Quote by KimmiBeGood
Just a note
Thank you, Kimmi, for this. Your post is nuanced, sincere, intelligently argued, carefully worded, non-polemical, and buttressed by well-chosen examples. Therefore, it genuinely generates more light than heat. OK, I don't agree with everything you say (see my previous post above), but - more like this, please!
Quote by sprite
so, authors... think about ALL the stories you've ever read. Hemingway? Patterson? King? Tollkien? The Bible? how many of them had dialogue that looked like this:
"MAKE ME CUM!" she shouted.
the answer? none of them. there's no real good reason to capitalize every letter when writing a story. just the little descriptor - she shouted - should give readers the idea. just because you've seen it on other porn stories, doesn't mean it's the way to do it. also, adding letters - i'm going to cuuuuuummmmm! - is just as bad. stop it. please.
I like all caps, and repeated letters. Sometimes they are the perfect way to express anything loud or out-of-control - e.g. anger, orgasm etc. J.K. Rowling uses all caps, as does Terry Pratchett, and George Orwell. Jaymal, CarltonStJames, VioletVixen, and doubtless many others use them, along with repeated letters. DeviantSusie makes a positive art-form out of repeated letters, and she does it so well: have a look through her stories, and you'll see what I mean.
Why not just use descriptors? Well, you can - and sometimes this works very well. But I like, when possible, to show rather than tell. Expressing the "music" of a character's speech, i.e. its rhythm, its resonance, its weight, its pacing, through unconventional orthographies, can save unwieldy descriptive vocabulary, especially at a moment of high drama in a story, or a sexual climax. It conveys the subtleties of how that character is feeling, without too much narrative intrusion. "I'm c-c-cccoming" is completely different from "I'm cominnnnnng..." from "'M COMIIIIING!!!" Read them out loud, and they make you feel different - in a way that narrative description can struggle to achieve.
Yes, it's pornographic. But we are writing porn, aren't we? Porn is "the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement". Whether we describe our stories as porn, or erotica, or smut, and whatever our personal stylistic preferences, it's all about fucking. There are different literary styles available to us pornographers, some more appropriate to certain contexts than others. But these different styles lie on the same spectrum. They can work in partnership, rather than opposition.
Quote by VioletVixen
But do I go no bars held full-filth or literary filth?
Surely they are not mutually exclusive?
Quote by IMPURETHOUGHTS
w/ me, it's thrice recommended, now.
Why thank you, Natalya!
As we reel from the news of the passing of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, British and Commonwealth readers may be interested to read my affectionate hommage to our Queen, and to the sceptred isle for which she has stood, in this story:
Snow White and the Seven Dildos
The Queen is known for her wicked sense of humour, and her ability as a mimic. She was also, in her youth, one of the finest young princesses ever. I hope my genuine respect and affection for her comes across in this story - despite its apparent irreverence...
Well, quite to my surprise, another RR has appeared on my story The Cursed Cunt! (Good things come to those who... wait.) In case you are hesitating, it's psycho-horror-meets-crime-procedural-meets-the-apocalypse. Oh, and it's very rude. And very good. And it's full of cunt. Here's what others have said about it:
"a mindfucking meld of the ecclesiastical and the erotic... this is next-level... hot (and disturbing) as fuck." (Jaymal)
"This is your best story! I loved everything from the title to finish! ... This is brilliant!!" (vanessa26)
"This contains everything I love about your stories - raw sex, filthy language, three-dimensional characters, plot twists - and then ramps it up" (naughtyannie)
"Excellently done. Engrossing. Intriguing." (CumGirl)
"This creeped me out to high heaven... I'm frightened, aroused and intrigued. Your writing is fucking fantastic" (CarltonStJames)
Give it a go! here (I hope) is a link:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/horror/the-cursed-cunt-chapter-one
Quote by VioletVixen
myjewishlearning.com
Thanks to everyone who has offered their help on this, both here and privately. In the end, I found the challenge of finding out exactly what Jewish customs were current in different time periods a bit too much for my meagre scholarship. But I hope I made an acceptable compromise. Here's the story:
If you are well-versed in Jewish midrash, that title is your clickbait; but you will be surprised at where it in fact takes you...
Well, the story is up, "rentst" and all! Thanks for all your advice, and here is the finished product:
Moving back and forth between King James English and good ol' porno fuck-talk is a challenge - so if you like that kind of thing, please have a shufti!
I recently experimented writing a whole scene in the past perfect (pluperfect) tense. It is a lengthy flashback embedded and intercut into a futanari time-travel story: the story was written in the past tense; hence the flashback ended up pluperfect. And time travel adds another layer of complication to tense use! I am quite proud of how it turned out - but I sometimes wonder whether it might confuse some readers. Have other writers here struggled with the pluperfect? The story in question is Metamorphoses chapter 4: Slow Curtain. Below, a brief excerpt, in case it tempts any of you to have a closer look:
Daphne slouched back into her seat, but did not waste much time sulking, as her mind was too full of her unexpected encounter with Dr Gaia the previous weekend: "No," Daphne had insisted, "I am not leaving Lucy here to come back with you to the future! You sent me back here, and it was Lucy's foresight that allowed that to happen. We will not be parted!"
Al telaio tesserà lino e duolo pel lenzuolo che la coprirà... -- "To shroud herself shall she weave woe and linen at the loom," sang the chorus of gold miners on stage -- dressed, of course, in Ku Klux Klan outfits which they kept tripping over, much to Henke's annoyance.
"What we didn't realise, Daphne," Gaia had replied, "is that sending you back changed the course of the sexual history of mankind. It's one thing for women to want cocks. But now they're demanding multiple tits, or retractable dicks like the Vrdmlians. And men are wanting two or three cocks -- or both cocks and cunts, or expanded arseholes, so as to take all these huge ten-inch dicks we keep providing their wives with. And because Lucy has now learnt about this technology from you, and can research it at her Institute, all this demand has developed two hundred years earlier than we expected it to!"
Il mio cane dopo tanto mi ravviserà? -- "Will my dog recognise me after so long?" sang the chorus of miners, whilst bending over and miming buggering each other doggy-style through their KKK costumes. Henke smiled contentedly -- though Daphne could not tell whether this was mere directorly satisfaction, or because the mediocre but buxom mezzo-soprano, Bambi by name, whom he had cast as the squaw Wowkle, was now crouched at his feet, headdress feathers waving just above the level of his table as she slid her fulsome spit-lubricated tits up and down around his rather small penis. Daphne scoffed, but returned to brooding over the conversation with Dr Gaia.
"Oh, for goodness' sake, Doctor!" Daphne had responded. "This is ridiculous! You can't expect me to abandon my wife now, and let you take me away just because of your bullshit story about a 'crisis of demography'! You're a doctor, for Christ's sake, and you claim to have all this amazing sexual technology! So use it! Sort the problem! Yourselves!!"
etc.
Thank you, all, for your advice. The story resulting from these inquiries is up now:
It is entitled Akedah - and is my Biblical take on rope bondage...
Here is a link, in case you have a minute:
www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/akedah
Warning: it is very rude.
Grusha
Do any of you remember my story And There Came Two Angels to Sodom, based on the story of Lot's wife and daughters, which got thirty "5"s in the "Myths and Legends" competition but then sank without a trace?
Well, undeterred, I have re-cast that story as the first in a series entitled Scarlet Scripture. And the second episode is up now, entitled Akedah! Those of you versed in Hebrew midrash will think from the title that you know what it is about - but you would, of course, be wrong! Please do have a read, for my highly individual take on rope bondage in the Old Testament. Here is a link:
www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/akedah
Warning: it is very rude.
But very good.
Interesting: this has become a thread about two competitions instead of one.
1. re: flash comp: Never mind the competition, I have written a deeply personal story for this. Deeply. Like, cunt-deeply.
Here it is:
2. re: noir comp: Not sure I have any noir ideas left, I think I used them all up here:
Ah well...
Fuck the competition, this story is deeply personal for me. Deeply. Like, cunt-deeply.
And fuck the rather weird title, just read the story. Here's what some others have said about it:
"an excellent story so full of desire and regret. Truly outstanding" (el_henke)
"brilliantly conceived, beautiful use of language, real sense of emotion and desire... wonderfully and tenderly conveyed" (CumGirl)
"an extraordinary, beautiful, elegant piece" (dolphinman)
If this link doesn't work:
then you can find the story at the top of my stories page, or on the page for the current ("flash") comp.
Thank you!
xx Grusha
My opera-singing futa-fucking luscious lesbian love story Metamorphoses is now complete at four chapters - with three RRs between them. Violet calls it "Grusha-lite" - so maybe even those of you who prefer not too much filth will enjoy it? Here's what some other eminent Lushies have said about it:
"the craft in this is sublime... no one mixes low brow and high brow as well as you do" (CuriousAnnie)
"filth combined with intelligent plotting" (naughtyannie)
"a hot, tasty treat that leaves me wanting more and more" (krystalg)
"As funny and irreverent as ever" (deviantsusie)
"I loved this. The pacing was perfect. The puns were perfect. The sex was phenomenal." (VioletVixen)
"a bravura performance! Your verbal lyricism merits a marquee at the Met" (FirstBlush)
Enjoy!
Grusha
Quote by krystalg
Helpful link?: https://www.shakespeareswords.com/Public/LanguageCompanion/ThemesAndTopics.aspx?TopicId=40
Thank you!
Quote by patokl
"Doth" is indeed "does", that's not second person though, but third.You do, he/she does
Thou dost, he/she doth
Preterit
Thou didst, he/she did
Thank you, all, for your efforts - especially to patokl, who was careful to read the fine print of my original post: "second person singular simple past tense". I asked the same question on the forum of Another Erotica Site Which Shall Remain Nameless, and the nerds there were, typically, more argumentative but more exacting. It seems to be a toss up (that's toss up, not toss off) between "thou rendedst" and "thou rentst" - and no one seems to be able to settle that one for me, so I'll just go with what scans best!
Quote by patokl
I believe "Thou rendest" is the correct form, "Thou dost rend" would work too.
That would be correct for the present tense. But for the simple past it would presumably need to be "thou rendedst" or "thou rentst"?
Quote by CallmeJayne
That would have been 'rent' or 'rended', I would have thought.
Hmmm... "Thou rent" or "thou rended" sounds too straight-forward to me... Given that it would be "thou didst" or "thou wast"... Hence my question.
Can anyone confirm for me what the second person singular simple past tense would have been in the sixteenth century for the verb "to rend". "Rendedst"? "Rentst"?
Help!
Some Lushies may remember my first two chapters in this series: Metamorphoses 1 and 2 (What Daphne Did Next) - which both received "Recommend Reads", and elicited comments like this:
"so imaginative and entertaining" (Saucymh)
"Dude...your prose in this is just...Dude!" (CarltonStJames)
"such a stunning, entrancing, captivating journey... perfect" (VioletVixen)
"leaving me once again with a stupid grin all over my face, now are we?" (el_henke)
"great writing and riotously entertaining" (curvygalore)
This series is now in its home stretch. Chapter 3 is out now and also has an RR, and Chapter 4 will follow shortly, to bring this series to an action-packed fingernail-biting mind-blowing conclusion (with lots of freaky futa fucking along the way).
And you don't have to have read the first two chapters to enjoy the latter two! Really...
Does anyone here have experience of Orthodox Judaism - enough to help me out with some matters of language (Yiddish, Hebrew), customs, clothing, hairstyles, education etc. Feel free to PM me if you prefer.
Many thanks!
Grusha
Quote by Jen
I love the way you phrase that. Characters really do take on a life of their own and can surprise the writer. It's joyousBest of luck with the writing x
Why, thank you, Jen. That's the nicest thing you've said about me... 😊
Thank you, Krystal & WW & Kimmi, for your very thoughtful and varied advice. I think my challenge is that this is not going to be a BDSM story in any fashion, and I am clear that the pleasure the character takes does not derive from being dominated. He just likes being tied up and fucked - and I'm trying to work out why, because he is not in any way submissive. Getting to the bottom of his character is proving a fascinating journey.
Thanks for your recommendations of stories of yours to read - which I will do forthwith!
Hello. Can people please give me some advice to help me as a writer.
First off, a disclaimer: I have never personally been interested in BDSM, and am largely ignorant about it. The idea of domination/submission has never turned me on. And anything remotely painful is, for me, a complete turn-off. So I have never written anything remotely BDSM-based, and tend to avoid stories in that category. Very sorry: please do not take this as a criticism of you or any of the things you enjoy!
However, the germ of a story is forming in my mind. Without going into too much detail, it involves a man who gains pleasure (excitement? catharsis?) from being tied up and fucked. Not dominated, not hurt, not exploited, not imprisoned. Just tied up and fucked by a lovely woman. I suspect that his pleasure comes from two things:
1. The physical sensation of ropes, fetters, chains against his skin.
2. The psychological feeling of helplessness, and of being "bound" to his lover by the trust he places in her and his willingness to make himself vulnerable by her.
Do these feelings resonate with anyone? Can anyone describe to me in greater depth the sorts of feelings/ideas which go through the mind of someone who gains pleasure from either or both of the above points?
Hope that is not too ridiculously specific? Hoping someone can help me on my way to getting to the bottom of this story and this character. Thank you so much! (Feel free to PM me, if that's easier for you.)
Grusha
Disclaimer: I am not a girl. But this story features my imagined "ideal dildo":
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/group-sex/alison-goes-to-london-chapter-16-a-jolly-good-fucker
😕
Gosh, I wish I had read this research paper before starting to write smut:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2702115/
😕😉😊
Thanks, AppleByBoom, for providing those links. So now, in the interest of completeness, herewith a full list (I think) of all Lush stories which have been short-listed this time - arranged according to the official voting categories, to make them easier to find on the Clitorides website:
Short Erotic Story of the Year:
A Dream Cum True (Master Jonathan)
Deceit (Laura)
Etiquette of an affair (Laura)
Flash Erotic Story of the Year:
Ensnared (LeftLingula)
Siren's Call (Jen)
Best Erotic Story by a New Author:
Alison Goes to London (GrushaVashnadze)
The Cursed Cunt (GrushaVashnadze)
Doll Parts (StarBelliedBoy)
The Cursed Cunt (GrushaVashnadze)
The Vampire at No. 35 (Laura)
In the interest of fairness, please let me know if I have missed any Lushies off. Also - it also goes without saying (doesn't it?) that it is not only Lushies who are good at writing smut. So I encourage you all to read widely, and vote honestly!
I concur: Leftlingula's Ensnared is superb story. As is Jen's Siren's Call. As are many stories short-listed on this year's Clitorides Awards by Lush authors - including Laura, StarBelliedBoy, Master Jonathan - and others! Go read them, and vote!
If LL does not mind me piggy-baking on this post, two of my stories, Alison Goes to London and The Cursed Cunt are also short-listed, for Best Erotic Story by a New Author. And the latter story is also up for Best Erotic Horror Story.
The Clitorides are a marvellous collection of superb erotic stories. However you decide to vote, please do dive in, and read! Don't be put off by the fact that you have to register/login: that is easy to do, and serves to prevent voting fraud.
Dear Lushies,
Quite to my surprise, I am now a finalist in the Clitorides Awards. Alison Goes to London and The Cursed Cunt, previously merely nominated for an award, have now been short-listed for "Best Erotic Story by a New Author".
So... If any of you have a moment, please go here:
https://clitoridesawards.org/vote.php?d=s&cat=6
(you may need to login/register with an e-mail address - they do this to prevent voting fraud)
read the stories listed, and just vote according to your honest opinion.
Just to be clear about two things-
1. This competition appears to have a two-stage process. So even if you participated before in the nomination process, that goes for naught unless you participate in the current voting process.
2. I did not nominate myself; nor did I ask anyone to nominate me! But I am happy that someone liked these stories enough to do so!
Best wishes in all that's fair and filthy,
Grusha
