My boyfriend, Bill, and I are dedicated gymgoers. We work out several times a week and prefer doing it late, as the gym is less crowded. At 10:30 one Friday evening, we finished our workout. As usual, hardly anybody else was there at that hour. I told Bill I wanted to spend some time in the ladies’ sauna before we left. He didn’t want to wait. To induce him, I said I’d sneak him into the sauna in the women’s locker room....

You wouldn’t think persuading college kids to have sex would be a challenge. But sometimes things aren’t as simple as they appear. I’ve previously written about my college’s psychology program on human sexuality, which consists not just of book learning, but clinical exercises. It was a transformative experience for me, and the pathway to guilt-free exploration of sexuality. It motivated me to enter the graduate program t...

It had been several weeks since that startling episode where Lucy left Ben strapped naked, arms and legs bound to the four corners of her dorm room bed. She’d gone outside to take a call, and returned to find three girls from the floor in with him. One fondling him, the other two, watching. Ben hadn’t exactly been scarred by the girls taking advantage of his helplessness. Making the best of the situation, he had even talk...

Like most dating couples in college, Ben and his girlfriend Lucy had a common interest. Yes, they were both Mets fans, but I’m talking about sex. More specifically, sex play where one partner controlled the other. As Lucy’s college roommate was away for the weekend, they had her dorm room to themselves. It was Ben’s turn. After he stripped off his clothes and lay naked on her bed, Lucy bound his hands and feet to the bed...

Who plays games? Kids do, for sure. But there also is also a category I’ll call bored adults. These adults play games, too. Adult games. It was Spring break at the University. Most students had gone home. A few of us who hadn’t, three girls, spent an evening listening to music and drinking in the apartment of three male roommates. We didn’t know the guys well, but one of us had just begun dating one of the guys. As the ev...

‘Friends with benefits’ conjures up various possibilities. Former lovers for whom the romance has faded, but the physical attraction remains. Acquaintances drawn together solely by lust. Perhaps two lonely souls, finding solace in the warmth of another’s body while they await the arrival of their soul mate. Or something else. Which brings me to my story, of Sarah and me. I’m your typical sophomore guy in college. Sarah wa...

When I was a young man, health clubs had strict attendance days -- Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the men; Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for the women. (I don’t remember how Sunday was handled; perhaps, like God, it was assumed that we all rested then.) The reason for this separation of the sexes was that the women wouldn’t want to be observed by men as they twisted, stretched and strained in very unlady-like positions...

The saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” means that one should conform to the standards of his or her community. So, for example, if everyone in your world dresses modestly, then you’ll be expected to, and want to, do the same. But what if the community’s norm is the opposite of what you’re used to? What if modesty is not required, should one forsake it? I was part of a group of college students who had to deal wit...

This is a story relayed to me by my Uncle Frank. He says it’s true, but I know him to embellish a story if the facts aren’t up to his story-telling standards. So, who knows? But I like to think it happened. Frank went to college in California, in the late 1960s. He pledged to a fraternity in his freshman year. It was a frat known for its party atmosphere, even more than the normal hedonistic bent of those entities. The br...

Let me start by stating clearly that I’ve never been into bondage. That’s weird stuff for weird people. I’m not like that. So, admittedly, it’s surprising that I would be tied, spread eagle, to the four corners of a bed in front of a stranger. “Do you trust me?” she asks. Trust her? I only met her two hours ago. Of course, I don’t trust her! I’d be an idiot to trust her. “Yes,” I said. “Good,” she replied. “Sometimes I do...

“We are not playing Truth or Dare! Are you joking? I’ve always hated it," said Melissa. She was always the most vociferous of the group, friends in the last year of college. They were spending the weekend at one of their parents’ vacation house. After a lazy day by the pool, they had gathered at night in the family room of the house. “Why not? We’re all sitting around drinking ourselves blind because we’re bored. Jill is...

“It’s your birthday next week. What can I get you?” I always ask, and Derek, my boyfriend, always gives me the same answer. “I’ve got everything I need, baby. You’re all I want.” So, I’d go out and buy him some clothes. But I wasn’t going to accept that answer again this year. “Don’t give me that,” I said. “Everybody has something they’d want if a genie were granting wishes. Talk to me. What can I get for you?” Derek gave...

It’s almost embarrassing to describe how it began, it’s so silly. But it’s the truth, so here it is. We were at a Chinese restaurant. As always, my meal ended with a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and the little slip of paper within read: “Get ready to do something daring.” I shrugged and tossed the paper aside. The ‘fortunes’ are just meant for a chuckle anyway. My husband Brad picked it up, and with his usual wise-as...

It’s pretty unusual, a single guy rooming with three single women. But it didn’t start out to be that way. Initially, there were four women, all former sorority sisters, now graduated, renting a large four-bedroom house in one of the affluent suburbs of Washington, DC. I was dating one of the women, so I hung around their house a lot. When my girlfriend took a job in Chicago, the move ended our relationship and left the o...

It began with a notice in our college newspaper. “Wanted. Students for a psychological experience involving sexual attitudes. Must be open-minded, willing to experiment. Couples only! $500 each, for a five-day study during Spring break.” $500 to a college student is a fortune. I’d do a lot for that. But the requirement for couples was a problem. While Betty and I had been going together for months, she was not the “willin...