“Oh, just look at that girl’s ‘air, Jack – innit beau’iful?” “Sam, I’m not looking at her hair…” Fap fap… “But it’s fuckin’ awesome!” “Perhaps – but under the current circumstances you will forgive me for concentrating on a different part of her anatomy.” “Like what?” Sigh. “Like her cunt, of course. You can’t fuck hair!” Fap fap… “Well, yer not fuckin’ anyfink at the moment – ‘part from yer own fuckin’ fist!” “Fair point...

Not always was Gangurru as now we do behold him, but a different kind of Man, with a Teeny Tiny Dick. He was strong and he was handsome, and his pride was inordinate. Yet he mourned the size of his cock, which dangled forlorn and unloved between his thighs. He played with it sadly as he lay on an outcrop in the Middle of Australia, and he went to the Little Goddess Fqa. Fqa was thin and lithe, with pert brown nipples and...

Chapter Fifteen: Till Death Do Us Fart The opening fanfare of the Wedding March from A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream rang out jubilantly across the nave of All Cunts Langham Place, as Harriet appeared at the top of the aisle, escorted by her father. There was a communal gasp of admiration at her shimmering chiffon wedding gown – frontless down to her waist so that her glorious full breasts could stand proud before her, and...

Chapter Fourteen: Boléro Wankminster Central Hall was dark and silent, its occupants waiting with bated breath for the start of the final performance of Smoke-‘n’-Fuck 2050. Fuxmy Gopal and her cameraman had returned to their posts at the rear, and the three judges were seated back at their table in the centre of the auditorium. A single spotlight picked out Harriet’s face, her blond hair swept back so that her broad jaw...

Interlude Report: Harriet Danes Upper Sixth Form Kunt College April 2050 Dear Mr & Mrs Danes, Harriet has been making excellent progress in her academic studies this term. She is to be congratulated on the fact that the Royal Academy of Fucking have not felt the need to call her for a live audition, but have already offered her an unconditional place based upon her ‘A’-Level Fucking Guided Cuntwork. I know that Professor...

Chapter Twelve: And Behold, There Ran Out Piss From Under the Right Side of the Temple The quickest way from North London to Cunting Town is by tube, changing at Bonk for the Dicklands Light Railway. And so that is the way Harriet and Janey took – though by the time they climbed the pee-streaked outside staircase to Michael’s flat and knocked on the peeling green door, the sun had already set, and Harriet had smoked at le...

Chapter Eleven: How Many Times Exactly Did He Eat Your Cunt? “Ah, Miss Danes!” Miss Poussée was clearly busy, as she dashed past in the corridor clutching a large bundle of dildos, apparently late for class. Harriet hardly had a chance to respond before her teacher continued at speed: “Now, I know we are meeting next week, with your fuck-friends. But you mentioned that you were having trouble with some of those new smokin...

Chapter Ten: Cum in Perspective Harriet arrived home lovingly clutching her carton of Marlboro “red” 100s close to her chest. “Oh Hattie,” exclaimed her mother as Harriet walked through the front door, “come and say hello to Mr and Mrs Jones – you remember, from the Highgate BDSM Club?” Mr and Mrs Jones were among the Danes family’s closest friends, and frequently dropped by for a fuck – though that never stopped Geneviev...

Chapter Nine: Smoke-‘n’-Fuck “Ah, Harriet, you got my message, good. Thank you for coming,” Polly Poussée beckoned, as Harriet knocked and edged the teacher’s office door open. She was surprised to find that Miss Poussée was not alone: two other students were seated nervously, somewhat self-consciously, on the edge of the office fuck-couch. “You know Danny and Danielle, don’t you, Harriet?” “Uh… yes?” Harriet’s response m...

Chapter Eight: Stick That Butt in My Butt “Mummy, I’ve brought Mikey home with me!” called Harriet, as she exhaled her final lungful of smoke, flicked her cigarette butt into an empty flowerbed in the front garden, and strode in through her front door. “Oh how lovely, cuntling!” replied Genevieve Danes. She was in the living room, stepping purposefully up and down on her husband’s prone body, naked bar her stilettos, whic...

Interlude Report: Harriet Danes Upper Sixth Form Kunt College December 2049 Dear Mr & Mrs Danes, Harriet has had a very successful autumn term. She has maintained her high marks in English, French and Fucking and, whilst she has found the Further Fucking syllabus quite challenging in some respects (she needs to work hard on deep-throating, and prepping her anal, for example), her devotion to her chosen fetish, and the hou...

Chapter Six: I Will Fuck the Lord at All Times Harriet arrived early at All Cunts Langham Place on Sunday morning, to spend time in private prayer, and to give thanks for recent events. To think it was just a fortnight ago that she had come to church to ask for God’s guidance – and how faithful He had been! How gentle His hand, and yet how glorious His triumph! “Thank you, Lord!” she exclaimed, as she sat, head bowed, in...

Chapter Five: Cum-Faced Smoking Fuckslut “Oh fuck, oh Jesus, oh how embarrassing – Janey! What are you doing here?” “Just on my way home from band practice,” replied Janey, brandishing her clarinet case. “Are you… all right, Hat?” Janey looked down at her friend, glowing cigarette clamped between her lips, dildo poking hands-free from her cunt, fingers glistening with her own fuck-slime. “Oh Jesus, Janey, I’m so fucking h...

Chapter Four: “Smoking Tobacco May Be Beneficial For Your Health” “Oh sweetcunt! Are you going to smoke and jerk off for us?” Genevieve’s face lit up with maternal delight. Her question was not unreasonable, as Harriet had appeared at the breakfast table this Saturday morning, still in her nightie (translucent pink, clit-themed) brandishing her packet of cigarettes, a box of matches, and her favourite pink dildo. “Won’t t...

Chapter Three: Gonna Lose My Smoking Virginity The next twenty-four hours passed very slowly for Harriet. Tutor time on Tuesday morning featured a short film on the history of the New Enlightenment, concentrating on the invention of Flexible Fertility Technology in 2023, Medical Modification in 2025, and Genetic Modification in 2027 – all of which had culminated in the Societal Reconstruction Act of 2031, which allowed pa...