I’ll never forget the first time I dreamt about the dude down the hall. I knew the guy’s name was Chad, but apart from that, I didn’t know much about him. He didn’t seem to talk much, but he had a hell of a body. Our dorm had communal showers, so I’d seen him naked more than once. My friends and I had always hated having to go there, but Chad had never seemed to mind. I figured he must’ve been an athlete, so he’d probably...

That weekend was full of more male nudity than I’d ever seen in my life. We went without a stitch of clothing morning, noon, and night. But the more time went on, the more comfortable I got with it. By Sunday evening, I’d spent so much time with the other pledges that I’d practically memorized every inch of their bodies. Brody had a scar from where he’d gotten his appendix taken out. Ryan had a birthmark on his right inne...

When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find myself alone in my bed. Chad had disappeared and had taken his stuff with him. Shit, I thought. At first, I wondered if that night had been a dream. Then I realized it was real, although I hated the thought of Chad sneaking out. Finally, I looked at my phone, and I saw he’d left me a text. That was awesome dude, it read. See you on Friday. I practically felt my hear...

When I went home that weekend, I felt like my world had turned upside down. I tried to put a good face on things, so I didn’t say a word to my parents, or to anyone else for that matter. But the truth was that Chad had totally thrown me for a loop. I’d never felt so strongly about anyone—much less a dude—and I didn’t know what to make of it. I tried texting Chad, and I messaged him on Facebook, but he never responded. I t...

By the time I got home, I’d tried to put all thoughts of my sexuality aside. I pretended I wasn’t the guy who’d been prowling around the net, and who’d just spent the night in Boystown, and who’d hooked up with a random guy along the way. I forced myself to play the same part I’d been playing for years. I was supposed to be the golden boy, the guy who’d been popular in high school, and the son who’d always made his parent...

By that point, I was starting to realize how life-changing being gay really was. It wasn’t just the sex, despite all the mind-blowing ways I’d found to get off, and the fact that I’d basically gotten addicted to cock. It also meant a lot for my future. Before that summer, I’d always assumed I’d be like the people I’d grown up with: I’d settle down with a nice girl, and we’d have a few kids, and maybe a dog, while I worked...

Chad seemed totally different from the guy I’d known before. He’d always been the frat boy brimming with confidence, if not downright cockiness; or at least that was how I’d always seen him. Now he was stumbling over his words, with a scared-shitless look on his face. I didn’t know if I’d ever seen a grown man so vulnerable. He didn’t want to talk in public, so we walked to his car, which was parked around the corner. We...

That Monday morning, for the first time in my life, I woke up in the arms of a dude. And not just any dude: he was the one I’d lusted for all this time, the one who’d made me realize I was gay, and the one I’d lost my man virginity to. I still couldn’t believe I’d had a similar effect on him. I’d assumed our little fling was just physical, but now I knew there was more to it. Part of me was nervous, because I didn’t know...

The first week of the semester was as crazy as could be. It wasn’t enough that I was juggling my new classes, settling into my new apartment, and all that other stuff that I’d expected to do. Now, on top of all that, I was setting out on a new relationship—and that was the part that terrified me the most. I still hadn’t gotten used to the word “boyfriend”. Chad and I had only used it a few times, and only in private. The...

Chad and I loved the vibrator so much that we started looking for other toys to play with.  I was tempted to go to an actual sex shop, but we didn’t know of any nearby, and we didn’t want to be found out.  So we did the next-best thing, and we went shopping online. We found most of the online sex shops were straight, like Liberator, Lover’s Lane, or Adam & Eve.  But there were also a few gay ones like Adonis, Boyzshop, or...

Rush Week was a weird experience that fall. It was actually kind of nostalgic: the Kap Eps went through the same drill every semester, so it felt like we were re-living the time when Chad and I first met. The big difference this time—aside from us being a couple—was that we weren’t newbies anymore. Now we were helping call the shots and deciding which of the rushees would get a bid. It was pretty hot to think we could sen...

By that point, my relationship with Chad seemed to have taken over my life.  I spent practically all my time thinking about him, or sneaking around with him, or worrying what might come between us, or some combination of all three. My sex dreams had taken on a whole new dimension.  I still fantasized about Chad, yet my fetish for group sex was still alive and well.  I kept picturing Chad jacking off at the gym, and I imag...

I didn’t want to come out right then, and I didn’t like the way Amy was forcing my hand. But I also knew that if she hadn’t picked up my phone, then someone else could’ve seen it—most notably my mom—which would’ve been even worse. Only one thing was clear. Between my family and the Kap Eps, I just couldn’t avoid the truth anymore. The real question was how to go about it. I stayed up late watching coming-out stories on Yo...

That week, we put our other sex toys to good use. Chad was partial to the anal wand; he made me fuck him with it a half-dozen times, in a half-dozen different ways. Personally, I was more into masturbators myself, especially when used in conjunction with a cock ring. We both liked the dildos, which were still getting plenty of action. We especially liked to do what we called an instant flip. I would bottom for Chad while...

When finals week rolled around, everything around us ground to a halt.  There were no parties on the Row, no meetings for any student groups, and of course, no regular classes.  But at that point, finals were the least of my concerns.  All I could think of was the winter break to come. I kept pulling up my e-mail, where Chad had sent our flight confirmation.  It felt so official to see our full names together in all caps:...

I stood motionless in the doorway. Mrs. Collins stared back at me. Her eyelashes seemed to flutter, and she made a point of tossing her hair. I tried to gauge how much she’d had to drink. This can’t be happening, I thought. She’s Chad’s mom. She can’t seriously be coming on to me. Can she? “You work out, don’t you?” she asked. I cinched up my bathrobe. I had to force myself not to answer the question. “I-I should really g...

When we left the beach, it almost felt weird to be wearing clothes again. After all, we’d been naked for most of the day. We’d been so free and so open that even my t-shirt and shorts felt uncomfortable. Chad didn’t say a word till we got in the car. But as soon as we shut the car doors, he seemed to be dying to talk. “Dude,” he said, “holy shit! That was something else. I can’t believe we just did that, I mean...” I wait...

We ended up spending the night at the twins’ place. Their bed wasn’t meant for four people—at least not for actual sleeping—but we made it work. We basically got really friendly: whenever one of us moved, the rest of us would feel it. When I woke up the next morning, I found our blanket had fallen to the floor, and a bunch of our limbs were draped over the others. I was basically lying in a pile of man flesh. I took a dee...

When Chad and I got back to campus, we spent the first few days coming down off our high.  Our vacation had been unlike any experience I’d ever had.  It had given me a taste of what life with him might really be like—not just dating him, or going to school with him, or being in a fraternity with him, but actually sharing a future with him. Our sexual explorations had also gotten us really horny.  We basically started fuck...

It turned out Chad had been right about his father. Mr. Collins had gone to the Middle East for some sort of covert operation, which had now gone seriously wrong. As far as Chad could gather, his dad had been gravely hurt and they didn’t know if he’d make it. He’d been airlifted to a medical facility in Germany, and it was anybody’s guess what was going to happen next. I took the news like a punch to the gut. In one fell...

When I logged on to my computer, I found my naked pictures were gone—at least from where Johan had posted them.  In fact, as far as I could tell, Johan’s alias had disappeared from the site.  My DMCA complaint seemed to have worked: Johan must’ve gotten suspended if not completely banned. I felt a hint of relief, but I knew it was too soon to let down my guard.  I was dying for Chad to come back to me.  If I was going to...

They say absence makes your heart grow fonder. Apparently the same thing is true for your dick. The longer Chad was gone, the more I found myself craving him. I missed the smell of his skin, the warmth of his touch, and the comforting weight of his body on mine. I even missed the things that had bugged me before, like the crap he’d leave lying on the ground, and the dull stuff he’d make us watch on T.V. Even just walking...

Chad and I just lay there for a while, holding each other and exchanging pillow talk. It almost felt like a dream. I’d imagined that night so many times that it hardly seemed real. My ass was sore from the pounding it had gotten, and I’m guessing Chad’s was too. But neither of us was complaining. After about an hour, we opened the wine Chad had brought. True to form, he’d gone for the good stuff, with a nice Merlot out of...

It turns out making a good sex tape is harder than you’d think. The first things we ran into were nerves. As soon as the thought sank in, I started getting cold feet. After all, I knew how much could go wrong, having been a victim of revenge porn before. At the same time, I trusted Chad in a way I’d never trusted anyone. We both knew so much about each other, from our bodies to our desires to everything else, so if there...

Our sex tape was surprisingly easy to edit. We had plenty of usable footage, so we mostly just had to decide which angles we liked best. We even cheated a little: we showed some of the same moments from different points of view, which made it look like we’d fucked longer than we actually had. I’d seen that technique used in professional porn, especially for cumshots, and my first instinct was to pooh-pooh it. But after tr...

Our lovemaking session was just as beautiful as I’d hoped. It happened right after we left the shop. We didn’t even make it back to my place—or to his, for that matter. We just made it as far as the forest, which was the closest place we could be alone. But it turned out to be just as well. Chad and I lay in a secluded spot, buck naked, while we caressed each other’s bodies. The trees around us swayed in the breeze, and t...

Chad and I were in no mood to talk to Brody right then. We were still naked, for one thing, and our bodies showed the telltale signs of having just gotten laid. I still had cum on my chest, while Chad’s hair was disheveled and his face was flushed. More importantly, we were still basking in the warm sexy afterglow of what we’d just done. The last thing we needed was a buzzkill like Brody. “That dude can go fuck himself,”...

That weekend was a blur of speeches, receptions, and other special events. We also got Skype calls from relatives like Rachel and Todd. Of course, Amy was always the star of the show. Mom got kind of weepy at times, and she kept taking pictures left and right. Dad was also worked up, but in a totally different way: he asked a million questions about Amy’s plans for law school, and he offered a bunch of advice that she pro...

My first few days working for Thaxter went just as I’d expected. I had to do everything from bussing tables to taking orders to running cards, basically the same work I’d been doing before. The main difference was the atmosphere, which of course was very gay. Thaxter wanted to cater to every kind of mo, from leather bears to drag queens to everything in between. It made for a hell of a work environment. Some guys were so...

It took me a while to put my feelings into words, but once I did, they seemed to come tumbling out. I told Chad all about what had happened. At first I thought it might be TMI—especially when I went into detail around my jacking off—but he never seemed to flinch. He seemed to genuinely care about what I had to say, and what I thought we should do. He seemed to go out of his way to make me feel like I could tell him the tr...