Unable to return to my dad's with my mind churning since the quarrel with Louise, I walk aimlessly in the rain. I should have seen this coming, and it's my own fault for encouraging her to share her fantasies with me, knowing she was aware of my flexible arrangements with Charlotte from the videos she found. Is this another time when I should bow down to what she wants for an easier life? Would standing back while she explores herself sexually be the right thing to do? I doubt it'll be me she returns to after, and now I have the daunting task of recinding all the wedding invitations she's sent out with my father.

I stop, aching from the exertion and realise I'm now outside the flat we shared. It's barely a fifteen-minute walk from the bar on a good day, but with a boot and crutches, it's taken an hour. Leaning against the brickwork, fatigued and shivering in damp clothes, I take a moment to figure out my next move.

The shutters are already locked on the off-licence beneath, yet a warm glow in our bedroom window indicates Louise has returned safely and hasn't gone to bed despite the lateness of the hour. My first thought is to turn around now that I've confirmed she's managed to get home okay, but my draw towards her has me fumbling for the keys in my pocket. Whatever we said during the heat of our argument weighs heavily, and I'm unsure of what I want to say, but I know I need to listen.

The door shuts quietly, and I stare up the steep staircase that's almost insurmountable in my wounded state, then take a step. I might as well be climbing a mountain at the mammoth task ahead, with my left foot clipping each tread as I use my upper body strength to pull up, before stopping halfway through to catch my breath.

A giggle halts me in my tracks, followed by the moans of Louise and the grunts of a man in climax. My heart immediately falls into the pit of my stomach and I continue up cautiously, nauseous as the tell-tale creaking of the bed resumes, before creeping silently towards the door. My hands are trembling as I reach for the handle, bracing myself to confront my cheating lover.

"Mm, this changes nothing. I'm still not forgiving you until you admit what you said to him," Louise suddenly says, making me pause from barging through the door at the last moment. "You said you weren't even coming out tonight. Do you understand what a difficult position you put me in by making him corner me like that? You almost ruined everything. He didn't even care about that stupid wedding until you put ideas in his head."

I hold my breath and a voice I recognise well after tonight, and hadn't expected answers. "Fine, I heard he was going, and I wanted to haze him a little after you rubbed my face in it. You're only meant to keep him sweet until he's on board, Lou."

"Hah, don't give me that when you were trying to make me jealous with Amy. You know as well as I do that it could take well over a year, and how am I supposed to trust you? For all I know, you'll disappear once the money comes through and leave us in the lurch with nothing."

My gut churns as I continue to listen and fight back the explosive anger that almost erupted the moment I recognised Bradley's voice. "I promise I won't. I love you, and it's driving me crazy knowing you're still sleeping with him, but we need to focus on building towards our future. Just convince him to invest it through me."

"I don't know... Are you certain it's safe? He's good with figures, and there's no way he'll get involved with anything that could be risky. Just promise me this isn't some kind of ponzi—"

He laughs obnoxiously, cutting her off. "Louise, darling, don't worry over things you don't have any hope of understanding. I'm only asking you to put him in touch with me, and I can explain it all directly. Now let's stop wasting time and focus on us... Ah! Well, what did you expect would happen after you kept talking about him? I swear you've been different since that deadbeat returned; it's almost like you still love him."

My heart may as well have been yanked out, and I slide into grief against the wall, fighting back stinging tears. It's not too late to return to my father's before she notices my presence, but I'm torn between running away to pretend it isn't happening, or to rip the two apart as they continue, oblivious to my distress. But this isn't a simple affair. It's something far more sinister and calculating, with the bastard planting ideas in her head in his plan to defraud me. She's already begun sowing the seeds to encourage me into investment. I need to ascertain whether he's just stringing her along to get his hands on the cash, or if I'm genuinely at risk of losing her. I'll forgive everything to prevent it.

Summoning courage, I slam through the door, taking less than a second to survey the scene of her beneath him to verify the truth. "Hah, you sure know how to break a man down, baby. But you should have at least waited until I'd agreed to an open relationship before pulling the wool over my eyes."

The duo freeze what they're doing as they turn towards me, but instead of clambering apart in shock or guilt, Bradley laughs without remorse or fear of consequences. "Well, hasn't tonight got a little more interesting? I suppose I might be game for some experimentation, but I'm definitely on top."

"I swear you better get away from my girlfriend and get the fuck outta my home before I throttle you with my bare hands," I yell back, seeing red before his words sink in. "What the hell did you fucking say?"

"Exactly what you think you heard. I've always wondered if it feels different having a man suck my cock."

His arrogance knows no bounds as he leans for his cigarettes and his zippo clinks as he lights up, smiling at my stupefied reaction from the bed. He makes no attempt to hide or pretend that he hasn't been fucking my girlfriend either. I'll be more than justified to throw myself at him to drag him out as he ignores my demand to leave, but he more than certainly knows everything from the glint in his eyes. I'm at a loss for words, and for the first time in my life, I flee the situation, burning with humility and move straight for the stairs.

"Matthew, just stop." Louise chases after me, wrapped within a thin white sheet that conceals nothing. "It's not what it looks like. Just sit down and we'll talk this through."

"I know I'm stupid, but I'm not fucking blind! Why the hell are you doing this to me? First, you ask me for an open relationship, and when I come over to talk about it, I find you already screwing him. Am I not enough for you?"

"If anything, I'm the one who should be mad when you've dropped by unannounced. But I suppose with you already being here, it's only right that I tell you Brad already knows all about you, and he's open to the idea." Louise takes my hand limply in hers, which I immediately drop. "So what if I took the initiative? I thought you'd be happy."

The contrast between the Louise I thought I knew and the shameless woman standing before me is stark. "That was between us, Louise, not between some man I don't know from Adam. Just how long has this been going on?"

"A couple of months," she replies dismissively. "Look, you just said it was okay, so I don't understand what your problem is. You're lucky I'm willing to let you indulge your needs —why won't you let me explore mine? You promised to give me everything I want if I filled in that stupid diary and sent messages."

"Months! Do you hear yourself? You have no right to be doing anything behind my back. Not to mention you're only planning to stay long enough to involve me in some dodgy investments. The man's a fraud, and he'll shaft you the moment he gets his hands on it. You're deluded if you think he cares about you like I do. Why can't you see he's just using you?"

Louise offers her hand again, assuming she can lure me back. "No-no. It's all legit, and we thought for sure that you'd be interested. He'll explain it all to you. But, please, baby, don't be such a prude and come to bed with us first. We'll talk it through in the morning. You're my first and only love, despite everything you've put me through."

I see right through her and the attempt to play off what I clearly heard with sweetened words. Louise's disdain and vast underestimation of my intellect is startling, especially if she thinks I can be manipulated this easily. At any other time, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, but I caught her red-handed with the slimeball.

I can't bring myself to look at her again. "Fuck no! You cheated on me. For months! I figured you were avoiding me, but you abandoned me while I was in the hospital to shack up with this— There's a huge difference between asking first and gaining consent afterwards like you're doing. We're not doing this. End of discussion."

"So, are you planning to break up with me? I can't believe this." The facade drops, realising her sweet talking isn't getting her anywhere. "I don't get why you're so bothered when you're only going through the motions. You're boring and depressive, and you're only caring now because it's destroying you, knowing that Bradley is so much better than you in every way. He even gave me back the cash you left at the bar because he knows you can barely afford this flat and constantly need to borrow money from your dad. If anything, you should be glad I gave you the time of day when you were a womanising loser."

Many words come to mind in response, but Brad saunters from the bedroom with one of our towels wrapped around his waist and a grin on his pretentious face. "So, has he decided to join us, or are we done here? It's getting late, and some of us need to work tomorrow."

My eyes flick between them and the arm he's now snuck around her waist, where it doesn't belong, while he sneers at me. This is far worse than just a fling. He's making a blatant play to steal her away from me, regardless of the sniff of money drying up. He should have been out of here the moment I caught on, otherwise. I need to hold my tongue and wait for whatever she sees this as to come to an end before I force her away with Rebekah for the sake of my pride. I can play the long game. What other choice can I make, even if it kills me inside?

"I'm going back to my dad's, and I'll speak to you when you're alone. Do what you want; I just hope you see sense soon."

I manage to keep it together in the taxi home, but as soon as I get through the front door, I break down in the hallway. As much as I recognise that this is my punishment for being a shitty brother by putting John through the same anguish, it doesn't hurt any less. But I'll do anything to keep Rebekah in my life, even allow countless flings and affairs if I have to. Brad can have Louise all he wants, but he'll never take my entire world from me. I won't let him.

----

I become a zombie over the following weeks, barely eating and drinking myself to oblivion in the bar most weekends while Louise 'finds herself' and shacks up with Brad. I'd figured she'd get bored and crawl back to me once the novelty wore off, but his thrall over her deepened with designer clothing, expensive jewellery and shoes which she rubbed in every time she picked up Rebekah. She's happily growing accustomed to a lifestyle I cannot afford, though I suspect it isn't sustainable if my suspicions are true about him being nothing more than a crook.

My head pounds as I wake, having rolled off the settee, but I reach for the bourbon on the coffee table to return to my numbing stupor. I'd lose myself to meaningless sex to take off the more destructive urges tormenting my lucidity, but I cannot bring myself to desire another.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" My father stands over me, and he snatches the almost-empty bottle before I can bring it to my lips to place it inside a bin bag. "This isn't the answer. For God's sake, pull yourself together. You're not winning any battle behaving like this."

I know I've fallen off the wagon, and numerous cans from the weekend cover the carpet, but I can't bear the Christmas holidays without Rebekah. One measly photo was the best she'd afforded me this week of my daughter, and my misery spiralled. "It's already over. Louise doesn't want me. She's better off with this new chump she can leech off."

My dad ignores me, instead drawing back the curtains and scorching out my eyeballs with daylight. "Right, get yourself in that shower and sober up fast. My Granddaughter is coming over, and I don't need you here ruining it by stinking up the place with booze."

I blink at him. "Rebekah's coming over? I thought Louise was taking her away to see her family... I didn't get a call or anything."

He holds out my phone, which flashes a dozen messages and a missed call. "She's popping in for a few hours then leaving tomorrow. So sort yourself out, then get your arse up that shop for a Christmas tree and food. You've got two hours while I make this place presentable and air it out. It's like a fucking pub inside with you two moping around."

----

I'm ninety-nine per cent certain my father has lost his mind as his half-filled champagne glass clinks against mine, then Louise's and John's in unison. The tiniest smidge of hope that we can get through this dinner without fighting between us is the only thing rooting me to my chair and preventing me from dashing out the front door. "Cheers, everyone!"

Beaming from ear to ear, Louise takes a sip from her glass. I'm not sure what she's playing at by dropping over today, and I immediately drain mine, uncomfortable by her closeness. His pungent cologne is all over her.

"This looks and smells amazing," she says, dazzlingly beautiful with a huge smile she's never worn before. Totally fake. "I'm so sorry it was such late notice. I was up all night with coursework and packing for the trip."

"Don't worry about it. You're free to drop by any time." My father's simpering doesn't fool me, but I leave him to it as I cut into my food. "Is the course still going well?"

"Honestly, it's much harder than I thought it would be. Rebekah needs so much of my time that I'm struggling to complete it all."

I quickly pipe in, "I could help with that. I've always said I'm happy to work around you."

Louise drags her eyes over my appearance and wrinkles her nose with disgust. "Right. You're between jobs at the moment? Must be nice lounging about and drinking most nights. And don't try bullshitting me because you called at 2 AM from that bar, Crystals? Or was it a Crystal you had latched onto your arm? Nothing changes with you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." But my mind screeches to a halt after my droll response and flashes of a blonde, and my poorly thought-out method to make her jealous for attention comes back. I almost leap out of my seat in alarm to profess my innocence. "I never slept with her! There's been no one else since you."

"I assure you, Louise, there's been no one else back here. And where credit's due, he's managing the website between his physiotherapy sessions and never drinks when he's taking care of Rebekah. Give him a chance."

"Well, this is fucking weird," my brother says, quietly enough that I don't think anyone was supposed to hear, while our father remains captivated in his conversation with Louise.

"Tell me about it," I reply, equalling his hushed tone. "Want to grab a drink later?"

It's the first time we've acknowledged each other's existence in three months, and he meets my glance across the table with a hard stare. I felt awful for breaking up his relationship, but only now do I truly understand the crushing humiliation I caused him from my selfish decision. It's an irreparable hurt, and a rational person would cast aside the guilty party. Unfortunately for him, I've been stuck under his feet, though not by choice. My smile is brief and meek in an attempt to be courteous.

John shovels a forkful of turkey into his mouth, then throws the cutlery down with a clatter as he gets to his feet. "I'm not hungry. A whole fucking table of snakes is enough to put me off my food."

"It's Rebekah's first Christmas, for God's sake. Just sit down."

"So, I should grin and bear it for Matt's sake? Give over, Dad. You might as well have invited that other bitch over while you're at it." He leers at the two of us before jabbing a finger in my direction. "Did you honestly cheat on him because of Sadie? I'm glad the two of you are clearly made for each other, but this wholesome family charade makes me sick."

The door slams shut as he...