‘Friends with benefits’ conjures up various possibilities. Former lovers for whom the romance has faded, but the physical attraction remains. Acquaintances drawn together solely by lust. Perhaps two lonely souls, finding solace in the warmth of another’s body while they await the arrival of their soul mate. Or something else. Which brings me to my story, of Sarah and me. I’m your typical sophomore guy in college. Sarah wa...

When I was a young man, health clubs had strict attendance days -- Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the men; Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for the women. (I don’t remember how Sunday was handled; perhaps, like God, it was assumed that we all rested then.) The reason for this separation of the sexes was that the women wouldn’t want to be observed by men as they twisted, stretched and strained in very unlady-like positions...

The saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” means that one should conform to the standards of his or her community. So, for example, if everyone in your world dresses modestly, then you’ll be expected to, and want to, do the same. But what if the community’s norm is the opposite of what you’re used to? What if modesty is not required, should one forsake it? I was part of a group of college students who had to deal wit...

This is a story relayed to me by my Uncle Frank. He says it’s true, but I know him to embellish a story if the facts aren’t up to his story-telling standards. So, who knows? But I like to think it happened. Frank went to college in California, in the late 1960s. He pledged to a fraternity in his freshman year. It was a frat known for its party atmosphere, even more than the normal hedonistic bent of those entities. The br...

Let me start by stating clearly that I’ve never been into bondage. That’s weird stuff for weird people. I’m not like that. So, admittedly, it’s surprising that I would be tied, spread eagle, to the four corners of a bed in front of a stranger. “Do you trust me?” she asks. Trust her? I only met her two hours ago. Of course, I don’t trust her! I’d be an idiot to trust her. “Yes,” I said. “Good,” she replied. “Sometimes I do...

“We are not playing Truth or Dare! Are you joking? I’ve always hated it," said Melissa. She was always the most vociferous of the group, friends in the last year of college. They were spending the weekend at one of their parents’ vacation house. After a lazy day by the pool, they had gathered at night in the family room of the house. “Why not? We’re all sitting around drinking ourselves blind because we’re bored. Jill is...

“It’s your birthday next week. What can I get you?” I always ask, and Derek, my boyfriend, always gives me the same answer. “I’ve got everything I need, baby. You’re all I want.” So, I’d go out and buy him some clothes. But I wasn’t going to accept that answer again this year. “Don’t give me that,” I said. “Everybody has something they’d want if a genie were granting wishes. Talk to me. What can I get for you?” Derek gave...

It’s almost embarrassing to describe how it began, it’s so silly. But it’s the truth, so here it is. We were at a Chinese restaurant. As always, my meal ended with a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and the little slip of paper within read: “Get ready to do something daring.” I shrugged and tossed the paper aside. The ‘fortunes’ are just meant for a chuckle anyway. My husband Brad picked it up, and with his usual wise-as...

It’s pretty unusual, a single guy rooming with three single women. But it didn’t start out to be that way. Initially, there were four women, all former sorority sisters, now graduated, renting a large four-bedroom house in one of the affluent suburbs of Washington, DC. I was dating one of the women, so I hung around their house a lot. When my girlfriend took a job in Chicago, the move ended our relationship and left the o...

It began with a notice in our college newspaper. “Wanted. Students for a psychological experience involving sexual attitudes. Must be open-minded, willing to experiment. Couples only! $500 each, for a five-day study during Spring break.” $500 to a college student is a fortune. I’d do a lot for that. But the requirement for couples was a problem. While Betty and I had been going together for months, she was not the “willin...

It sounds disreputable, allowing financial distress to justify the receipt of sexual favors. And nowadays, it’s a guarantee to get your name into the newspapers. But, really, hasn’t the female used her allure as a means of getting what she wants, since time began? And if everyone is an adult, exercising free will, is it so bad? My story begins when I (I’m Eric) shared the second bedroom of my rented townhouse with a colle...

It sounds disreputable, allowing financial distress to justify the receipt of sexual favors. And nowadays, it’s a guarantee to get your name into the newspapers. But, really, hasn’t the female used her allure as a means of getting what she wants, since time began? And if everyone is an adult, exercising free will, is it so bad? My story begins when I (I’m Eric) shared the second bedroom of my rented townhouse with a colle...

It was an accident the first time Chris saw me naked. I had stayed over at my boyfriend Bobby’s apartment Friday night, as I often do. Bobby had to work early Saturday so he left me asleep in the bed. His roommate, Chris, was on a camping trip with friends, so I was alone in the apartment. I took a shower, wrapped my hair in a towel and walked down the hall toward the bedroom without any clothes on (I was alone, right?) T...

I’ve previously written about my college’s psychology department, and its creative, interactive approach to teaching. Nowhere was it more creative – or interactive-- than in the Human Sexuality program. What I haven’t mentioned before, until now, was the clinic. We first learned of it when our professor addressed the Human Sexuality 101 class. “You’ve all done very well in confronting your own sexuality, and becoming comf...

The whole roommate situation is what one does when you’re young and don’t know any better, or poor and don’t have much choice. One sacrifices privacy, quiet and independence when everything you do in your own place has to be measured by how it impacts on someone else. I mean, who wants to put up with such impositions on your life? Not me. Unless of course that roommate is a certain girl named Carissa. I still get weak whe...