Chapter Fifteen: Till Death Do Us Fart The opening fanfare of the Wedding March from A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream rang out jubilantly across the nave of All Cunts Langham Place, as Harriet appeared at the top of the aisle, escorted by her father. There was a communal gasp of admiration at her shimmering chiffon wedding gown – frontless down to her waist so that her glorious full breasts could stand proud before her, and...

The alarm clock rang, and I pulled the sheet over my head and reached for the clock. I shut the noisy thing off and rolled out of bed to slowly stumble to the bathroom. My head was pounding with a hangover, while my ass was sore from last night's vicious fucking by Detective Norman. I groaned and looked into the mirror, where I saw an image with bloodshot eyes, and I groaned again. I popped several Excedrin and brushed my...

Chapter Fourteen: Boléro Wankminster Central Hall was dark and silent, its occupants waiting with bated breath for the start of the final performance of Smoke-‘n’-Fuck 2050. Fuxmy Gopal and her cameraman had returned to their posts at the rear, and the three judges were seated back at their table in the centre of the auditorium. A single spotlight picked out Harriet’s face, her blond hair swept back so that her broad jaw...

Before we were together, the garage was where my wife would slip off to for a smoke. “Getting fresh air,” as she called it. She switched to vaping a few weeks before our first date, but knowing what it does to me, she still has the occasional cigarette in the bedroom. We were supposed to have the house to ourselves the other weekend, but plans changed, and our daughter stayed home. It had been a long week, and we were dea...

Interlude Report: Harriet Danes Upper Sixth Form Kunt College April 2050 Dear Mr & Mrs Danes, Harriet has been making excellent progress in her academic studies this term. She is to be congratulated on the fact that the Royal Academy of Fucking have not felt the need to call her for a live audition, but have already offered her an unconditional place based upon her ‘A’-Level Fucking Guided Cuntwork. I know that Professor...

Chapter Twelve: And Behold, There Ran Out Piss From Under the Right Side of the Temple The quickest way from North London to Cunting Town is by tube, changing at Bonk for the Dicklands Light Railway. And so that is the way Harriet and Janey took – though by the time they climbed the pee-streaked outside staircase to Michael’s flat and knocked on the peeling green door, the sun had already set, and Harriet had smoked at le...

He slipped in the house quietly from work, figuring she was probably asleep by now and he didn't want to wake her up. It was kind of late, a normal occurrence for a restaurant manager. He sat on the couch and started scrolling through his phone. A few minutes of quiet passed until from the next room he heard a sound that he always yearns to hear. The sound that excited him, the flick of a lighter. It was followed by the s...

After seeing her sister’s apartment, Rachel decided that she owed her boyfriend an apology. Much as Bertie’s hyper-punctual housecleaning schedule could irritate her, it had never occurred to her that his efforts could be keeping something like that from happening. “So,” Leanne mumbled, “where do you want to start?” Even for a studio the apartment was small, and it was clear that their parents had set Leanne up with a mis...

Chapter Eleven: How Many Times Exactly Did He Eat Your Cunt? “Ah, Miss Danes!” Miss Poussée was clearly busy, as she dashed past in the corridor clutching a large bundle of dildos, apparently late for class. Harriet hardly had a chance to respond before her teacher continued at speed: “Now, I know we are meeting next week, with your fuck-friends. But you mentioned that you were having trouble with some of those new smokin...

Chapter Ten: Cum in Perspective Harriet arrived home lovingly clutching her carton of Marlboro “red” 100s close to her chest. “Oh Hattie,” exclaimed her mother as Harriet walked through the front door, “come and say hello to Mr and Mrs Jones – you remember, from the Highgate BDSM Club?” Mr and Mrs Jones were among the Danes family’s closest friends, and frequently dropped by for a fuck – though that never stopped Geneviev...

Tim led the way to the elevator, and once on the street, he indicated the way. The summer night was warm, but there was a slight breeze, and Tim took my hand in his. Silently, we walked briefly, and he opened the driver's door to a magnificent, red Oldsmobile Toronado. "This is your car?" "What do you think, Ronnie?" "I think you are taking bribes," I joked and slid over to the passenger side. "I make payments," he laughe...

I'd long gotten used to the quiet of the country. For almost thirty years, I'd lived well outside the town limits. My small house was on a gravel, dead-end road, and only a few other dwellings were within sight of mine. I took privacy for granted, never bothering to close my curtains. Sometimes I forgot to lock my doors. The house on my left had always been a little too close for comfort; from my bedroom window, I had a c...

Chapter Nine: Smoke-‘n’-Fuck “Ah, Harriet, you got my message, good. Thank you for coming,” Polly Poussée beckoned, as Harriet knocked and edged the teacher’s office door open. She was surprised to find that Miss Poussée was not alone: two other students were seated nervously, somewhat self-consciously, on the edge of the office fuck-couch. “You know Danny and Danielle, don’t you, Harriet?” “Uh… yes?” Harriet’s response m...