‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Were strewn women’s garments: some bras and a blouse.
Silk stockings weren't hung from the chimney with care,
But rather strewn all over here, and some there!

Assigned the night shift, I’d gotten quite surly.
But a scheduling glitch had sent me home early.
“Honey I’m home!” as I entered, I almost did bellow.
But I paused as I spied women's panties of … yellow?!

Who the fuck wears that color? I confusedly wondered.
Not my wife! Into what betrayal've I blundered?
Who has she been fucking? Do I dare even know?
I presently mustered to turn and just go,

When from the bedroom there arose such a squealing,
Passionate whines, to my instincts appealing
... as a hypocrite. If with a man, such affront!
But I'm pleased if she's sucking not cock, but a cunt?

I spoke not a word, down the the hallway I crept
Towards the bedchamber where we normally slept.
The moans of delight grew louder and louder
From the same room where last night I'd plowed her.

Then what appeared to my wondering eyes made me shocked
When I burst in and found her with TWO friends, defrocked!
Surely my entry'd made my sweetheart most ruffled,
But with a cunt in her face, her outcry was muffled.

"Oh shit!" did they scream as they covered themselves,
Then, grinning, wife blurted, "Meet my good elves!
"I've curated this gift for my husband so true,
"Merry Christmas, Joe! I've warmed them for you!"

Money being so short this year, was’t thrift
That drove her to bequest this wonderful gift?
More likely quick thinking when caught in the act!
But the outcome is all that matters in fact.

And thusly resolved this scenario dicey,
We progressed to acts sweet, salty and spicy!
The first step, as we four converg’ed to kiss,
Led to much more depraved, deplorable bliss.

I sampled them both - after, of course, my good wife -
And had the veritable time of my life!
Every hole was filled, every pussy was eaten,
And when we were done, my pecker most beaten.

Regardless if your Yule not boast such delights,
I bid Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night,
Knowing no eve'd ever match - 'tis not to discuss -
These three Twats the Night Before Christmas.