In a Hole in an Arse there lived a Fockit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet Hole, filled with the ends of turds and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy Hole with nothing about it worth eating or slobbering at: it was a Fockit Hole, and that means comfort. Th...
ACT FIVE, SCENE ONE Another three and a half years since the last flashback: it is now 2036, early summer, in a Victorian Grade II listed townhouse in Islington, London. “Friends and Fuckers! Welcome! Lick my pussy, all of you!” Hildegard was dressed in a...
ACT FOUR, SCENE ONE a few days after our last chapter: Friday 21st May 2032, but very early in the morning, after a long night: The Corn Exchange, Cambridge We will, we will FUCK YOU! chanted the crowd. We will, we will FUCK YOU! “What a night, eh?!” Cunt...
ACT THREE, SCENE ONE “Well, you’ve got some fucking gall, turning up now, after all these years!” Riley spat the words out with contempt – but some indecision, which was evident in the way her accent wavered: part of her felt determined to be profoundly c...
ACT TWO, SCENE ONE First a brief orchestral prelude, and we’re back to the RAF again, where it is still Friday 16th July 2060, but later in the afternoon. “Cocks and cunts!” Dr Dick held centre stage again. “It is time for us to proceed to the finale of t...
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was the age of headiness, of ambition, of imagination. It was the epoch of desire, indulgence and Pleasure. So it was in the season when the Enlightenment burst forth upon this Continent. After the p...
“Evenin’, guvnor. Wha’ can I do yer for?” “Bit delicate, mate. Missus’s not too ‘appy: me tool’s too big…” “Never known a lady to complain about that!” “Well, tight squeeze, see. I mean, she wants me to do ‘er… ya know… dirt passage…” “Eh?” “‘Er… tradesme...
“Lovely pair o’ knockers, eh?” “Yeah.” “Love ta cop a feel o’ them buns…” “Yeah…” “… give ‘er a good poke…” “Hehe, yeah.” “I mean, ‘oo wouldn’t want ter shove ‘is tool up ‘er box?” “Yeah, right.” “Makes me knob all big jus’ finkin’ abou’ it.” “Same ‘ere.”...
Went Samson down to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him. And the Spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid. And after a time he returned, and, behold, there was a swarm of bee...
“Back soon, mbak!” I called towards the kitchen. “Jalan-jalan?” – “Going for a walk?” came Sri’s voice, amid the clatter of pans and the scent of terasi and lemon grass. “Is that OK?” I asked. “Of course: Ningsih can help me with supper. Be back by sunset...
CUNT IS A CONCEPT! proclaimed a banner, in gaudy capital letters. A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO COCK! demanded another. FUTA RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS! announced a third. And a fourth posed the existential question: ASSIGNED CUNT AT BIRTH…? “God, look at them,” sneere...
“Ah, Mrs Stubbs! Do come in.” Mrs Stubbs was, in contradistinction to her name, tall, slender and elegant, with pale skin, gently slanting oriental eyes, her black hair formed into a soft bob which, indeed, bobbed winsomely as she entered the consulting r...
In the days of the First People’s Republic, there were two friends. I say friends – but actually, they lived a long way apart. One lived in the great city of Bilbao, by the banks of the Mississippi. A proletarian under the rule of the Republic, he laboure...
The Huntsman kneels by Snow White’s body and weeps. “O God!” he cries. “Why could I not save ’er? O my beloved Snow White!” Tears running unstaunched down his cheeks, he carefully lifts Snow White’s naked sleeping body and carries it down to the stream, w...
Callum the Huntsman sits by his hearth, brooding. Through his cabin window, in the distance, the gilded towers and turrets of the Royal Palace rise gleaming, their flags fluttering in the warm spring breeze. From the stone walls and oak rafters of his cab...
