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Humour Stories

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Luna Meets A Bounty Hunter

Stereotypical unpleasant encounters aren't always unpleasant in real life

The harsh chords of Motorhead’s Ace of Spades pierced the air as the lone occupant of the house sang along. A hard knocking somehow made it through Lemmy’s gravelly vocals and brought a halt to the single woman concert that had taken over the living room....

Living Next Door To Hephaestus

Ever wondered what became of Hephaestus?

I’m Margot, and I’m a Sarxite. You don’t know what a Sarxite is? Well, the short version is that we’re the beings that have been written out of what you people feel obliged to call “Greek myth”. Except there’s nothing mythical about it, we’re real enough,...

The Penguin

Negotiations with a prostitute

"How much for a blow job?" “It’ll be fifty quid” “I’ve only got twenty, what can I get for that?" “For twenty, you can have a penguin.” “A penguin? what’s that?” “I’ll show you.” Taking the money, she dropped to her knees, tugging his pants and shorts dow...

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The Booty Monster

One should always be cautious with terrors on the loose...or should you?

Mouths salivated on receipt of random rimmings, The Booty Monster was on the prowl. Parting bubbly cheeks and swirling it’s licentious long tongue into women’s rectums all over town. Explosions of, ‘eat my fucking ass!’ from the windows of those chosen, P...

Starting Over

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently,” Henry Ford

  Continuous pulses rippled through the oozing folds of my hungry quim. The Sybian2400’s pleasure waves, on my favourite intermittent setting, had already wracked my body and wrecked my g-spot. Greedily going for more; the dildo hunted and corralled anoth...

Polka Dot Panties

A day in the life…

Pick me, pick me! Yea! A whole day luxuriating in her warm, snug nest! Wheee—down to the ankles we go! Must be pee-pee time. Lovely view! Oops—missed a few drips! No problem. I’m cotton—nice and absorbent! What’s happening now? She’s getting excited! Real...

Oh god, here she comes again. I don’t think I can take much more of this. I used to be a treat… a naughty little 'get her in the mood' thing. Maybe once or twice a week, she’d open the dressing table drawer and run her fingers gently along my length. She’...