Chapter 1 - “1987 - My First True Girlfriend - Sarah”

 In the four years since I met Clare many things had changed in my life. The most positive being Sarah, my girlfriend, my first true girlfriend.

I had not forgotten Clare. She was still somewhere in the farther reaches of my mind. Nestling there. But Clare was four years ago; she would be now grown up and probably living in Yorkshire. But I never understood why, but my thoughts occasionally would flicker to Clare.

I would ask myself… Where is she now?

What does she look like?

Those two questions would occasionally bubble up into my head and then drift away; of course unanswered.

It took Sarah’s arrival to extinguish those flickers of Clare but her embers were still lying there. In my head; dormant, along with her uniquely coloured hair and cheeky grin. I guessed an element of Clare would always be there. I would always remember that pull, that connection. Though I never understood what it was or why it happened.

But 1987 was not all good news. Unfortunately, I was still living with my parents. That hadn’t changed but I was planning to escape and soon; later in the year.

I first met Sarah in the late summer of 1986 when she started going to the Sunday night disco at a pub I regularly went to. Though we had met and talked in 1986, it was not until February 1987 that we got together.

How we got together is a story I will come to in a minute, and it is important to our overall story.

I knew was lucky to be with Sarah after all, she was the most beautiful girl in the village. She lived there with her parents, Barbara and James and her much younger brother, Gary. He was only seven. 

Sarah is bright, in my company; naturally cheerful. With long blonde and naturally slightly wavy hair and she is tall; at five feet nine and a half inches but it is not her height or her hair that are her most striking features… No that is her deep blue eyes coupled with the most beautiful and alluring face.

Those blue eyes just draw you in, like two bright expensive sapphires glinting in the sun. They are features that any top model would die for, and it didn’t stop there as Sarah was also blessed with long sexy legs, and D-cup breasts topped with very sensitive nipples. 

Her large breasts on her slender, sexy body frame made men notice her; though she always told me that their attention was “always” unwanted.

Sarah could have had many suitors but she chose me; a fact that I was both surprised with and so grateful for.

*****

It is important to our story for me, David to explain how l got to be with Sarah.

The village where Sarah lives was also the same village where my then, two best friends, Mark and Tony lived. The village pub, “The Bat and Ball” ran a Sunday night disco which had become a regular attraction for us three lads.

It was there where I had first met Sarah, the summer before, 1986. It was when she started attending with her best friend, Lisa. It was a brief conversation as I soon found out that she had a boyfriend and was only there to support Lisa. So I backed away. It was my way, the easy option when girls were concerned. I chose to watch Sarah from afar; not really expecting anymore.

I still didn’t understand women. They remained a mystery. Though unsure, bedding one had never been an issue. But my track record was poor as I went for slutty women; an easy lay. All except Kirsty, my four years ago, holiday fling.

But I wanted more. A relationship; at twenty-two, the truth was, I needed one. To round off my rough edges and fill that emotional hole in my life. As well, perhaps, to help me grow up!

The way Sarah got together was by pure luck though much later, I learned that it had also been somewhat engineered…

I had always got on well with Sarah’s best friend, Lisa. We had been introduced several years ago by her older brother who played in the same football team as me. Lisa and I were never romantically linked. She had an on-off boyfriend, Daren, and the truth was I never had thought of her that way. I was happy for her to be a good mate.

Lisa was well-known in the village, popular, and six months older than Sarah. She was very social and outgoing. In many ways, Lisa seemed the polar opposite of Sarah; both socially and physically. At five foot six inches tall; she was shorter, with dark black hair, smaller breasts and a very outgoing personality.

There was one more thing I need to say about Lisa; she was somewhat cruelly known as the village bike as a lot of the local lads had had a ride on her… But I liked that!

Call me perverse but as I have mentioned, I have always had a thing for slutty women.

In the late summer of 1986, I once asked Lisa about Sarah.

“Why wasn’t she more social?”

Lisa had actually chuckled at my question.

“What makes you think she isn’t?”

It was a cryptic answer to my question, and that made my ears stick up. I just didn’t see it.

Sarah was quiet, shy, and even meek!

She hardly spoke to any men including me. In the pub, occasionally our eyes would meet. It gave me hope, and then she looked away.

But Lisa went on to clarify…

“Remember she has a boyfriend, David. But the situation is complicated. I know you are interested and more importantly so does she. But you need to wait. She will be worth it!”

“Wait?”

My question made Lisa smile. I was impatient, yet unsure.

“It won’t last forever, and it can assure you Sarah is not so different from me.”

The last part had me confused. Sarah may be beautiful but she rebuffed everyone; unlike Lisa.

I pressed Lisa for more information. I wanted to know, but Lisa just smiled and refused to tell me another thing about Sarah. I just had to wait or find someone else.

It was not until mid-February 1987 that I would find out more.

That is when I asked Lisa out. Well, the truth was she made sure I asked her out when she came up to me one Sunday night at the “Bat and Ball” and ask me a rather direct question…

“David, when are you going to ask me out as I am single now?” 

It was a question which I had never expected from Lisa. We were more friends, even buddies, than potential boyfriend-girlfriend material. Well, that is what I thought and I didn’t understand the change now.

It was only when I felt Lisa’s hand grab my crotch to reinforce her question; that I was man enough to ask what she wanted to hear.

I mumbled… “Do you want to go on a date with me?”

Lisa smiled though her hand responded with a gentle squeeze. It was Lisa’s way, but as for the date; well “fate” intervened.

When I went to pick up Lisa I saw a man leaving her address. It was Daren, Lisa’s ex.

It turned out Lisa was back with him; yet again. 

“Sorry,” Lisa said. “Let’s go out as friends,” and that is what we did.

We enjoyed each other’s company but there was more to it than just that. Some of which I found out very much later.

“Why don’t you phone, Sarah?” Lisa suggested. “She is single now, but delicate.”

My ears, eyes and just about everything else popped up upon hearing this.

“Delicate,” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure I could do delicate but I was certainly interested. I always thought Sarah was beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful girl I had ever seen but shy, meek and now to add to that… “Delicate.”

Lisa smiled at my response. She knew me. My reply was so typical as it had uncertainty written all over it.

“She wants to go out with you, David. She just needed time.”

“She wants to go out with me?” I questioned as I had no idea.

She had already rebuffed me once. I then realised I was now repeating everything that Lisa was saying. The confidence that I had on the sports field and in other areas of life seemed to of deserted me.

Why would such a beautiful woman want to go out with me?

“I know you like her, David. It is obvious and now is your chance. Phone her.” 

Lisa scribbled down her telephone number and passed it to me. This was a new experience; until now, apart from Kirsty, I only had casual hookups with slutty women. l had never counted the three months I went out with a girl and later her sister in my final year at school as a real relationship. They had us just fizzled out at the end of the school year.

“I can’t just phone her, Lisa; especially if she is delicate.”

It was a calm reply though inside my uncertainty was racing.

With my mates and with a few drinks inside me I knew I could be brash, even arrogant with girls. Though I never meant to be; I certainly was not confident but this was something different. Sarah was real and local; unlike Kirsty.

“She interested in me?” I repeated as I looked at the telephone number before me.

“Yes, David. Now use these,” Lisa’s hand squeezed my crotch. “And phone her.”

I felt my cock respond to Lisa’s not-too-delicate touch. Lisa felt it too and laughed. I could not help but grin at Lisa. Squeezing a man’s cock to get her way was her normal party trick.

“There is a little more you need to know, and I will mention this so you are aware but Sarah will have to tell you the details.”

I looked at Lisa. I was still unsure if I could phone Sarah out of the blue; especially as she was newly single, and delicate. Whatever that meant! 

The evening had started with me going out with Lisa. Unlike Sarah, I knew her. She was meant to be “easy” a sure date for sex.

Sarah was a whole different prospect…

Looking in from the outside I was very interested in having a grown-up relationship with her. But my girlfriend, “management” skills just did not exist. I knew it would not be like the man-management I employed every day at work!

“David, you need to know that Sarah’s breakup ended in the worst possible way. You may have noticed she has not been at the “Bat and Ball” since November; there are reasons.”

I nodded, l had noticed as I always looked out for her. I waited in case there was more. I needed to know more!

“David, what I am going to say Sarah might not appreciate me saying… but you do need to know...” 

I stopped Lisa. 

“Perhaps, you shouldn’t tell me,” I quickly said in nothing more than a slightly loud whisper.

It was the right thing to say; though inside I desperately wanted to know more. I wanted to know it all.

“No David, you need to know why Sarah is a little delicate at the moment. You will need to give her a chance to bloom and be herself. She is only just eighteen; she needs to get out again and find herself.”

“There is a whole lot more to Sarah than you or anyone else knows about so what I am about to tell you needs to be kept to yourself.”

I nodded and then reinforced my nod with words…

“I understand and I promise,” though I was now even more unsure about phoning Sarah. I didn’t want to be rejected.

“The breakup with her former boyfriend was full of arguments and recrimination which was started by a pregnancy scare. It involved the whole of Sarah’s family.”

“They ended on bad terms and he, the ex, is unlikely ever to be seen on the scene again.”

I kept quiet and listened to every word Lisa was saying. The whole family I thought, it must have been bad.

“Sarah needs to get over him. She has not even been out of the house for the last month, and she has just turned eighteen. Sarah needs to get out and start enjoying life again. She needs you, David.”

As I sat there and listened to Lisa, I thought and then I realised what she was saying must be true as I had not seen Sarah for several months.

“She needs me?” I questioned.

Lisa nodded.

“But I just cannot phone her!”

I had another, safer idea.

“Lisa, if Sarah wants to go out with me but is so delicate; wouldn’t it be better to meet up somewhere and see how it goes?”

I thought it was a good compromise suggestion; I knew I could not just phone her as if I did, I would just fail.

“How about meeting at the “Bat and Ball,” next Sunday night?”

Lisa smiled… “That might be better.”

I smiled too… “If she is there Sunday night I come over and talk to her. You know, see how it goes.” 

Lisa grinned at my suggestion and I grinned back at her. I knew I was copying her reaction but it was time for me to have a steady girlfriend and though I didn’t know her. I hoped that my “steady girlfriend” would be Sarah. After all, she was the prettiest girl in the village.

The next Sunday she was there and as they say, the rest is history. We quickly became boyfriend and girlfriend and it was now over five months since that first day. 

Today, I still do not know much about Sarah’s previous boyfriend. His name seems to of been erased from the family history and Sarah has never mentioned him not even once. Or told me very much about her pregnancy scary other than, it happened, and she does not want to talk about it.

“It’s in the past,” were her only words to me when I once “bravely” tried to ask. Though to me, it felt very much like our relationship was dragging along Sarah’s past. It was like an unseen ghost waiting to make its presence known and I just hoped when it did, it wouldn’t be too scary.

Despite my lack of relationship experience; or according to Sarah, maturity in general,” I did realise that Sarah needed time. I always thought there was more to Sarah’s past but what I thought was in a way incidental. To Sarah, it was still fresh; a raw wound that needed to heal, even if it was now eight months since the pregnancy scare. 

However, there was one thing that had changed. Sarah was now on the pill. So hopefully no more pregnancy scares.

Sarah and my relationship grew from that first meeting one week after her eighteenth birthday. She is my first true girlfriend and I am her second boyfriend.

Sarah’s family welcome me with open arms. They said, “I was good for her,” and I knew she was good for me. Sarah was their princess, and to me, it felt like she could do no wrong. I slotted into their family life. It felt like I became the older brother to Gary; Sarah’s seven-year-old only sibling.

But Sarah had warned me. “It is not all honey and sugar. My parents may let me have my freedom but they are very protective and will be constantly vetting you, David.”

I knew Sarah was right. I knew I needed to be a better person and maybe less me…

That is what I had done; became less me, but that bothered me. I didn’t want our relationship to be an act. I wanted to be myself.

As for my parents, they loved Sarah. She was the daughter they never had, and I think they were both taken aback by just how good-looking she was. But to me Sarah was too quiet, still living in that protective shell and however much I liked her. I knew I wanted more.

So Sarah was beautiful but quiet and conservative. She often wore dowdy clothes, dressing down when others were dressing up. She never seemed ready to do new things, exciting things and I am not talking about sex, but life in general. Sarah always seemed to prefer the safe option.

“Give her time,” Lisa had said to me. I was trying my best to do that, but I wanted to show Sarah off. I wanted those dresses shorter, those jeans tighter. I knew I was wrong to think like that but it was me; I was attracted to women who showed skin. Women who acted like sluts!

Could I adjust?

There were hints though, of something Lisa had mentioned to me; the real Sarah.

I had been surprised when Sarah instigated our first sex together; it was in less than two weeks since we first got together.

“I miss it, David,” she had quietly said to me.  “Now I am on the pill I can enjoy sex more. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Don’t mind!”   

We headed straight away to the local “lover’s lane,” and it was Sarah who showed me where to go as I had no idea. We had sex in my car for the first time, but it felt out of character. I had expected Sarah to make me wait months.

The sex was good, very good, and I could tell that this was no first-time fumble. Sarah was, for her age, “experienced;” and Lisa’s words came rushing back to me…

“Sarah’s not so different to me.”

So sex with Sarah was good. Maybe the best I ever had.  She was a willing partner and during her sexual moans in our now regular missionary position car sex, she did drop the odd hint...

That there was more she wanted; that she preferred the doggy position though not possible in the confines of the car. That she wanted me to cum on her. That shocked me, and then there was the oral sex she gave me…

There was no question that Sarah knew how to give head, and she always swallowed. I knew it was a legacy from her previous boyfriend, he had “taught” her well. Often I just lay back, as Sarah’s head bobbed up and down and let my mind go back to that previous boyfriend. Our ghost and I wondered about him. The man now didn’t seem to exist but Sarah’s oral skills told me differently. I let her suck my cock to climax and never once, despite my warnings, did she not take my cum down her throat… 

She seemed to get off on it.

Yes, the signs were there of a different Sarah. Maybe a sluttier Sarah, just waiting for the right time to emerge; and that Sarah was, perhaps, more in tune with what I wanted long-term.

I should have understood that Sarah was learning to love again. That she had not fully recovered from her first boyfriend; and if I had known the details then, things would have been so different but Sarah was not ready to discuss. I was too immature with women and particularly relationships to see the issue. Let alone understand.

We did everything as a couple. Sarah watched me play sports. We spent many Sunday afternoon’s at Sarah parents' house for Sunday roast or later in the summer; barbecues where we used their round swimming pool or in the evening, the hot tub.

I should add that Sarah’s parent's house was the first place I ever experienced public nudity as they made it clear to me that they usually used the swimming pool and hot tub nude. My reaction made Sarah laugh but the warning was there to make sure I was aware that I might see Sarah’s parents naked!

Sarah and I always wore costumes and I never did see Sarah’s parents nude in the pool, but the idea of being outdoors and naked did linger in my mind. It was something I was interested in, and when I mentioned it to Sarah she laughed and said, “Maybe I could get used to doing that.” 

It was another sign that Sarah was not shy, quiet or dull. She was none of those things but like so many occurrences that happened then…

The meaning behind those words washed over me.

It was like the way Sarah sometimes looked at me. Something was going on behind those deep blue eyes. It was something that brought a grin to Sarah’s mouth. But when it happened, it reminded me of the cheeky grin that I had seen on Clare’s face years before.

It never occurred to me that Sarah may be falling in love with me!

As the months passed I started to become restless. A meaningful relationship was new to me and I start to feel trapped.  Maybe trapped is too strong a word; constricted would be better. I just felt I could not be me. 

Sarah and sports seemed to take up most of my free time. My mates seemed to have become secondary, though we did see most of them every Sunday night at the “Bat and Ball” disco.

I never met anyone who didn’t like Sarah, including my mates. She may be shy and demure but she was beautiful, and not just on the outside.

But I needed a break. I missed a little of that X-factor and I needed a little time to reflect and understand.  As beautiful as Sarah was, it felt as if somehow she had taken over my life! 

Was I ready for that?

So that was where we were as the last but one week of July approached, and my best friend, Mark asked me the question that would ultimately change my life…

“Do you have a passport?”