A woman wearing a sheer blue bra is moving towards me; big nipples are clearly visible through the fabric. I instinctively try to reach for them, but I can’t move my arms. She fades away as bright sunlight fills my eyes. It slowly dawns on me that she was a dream. The events of the previous evening are coming back: frantically running to the bedroom like we were escaping a fucking fire, lying on my back with Fawn hopping...

I merge onto the westbound freeway with Google Maps tracking the address Fawn gave me. It’s only been about six hours, but after her flirtatious behaviour earlier today, I can’t wait to see her again. Google estimates arrival in a little less than an hour. I try listening to a podcast, but my brain ignores it in favour of reliving our meeting in the café. I set my latte on the table by the window and pull back a chair. Th...

Looking around for more customers, I saw a naked couple waving at me from a distance: an old bugger, hung like a horse, with hair everywhere and a big beer belly, and an even older woman with big, saggy boobs. I started walking towards them. Damn, they’re ugly motherfuckers. I thought to myself. He’s got more hair coming out of his nose and ears than I have pubic hair! It was a Saturday in July and a God-awful hot day. I...