today, you are going to be free to be yourself. You are going to be free to be what you really are, a sexy young woman. You are a sexy young woman, Alexis. Say that for me.”
Instead of repeating the doctor’s instructions, Alexis sat there silently for a moment. She trusted the doctor and knew he would never lie to her, but this just felt life too much of a stretch. “I don’t think I’m sexy,” she finally muttered, her eyes still closed but her expression looking less peaceful than it had moments earlier. Dr. Miller tapped his screen several times before speaking again.
“Alexis, listen to me very carefully. You are a sexy woman. A very sexy woman, in fact. The reason you don’t think so is because of the harmful beliefs you’ve harbored. They’ve led to a poor self image, creating an illusion that you’re not a beautiful, sexy woman. Does that make sense?”
Alexis thought about the doctor's words. “Yes, doctor,” she finally replied.
“Good girl. Alexis. Today, I am going to help you get past these false beliefs. As you rest there with your eyes closed, I want you to picture a mirror in your mind. Do you see the mirror?”
“Yes.”
“Good girl,” the doctor responded, eliciting a happy sigh from Alexis. “I want you to look into that mirror. Look at yourself. See yourself naked, from head to toe. As you do, I want you to ignore any imperfections you see. Only focus on the beauty in the reflection. Picture your reflection as a beautiful, sexy woman. So beautiful and sexy that she could have any man she wants. The more you look at this reflection of yourself, the more you understand that this reflection is your own. Keep looking at the reflection, Alexis, and when you can see that the woman in the reflection is beautiful and sexy, I want you to tell me so.”
For a few moments, they sat there in silence as Alexis visualized her reflection. Slowly, she became more and more capable of seeing what the doctor was describing. Piece by piece, her focal points of self-criticism vanished. The lone gray hair she’d fretted over this morning was gone. In its place she saw her long, silky, beautiful hair. The faint scar on her left knee faded from view, replaced with a vision of beautiful, toned legs. Instead of seeing her right nipple’s faults for being slightly smaller than the left, she saw a beautiful pair of sexy breasts. Before long, Alexis found herself staring into the mirror in her mind, and all she saw was a sexy, desirable woman.
“I can see it,” she finally said, almost whispering. “I look beautiful.”
“Good girl,” the doctor replied softly. “You need to hold onto that vision. You need to embrace it, to see it as who you really are. We’re going to give that reflection a name, one you can use to remind yourself just how sexy and beautiful you are. We’re going to call her sexy Lexi, or just Lexi for short. That’s you. As you look into the mirror, you become your reflection. You are sexy Lexi. Now, you’re going to say that. Say “I’m sexy Lexi.”
