Laura

Tears flowed, they flowed down my cheeks and Kazumi’s. Tommy smiled and just winked. Then we all heard it together; I started to giggle, Kazumi looked confused, Tommy dropped his head onto my shoulder.

“That fucking doorbell… I swear someone is going to get it shoved…”

He patted our bums to move and got up to answer the door. Kazumi turned and picked up her top. While I explained how many times we had been interrupted by the doorbell, which made her smile.

I had a minor panic when I heard Tommy say “Sure come in.”

My foot was aching a little from going up the stairs at more than a hobble earlier. A bit of a frantic look around found Tommy’s t-shirt hanging from the window opener. Kazumi quickly retrieved it for me, and I slipped this over my head and sat down.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” he said.

Then the visitor preceded him into the room, barefoot. The comment made sense now, he was asking them to remove their shoes. Tina smiled when she saw me, then frowned when her eyes fell on my foot.

“It’s a long story, in summary, he made me take my shoes off, then walk on broken glass.”

Kazumi snorted and Tommy raised an eyebrow, “Would you like a drink?” he asked.

“I’m good thanks. Just being nosey old me, I saw you were back, thought I would pop in and say ‘hi’. Did you have a good time?”

Tommy spoke again, “We did thanks. Actually, mostly a very good time.

“Tina, this is a close friend of ours, Kazumi. Kazumi, Tina, one of our neighbours.”

Kazumi jumped up and gave Tina a little bow, “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Tina, as she would, took it in her stride and with a smile, she said, “Thank you and to meet you.” She finished with a slight bow, but not as low as Kazumi’s.

“But you have a guest, I’m interrupting. I was just popping over to see how you were, we can catch up another time.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow again, and I understood what he meant, “It’s not a big deal Tina, but how would you and Luke like to come over tomorrow afternoon?” I paused and as she was about to answer, continued, “Could I be really cheeky and ask you to ask Bev and John and Diane and James? We’ll do a light afternoon snaky type lunch and I can bore you with my pictures.”

“Ooh, half-naked men? Three of us will be here!” she laughed and put her hand on Tommy’s arm.

“Thank you, Laura, even if your pictures are as bad as you are implying, it will be nice to get together as a group. Do you have any plans for Christmas?” she held up her hand. “It’s okay, it will come up tomorrow and Bev will want answers.” She laughed as she continued, “You know how Mrs Organised is. Just thought you might like a heads up.

“I’ve got your number Laura, I’ll text you later to confirm who can come. I would text Tommy, but you might not know we were coming, until after we’ve been,” she patted his arm as she said this. “Anyway, I’ll see myself out.”

“Nonsense,” replied my gallant brother. Ever the gentleman, he saw her to the door.

As soon as I heard the door close after their goodbyes, I got up and hobbled to him. I threw myself in his arms, wrapping mine around his waist and burst into tears. He, of course, didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me. I immediately felt safe and secure again.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Tommy. I’m sorry, I’m just a horrible, selfish bitch.”

Where his chin had been resting on my head, it moved away. I guessed he looked over to Kazumi, before saying, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry, you’ve allowed me so much freedom to find out what I need and when I thought you had done something with Kazumi, I felt jealous. Now when you were talking to Tina, it all surged up again. When she touched you, when you saw her to the door; I just felt jealous. I…

“What’s wrong with me Tommy?” I lay my head on his chest.

“Selfish, jealous…” I looked up and he was grinning.

“Didn’t we have a similar conversation last week? Only with me being the selfish, jealous one. There’s no rush, we are building our own rulebook. Feeling our way and finding what both of us are comfortable with. Hell, it took a year to get comfortable enough with some of our feelings.”

He looked over my head at Kazumi before continuing.

“First there is us. Everyone else must fit in around that. I hate to be harsh, but while there is breath in my body, I will defend us vehemently and at all costs.”

He took hold of mum’s, of my engagement ring, before continuing, “This is what this is all about, okay?”

“Thank you Tommy, I just get so confused. So many of these feelings are new to me that I wonder if I ever really loved him.”

I then turned to Kazumi, “I am sorry, Imoto, I do not want to lead you on, I just…”

Kazumi got up and ran over and hugged me, squeezing me between her and Tommy.

“Ane, I understand your confusion. I will do what I can to help if I need to keep my distance, I will, or if it’s something like earlier,” she blushed and giggled, “I will be more than happy to help. It is confusing for you and Tommy; I love you both and will do what I can to help.”

Tommy reached beyond me and pulled Kazumi in closer.

Tommy

I kissed Laura on the top of the head and patted her back, “I do believe we invited our new sister for dinner,” I said.

“Kaz, I don’t think I’ll be cooking, and I won’t have Laura doing it with her foot like it is. Is there anything you particularly fancy eating?”

Kazumi giggled until I raised an eyebrow at her when she smirked and gave a little bow. I produced the various takeaway menus that had been put through our door, then started to fiddle about on my phone.

“This, I think,” she said, handing me the menu for a local Italian restaurant.

We decided what we wanted, and I phoned it through to them. I sorted plates and put them in the oven and set the table ready. The last thing I did before leaving was put the oven on a low heat. This would warm the plates and have it ready to warm the dishes through when I returned. The restaurant was a five-minute drive, so it wasn’t long before I set off.

As soon as I put the key in the ignition, I turned off the music. It was one of those occasions that peace and quiet, added to the isolation in the car, was what I needed to work through some of the thoughts racing around my head.

The afternoon had been fun, more than fun. The whole atmosphere was hotter than I’d ever known. However, Laura had wobbled again, her head was all over the place. This had become the course over the last year, first, she would wobble and then I would. Each time we had the support of the other. I had a little smile to myself, there was something about Tina that triggered strong feelings in Laura.

The afternoon had stirred up more questions in me too. Many times at university with my friends, we had talked about how we would like to see our girlfriend with another woman. Now that I appeared to be on the cusp of something along those lines, I really wasn’t sure. The argument was always that a man is a potential threat, a woman is not. Two things jumped up and slapped me hard.

First, thinking a woman wasn’t a threat was archaic. It was 2017, over three years since same-sex marriage had been legalised in the United Kingdom. It had also been fifty years since male homosexual acts had been decriminalised. Even more significant, lesbian sexual acts had never actually been illegal here.

Secondly, if a man was a threat because he was better than me, I could overcome that. I could exercise, I could learn new skills, I could practice. All of which would be enjoyable. If it were a woman, the potential threat could be something that I might never be able to match.

This realisation only confused me further. There was a lot we all needed to talk about. I wanted Laura to find out about herself, what her needs were. At the same time, the thought of not stopping this before it went further and losing Laura terrified me. Throw into the mix that she was my sister and by all moral standards this shouldn’t be an issue. Ideally, we would both find other partners and conform to society. In doing so, no one would be upset with us, we wouldn’t offend anyone’s sensibilities and we could be miserable for the rest of our lives.

I had collected and paid for our dinner and was on my way home. I really needed to sort out how I was going to deal with all of this. I had an idea in my head, but I would need to talk with both Laura and Kazumi before I could make a final decision. I turned on the stereo and spun the volume up, driving the rest of the way with Meat Loaf blaring out of the car.

Laura

While Tommy was out, Kazumi and I talked more. I had discovered that I was not comfortable with something about Tommy and her. Well, to put it bluntly, I was a jealous, possessive, selfish bitch. I did pretty much tell Kazumi this and she just laughed it off.

“Laura, I know, I could see in the way you did not look, but you tensed up so tight when he smacked my bum. I thought you might explode.”

I dropped my head, I felt ashamed that I was being like this. Kazumi moved and sat next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

“It is okay, all these emotions flying around are confusing. I have the advantage I have had longer to get used to it and come to my own decision.”

This got my attention and I looked at her.

“I have seen it over the years and over this last year, it has just accelerated. Just as you do not find yourself turned on by other men, I think Tommy would be sort of similar.”

“Sort of? You mean other women?”

“No, I mean sort of. You are fulfilled by him and do not need to look elsewhere; to the extent that your libido turns off when it comes to other men. You will also fight off possible interlopers like a queen lioness.”

I chuckled at her mention of lions, thinking of the example I had given Tommy.

“From what I see of him, he doesn’t need anyone else, but he is a man. Using the lions again, males will spread their seed; the queen lioness will allow this just so long as everyone knows she’s in charge. So, he won’t switch off like you, but he is human.

“I think, it wouldn’t be so much him looking for someone else, but if like earlier someone else was there he would not want to exclude them. There is something to love about that because it comes from his heart. However, how do you want him to react?” She asked.

“That’s the hard part.” I went on to explain my thoughts around packs and alpha females, “It would be easy if it was any other bitch trying to get him; if he didn’t keep it in his trousers, I would hurt them both.” Kazumi giggled and gave me a squeeze when I said this. “You are so different though and I would fight to protect you with my last breath. However, I still found myself getting worried and everything else I told you.”

“Might it be that you feel out of control? You were letting Tommy lead, what would have happened if you told him to leave me alone?”

“Everything would have come tumbling down.” I bowed my head again, “I love our times when we make love, but when he gets in my head like that, I go to a different place. I’m always scared of it stopping if I say anything.”

“You must trust him fully?” She asked and I nodded. “As do I. Laura, if it makes it easier for you and Tommy, I will trust you and him,” she bowed her head now and her voice grew quieter, “to use me as you want.”

Stunned, shocked, surprised, scared, were just a few of the emotions that ran through me. I didn’t know what to say or do. I pulled Kazumi into the tightest hug I could.

“We would need to talk, all of us. Establish rules and lines; red, amber and green. Explain what we all want from anything that might happen.

“Now, Ane, please explain what it is about that lady, Tina, that gets you so wound up,” she was smirking as she said this, and I laughed with her.

“I have no real idea. Okay, she’s got children nearly as old as us; look at her she is beautiful. When you get to talk to her, she will just draw you in, it will be like what you say is the most important thing. She could win your heart before you knew what was happening. That said she only has eyes for her husband and I’m not sure she’s even aware of the trail of destruction she could leave in her wake.”

Kazumi gave me a funny look, “You say all this, but treated her like a friend.”

“I know, that’s the thing, she was just so warm and welcoming and most of all understanding. She clicked about Tommy and me and supported us without hesitation. I will always remember that.”

Kazumi just smiled and nodded. We both turned our heads to the door as we heard the bass beating from Tommy’s car.

Tommy

As I walked in, I saw Laura sitting at the table with Kazumi pottering about. Between us, we served up the dinner with a little nuking of the hot starters. I had bought a platter of meats, a selection of bruschetta breads and deep-fried mozzarella. While getting this ready I put the mains into the oven and Kazumi dished the salads into bowls. At other Italian restaurants, I would have garlic bread; but here they sold special breadsticks. They were more like mini loaves painted with salt and garlic butter. It was wonderful seeing Kazumi’s eyes light up the first time she tried them.

I placed my hand on hers, “Take it easy, you could easily fill up on those without thinking.”

Laura laughed, “Yes, then we could have more leftovers in the fridge.”

I had picked up a selection of salads to go with the hot mains, cannelloni, a beef ravioli and an arrabiata penne with chicken. Finally, I had just gone with tiramisu for dessert. Kazumi hadn’t had a lot of Italian food beyond pizzas but enjoyed the dinner. I pulled out the sake that we still had leftover and served us.

“We need to talk,” I started.

The girls told me everything they had discussed when they got to what Kazumi had offered, they both stopped and looked at each other, then at me.

“I’m not sure I like the phrasing, ‘To use as we want.’ It makes you sound like nothing more than a toy.” Kazumi dropped her head, “I won’t have that, and I won’t let Laura treat you like that.”

I looked over at Laura, who dropped her head this time, “I… I’m… just… I don’t know, I explained about packs and thought I would be fine as the alpha type female. But how can I be that when I am submitting to you?”

I was getting wound up, I should not have, but I was, “I don’t give a fuck about anything else, we will not be treating anyone as a toy.” I held my hand up to Laura, “No this is different to what we did before. That was just us, we are blood, we talked about it and we came to an agreement. It was just… different.

“Now we are talking of bringing someone else in, even if it’s only once in a while, even with our games we both respected each other. I would not degrade you, just as I didn’t feel degraded. I certainly will not degrade anyone else, nor stand idle while someone is.

“What do you want from it? Kaz? Me, what do I want? What are our fears? What about work, don’t forget I’m technically Kaz’s boss?

“The way I see it, I love you both, if not for Laura, Kaz and I may have got together. You are both curious, but I am nervous. On the one hand, it’s better that you experiment with each other as there’ll be no judging. On the other, if you find something between you, I could lose you both.”

“Oh no Tommy!” exclaimed Laura, “Never!” She waved mum’s ring at me, still on her finger, “This is what comes first for me and if anything threatens that, I will fight it tooth and nail.”

“Tommy,” spoke up Kazumi, “I understand your concern, Laura has expressed similar and we understand. That is what is behind my offer.” She broke eye contact and looked at the floor, “You are right I am curious, and this, for me is safest because I love you both and most importantly trust you, Tommy.” I saw her squeeze Laura’s hand as she looked at her, “I do trust you Laura, but a lot of that is built on my trust for Tommy.”

“That’s another thing,” I said, “You are both submissive at times. Not all the time, like you, Laura can hold her own in her job. What I don’t know is how often you want or need to submit in other areas of your life.” I looked at Kazumi but said no more.

“I can survive without submitting,”...