I get home and walk into my living room, dropping my bag, keys and phone on the couch. I can’t believe what I just fucking saw. I know I’m not official...with either one of them, but part of me feels betrayed. I wouldn’t have given a shit if Eugene told me he wanted to see Taniyah, but he deliberately tried to keep it from me since the moment they were sitting on my own fucking couch. She could have said something, too. Perhaps I’m overreacting, but damn, they could have at least told me out of respect. I’m friends with both of them. I’m hurt that they felt the need to conceal their interest in each other from me. I thought things were going well with Eugene and I.

Maybe the way we started should have been the first hint at a bad sign. We fucked before we even went on a date. Right after our first date, we basically had group sex with two of our other friends. But through all of that, I was still trying to do the right thing. I kept my eyes on him. I wanted to prove to myself I could be a logical thinking person again. Even with my non-stop thoughts of Ethan all week, I thought I was doing well, and here we are.

I take a deep breath and sit in my chair. It’s clear Eugene and Taniyah have a strong connection. They shouldn’t be punished for that. After thinking it over, I know I still want to be a strong person. The better person. I could forgive them for the sort-of betrayal. After all, none of us were exclusive. I would forgive them, and give them my blessing. I’m certainly not going to go run off and tell them this right away. I decide when I see them again, I will make it clear there are no hard feelings. I feel satisfied with my desire to keep things mature, and suddenly...I also feel very sad.

An odd pitch of loneliness strikes inside my body, turning my stomach to mush, and I slouch into the chair. A second later, a low tap on my door makes me nearly jump out of my skin. My heart starts pounding as I stand up, while I pray to God it’s not Eugene or Taniyah. Or worse; both. I may be ok with the situation, but I’d really rather not confront it now. I walk slowly to my front door and look through the peep hole. I see someones dark head of hair as they look at the ground a few feet back and I knit my eyebrows together in confusion.

I open the door and Ethan’s head snaps up. “Ethan,” I say his name in recognition. My already pounding heart starts another hammering rhythm at the sight of him. Gloriously beautiful as ever, yet worried why he’s here. In the short second before he answers, his expression surprises me.

“Chanel,” he replies. His face is torn into a mask of frustration, and guilt...and reluctance? “I’m sorry to bother you so late,” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“It’s fine. Is everything ok?” I ask concerned. He opens his mouth slightly and tries to find words.

“Not exactly,” he finally replies, and now I’m getting worried. Before I can ask another question, he speaks again. “Chanel, I need to apologize to you. For... everything . I thought we could be friends. Everything seemed ok when I helped you move, and it felt like the animosity between us was gone, for which I’m grateful, but…” He stops again as I watch him, curious and surprised. He takes his right hand out of his pocket and scratches his forehead in what appears to be a nervous gesture. He seems...embarrassed.

“I miss you,” he blurts out, dropping his hand, and I notice a faint blush behind his cheeks. “I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about what I put you through. At first I didn’t think much of it, you know, what we were doing. And then Nicole caught us and...I realized it was all my fault. All of it. The cheating and fighting and, just, drama." I open my mouth to object, but he keeps going.

“And then what happened after she left, I can’t stop feeling….nauseous every time it crosses my mind. I acted so horribly, and I have no idea why. You mean much more to me than the way I treated you. Maybe it was the stress of everything..I don’t know. What I’m getting at though, is...I can’t stop thinking about you Chanel. I feel terrible for the way things went. I just...need you to know that.” He sighs after his jumbled rant is over, and I’m frozen. I can feel the shock on my face. I realize he’s waiting for me to say something, but I was not prepared for him to show up, let alone the words he’s speaking.

From the center point inside my body, I feel like strings are being tugged, pulled in his direction. Drawing me to him. His words course through my body, melting my rigid form and I reach for him. Because I missed him, too. As soon as he sees me move, he wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me fiercely.

My feet are inches above the ground, my arms wrapped around his neck as he sways my body side to side as if to intensify his embrace. I let out a strangled gasp, or sob, I’m not entirely sure. Being in his arms after these hellacious couple of weeks makes me want to sing, or cry, or both. I’m not too sure at the moment. I just know I’m glad he’s here.

“Ethan,” I whisper his name, and his arms get impossibly tighter around me.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers into my hair, slightly shaking his head.

"Me too,” I reply. “You have no idea how bad I’ve felt-”

“Sshhh,” he hushes me. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says, and I almost do cry. He has no idea how shitty I felt after that all went down. He was growing on me, and I felt like I ruined everything. That situation was just fucked up all around, and all I want him to do is hug me until it all goes away.

After we stand outside my open door for what feels like forever, I whisper, “let's go inside.” He makes no move to let me down and walks through the threshold. He kicks the door shut, and keeps his hold on me, not moving an inch. God, I have missed him. The feel of his large body beneath my hands. His warmth like a blanket, and he smells so good. I run my fingers through his hair and he buries his face in my neck.

When he pulls his head back, I lean as well to look in his eyes. Deep green and warm, just as I remembered. We look at each other, my hands holding his head, and it feels like something is blooming. The atmosphere, the feeling inside myself, growing with a thick, sensitive emotion. When my eyes flash to his lips and back to his eyes, his expression almost looks pained.

“Oh Chanel,” he whispers, and kisses me, and I let him. He’s gentle, more gentle than he’s ever been with me. His warm, soft lips graze against my own in the sweetest way. I hold his face close to mine and reciprocate, my top lip between his, then my bottom. Ethan opens his mouth and closes it along my own action. Pressing and pulling, he puts more feeling into this one kiss than any other encounter we’ve ever had. When I push away from him, he sets me on my feet and goes to pull his face away. But I keep my hold on him. My fingers in his hair, I continue kissing him and he doesn’t object.

When I start walking backwards, he realizes this and moves with me. I blindly guide us to my bedroom and release him, only to start unzipping my jacket. He does the same, our lips staying fused together. Ethan puts his large hands on my hips, his index fingers and thumbs touching the skin above my jeans, under my shirt. I hold his shoulders and our lips linger against each other. I can’t believe he’s really here. Part of me felt like this would be lost forever. I wanted to give him and myself space to figure out what the fuck we wanted. What was right. And in not so many words, he’s telling me what he’s chosen; me.

With measured movements, Ethan guides me backward until I feel my bed behind my knees. His hands make their way farther up my shirt until he’s grabbing my impossibly small waist in his iron grip. He lifts me and lays me on the mattress, coming down with me. His body is pressed against every line of my own, my legs bent, thighs resting along his sides. We break our lip lock, our faces still an inch from each other, and nothing needs to be said. The way he’s looking at me sends something stronger than butterflies racketing around my stomach.

He gives me a wet, chaste kiss and goes lower, placing his lips at the base of my jaw. When his shirt makes it half way up his back, I know I don’t want to stop. I pull it the rest of the way and he slips his head through and I toss the fabric. He looks down at me and gives me a heartbreakingly beautiful smile. The first time I’ve seen him smile tonight. I beam up at him and he rolls us over, me now straddling his lap, and he sits up to meet my face. Ethan lazily tugs the hem of my shirt up my torso, his fingertips teasing my sensitive skin as he goes. He manages to slip the cotton over my head and I wrap my arms around his neck.

As I’m sitting in his lap, his thick arms wrapped around me, I look him in the eye and something compels me to speak. “I missed you, too,” I whisper, and his answering smile is dazzling.

“I hope so,” he mumbles against my jaw and falls back onto the bed. We twist and turn like perfect choreography, and one by one, our clothes find their way to the floor, neither of us in a hurry. Every time an article of my own is removed, his lips are at my skin, greeting it with sweet kisses. As if he missed every square inch of my body. His warm breath, his solid muscles and tender touch make me deranged with need. I tried to tell myself over the last two weeks I could live without this. But my memory was flawed, unjustifying how incredible he truly is. Every time I’m with him, I feel like a puzzle piece, and he’s the other half.

When he’s lying above me, my head on a pillow, the comforter draped over our naked bodies, I feel sick with anticipation. He’s taking his time and I love and hate it simultaneously. Feeling him kneeling low between my legs, knowing how close he is literally makes my sweet spot tingle. Ethan runs his hands along my body, everywhere, feeling every curve of my skin. When his fingertips pull themselves away from my thighs, finally leaving my body, I bite my lip to keep from voicing my longing. It was a wasted effort.

The moment I feel the tip of his rock hard cock touch my opening, I blare a moan of utter pleasure. He hasn’t even entered me yet. His heavy breathing is thick against my neck, and with my hands on his lower back, I feel him push his hips forward. And I can feel everything . The head forces my ungiving muscles apart, and just the cap of his thickness feels bigger than Eugene ever did. What the fuck was I thinking when I let this go? Though I’m slick with moisture, is takes him a couple minutes before he’s in. He pulls back and with gentle force, buries himself completely inside me. Ok, now he’s all the way in. I feel so full, I don’t dare move yet. Ethan’s panting in my ear and I kiss the part of his cheek I can reach.

He brings his face to mine and plants a kiss against my full bottom lip. He doesn’t move yet either, just sits still inside me as my insides adjust. I feel him take a deep breath, and he finally pulls himself back, and we both groan against each other’s mouths. Every nerve inside my sweet channel is alive and screaming at the feel of him. He forces his way back in and his head bumps into my furthest wall and I gasp.

“I’m not hurting you am I?” he breaths in concern, and my heart sputters at his tone.

“Not in a bad way,” I reply with a smile. He starts an excruciatingly slow rhythm, and when I can finally move my hips without feeling like he’ll split me in two, I join his movements. Neither of us go faster than the pace he’s set though, taking our time with each other.

Ethan pulls himself up and sits back on his feet, his thick thighs spread to accommodate me, still buried deep inside me. His massive hands grab each one of my ankles and he holds my legs far apart. I watch him watching the intimate part where our bodies are joined, kneading and massaging my own breasts. He’s incredible. Running along Ethan’s jaw is my favorite short, soft, well groomed stubble. His thick, dark hair is a perfect mess, his green eyes mesmerised. He pushes slowly yet furiously deep into me and I arch my back to make room for him.

Without trouble or hesitancy, his right hand slides under my lower back, his fingers splayed, and he pulls me up. When I’m right side up, my thighs resting on his, I pull my face forward and he kisses me. His generous hands hold me against him, and I moan into his mouth.

“Ethan,” I whisper against him, and he wraps his arms completely around me, forcing me lower onto him. Air hisses through my teeth as I inhale deeply, bracing myself. When he lifts me and releases the intense, fantastic pressure, I drop my head back. Ethan’s capable hands keep me against him, and he leans forward to kiss my neck. Slowly and carefully, up and down, we keep at our unhurried pace. I grab his face in my dainty hands and kiss him with as much passion as I’m capable of, and he reciprocates. I’ve never felt so close to anyone, so intimate and complete, and it’s sending shock waves straight to my groin.

“Unnngg,” Ethan groans, and it makes my penetrated stomach flip. I need to control myself or this will be over sooner than I want it to be. I press on his shoulders until he lays back on the bed, and then an idea strikes. I push his hands away from my hips and he holds them up, palms toward me. I give him an intense look and bite my lip. Then I start turning. With his dick still firmly inside me, I swing my leg over his and he moans. I carefully keep turning until I’m straddling him backwards, my perfect backside facing him.

Ethan groans again and greedily takes hold of my hips and starts moving me. Forward and backward, I hump his lap, his huge monster touching every inch inside me. My cunt feels like a vacuum around him, not letting him escape. Even though this angle feels like he may puncture my cervix, I ride him thoroughly, moaning and gasping at every movement. For the first time, his pace starts picking up with the slightest frequency. I gently bounce up and down on him, then I feel him sit up behind me. My back is pressed to his chest as he holds me against him, his lips everywhere on my shoulders and neck, every bit of my skin he can get to.

I don’t know how much longer I can hold off on my impending orgasm. I’ve kept it in control so far, but the agonizingly strong connection I have with him in this moment has been building. The sensitive tingling is not only in the deepest part of my pussy, but has spread up my to stomach, my chest, through my legs and limbs, and I want to scream.

“Ethan,” I moan his name, thick with implication.

“I know,” he pants against my skin and lifts me off of him. He turns me to lay me on my back, and I spread my legs wide, welcoming him. He scoots as close as possible, backs up and lines himself up again, then pushes into me and we both groan. He lays completely on me, his elbows on the sides of my body, keeping most of his weight off me. I wrap my arms and legs around him and we fuck each other into oblivion. His lips on mine, we kiss and stop, again and again, but never break the contact. Surprisingly, for the first time tonight, his tongue meets with mine and it’s my undoing. I feel him everywhere, inside me, against me, and now filling my mouth. It’s enough, more than enough.

I gasp and purr into his mouth as I feel myself tipping. “Cum with me,” I beg, and when he forces his tongue into my mouth again, I let go. I claw his back, careful not to break skin this time, panting heavily into his mouth as the flood gates open and my body vibrates with it’s release. I hold myself tightly to him, humping him as hard as I can. Him pinning me to the mattress doesn’t give me much room, and the feeling of containment makes me scream.

“Fuck! Ethaaaaan,” I cry, and while my cunt squeezes his cock over and over, I feel him expand impossibly bigger, then he stills, and finally joins me.

“Uhhhh,” his guttural groan in my neck makes me shiver and I feel spurt after spurt of hot, thick cum filling me. So much cum. Our shared climax goes on and on and I feel like I could cry. The intense moment has me exhausted beyond belief.

I choke out a strangled moan as my legs pin him between them, and then the real shivers begin. My body starts shaking uncontrollably, and his hips twitch, and I shiver again. When he moves, I hiss air through my teeth and grip one hand on his shoulder, one hand full of his hair in my attempt to get him to stop. I can’t handle it, it’s too much. I shiver one last chill of relief when he sighs heavily and finally relaxes his whole body. I can hardly breath, but I love the feeling of being in his arms. Safe, strong and capable is my Ethan, and I smile against his shoulder, both of us gasping for air. My Ethan.