About Magical_felix

In the mood for something sleazy? Maybe even a little depraved? Then you've come to the right place! My stories are guaranteed to contain absolutely 0% romance! They are however jam packed with: plenty of crude dialogue, trashy settings, dirty words, cheaters, reluctance, naive young sluts, big booty hoes, moral-less whores, dirty boys, facials and tons of anal sex! Proceed with caution...

Pulling things out of my bag-O-tricks
Favorite Books:
Lord of the Flies, 1984, Preacher graphic novels, Bone graphic novels
Favorite Authors:
Favorite Movies:
Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula, Sexy Beast, Inglorious Basterds, Zodiac, Old boy, Drive, Gone Girl, Interview with the Vampire, Last of the Mohicans, Amores Perros, Cold Mountain, The life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Evangelion, Buffalo 66, Quills, Perfume, Boogie Nights, X-Men - Days of Future Past, Dazed and Confused, Scott Pilgrim, Spirited Away, The Count of Monte Cristo, Fight Club, Shawn of the Dead, Lone Wolf and Cub, Pulp Fiction, The kids are Alright, Lost in Translation, Way of the Gun, The Royal Tenenbaums, Downfall...
Favorite Music:
All sorts.
Date Joined:
03 Apr 2010
Page Viewed:
44,264 times
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: The random thread
Posted: 25 May 2015 00:23

Here's a random story for you.

Hmmm it wasn't a very hard puzzle to put together. It all fits. What was one of those quotes that I saw over the weekend? You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig? yeah, that was one of the 60 I saw over the weekend. Wasn't another one about not believing that revenge can turn around and bite you on your dumbass? Yeah I think it was that one. Oh but according to an onslaught of ecards, i'm a
a bitch
trailer trash
(I've never lived in a trailer park so don't know what that ones about)
a pig,
an elephant,
batshit crazy,
a liar,
a psychopath,
a sociopath,
a compulsive liar,
just plain old crazy,
told to shut the fuck up because I am nothing at all. Because ecards say it, it must be true! Well, guess what? I'm smarter than a bunch of people put together. Let's wait and see who Karma bites on the ass. If I had been left alone, I wouldn't have given anything a second thought.
Isn't this how drama starts? by a bunch of people ganging up on one person and causing trouble?

Trinket, I give you a lot of shit, like a lot of shit. But seriously, you okay dude? I know you're not a liar. I know you get riled up. Don't let people piss you off. Wear some armor. Trust your armor. Seriously, This post, this one, I am not trying to fuck with you. Just a little concerned after reading what you wrote.

Topic: The Quality of Stories and Poems
Posted: 24 May 2015 22:02

A story, in any genre, is good if it sparks your sense of wonder, curiosity, imagination or moves you in any way. Big or small.

Trying to apply theory or numbers to that is silly.

Topic: Club Zafia....
Posted: 24 May 2015 21:52


Topic: If aliens came to our planet...
Posted: 24 May 2015 21:43

You really do NEED to grow up. Clogging up LUSH with this childish BULLSHIT, how do you get AWAY with IT?

Topic: If aliens came to our planet...
Posted: 24 May 2015 21:17

Nah, I'm not related too you and I don't care what that drunk you call Mommy told you! I just stood there and laughed.

Now you're just being childish.

(And you didn't even capitalize one word in that last post. You're losing your edge.)

Topic: Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted: 24 May 2015 21:12


Topic: If aliens came to our planet...
Posted: 24 May 2015 19:42

given that there has never been any proof that the "missing link" ever did exist... it's equally POSSIBLE that our original forebears were the Neanderthals.

I don't know, maybe you should be studied. You certainly sound like you're at least half chimp. Maybe you're the missing link.

Posted: 23 May 2015 08:00

This isn't like when Ireland accidentally legalized meth, is it?

Topic: If aliens came to our planet...
Posted: 23 May 2015 00:31

Neither has any of the pure uncalled for shit you've thrown my way SPACE CADET. Suck it up butter cup then go tell your Daddy... Charlie Manson (I figure you MUST be his bastard child) that some of us eventually tire of you. And, who in the Hell said I was in Vietnam? Oh, one of your imaginary friends again... nevermind.

Do you wan't me to help you look for your marbles?

Topic: Mom arrested on terrorism for Facebook rant that called for "Death to all white cops nationwide
Posted: 22 May 2015 23:35

Oh wow!! ok no im not but thank yu u just made a meal by posting that to a mutual non friend..i was trying to calm it down is all..FFs U pooped on my head in the seagul forum an i never did anything to you except get manipulated i was new here

Goodnight Felix xo


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Stories Published By Magical_felix
Recommended Read Paramour

"I changed the ring tone for you when you call," Jack laughed. "Here we go, what is it?" Meggie asked, a slight trace of her southern roots in her voice. "Yakety Sax." "What?" "You know, that music from Benny Hill..." Jack held in his laughter, obviously proud of himself. "Change that!" "It's so perfect for when you call and your face pops up on the screen. I changed your picture...

Added 07 May 2015 | Category Reluctance | Votes 30 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 8,434 | 24 Comments

Editor's Pick Let Her Eat Cake

1 Week Before the Masquerade "That can't be your best line. What is it really?" Hector asked his new recruiting partner. "It is, I swear. Women love hearing things like that. Some of them laugh, but they still like it," Jonas answered, while parking their black SUV. "Whatever, man," Hector chuckled and continued. "I wouldn't tell you what my best line is either... But it's not even...

Added 22 Jun 2012 | Category Reluctance | Votes 82 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 45,181 | 34 Comments

Editor's Pick Mignonette

San Diego "Hello?" Jack answered his phone without checking who it was. "Monsieur Jacques, bonjour!" Jack furrowed his brow, lowered his phone and took a quick look at the area code. 702... Las Vegas. Bridgette, he realized. "Jacques? Have I reached monsieur Jacques?" Bridgette asked in a ridiculously over-the-top French accent. Jack laughed and asked, "What's with...

Added 27 Jun 2013 | Category Group Sex | Votes 36 | Avg Score 4.97 | Views 18,337 | 24 Comments

Editor's Pick Kingdom Come

Fucking Barber 12/21/12 Noah and Teddy just finished a joint and are waxing intellectual around the coffee table at Teddy's parents house. Neither of which are using the coasters provided by Teddy's mother. "You believe in that nonsense?" Noah dismissively asked as he flipped through the channels, settling on the news. "You never know, those Aztecs--" "Mayans,"...

Added 10 Jan 2013 | Category Hardcore | Votes 33 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 18,799 | 17 Comments

Recommended Read No Sympathy for Lilly Black

Saturday the 23rd, September 2012 ~I seek revenge on the sons of Adam. As reported to us by the sole survivor of last night's massacre. These were the chilling, deranged words allegedly spoken by the Equinox Killer, the blogosphere has simply dubbed as, Lilly Black. This is Red Alert News at Eleven with Dennis Thomson. Good evening ladies and Gentlemen I'm Dennis Thomson. 'Lilly...

Added 20 Sep 2013 | Category Supernatural | Votes 26 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 5,297 | 20 Comments

Recommended Read Stars and Clouds

Ethan   Ethan, dressed in just a pair of swim trunks and a bathrobe, walked to the lavishly decorated clubhouse of his gated community. He nodded at Theo, the night watchman, before entering. The pool room was indoors, heated, and most importantly, empty at midnight.  Ethan plugged his phone into a tiny speaker and hit play. He removed his robe and jumped into the pool. He tried to...

Added 07 Apr 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 26 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 3,179 | 21 Comments

Recommended Read Coffee, Cards and a Cabin

"It was so nice of you to have me and Tyler join you guys up here for the weekend! We really appreciate it," Brooke said to Amy, holding her cup of coffee close to her lips to protect against the chilly bite of the Sierra Nevada breeze before taking a sip. "Jacob and I have been up here so often, just the two of us, that we decided that this year we wanted some company and who better than...

Added 26 Nov 2011 | Category Taboo | Votes 57 | Avg Score 4.87 | Views 7,837 | 25 Comments

Recommended Read One Thing Leads to Another: Rumble Pussy

"Get the big boner ready because I've got a shit-load of water and some bull-rider," Christine said into her cell phone, explaining to Maria that she wished for her to clean their large bong because she possesses really good marijuana and a lot of time to kill. Maria looked up from her text book and asked, "You coming by now? Like, right-now-right-now?" "Yeah." "But, I'm studying." ...

Added 01 Feb 2012 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 54 | Avg Score 4.96 | Views 10,716 | 24 Comments

One Thing Leads to Another: Semen is Mostly Sugar?

Christine took a quick glance at the clock hanging over Mr. Vasiliev's desk. Fuck, only 2:15. I can't take 45 more minutes of Mr. V's class. Is Maria still meeting me after school? I hope she wants to get something to eat... Christine's mind wondered. Christine discreetly took her phone out of her backpack and slowly moved it to her lap out of Mr. Vasiliev's view. She opened her...

Added 13 Apr 2010 | Category Anal | Votes 76 | Avg Score 4.97 | Views 29,210 | 18 Comments

One Thing Leads to Another: Is he fucking her ass?

"Come over hoe, we are so fucking bored," Maria said as soon as Christine answered her phone. "Are you at your parents house? I don't want to kick it there, I want to get high." "I'm over at Tony's pad. Don't worry his roommates are gone, It's just us two." "Are you sure Maria? Because I can't stand those fucks." "I'm sure. Bring some shit over, yeah? I have the pipe with me, I'll...

Added 18 Mar 2011 | Category Hardcore | Votes 49 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 26,421 | 13 Comments

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