Well, let's try this then.

I'm old.

I'm married. (Happily)

I'm a nice guy who will be more interested in asking how your day was first instead of offering you a picture of his junk. (Probably not going to happen anyway.) But we can talk about anything, that includes, but is not isolated to sex.

As a professional photographer, I admire beauty and may comment on how amazing a photograph of yours is. I'm not looking for anything other than to start a conversation. I apologize if this offends anyone. (See two lines down)

I have a photograph of me, but because of what I do, I won't share it publicly. If we get to chatting and you are interested, I will share it upon request, but be ready for disappointment.

I'm just interested in talking and I'm old-fashioned and inexperienced in this world. If you can't chat or you have to go, just let me know. I realize I am not the center of anyone's world.

I have some stories I've written and I always appreciate feedback if you are willing.

That's it. Do with that information what you will. If you want to chat about writing, photography, how good or crappy your day was, or how men can be jerks, drop me a friend request. If a nice guy is not your thing, Have a great day.

Sincerely,

Me.