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Bad Pun Corner

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nicola
Matriarch
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
clum
Clumeleon
I keep getting hit by waves frequencies.

It hertz.
Liz
Scarlet Seductress
I got some shoes from my drug dealer recently, I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.

Liz
Scarlet Seductress
I saw a girl today who had 12 nipples. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?

clum
Clumeleon
I recently saw a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved. Its natural beauty was unpresidented.
GrushaVashnadze
Active Ink Slinger
"How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?"
"None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."

GrushaVashnadze's best stories:
Alison Goes to London (RR) - “A unique - and uniquely filthy - work of the imagination... Consider me sold.” (Jaymal)
The Cursed Cunt (RR) - "holyyyyy sheeeiiit.... Your writing is fucking fantastic" (CarltonStJames)
Snow White and the Seven Dildos (RR) - “Absurd genius… Brilliant.” (StarBelliedBoy)
Metamorphoses (RR) - “Your cultured filth is such a treat and the craft in this is sublime.” (CuriousAnnie)
And the rest are here.
Sheherazade
Pro Hoe
Quote by GrushaVashnadze
"How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?"
"None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."



How many fatalists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, why fight it?
Fluttered
Kinky Quill
Quote by Liz
I saw a girl today who had 12 nipples. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?



You can tell the old sow was milking it
I am glad that a flutter can mean so much, and be oh so powerful! Whilst I bring my own kind of chaos to those I choose to know everywhere, I do believe in Chaos theory, and I am glad that it is suggested that the fluttering wings of a butterfly can be felt the other side of the globe, it gives me hope that I can caress your soul.
nicola
Matriarch
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.
clum
Clumeleon
I heard a funeral director was starting to sell glass coffins.

Will it be a success? Remains to be seen.
Unknown User
Thankyou for the itty bitty laughs
clum
Clumeleon
Can’t believe some people don’t know what a will is.

I mean, it’s a dead giveaway.
Sheherazade
Pro Hoe
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
BradCarpenter
Active Ink Slinger
Jane was in a treehouse fucking all comers. It was a free cunt tree.
nicola
Matriarch
The worst pub I've ever been to was called "The Fiddle."

It really was a vile inn.
JustAnotherSapphic
Carey’d away.
If a car told its life story, would it be an autobiography?

Shoutout to the people who ask what the opposite of in is.

My heart has wi-fi and the password is Drew Carey.
Unknown User
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

But only a fraction of the people will find this funny
heidi
Active Ink Slinger
My friend ask me if I could name two structures that held water.

I said, "Well, dam...."