Mike phoned our order through as we took a seat. Lisa shuffled as close to me as possible, holding my arm tight. By the time we were settled, a waiter entered with a tray and served us the drinks we had ordered.

“So,” opened Mike, “tell me about yourselves and what brings you here today.”

We gave a potted history of us, listing the Mitch incident as ‘difficulties leading to counselling’. One of the things to come out of the counselling was that we had drifted apart in our interests and that should be one area of reconnection. Part of it was joining each other’s exercise regimes, Lisa started running, though she was not up to my distance yet, I joined her at the gym. Living where we did south lead to cliffs and north to the New Forest. It also made a lot of people think that we lived in Liverpool when we said we lived near Everton. What it also gave us access to was plenty of walks, which we had let drop off our list of hobbies.

On one of our first outings, we found the grave of Alice Liddell in Lyndhurst, she was the inspiration for Alice in Wonderland. That in itself was interesting to stumble over, but given ‘our’ New Year’s Eve, it touched both of us. It was little reconnections like this that, one by one, were picking up pieces of that mirror and glueing it back together again.

We had also discussed Lisa’s need to submit both with and without the counsellor. Bless the internet, I could not believe the amount of information that was available. That said, this covered just about every kink, lifestyle and any and everything related. It started with learning basic terms and how they related to our situation and had details all the way to the harshest of practices, which frankly scared the heck out of both of us.

Once we had explained all this to Mike, both taking turns to talk and fill in details. He smiled and picked up our papers off the table. After a few minutes reviewing them, he started to ask us some questions.

“So, Lisa has been aware of her need since before you met?”

Lisa nodded and gave some more info of her previous boyfriend, who was more Dominant than a boyfriend; although they had parted on good terms.

“How much did you explain to Peter and push him to try and take on the role you needed?”

Lisa looked at the floor and told Mike how at first she had been a little coy and hesitant to use certain words around me for fear of scaring me off. When we had tried, some things worked, some didn’t, but it did annoy her that I was so hesitant.

“And all this came to a head, for some reason, that I don’t need to know, and ended with you booking this session?” Mike didn’t wait for an answer and continued, “What is it that you hope to achieve?”

Lisa looked at me. “This is really on me. Lisa has spent nearly thirty years holding back and getting what little dribs and drabs she can from me. Some of that without me even realising, like how she pushed me to lead.

“I had not recognised how important this was to her, it’s been kicking around since the very early days in one way or other. Lisa summed it up really well when our marriage started to implode; when I said master it was with a lower case ‘M’, not a capital.”

“Actually,” Lisa interrupted, “I think the words I used included something like ‘you spit the word out’. Don’t pussyfoot, P, you hated the idea.”

Now it was Mike’s turn, “Thank you, Lisa, even without all the other information, you have confirmed my perception from the questionnaires. It’s obvious that you are the submissive, however, you do seem to need taking in hand.”

Lisa must have felt me tense as she started to stroke my arm to settle me.

“If we were in the main club, there would be potential for issues if people witnessed that exchange. Peter, Lisa should not be interrupting you, she should not talk to you disrespectfully and she really should be using honorifics.

“Yes, we pride ourselves on being a good club and very novice-friendly, but seeing that could cause a couple of reactions. Some might see Lisa as a target, 'she's obviously not being trained properly', 'I can do a better job’, ‘I can take her from him', shit like that.” When we exchanged looks, Mike carried on, "Ah, I'm guessing I hit a nerve. Sorry, I won’t pry,” he finished, holding up a hand.

“The other reaction that you might elicit is one of genuine concern. Lisa has needs, and they would see these not being met and would feel sorry for her and may offer to help. These offers may or may not come to you. If people see you not looking after her, they may not respect you as a Dominant and therefore not feel the need to talk to you.” Mike paused to let that sink in.

A smile broke over Mike’s face, “It’s fine, Peter, I get that is why you are here, but I don’t think a reality check hurts either.

“When you go into the club proper, you will see sights that may shock you. If not shocked, I’m sure some will at least surprise you. What Lisa did, interrupting you and showing disrespect, should have been admonished straight away, even if it was just a look. You, Peter, seemed proud that she did it.

“Let me explain. In the vanilla world, equal rights, speaking your mind, et cetera, are all virtues to be proud of and encouraged. If you are going to have a D/s relationship, then you will take on certain roles that ignorant people may look at as archaic. This, I think, is where your issue is, Peter.”

“How do you mean?”

“All of your relationship with Lisa has been spent supporting and encouraging her. Wanting the best from and for her. This is perfect and in some ways even more relevant to the lifestyle. It’s something I hope you never stop. However, she has always been your equal and again should remain so, but with a twist. You have seen examples of our lifestyle on TV and in books, read stories in newspapers, even seen or read that fifty shades… fiction. Correct?”

“Well apart from fifty shades, Lisa won’t let me,” I laughed as I replied.

“Uhuh.” He turned to Lisa and asked, “Topping from the bottom again?”

Lisa looked abashed and blushed before looking at her feet and Mike smiled and chuckled. I looked at both of them, feeling at times, despite what I thought I had picked up, like I was learning a whole new language. Mike saw my confusion and explained what he meant.

“From what I have read and in our brief conversation, Lisa is what many may refer to as a brat. That is, in itself, self-explanatory. Think of the little brat, stomping and squealing to get their own way. In the lifestyle, a brat will speak up, when they should be quiet. Will not do as they are told, sometimes to provoke a punishment, sometimes just because.” Lisa sniggered at this and Mike raised an eyebrow, before continuing, “And many other different things.”

“Some see topping from the bottom as another bratty behaviour. Ordinarily, the top is the Dominant person, the bottom is the submissive one. Basically, it is her demanding, stating, stomping, seducing, cajoling, bribing you in one way or other to either get her way or lead your relationship in the direction she wants. However, she will always defer to you in the end and take the submissive role or at least claim that she does. This is very different from proper negotiations that you should include as an integral part of your journey.”

“Well, to be honest, she has had to. I’ve got no real idea about being a dominant or master or what have you, so Lisa has had to help and guide me.”

Lisa had elbowed me in the ribs and when I looked at Mike his eyebrows were pulled together.

“Peter, how do you feel about being Lisa’s Dominant or Master?”

“Why do you ask? Specifically, now?”

“When you said ‘dominant, master or what have you’ I heard exactly what Lisa has; spitting the words out.”

“I feel a lot better about it than I did, but I am still scared shitless.”

“What scares you?” Mike asked.

I sighed. “Getting it wrong. Getting it wrong and hurting Lisa or getting it wrong and pushing her away.”

Lisa put her arm through mine and squeezed at the same time shuffling closer. Mike smiled at us both.

“From all the signs I’ve seen; that you are here, that you are trying, mean everything to her.”

“Yes! Oh, P, you don’t know just how much it means. I know this is alien to you, I know you don’t understand, but you are willing to try. That means the world to me. You won’t lose me, you won’t push me away. If you hurt me, I know it was an accident because you are trying, for me.

“P, I trust you with my everything, if you do something that isn’t for our kids, it is out of your love for me. The counselling has helped us see each other clearer and I love you only and would only put you second to our kids. Though, they are big enough to take care of themselves. Everything I do is out of my love for you.”

“There you go, Peter, all sorted, you can go home now,” Mike said with a smile.

Lisa looked up at me and when I nodded, she turned to Mike and said, “In his defence, he is getting better. It seems to be in new situations that Sir has a bit of a wobble, but he is much better.”

“And that’s what brings you here today,” Mike said. “You want to learn more about the lifestyle, about being a Dominant, about how to train and tame a brat, all that sort of stuff?”

I looked at Lisa before looking back at Mike and answering, “I think that broadly sums it up.”

Mike got up and ordered some more drinks, which were brought to us fairly quickly. As we waited for them, he explained some more about how he saw the evening progressing. Starting with some explanations and descriptions of some terms, then speaking to us separately and finally a tour of the club with the offer to have a few drinks with other members.

“Okay, Peter, I’m going to treat you like you know nothing and that Lisa has not told you anything. It’s not to be patronising or to try and make me appear better than you. Outside of all of this,” Mike said, waving his fingers, indicating the club, “you don’t know what I do, nor I you. I have no idea what you know, but would rather not make assumptions. So please, don’t take offence.”

I nodded that I understood and Lisa squeezed my hand.

“One thing to bear in mind, through my descriptions I will use masculine words, just for simplicity. More properly, women should be called Dominatrix and Mistress. You will also hear Dom and sub because it’s easier and quicker. If you hear someone referring to a woman it is Domme, D-O-M-M-E, as opposed to D-O-M for men.

“BDSM,” he started and then paused to mull over his next words. “I suppose there are two eras pre and post-internet. Before the internet, it was spoken about in hushed whispers, like many lifestyles and kinks that have become more mainstream over the last twenty years. There were clubs like this, small clubs held in houses and generally only found through word of mouth or advertising in adult publications. There was a little exposure on TV, but that tended to show what they felt was most shocking and 'abnormal'. Leather-clad people, in gimp masks, being led around on leads with private parts hanging out. Others being tied to crosses and being whipped and beaten. Always there was the undercurrent of sex, generally group sex.”

Mike laughed a little at this and took a sip of his drink.

“There were also a lot of bands from the late seventies and early eighties, either punk or heavy metal, but not mainstream groups, that identified with leather, whips or bondage. So many factors that helped to build the impression this was more of an underground lifestyle.

“The internet was a blessing and a curse. It gave access to information, people and advertising. Really whatever your interest you could find out more about it, find places to explore it, talk to people who know. It soon became evident that there were people in the world that got off on annoying others, be it joining a forum for sex and calling everyone sinners or spouting loads of rubbish like pretending to be Masters or Dominants and either being trolls or seeing it as a chance to be bullies. What all of these… people forget is they are dealing with people, toying with their emotional and mental well-being and if it goes into the real world their physical health too!”

Mike snorted and took a deep breath.

“Sorry, I can feel myself about to start on a rant and that won’t help you. The simple thing is to remember to take a step back and reality check what you are told and I recommend you do exactly that with what you learn here tonight.

“BDSM previously was viewed as orgies full of whipping, sex and restraints and only practised by sexual deviants. Okay, maybe that’s more a tabloid version, but you understand what I mean. Even now people do not understand it, which I get, but some think of it as some way to justify an abusive relationship. Sadly, just like any type of relationship, there will be those that are abusive. The trouble is many do not understand the lifestyle and I’m sure some that don't even realise they are being abusive or abused. A Dominant might think he has to be harsher on his submissive and get it wrong. Alternatively, a submissive might think he needs to put up with more to keep his Dominant, rather than working with them to find their limits. If I can help one person, I'll be happy.”

Mike paused and took a sip of his drink before continuing.

“Just like vanilla relationships, there is a whole spectrum in this lifestyle. People that only practice occasionally, perhaps only at clubs once a month or so; right through to people that live the lifestyle. The same goes for what they practice, I get the feeling you will be on the lighter end, being dominant, some spankings, a little bondage, but nothing too extreme. Some will not have any restraint or physical punishments, in general practice, the sub might be what some call a service sub and in bed at their Dominant's whim. Then you can go through to the other extreme where there are people that get off on giving and receiving severe pain.” Mike held up his hand, anticipating my next question, "You would have to talk to practitioners to find out what they get from it; there are some that are members here. Though there are private rooms for them, even then the club management very much discourages bodily fluids being spilt on the premises.

“Through all of this, the club promotes safe, sane and consensual in all activities, both in the club and the lifestyle in general. And yes, I’m aware that might sound contradictory given my last example, but it doesn’t have to be. You might also hear RACK, it is an acronym standing for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Hand in hand they create a good framework to practice within.”

Mike paused and took a drink, looking at both of us.

“Do you have any questions?”

“No, this is pretty much what Lisa has told me and what we have discovered. What I found most shocking were the two extremes; both how harsh some people practice, but also that some people are almost indistinguishable from what you might call a normal relationship.”

Mike smiled as he replied, “Yes, sometimes it's just that little twist and that is far easier if one of the partners has never had any needs in that sense. Which is where your problem lies… but!” Mike emphasised this, "but, hopefully, your love and with a little help, you will be able to find a place that works for both of you."

Lisa squeezed my hand again and I looked at her, then leant down and kissed her.

“Next I suppose is roles. Ultimately for many, it is a form of role-play. It might be a chief executive of a company just wanting to give up all responsibility from time to time. However, there are those that practice full-time; it really is a lifestyle to them. The thing to remember is you could meet a hundred people and be told a thousand different definitions of all of this.

“For Dominants, there are two basic roles, Dominants and Masters. They are often used interchangeably, but if you want to be a pedant, a Master has slaves and pets and a Dominant has submissives. Just to confuse things, Master may be used as an honorific too; so hearing someone referring to their Dominant as Master, doesn’t necessarily mean they are a slave.”

Mike smiled and took a drink.

“So, all Masters are dominant, but not all Dominants are Masters and slaves are submissive, but not always the other way around?” I asked, with Mike nodding to confirm.

“Sets with subsets and names and titles used along with these and in different situations.”

“Yes, that’s pretty much it. Again, you will hear all sorts of things and again different meanings from different people at different times. Don’t get too obsessed, but it will be pretty obvious when you hear something based on the context of what is said and what is going on.

“Have you and Lisa sorted anything out name and title wise? I notice she slipped in a ‘Sir’, earlier.”

“Yes, it tends to be Sir, though when we started to discuss this properly, I offered to be her Master. Was that wrong?”

Mike smiled, “No. Honestly, Peter, so long as everyone involved is happy, there is no real right or wrong, taking into consideration rule one.”

“Rule one?”

“Safe, sane and consensual.”

“Ah, yes, sorry.” I heard Lisa give a little snort of a laugh.

“Okay, now I’d like to have a chat with Peter, one to one. Do you mind waiting here, Lisa?”

“No, Sir, that will be fine.” I looked at her, surprised at this.

Lisa put her hand on my arm, “It's an honorific when I use it with someone like Mike. He's a Dom, but he's not my Dom. That is only you. When I call you Sir, it is both an honorific and a term of affection. I have and will call you Master too, that is something I won't call anyone else because I can and will only have one Master, you.”

I put a hand on the side of her cheek and leant down to kiss her. When we broke, she whispered, “Now go have fun with your new friend.” Her grin split her face and her eyes lit up the room.

Mike led me into an adjoining room, that was far dimmer than where we had been.

“Lisa’s a lovely woman, you’re a very lucky man.”

“I am.”

“She’s lucky that you are willing to explore this for her. I want to show you something before we talk more though.”

Mike flicked a switch and signalled me to stand in front of a mirror. It was two-way, showing me the view in the room that we had just come from.

“There is a way to tell if the mirror is being used, I’ll show you when we go back in. In the meantime, I ask that you try to let the scene play out, even though some of it may get a bit uncomfortable. At any time you want to stop, say and it will, without question. Okay?”

“I suppose,” I answered.

Mike pressed another button and a strange man walked into the room with us. He was dressed in a suit and had an air about him. Mike introduced us and gave me an idea of what he was going to do. He left the way he had come in, rather than through the joining door.

“I thought this was to have a chat with me.”

“I stretched the truth. I wanted to observe how Lisa reacts to something like this, and you. Also, you can see and ask any questions you might have.”

When I looked back to Lisa, she was looking at one of the pictures, but the opening of the door grabbed her attention. The stranger walked in, he had left via the door he had come in, so entered the other room from a different one to which Mike and I had left.

She smiled, she was so beautiful. To me, it was always blinding. “Hello,” she said to the stranger.

“Just hello?” came the stern reply.

As he walked across the room, I saw someone was with him this time. She was quite pretty but dressed only in lingerie, heels and what looked like a leather collar. I saw cuffs around her wrists and as she moved noticed they had clips on similar to the ones Lisa had worn on ‘our’ New Year's Eve.

Lisa paused before responding, “Okay, for argument’s sake; hello, Sir.”

“Hello,” he responded and sat down in one of the single chairs. “While your Master is away, I’d like to have a chat.”

When he sat, the woman with him knelt at the side of his chair and he started to stroke and caress her much as one might stroke a pet dog or cat. Lisa had also sat down in the place she had previously been. The stranger looked her up and down and his submissive seemed quite shocked and started to nod her head to Lisa and then the floor.

“Is everything okay?” asked Lisa.

“First, you forgot Sir or Master again. Second, you should be kneeling.”

I could see Lisa bristle at this and know I was no better. I looked at Mike who smiled back.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“First, Sir,” I could hear the acid in Lisa’s voice, “I only have one Master, my husband. Second, he has not told me I need to kneel and he is the only person I would freely offer it to.”

“Hmm, you haven’t had much training, have you? I would happily do that for your husband.”

Lisa was nearly spitting when she replied, “I would say it is you who needs training. You don’t just walk up to any submissive and start ordering her about or making suggestions about training her. You, Sir, are coming across as more of a bully and pretend Dom than someone warranting the title Sir, let alone Master!”

He sat back and rubbed his chin. I looked at his submissive and she looked like she was chewing her cheek. I could not make out if she was worried or trying not to laugh.

“I thought you were the submissive. Are you sure it’s not your husband?”

“Just because I’m a sub, doesn’t make me a walkover. I’m my husband's sub, not yours, I submit to him, and defend us to my last breath,” she snarled.

I could feel my chest puff up when I heard her say this, but I also noticed a smirk play over the lips of the stranger.

“And you think you are a good sub for him? Wouldn’t being a good sub include showing respect for other Masters?”

“I will do my best to be good for my husband and where we get it wrong we will help each other through it. As for showing respect, you sort of blew that when you said I should be kneeling. Just like the outside world, if I don’t know a person, I’ll give respect to them as a human and relative to their position. That is until they prove that it is misplaced.

“Your talk about training, disrespected my husband and Master, me and our marriage.”

Mike looked at me and said, “She's not just a brat, she’s a lioness too. Are you sure you can handle her? It will take a lot of training to tame her.”

This confused me, "This is the second time you have mentioned about taming her. What you see as a brat, and granted I know little to nothing about this lifestyle, I see as her spirit; it’s what makes Lisa her. I love how she challenges me, how she calls me out if I screw up.

“Taming suggests quashing this, flattening her spirit. There is no way I would want that and if it ever happened, I would do everything I could to stop it and bring her back to life, to the Lisa I love, no matter how long it took.

“And yes, I think… no, I know I can handle her.”

“It depends on the individuals, taming may mean having her jump to your every command and, as you put it, quashing her spirit. Honestly, it’s not something I like, but refer to rule one again. It could also mean having a set of protocols and punishments. For instance, when she laid into me, perhaps have her asking your permission before she did so and spanking her if she doesn’t. Of course, if she enjoys being spanked, then it’s not much of a punishment.

“The other thing I have noticed is that she doesn’t tolerate fools easily and she questions what is said to her. Some might argue that her challenging you is topping, others might see it as her training you. However, it isn’t unknown for subs to poke and prod to see if they can find holes in what their Dom has said or the scene they are playing out. An element of your development as a couple could be filling all these holes for her. Other subs I have spoken to have said this makes them feel more secure in the scene and relationship.”

“Do you think Lisa will eventually kneel quietly, like his sub?”

“I think you could find a point where both of you would be comfortable with your equivalent. To answer your actual question, I don’t think Lisa will ever stop being a brat; I don’t think you have to be afraid of crushing her spirit. One reason for this is because you don’t want that.

“Within your roles though, you must remember to be strong with her. She may call you out, press buttons, be rude and obnoxious, but it is as much her spirit and playfulness as it is her need for someone strong to dominate her. That doesn’t mean physical punishments, necessarily, but knowing even it’s her idea, it’s only happening because you are allowing it. Lisa will disobey you and defy you, but she’s very intelligent, not only will she be formidable, she’ll be highly creative with it.

“Another aspect of taming could be overpowering her. There is the force of will, but in certain scenes, you may want to blindfold her, for example, and she might refuse to keep it on. If you are in a scene, this is a 'make me’ cry. She will get off on you physically overpowering her, pinning her down while you put cuffs on so she can't reach the blindfold. I'm not talking about and would never condone forcing her against her will. It's forcing her against her struggling, if that makes sense, whack her arse to shock her and distract her, warn her of other punishments, but you will have to be creative too. Then when she can't remove the blindfold reaffirm who's boss, beyond just the physical domination. She will spit and claw you every step of the way, but you could have a wonderful time together.

“Don’t look so worried, I’ve seen how she looks and speaks to you and unless it’s a show, she loves you and I reckon she will help you all the way.”

Our attention turned back to the mirror.

Thanks to cbears52 and ladyblue69 for proofreading and sanity checking... or checking for my sanity.

Thank you to the moderators helping me getting this published

And thank you to everyone that reads, comments and/or votes.

All feedback is welcome, either in the comments or via a direct message.