Cheating death Stories

“I am death, the Grim Reap…” “I fucking swear if you point and say, ‘the salmon mousse,’ I’m going to kick you in your bony balls!” In a harrowing, shrill voice, the cloaked figure intoned, “The time is nigh.” “The science guy? What the literal, living fuck, Mr. Reaper? Wrong house.” Overall, I was slightly less than impressed. Sure, the mottled cloak of somber charcoal and dead black, pardon the pun, was a bit terrifying...

It was in the year of our lord, seventeen-twenty when the Lust sailed from her hideout, El Saqueo la Caleta. The day was sunny with fair winds. She was a one hundred fifty ton, eighty foot vessel that carried one hundred pirates. There were over twenty cannons and a very large cargo space. She had two masts and her main sail could be fitted with either square sails that were best in quartering wind, or fore-and-aft sails...