I woke the next morning with the taste in my mouth having become stale. It took a moment for me to identify it, but when it did, I felt that familiar warmth of shame and arousal as I pictured the sight of myself kneeling before him in the darkness. 

I had awoken before my alarm, so I decided to take advantage of the extra time, and I jumped into the shower before Cheryl. Even with a quick touch-up of the shaving of my cock and balls, I was out of the shower in plenty of time to avoid interfering with her normal morning routine. 

By the time I left the washroom wrapped in a towel, Cheryl was up. 

“Wow,” she said. “Have you lost weight?”

I paused. I hadn’t really noticed anything, but I had been on Liam’s program for a while. 

“A bit, yes, I think so. I’ve been trying to eat better, taking vitamins, and finding some time every day for a bit of exercise. What do you think?”

I smiled and struck a pose.

“It looks good. You’re really getting some tone,” she said, then gave me a quick kiss as she slid past me to take her shower. 

Her words lingered with me, and as soon as she left for work, I slipped downstairs to get dressed and spent some extra time looking at myself in the room’s full-length mirror. It was true. My belly was tightening, making my hips seem a bit more prominent, and I thought I noticed a bit of softness in my face as well. 

It was working. Liam’s plan and the doctor’s pills were actually reshaping me, and Cheryl had noticed. I started to wonder just how much change these things would make as I swallowed my morning dose. Inspired, I actually changed into a pair of stockings with garters. 

With my panties and stockings on under my normal clothes, I forced myself to head to my office and get to some work. Especially with the day before as a lost day, I had fallen a bit behind on my commitments. 

I’d been working for about an hour when I heard the doorbell ring. I pushed back from my desk and went to answer the door. 

To my surprise, it was Liam. It wasn’t so much of a surprise to see him during the day, but more that he had knocked rather than letting himself in. I greeted him with a nervous smile and welcomed him in. I offered him a cup of coffee, and he accepted. 

He made his way to the living room, and I went to fetch the coffee. I set his mug on the side beside the sofa where he had taken a seat. 

“Strip down to your lingerie, and then you may sit.”

I quickly removed my pants and shirt, leaving myself exposed in the panties and stockings. Remembering his rules for me, I set my own coffee down on the table and knelt down on the carpet facing him. 

He smiled softly, lifted his mug for a sip, and looked down over me. 

“How are you adjusting to things, Crissy, with your new life?” he asked. 

I paused to think, as it seemed like he was after more than a superficial answer.

“It isn’t always easy, Master. The hiding is hard, or when I feel like I’m lying to Cheryl. I don’t want to hurt her. But at the same time, I can’t deny that the things that you’ve had me do are the kinds of things I never dreamed would be real for me. Being made into a submissive sissy, being used and objectified as I have been… it’s been overwhelming. It’s hard to explain, I think, but sometimes the same secret-keeping that makes me feel guilty also makes the submission even more arousing.”

“That’s good, Crissy. It is as it should be. I want you to remember what I said last night, that you can be comforted by the fact that these aren’t your choices anymore. You may be enjoying what is happening to you, but you still don’t have any choice. I don’t think you really want to contemplate what it feels like to have everyone know just what you are underneath that disguise.”

“No, Master,” I answered, and it was true. Up until now, I’d been shown off to a curated group who, while they were strangers to me, were all clearly eager to accept and play with someone submissive and kinky. I knew all too well that the world was still full of those who would react solely with judgment and derision, and disgust. It would cost me relationships with family, and it would cost me my professional reputation, not to mention potentially my marriage.  

“I know you love Cheryl. I know you don’t want to hurt her,” Liam said. “The changes you’ve been living through have already had an effect on her. You have seen her interest in Lydia blossoming, and you also already know my plans regarding her, don’t you?”

“Yes, Master. Crissy knows you plan to fuck her.”

“That’s right, sissy. I’m going to have sex with your wife. I want you to understand something, though. When I fuck her, it isn’t going to be like my first time with you. She isn’t going to give herself to me to keep some secret or because she has some part of herself that she needs to hide. She is going to come to my bed because she wants me.” 

He smiled wide, and I felt the weight of his words come down upon me. 

“When it comes to hurting Cheryl, there’s another bit of advice I want to give you. You hurt someone when they find out a truth about you that they can’t understand or accept. Right now, Cheryl can’t accept or understand what you are or the needs you have that you’ve never been able to escape or put away. If you are a good and obedient sissy for your Master, there may be a way that this situation can change.”

There was a softness in his voice that was somehow so reassuring. It didn’t make any sense that the man who was leading me down a path of such sexual depravity and infidelity with an ever-growing list of his friends would be the one to give me kind words about my marriage, but he was.   

He reached over and ran his fingers through my hair.

“Now, I have a busy day today, but I wanted to show you something. It is a bit of an experiment. I want you to tell me the name of a porn star you liked — one that you used to jerk off to when you were thinking about women.”

I paused… searching my thoughts for one particular favorite.

“Uhm, maybe, Alanah Rae, Master.”

He smiled and pulled out his phone. After a moment or two, he seemed to be satisfied and then reached over for the remote and turned on my TV. As the screen came to life, he was able to stream to it from his phone, and suddenly there was the image of Alanah on a porn tube site. He picked a random video and started it playing. 

“Jerk off for her, Crissy,” he commanded. 

I looked back at him, seeking out confirmation in his expression. He just gestured back towards the screen. 

I knelt upright and lifted my cock out of my panties, and began to masturbate right there in the living room on my knees.  

The video went along typical lines for her films, with very little time taken before the male star’s hands were all over her massive breasts. Soon her clothing was pulled and tugged from her, and the action only increased in intensity. The man started driving his cock inside her, making her breasts sway and bounce in ways that would normally have had my own erection raging. 

As it was, to my own humiliation, all I could achieve was half-hardness at best. After ten or fifteen minutes, when Alanah was having her incredible tits coated with cum, Liam spoke again.

“Clearly, you aren’t getting anywhere, sissy. Stop stroking.”

“Yes, Master,” I said, feeling my body warm from the frustration. 

“Now, take a deep breath. Relax.” 

I worked to calm myself and put my failure behind me. Alanah’s image, frozen in satisfaction, disappeared from the TV screen.

“Now, it’s time for the second part of the experiment. This is for you.”

He reached into his bag and pulled out a tube of lubricant and an imposingly large moulded dildo, textured with a realistic cock head, throbbing veins, and a pair of balls.   

“Lubricate it and yourself, slut, and prepare to fill yourself with it,” he instructed.

I started with the dildo, spreading a generous coating of the lube over it from head to balls and all around. Next was me. I pulled my panties down to my knees and reached back to spread the cool and tingly-feeling gel between my cheeks and all over the puckered rosebud of my ass. 

“On you go,” he reminded me.

It took a bit of flexibility, but I guided the head of the dildo to my ass and pushed it inside me. I moaned softly as the head pushed fully in and made its way deeper and deeper inside me. 

The TV screen came to life again, filled with a grid of preview images of more video clips. 

“Masturbate again, sissy, and ride the dildo as well,” he commanded.

I reached back with my left hand and gripped the dildo using the balls as a kind of handle. With my right hand, I took hold of my own cock once more and began to stroke it. 

Liam selected one of the clips and started playing it, bringing the screen to life and filling the living room with the sounds of moaning and gasping. I could see immediately that the camera work was less professional and hand-held. It was all men with their projecting erections surrounding someone on their knees. 

Once I got the hang of stroking myself with one hand and riding the dildo with the other, I could give a bit more of my attention to the video playing. Once I did, it became immediately evident that the figure on their knees was me. The video was from the poker game. The sounds of moaning and slurping grew louder, and the camera moved in closer, capturing my lips tight around the shaft pounding into me. 

My face was hot, and I was lost in the shame of seeing just how depraved and wanton I looked in this recording. All the same, I couldn’t look away. I’d never seen myself like this, and there was so much of that night that was a blur to me.

“Hands off!” Liam barked. 

My hands fell to my sides, and I realised that I was panting. 

“Look down at yourself, slut,” Liam instructed.

I gazed down, and to my shock, I realised that my cock was rock hard and fully erect. My cock head was purple and glistening with precum. 

“You see, the effects of the drugs aren’t total. Stimulation of your prostate is still a very effective way to arouse a cocksucking sissy slut like you. The right mental inspiration doesn’t hurt, either. Now, as to how knowing that you need your sissy ass pussy fucked to get hard is going to help you fuck your poor, horny, sexually frustrated wife… that’s a whole other problem.” He laughed. 

I had nothing I could think of to say at all. My head just sank, and I stared at the floor, lost in just how broken I had become.

He approached me with a length of white cotton rope. He doubled it and then wrapped it around my waist, bringing the two ends together through the loop made in the middle at my back. He brought the ends down between my legs and over the base of the dildo, then tied the ends with a simple knot below my belly. The rope pushed the dildo fully inside my ass. 

“Pull up your panties, sissy. You can get dressed and go back to work, but you’re going to remain fucked full all day. I’m not going to put your cage on today, but I think you know that you do not have permission to cum. Be a good cock whore, and you can take the toy out at 4:30.”

He didn’t wait for me to be done before he left, so I was alone by the time I had pulled up my panties and gotten re-dressed. I turned off the television and cleaned up the pair of mugs before heading back to my office to work.

The whole day was anguish and agony. I felt the dildo so large and full and deep inside me, with the moulded balls trapped between my ass cheeks. It shifted each time I moved, and I was constantly aware of its presence inside me. Not only did its size make me ache, but the way it pressed against my insides kept inspiring repeated erections and constant mid-level arousal. 

I had to use a lot of willpower to keep my hands off of myself, but I knew that I was on a hair trigger. Not only had I stroked myself to the near edge without really knowing it in the morning, but I had lost track of the last time I’d cum at all. I had to constantly remind myself to keep my hands above the surface of my desk. The only choice I had was to throw myself into my work and keep my hands on the keyboard. 

Somehow, total impotence would have been easier to accept. This felt like a vicious and cruel tease. What if Liam gave me permission for sex with Cheryl again now, knowing this? It wasn’t like I could just ask her to plug my ass, nor was it like I could stuff one in on my own without her noticing. I couldn’t see her getting the kind of joy out of pegging me that the women at Ashely’s store had. Without telling her, I would be stuck as I was then, unable to satisfy her and pushing her only more quickly into Lydia’s arms or maybe even Liam’s. 

Finally, 4:30 came, and could free myself of the direct physical torment of the dildo. I went upstairs and untied the rope, then eased the dildo out of me with a low moan. I cleaned up, feeling empty and open and lost.

I got everything put away downstairs and got into my normal clothes once more. My lust-fueled day had been surprisingly productive, so I just knocked off work then and set to making dinner. Soon, Cheryl would be home, and I would have to pretend once again to be a normal man.