It's creeping up on 12 a.m., but we're too into our game to go to sleep yet. My roommate Ethan and I both work in the morning, but our nightly ritual of XBox 360 and bud was hard to break. We only smoke at night. After a day's work, there's nothing like winding down with a bowl and some Call Of Duty. He was ahead by one kill, I was catching up quick with limited time. "God damn it!"

"I told you not to go with that gun," he says with conviction. I mock his comment with a sour face. Smug bastard.

"We are on the same team you know," I say, watching the screen as I kill another guy.

"I know. I still have to be better than you though."

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be this good." We laugh at the irony and I kill another enemy. "Boom! How do you like that?" He tosses his controller on the coffee table and sighs.

"Won by one, the first time in..when?"

"Hey, no sore losers in the basement," I reply with a smile. I pick up the pipe and light what's left of the green. Holding in my hit I pass it to him. "What time you work tomorrow?" I ask him as he hits the piece.

He exhales and replies, "Ten." I nod and relax into the leather couch. I always go in at 8:30. I prefer to work mornings and have the afternoons to myself. I go out a lot with my friend Aaliyah now that we're both single. Ethan has random shifts all the time. He’s a technician manager at a factory. Noticing the silence, I look to my right and find Ethan staring at me. I look at him for a moment and raise my eyebrows. He smiles a half smile and looks away.

Shrugging off the awkward feeling, I sit forward. "I have cotton mouth, you want a water?" I ask looking back at him.

"Yeah thanks," he nods and takes another hit. I make my way to the stairs to head up to the kitchen. Before I can take the first step up, I'm pushed against the wall on my left. Ethan's hands are around my wrists and pinned to my sides. I gasp loudly with my cheek against the wall when he puts his lips to my neck. He bites so softly and grinds his pelvis into my ass. Mouth hanging open, words caught in my throat, I can't find muscles to move. He takes another bite into my shoulder and I sigh a moan of confusion. Before I can respond further, Ethan releases me and I'm forced to use my legs before I fall to the floor. I look back at him, slouched and panting slightly a couple yards away from me. "I'm... so sorry," he whispers shaking his head.

"What the fuck was that?" I ask bewildered. He doesn't respond, just stares at the floor. Beyond stunned, I turn around and head to my room. What the hell was that? I lock my door behind me and cross the room to my bed. Ethan and I have been friends for almost five years, and nothing like this has ever happened between us. All the late night smoking, playing video games and living together on and off for the last few years, I've never had feelings for him. He's certainly never expressed anything to me.

Why now? What changed? I have love for him, fuck, he's one of the best friends I have. He's helped me out more than I deserve. And now all I can think about are his hands locked around my wrists. His tall height pushing me against the wall... his breath on my neck. Holy shit, what is happening?

***

It's been a few days since I've seen Ethan for more than a few minutes. When Friday rolls around, I meet up with Aaliyah to escape my house again. We pull into the parking lot beside a lounge and climb out onto our heels. Tall dark and beautiful is my Aaliyah. Part Indian, she's got the complexion of caramel and curves for days. I think she's far more beautiful than myself, but she always disagrees. My long dark hair touches my lower back and I'm thinner than her. I think my green eyes are too big, but I really can’t complain. I’m in good shape, the perks of no relationship; taking care of myself. We find our group easily and take seats on the low rounded couches.

An hour later it's Aaliyah, Chandler, Stephanie and her husband Louis, Daniel, Taniyah and me drinking cocktails and sharing stories of the work week. I about died of laughter when Taniyah admitted her pants ripped in the crotch before a meeting with a client, and the safety pin she rigged wanted to slice her fun parts.

"I've never been preoccupied with the safety of my vagina so publicly before," she says and receives a ripple of laughter

"Is that who I think it is?" Aaliyah leans to me, whispering. My eyes follow her gaze and I stop. Kyle was a guy I used to date, whom I hadn't talked to in roughly two years and hadn't seen in three. Things hadn't necessarily ended badly between us. He moved away for a job in New Mexico, so we broke it off. Only after he left, he never replied to my messages and completely ignored me. I was hurt, but later he confessed he'd gotten into some shit and was ashamed to admit it. I'm no stranger to making mistakes. Still, seeing him standing there staring at me makes me sort of smile.

"I'll be right back," I say to Aaliyah and get to my feet. He sees me move and walks toward me.

"Chanel." My name rolls off his tongue and I smile.

"Kyle. What are you doing here?" We automatically hug.

"Came to visit my mom and some friends. I didn't know you still lived here." He gives me a once over as I speak.

"Yeah, still here. Working for an art gallery, going on two years now."

"No shit, good for you. You look amazing. Your hair is so long."

"Thank you. You look well yourself. Doing better then?" He knew what I was referring to. The shit he got into unfortunately happened to be cocaine..a lot of cocaine. But he genuinely looks good. He immediately nods his head.

"Very much. I feel great, been working out, went back to school." I was surprised to hear the news and asked him how things were going. We chatted a while about recent events in our lives and he invited me to his table. I motioned to the people I came with and refused, I didn't want to be rude. But damn, he was looking good. He told me he wanted to sit with me and went to talk to his friends, who were all smiling at me. I think I recognized one of them.

"If you're only here for a little while, you should stay with your friends," I say when he returns. He still spins me and we walk to my table.

"Don't worry about it. Jake and I have shit planned all week, he'll live. Besides, you're my friend, too. I'd like to spend some time with you." His words sound like they have a double meaning as he stares at me intently. I fight a smile and introduced him to my friends he hasn't met. Kyle knows Daniel and Aaliyah already, fitting easily into conversation.

Kyle's sitting close to my side, our thighs touching, and a while later, his hand finds my knee as he casually continues talking with Daniel. I look over, eyeing him, his light brown hair, carefree smile, broad shoulders and suddenly my insides are hot. Within the same moment, Ethan slips into my mind and I freeze. Fuck. Fuck that. I'd like to say it was easy for me to forget earlier this week, but Ethan's hot hands left lasting impressions on my wrists. I found myself constantly, absentmindedly, wrapping my fingers around them, and I'd sigh every time. I focus on Kyle again and decide what I'm going to do tonight; get my mind off of Ethan.

I lean forward to whisper in his ear, "Let’s go to my house." He looks right in my eyes and sees the invitation.

"Let's do it," he says, smiling.

"Hey, we're gonna go," I lean over and tell Aaliyah.

"Have fun," she winks at me and I roll my eyes. All of her 'you need to get some' talks coming back to me.

"You don't need a ride, do you?" I ask her as Kyle and I stand.

"No, Dylan just messaged me. I think he wants to hang out tonight," she says, smiling with obvious delight. I grin back. I like Dylan, her new squeeze.

Kyle and I say our goodbyes and walk outside. It feels good not leaving alone, being with an old friend.

"I drove here, should I follow you?" He asks pulling out a pack of smokes to offer me one.

I refuse the tobacco. "I still don't smoke, but thanks. And yeah, I don't live too far." I start walking toward my car, and he's not parked more than a few spaces away. I look over my shoulder at him, knowing he's watching my ass in this tight dress. He smiles and lights a cig, walking to his car. We play cat and mouse through the streets to my place. It's midnight and there's hardly anyone on the road.

When we pull up to my house I don't see any lights on. Good. I unlock the door quietly and we step into the house. I'm pulling his hand as we head for the stairs down to my room, and as I round the corner, I see the light from the basement TV. I hold back a sigh and briefly shut my eyes. I was hoping to avoid him tonight. Half way down the stairs I smell the tree.

"Is that bud?" Kyle whispers behind me. Ethan looks up from the chair and pauses his video game.

"Hey, Chanel," Ethan says, casual as ever, though this already feels awkward.

"What's up?" I ask, crossing the room, Kyle's hand still in mine. "This is Kyle. Kyle, this is Ethan, my roommate." They shake hands and share pleasant greetings.

"You guys wanna smoke?" Ah Ethan, always so generous. I'm trying to get laid... but I could use a puff. My own stash has been sitting for a couple days.

I look to Kyle for his input. "I'm down." He shrugs looking back and forth at both of us.

"Let's do it," I agree, though I can't tell if he's being polite, or genuinely wants to smoke. Perhaps since he knows he's going to get laid, getting high first can't hurt. We make a loop to the couch and I'm sitting between both of them; Kyle on my left, Ethan in the chair to my right. Ethan hands the glass to me and I rip it hard.

"I didn't know you smoked," Kyle comments as I pass it to him.

"Every now and then. Mostly with Ethan," I admit.

"I know, I'm a bad influence," Ethan says facetiously. We sit and smoke, talking about the game on screen, and where we had just been. I take my jacket off, still wearing my small strapless black dress and tall stilettos. We need a fucking fridge down here.

"I'm thirsty. Anyone want anything?" I ask, looking to both of them. "Water, milk, juice... Crown Royal?" I offer to Kyle.

He smiles. "Let's take a shot."

"You joining?" I ask Ethan. I don't want to be rude, but maybe I should have just ignored him. All of us stoned and tipsy, my imagination is gaining racy momentum.

"Let's do it. I don't work tomorrow," Ethan replies, and we all head up the stairs to the kitchen. Kyle's telling Ethan how he hasn't smoked in a few months while I grab the Crown from the freezer. I'm already lit, and I'm sure they are, too. Maybe it's making me paranoid, but as I grab shot glasses from the cupboard I can feel both their eyes on my ass.

We have a couple shots, and I put my glass away. It doesn't take much for me, as I'm not too heavy a drinker, so I am buzzing rather well and making jokes of my own. I like to think I'm funny when I'm drunk. Maybe I'm too drunk to tell if I'm funny. Who the hell cares, they are laughing with me.

"I'm gonna take another hit," I finally declare after my fourth shot and turn to the stairs. Kyle follows me to the couch and right when he sits, I kiss him. My tongue is in his mouth when I hear Ethan take his seat back in the chair. I pull away, blushing, and Kyle laughs at me.

"Holy shit, there you are," I say to Ethan and he laughs too.

"You're funny when you’re drunk," he says, grabbing the pipe.

“I’m not drunk, you’re drunk. Heyyy, we should smoke out of the bong." I'm smiling at Ethan with squinted eyes, much too happy about my buzz to be disturbed about trivial things like his large warm hands and his nice white teeth... and... oh hey, Kyle's sitting here. Ethan laughs at my expression and stands to get the bong. I lean into Kyle and take his hand.

"You're gonna love this bong. We call it Beast." Kyle puts his mouth to my ear and flicks my earlobe with his tongue.

"I'm also gonna love fucking you tonight," he whispers and I smile.

My mouth finds his again and I'm getting more heated by the second. By the time Ethan makes his return, I'm pressing my thighs together to stop the fire between my legs. I sit up a little straighter and cross my legs to help with friction. I think my movements were giving me away, but I didn't care. I was cross faded to the point of no return.

Ethan loads the bowl and hands Beast to me.

"Ladies first."

I wrap my fingers around the shaft of the bong and Ethan's eyes linger on my hand a little too long. I'm surprised I notice as buzzed as I am. But I ignore it and lean forward so I can hold the tall water pipe and light it. Green turns bright red, smoke fills the chamber, I close my eyes and pull out the stem, filling my lungs with sweet sativa. I never cough though...with effort. I pass it to Kyle and start unfastening my stilettos from my ankles. Kyle's hitting the bong and when my shoes are off I look to Ethan just as he's looking away from me. My eyes stay on his face for a moment, wondering what the fuck his deal is and what he's thinking.

I hope he gives up whatever notions he has left of something happening between us. If he still has any. I assumed what he did would be a one time thing. That he realized his mistake and let that shit go. But I can't help but feel... like it's not over for him. Even though this is the most we've talked since the night it happened. Maybe it's just the alcohol. I hope so. This is what I was trying to avoid all week. God, look at me, obsessing like a school girl. I wish his actions hadn't made me feel so mixed up. Ultimately, I think I like what happened. And when I start to think that I just get angry. I need to fuck something... that isn't Ethan.

So I wait patiently until we've all had a few hits and play a little video games. I pass the controller to Ethan and lean my head on Kyle's shoulder. He looks down at me as I stare at him from under my lashes. Kyle gives me a small kiss and I return pressure. Starting out slowly, I gently lick his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue. As my mouth is on his, I hope I'm making Ethan uncomfortable. I reach for his hand on my leg, and I can tell he has reservations about our company. I'm tired of this.

"I think I'm ready for bed," I announce aloud, not looking at anything but Kyle. "Thanks for the smoke," I say to Ethan as I stand up.

"No problem," he says without looking back.

"See ya man, thanks," Kyle says to Ethan, who replies, "Yup," and starts another game before we reach my room.

I think by now Kyle's caught onto my mood and moves more urgently than before. When the door's locked behind us, he pulls me tightly to him and slips his tongue into my mouth. I kiss him back and help him take off his shirt. He pushes up the bottom of my dress to my waist. Without hesitation, he lifts me up with his hands on my ass and I wrap my legs around him. He’s kissing my collarbone and I start panting, holding his face to my chest. He kneads handfuls of my ass and licks up my neck.

"Fuck, Chanel," he says against my skin, and I moan when he says my name. He kisses me again and I don't know he's moved until suddenly I'm horizontal on my bed.

Leaning above me, Kyle's hands are all over and I gently scratch his shoulders. "This dress looks so good on you," he mumbles, kissing down my cleavage to my stomach over the fabric. "I couldn't keep my eyes off your ass." I smile and tangle my fingers in his hair.

"I'm glad you like it," I say innocently, and he's found his way between my thighs, kissing from my knee and up, farther... oh fuck.. he's breathing on my lace. I squirm under him. Drunk and high as I am, and perhaps paired with the fact that I haven't fucked in forever, my skin is tingling everywhere.

Kyle presses his lips firmly against my pussy, above my panties, and I moan. Loud. Like, louder than I'd intended. Holy shit, my grip tightens on his hair as he licks and kisses.

"Oh God, Kyle." I look down at him as his finger hooks my thong, and he pulls it aside. He's staring right at me as his tongue finally touches my flesh. My back arches like a bow and I'm on fire. His tongue is lapping at the apex of my thighs and I can't hold still. Eventually he has to place his forearm across my pelvis to hold me in place.

Oh my fucking God, I haven't felt this good in... too long. Much too long. I'm trying to keep quiet. I mean, I wanted to make Ethan jealous, but he doesn't need to know every little detail. I'm sucking on my lower lip to retain myself. I need Kyle. Now. He's having too much fun down there, and I need to be fucked.

"Kyle, that feels so good." He hums in appreciation to the compliment, still licking me. "Please fuck me, I need you," I say looking down at him, begging with my eyes. His own expression is looking less and less controlled, coated with lust. I know he's thinking about slipping himself inside me, so I coax him further. "I know you want me, take me," I say as I gently start to fuck his face.

My hip movements finally let him release me and he's kissing me immediately. I taste myself on his mouth and it turns me on more. He pulls me forward and unzips my dress, sliding it over my head. He wastes no time unlatching my strapless bra and reaches for my thong. In moments I'm naked, and he looks me over. Shaking his head he watches me lie back onto my elbows, thighs completely open.

"You're unbelievably sexy," he says and kisses me again. I smile against his lips at his approval and reach for his belt. My fingers are delicate, but in no time I've gotten him completely unfastened.

He moves fast inside me before I can beg again. I gasp as he fills me in one swift movement. My fingertips pressing into his arms, he lets out a low moan and stays for a moment. The pressure is almost painful as my tight muscles finally adjust around him, letting him fit.

"I'm sorry," he pants. "Are you all right?" I nod in reply and we both smile. "I just couldn't wait to be inside you," he says, then kisses my neck. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around him as he starts to move slowly inside me. Excruciatingly slow. I moan as it starts feeling better and better.

Soon I'm begging him to go harder. He leans back onto his knees and lifts my hips to meet him. My back is arched off the bed and he's fucking me relentlessly. I scream as I fist the blanket at my sides.

"Ohh fuck! Please don't stop," I moan. I love the way he holds my waist as he pumps into me. His skin is getting heated, watching my face as he fucks me, his hot hands on my skin. They remind me of... oh fuck. My stomach drops like I'm on a corkscrew rollercoaster when I suddenly imagine Ethan fucking me. That's the lowest thing I could do in this moment. This needs to stop. I need this, Kyle, right now, and he feels so fucking good inside me. I need to cum.

I press my hand against his stomach and he slows. Lifting myself, I push Kyle back onto the bed and climb on top. He makes no argument, so I sit on his lap, taking his dick again. My hands are on his chest and his hands are on my hips, guiding me. My long hair falls to my waist, my tits bouncing as he starts fucking me again. I moan loudly and my head falls back.

My hips match his movements, aching for more friction, if that's possible. His fingertips are digging deeper into my hips, I can tell he's close, his body tense, ready to spring and it only makes me hotter.

"You like riding me, Chanel?" he grunts through his teeth, and I feel a wave shiver through my body.

"Yes, you feel so good... fuck!" And I moan as I climb higher and higher. "Kyle, you're gonna make me cum," I tell him, grinding my hips harder and harder.

"Cum, baby," he says, waiting for me to get off.

"Unnhhh." Fuck, I can feel it building... I'm almost there, almost. "There, almost there..." He's fucking me faster than ever, pounding inside me. When his hand quickly reaches my front and touches my clit, I explode.

"Fuck! I'm cumming! Anngghhhh..." Finally falling over the edge, I'm moaning with pleasure. He fills me with his own release, and I continue riding him until the last of the tremors rock my body.

Slowing down until all my energy has dissipated, I lay on his chest. We're both panting trying to catch our breath as he wraps his arms around me. "Holy shit." He says between breaths.

I laugh and close my eyes. "Right." We lay there for a while, both too tired to move, and I feel myself getting sleepy. That was pretty fucking good. I don't remember Kyle ever fucking me like that, not that I'm complaining now.

"I have to leave early, I'm having breakfast with my mom," he says, breaking my reverie. I nod in reply but stay where I am. As time goes by I feel our hearts start to slow, our breathing even out. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm wondering if Ethan's still in the downstairs living room. I have no idea how long it's been though. And that was the last thought I had before drifting off to sleep.