I shouldn't be doing this. I feel her lips wrap around the head of my dick, and I groan. Oh fuck, I'm in serious trouble. My train of thought slows immensely when she runs her tongue along the underside of my dick head. The seconds tick by and her sucking gets harder, deeper, my fingers in her hair. Fuuuck, her mouth is already on me, I might as well let her finish. I stick to that fucked up reasoning, feeling her touch my balls and suck my dick like she's wanted to for years now. I focus on it, on the feel of her lips and her tongue, the way they worship my heavy cock. I keep her long hair out of her face, her head bobbing up and down in my lap. The image of a beautiful blue eyed brunette floods my mind, and I push her head on my dick. She gags, but keeps sucking, trying hard to impress me.

God damn it, I shouldn't be doing this and I know it. The guilt is already slipping through the cracks, dripping into my consciousness, and I push on her head again. Her throat constricts around my engorged dick, her hand wrapped around the base, and I keep her there for a moment. I don't want to suffocate her, but it feels so fucking good. She pushes on my thigh, and I finally release her, hearing her gasp and slurp around my cock. I give her a moment to clean up the extra saliva on my piece, then push on her blonde head again. She's the one who pushed for this, I'm going to use her like I know she wants me to. I could very well be royally fucking up right now, and I've already come this far.

Hannah hums hungrily around my meat, then goes back down, and I help her, pushing up into her mouth. She holds onto my dick, and I start a steady rhythm, fucking her throat. I push a little too hard and she gags again, so I push again. She chokes on me, and it starts the tingling in my balls. I keep a handful of her hair, guiding her at the pace I want, letting her suck the tip. She tries to force her tongue into the hole in my cock, and I groan. Her slippery muscle rolls around me before she pushes her head into my lap, and I grind my teeth, feeling myself build, not holding it back.

"Are you ready?" I ask. She hums, nodding, and I force her down one last time. The tightness of her warm, wet insides push me over the edge, and I explode into her mouth. I groan out in the silence of my car, feeling her suck and swallow down all the sperm I'm feeding her. Every pump of my balls gives her more of my seed, and I concentrate on how good it feels. When my cock is finished spurting, it still throbs in Hannah's mouth, making sure I'm empty. I pant heavily as she sucks me clean, then leans back into the passenger seat. I don't open my eyes for a moment, putting my dick back in my pants...then it happens. The first thing I think about is Chanel. What the fuck did I just do? My heart sinks into my stomach, and I know Hannah's waiting for me to say something, do something. Hannah......oh fuck.

I open my eyes and turn my head sideways to look at her. She's smiling widely, proud of herself, happy about what just happened...and I feel like an asshole.

"You're sure you can't come inside?" she asks seductively. I tried to leave sooner, telling her I work early...then this happened.

"I'm sorry Hannah, I have to go," I say, and she nods.

"Ok, call me sometime," she says, and I nod back. She leans forward, kisses my cheek, then turns to get out of my car. Holy mother fucking shit. Have I completely lost it? I imagine the hurt look Chanel's face would twist into if I tell her, and I cover my own face, growling into my hands. I'm not sure what I expected to get out of this. If anything, this definitely solidifies how I feel about Chanel. Made abundantly clear that I like her more than I thought I did, because I feel lower than the scum of the earth. We haven't talked about committing to each other, but I know she trusted me, and I turned my back on her.

My phone buzzes loudly in the silence, and I startle like I've just been caught by Chanel. Before I even take it out of my pocket to look, I know it's her. When my eyes confirm her name on the screen, my stomach rolls.

*You should come over. I rolled the perfect joint and I want to share it with you.* her message says, and I shake my head. See that? She's so fucking nice, she wants to hang out and get me high. If that isn't a bad ass chick, I don't know what is. Then I begin to imagine if Chanel told me she got with another guy, and I feel nauseous. I would be jealous and I know it. Should I go see her? No, probably not. Fuck, I don't know...I want to. I start my car, and drive away from Hannah's house. I shouldn't have done this. A few people keep telling me how I shouldn't get tied down right now, barking in my ear like they know what's best for me. I guess they got through a little. I agreed to meet Hannah when she contacted me after finding out I wasn't married anymore. She's wanted my nuts for years . She's a pretty girl, but it was never the right time. This still wasn't the right time, and I was too fucking stupid to see it.

As I drive, I find myself going in the direction that isn't my house, and eventually end up at Chanel's condo. The lights are on in her house, and I turn off my car. I should tell her. I need to tell her, don't I? Would I want to know if I were her? That's debatable. The more anxious I get, the more I just want to see her. Fuck. I step out and lock my car, then walk to her front door, making sure I remembered to zip myself up. Chanel opens when I knock, and she looks entirely too beautiful, making my stomach drop further.

"Hey, I wasn't sure if you were coming," she smiles at me, dressed in skin tight yoga pants and a tank top. Her dark silky hair is impeccably straight today, the ends grazing her waist, and I immediately want to drop to my knees and show her how sorry I am for something I never want her to know.

"Surprise," I reply, composing a smile on my face.

"Come in," she steps aside, and I walk in and shut the door. "How are you?" she asks, walking into her living room, Red Hot Chili Peppers playing from her stereo.

"Fine. You?" I ask, and follow her mesmerizing ass in those fucking pants.

"I'm great," she smiles, picking up something from her coffee table. "Let's smoke out back," she says, leading the way again. We step outside, the sprinklers running on her lawn, the sky getting darker, and she looks up at me.

"Are you ok?" Chanel asks. She knows me all too well, and I already know I can't do it. I don't want to tell her. I don't want to see her upset.

"Yeah," I nod, and put my hand on her back. "Just missed you," I add, wanting to tell her something that's true and will make her happy. She smiles and pulls my face down so she can kiss me. The moment her soft lips touch mine, I pull her tightly against me, kissing her with my certainty of how much I like this. How much I love it. How now more than ever I'm sure that I don't want to waste my time on anyone else. She missed me too, I can taste it.

"You sure you're ok?" she asks, and my soul cringes knowing she can sense something's wrong.

"I am now," I say, and she smiles.

"I messaged you earlier, you could have come seen me," she says when I finally let her go.

"I know I'm sorry, I was with some friends," I say, and take a seat next to her in the folding chairs. She asks me about my day, which I skim over, and I keep her talking about hers as we smoke outside.

"I called that Camille woman, remember, from Puerto Rico?" she asks, exhaling smoke, and I nod. "Yeah, well, I thought maybe I could make some extra cash if she's serious. She set something up for me this weekend, I might let them take pictures of me," she smiles as if it's funny.

"You won't be naked will you?" I wonder aloud, and she laughs.

"No, I don't plan on nude photography being part of my portfolio," she assures me, and I feel like an asshole. She not even mine to care, especially after what I just did. I take another hit and focus on our conversation. We go back inside when the joint is gone and sit on her couch, watching TV shows that are way more crazy when you're stoned. She has no problem curling up on my lap so she can play with my hair, and kiss me whenever she wants. This has been normal for us lately, and I both love it, and feel disgusted with myself right now.

I lay down and pull her on top of me when she says she's tired, but doesn't want to move. Her little body cuddles up to me, her head on my chest and I sigh, stroking her back. I ponder through different scenarios of what could happen if I tell her. What if she was cool with it?...Why on earth would she be cool with it? That would only happen if she fooled around with someone else recently. Ok, no more of that, next scenario. What if she was, of course, upset, but listened when I told her how much she means to me, and forgave me? She's got one hell of a big heart, I can almost see her doing that. Then I start to imagine us over the last few weeks, and that scenario quickly turns to smoke as well; look at us right now. I knew it would get complicated when I started showing her more affection, but I didn't care. I was falling for her. Am falling for her. I wasn't even looking at other women. None of them compare to Chanel, not even Hannah. So why did I do it? I need to ask the person I was right before it happened, because I just don't know. All I know is I'm not telling her tonight.