“How much cheese would you like on your eggs?” Luke asked as he flipped the omelet. The scent of fried onions and peppers filled the kitchen.
“Do we have goat cheese? I love lots of creaminess in the morning,” Erin replied, then laughed at her own entendre as she sipped her coconut cream and Bailey’s latte at the table.
Her silk robe was wrapped loosely around her slender frame. She had purchased the short kimono-style robe recently to wear for just such occasions. Luke’s frequent glances her way and his loose-fitting shorts revealed a bulge that showed she had chosen wisely.
They certainly had some ups and downs in their relationship, but amazing sex had always been a constant that she was so thankful for. She was as satisfied as she could be in bed – and everywhere else they made love. The thought crossed her mind that the free counter space next to Luke would be a great height for her to sit so Luke could eat her panty-less pussy for breakfast. She wondered for a moment if the leftover cum from their earlier bedroom romp would be a deal breaker for Luke; she doubted it. She decided to focus on the real breakfast instead - her stomach won the short debate in her mind.
“We do have some goat cheese, that’s a great idea,” Luke replied, turning toward the refrigerator, his tattoos flashing in the kitchen sunlight. Erin had really grown to appreciate his new tattoo sleeve. It was unique and she loved how the colors looked with certain clothes he wore. Although Erin was uncertain at first, the tattoo had really grown on her, as had her small diamond stud in the side of her nose that Luke had recommended, and she had been reluctant to get at first but now loved so much. Luke was right, it really brought out the distinctive angular facial features that Luke found to be so attractive.
Luke added the cheese to his egg creation, plated it, and brought it over to Erin at the table. She made sure her kimono-style robe was just a bit open for him as he reached over her shoulder and set the simple, but delicious breakfast down next to her coffee mug. Luke caught a view of Erin’s sexy cleavage as he served her, then sat down next to her. She laid a hand on Luke’s knee as they ate, thankful for her best friend’s presence next to her on such a beautiful and fun morning. They ate in silence for a short time, their mouths full of food and coffee, before Luke finally turned to Erin with a thoughtful look on his face.
“Erin, I’ve been thinking about something, and I want to get your thoughts. I’m afraid how it may sound, so I want you to hear me out before you give me your honest opinion,” he said with pensiveness in his voice.
Erin noticed this was one of those things that Luke had spent a lot of time thinking about. His natural tendency was to live in his head, pondering things for a long time before saying something, in contrast with Erin’s tendency to verbally process through her thoughts. Erin could tell from Luke’s facial expressions that this must be one of those important topics he had considered for a long time.
“Sure, darling, what’s on your mind?” she asked, wondering what it could be after such a fun and lighthearted morning together.
“Do you remember when we were watching our favorite porn movie a couple weeks ago?” he asked. “The one we hadn’t seen in probably ten years, where the characters are hypnotized and get super horny when they hear a bell, and they end up having sex in all these inappropriate places?”
“Of course, it’s the only porn movie with a semi-interesting plot; at least the only one we’ve found, and it’s not like we’ve looked that hard,” she answered.
“Right, although I’m sure I’ve seen more than you have, and I can verify that the plot is almost never the entertaining part of the film in the way that one is,” Luke said. “I mean, the sex is hot in that film, but it also has a storyline that is at least fun and in some way kind of lets them all off the hook. That’s not really the point, though,” Luke added, hesitating about something.
Erin bit her lip, thinking for a moment. She was a little distracted and turned on just thinking about her favorite scenes from the corny film. “What is it, Luke? It seems like you’re trying to say something?”
“Well,” Luke continued, “every time we watch that film – or the other porn movies we’ve seen over the years – you make a comment every single time about how sexy it is to see the…” Luke hesitated before continuing, “Well, the lesbian scenes. You obviously get super turned on by them, and it makes perfect sense to me. I think of all the ways I find you so sexy, and they are all a turn-on. Every part of you is sexy, from your hair to your toes, and I mean that sincerely – even your toes. I can’t quite explain it, but everything about you is sexy to me.
“It’s more than that, though. The way you respond to my touch is even sexier than the sum of the parts. Yes, your breasts are amazing, for example. They look so sexy, and they are just the right shape and size for me, I mean for my preference. They look absolutely perfect to me, and I am so turned on by how they feel. But, and I mean this so sincerely, the way you respond to me touching your boobs is the hottest part about your boobs. I don’t know if that makes sense or not, but it’s not just that I’m attracted to you. I’m attracted to the way you respond to my attraction. The same is true for the way your pussy responds to every bit of attention - from the lightest touch to the firmest stroke to grinding against me or a delicate pussy kiss. I don’t quite know how to say this, but your pussy by far the most interesting thing I have encountered in my entire life, and that includes a lot of things in the world.
“Erin,” Luke continued, “I am attracted to you when you put your arm around me, hold my hand, glance my way with a smile, squeeze my knee like you’re doing now, and all kinds of affection. I also find it so attractive to make you feel good by rubbing your tense muscles, massaging you, squeezing your knee in the car, glancing your direction with a smile, and so many other things. Your responses to me and my responses to you are so much sexier than just how either of us looks.”
Erin noticed the feeling of her swollen pussy pressing against her breakfast chair. She definitely had a sense of what Luke was talking about. The purity culture they had both been raised in was repressive to all kinds of normal human sexual emotions and actions in ways that she recognized to be problematic. She guessed that part of Luke’s meaning was that sexual adventures had absolutely been lacking in their youth.
Erin and Luke started dating in their teens. Luke had been scheming to ask Erin out for weeks beforehand. However, they were at a very conservative college that didn’t allow for boys on girls’ floors and vice versa. Anything sexual beyond handholding was discouraged, and they spent most of their dating years trying very hard to avoid having sex before marriage. They had both skipped over the young adult years of sexual exploration. It had taken a long time, but they both had been slowly releasing the feelings of guilt associated with so many things from their upbringing. They were doing well with being sexually free with one another but were both still surprised at issues that came up from time to time that were yet unconsidered.
Luke and Erin’s view of sex at the time meant that they would never have actual sex before marriage, although they did their best to come close without crossing the line while they were dating. Erin had never really considered how they were both so sexually frustrated their entire dating time. They were both ultimately agreeable to the arrangement, and maybe they had married young in part to escape the guilt of sex before marriage. It was all just part of the fucked-up nature of their purity culture at the time. Erin now realized there were so many contradictions between their self-righteous piety and their actual actions.
Erin had recently been surprised to learn that Luke didn’t think their relationship would have been any different if they had sex before they were married. Luke and Erin were an extremely rare couple that had only ever had sex with each other, and only after they were married. For such a good-looking couple with so many opportunities in their teens and twenties, including with each other, that was really surprising and unusual. At first, Erin was floored that Luke had changed his opinion. She had always assumed that sex before marriage was some kind of death sentence for a dating relationship, especially in the conservative culture they were from.
However, after they talked about it, she quickly came to realize that Luke was absolutely right. If they had sex the day before their wedding instead of the day after, or two weeks before, or two months before, or whatever, their twenty-year marriage would be no different than it was now. Surprised, Erin had to concede the point and then was left to ponder all they had missed out on by remaining “celibate” during dating, and it caused her to question her view of sex in general.
Coming back to the conversation, Erin wondered where Luke may be heading with this line of thought. It was true, Erin always had an attraction to women’s bodies in a way that Luke did not share about men’s bodies. To be fair, artists throughout history recognized the beauty of the idealized female form in a way the male body did not evoke, with certain exceptions. Michelangelo’s David, Rodin’s Thinking Man and other such sculptures and paintings certainly demonstrated the potential symmetry and beauty of the male form. However, male art was far eclipsed by things like Venus and Aphrodite and all the way to the modern day. Women were just sexy in a way that men were not. Erin sensed this intuitively and felt attracted to women in a way that was completely natural for her and innate.
After a thoughtful pause, Erin responded, “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but it’s true that I feel so turned on from the lesbian scenes.” Remembrance alone was enough to make Erin wet again. “I know you love those scenes as well. What’s not to love? All those pussies and curves and nipples and hips. Mmm…” Erin said, trailing off and noticing the bulge in Luke’s shorts getting bigger.
“Exactly, that’s what I’m talking about,” Luke said, blushing a little, “I’ve noticed that you are attracted to women in a way that I am not attracted to men. You have this wonderful thing where all people are potentially attractive to you – not that all people are attractive, of course,” Luke smiled, a subtle joke left unsaid about how most people in the world were funny-looking. Luke and Erin had noticed this again and again in their travels around the world, especially in warm-weather locations where people of all backgrounds were nearly universally unattractive in their swimsuits. However, there were the exceptional people of all backgrounds that were attractive. Luke could recognize this, of course, but only felt attracted to women, whereas Erin had the potential to feel attracted to both men and women.
“Erin, I feel bad for you that our formative young adult years were spent in such a restrictive culture. You never had the opportunity to explore an entire half of your sexuality.” Luke paused, taking a bite of his omelet and then a slow sip of his hot coffee before continuing. Erin, sensing he had something on his mind, gave him the space to gather his thoughts before he continued.
“I looked it up,” he said. “One in five women feel the way you do, the vast majority of those going on to have a stable heterosexual relationship which they maintain through the rest of their lives. Women who feel that way most often ‘explore’ such feelings during college or their young adult years. You spent those years either dating me or married to me. I know your tendencies were the same then as they are now, you just felt inhibited to act on them because of the strict religious culture we lived in at the time.”
Erin started to interject, but Luke pressed on, not wanting to be interrupted mid-thought.
“At the same time,” he continued, “the sexiest part of making love to you are responses. Obviously, women respond differently than men. You feel an attraction to women that I recognize and accept fully, Erin. I’m really okay with it, I don’t want this to seem like some kind of guilt trip at all. In fact, quite the opposite.” Luke paused, looking to the side, then resolutely looked back at her, his hazel eyes piercing into her light blue eyes. Erin knew this was the point Luke had been thinking about for a long time.
“Erin, I want you to have the freedom to be fully who you are. Sexually, I mean.” Luke hesitated, closing his eyes momentarily. “God, that sounds so corny when I say it out loud. What I mean, Erin,” he said, looking intently at her again, “is that I want to give you my endorsement to explore your sexuality in a way that was unavailable to you earlier in life. I want you to grow old with me knowing that you left no stone unturned. I am confident in our relationship, and in your love for me. I know that your attraction to me can remain the same. I just don’t want you to feel held back by our marriage. I want our marriage to be a wide and open place that can include all the things for you that you desire.
“We both have changed in important ways over the last several years. We both recognize that nothing has to be restricted to a prescribed set of rules. Our relationship can be whatever we choose it to be. Our marriage can be whatever we want it to be. I want you to feel free to explore all the things that you avoided in your twenties because of a stupid purity culture.
“I love our sex life, I mean I really love it,” Luke continued. “I know, just from this morning, that you do as well. I don’t feel that anything is lacking. I don’t want you to ever have to feel that there is something missing, either. I’m not asking for anything for myself, I just want you to feel free to explore in ways that were previously off-limits.”
Luke paused, closed his eyes, and waited for his words to sink in. Erin’s mouth was slightly agape, uncertain she had heard Luke correctly. She felt both incredibly excited and truly seen. Luke was recognizing something about her that she knew she had repressed out of a sense of duty in her black-and-white way of seeing the world when she was in her teens and twenties.
Luke’s world was gray, she knew that he could see options where she saw only absolutes.
She had never really considered acting on the attraction she felt toward women at different times in her life other than in her fantasies. She did find some women incredibly attractive, that was true. If she was honest with herself, there were many times she found women to be far more attractive than men. She had always channeled that feeling towards Luke, which was always a fun and fully appropriate way of expressing her sexuality.