“Wake up, wake up, honey.” I was groggy from lack of sleep and the effects of my hangover. As I slowly got my bearings, I realized I was in a bedroom I didn’t recognize. It all started coming back to me. The drinking, the anger, the way I threw myself at Tyrell and Lewis and taunted Neil about it. I closed my eyes, barely able to think about last night’s events. How had it come to that? The whole weekend had been planned...

A special surprise for Neil. It had seemed such a good idea at the time. It was Jason who had the idea initially, suggesting it would be really romantic if we made my trip back to Neil a surprise. And I agreed, it was wonderfully romantic and I knew Neil would love it. I’d arrive unannounced in the early hours of Easter Saturday and give Neil a special Easter weekend surprise. I’d sneak into our home, wake him with a lovi...

I stood in the departure area watching Neil’s back walking away from me, and I felt a deep pang of regret and loss. We’d spent most of Sunday and Monday together, just the two of us, but now this time together seemed all too short. Even as the pain of loss and separation spread throughout my body, I sighed as I thought about the dilemma that had caused our separation. I’ve always been a curious mix of stubborn and caring,...

The ‘buckle up for landing’ announcement came out over the speakers. I took a deep breath, sighed and forced myself to stop thinking about how things were developing with Hannah. And I grimaced at the thought of having to open up to Claire about it this weekend. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was just after midnight and the airport was quiet, and so I soon spotted Jason’s imposing frame as I cam...

There was a loud rapping on the hotel door. “Claire, it’s me.” My heart leaped. I opened the door and threw myself into his arms. There was a chance this thing was still going to be okay. After Alvita had challenged me whether or not I loved her son, I’d been totally freaked out and unnerved. I’d had to get some space to pull myself together and get my head straight. Alvita’s simple four-word question, ‘Do you love Jason’...

Neil was sat up in bed when I entered our bedroom in the early hours of Wednesday morning. I could see his eagerness to hear details, but suddenly I felt incredibly tired. I guess excitement and adrenaline had driven me on through these last hours of our energetic love-making at Jason’s. But now back in the real world, all I wanted to do was sleep. “I’m sorry, honey, can it wait until tomorrow. I’m totally whacked and rig...

I don’t think I’d been happier than this in a long, long time. I was walking arm-in-arm with my beloved husband and best friend, enjoying our shared warmth in the bracing chill of a January morning. I felt so close to Neil and so alive. It was Sunday morning, and we’d decided to walk in Central Park, as we had some serious thinking to do and some big decisions to make. I don’t think Neil and I had felt this close and aliv...

The remainder of our cabin trip was a wonderful time when we all enjoyed a memorable Christmas break. After Hannah and I had made out, I’d felt jealous and insecure watching Claire and Jason together. As I secretly watched the two of them making love in Jason’s bedroom, it seemed different to when all three of us played together. They seemed especially close and to have a real hunger for each other. And the way they were...

As I sat there drinking my warm milk to help me sleep, there was no way I could ignore the sounds of love-making coming from Jason’s bedroom. I could clearly hear Claire’s voice as she moaned and sighed as Jason made love to her. It was Tuesday night and I realized Claire hadn’t seen Jason since Friday, a week and a half ago. As Claire normally saw Jason two or three times a week, to have gone without her well-hung black...

An eventful Christmas with agreed plans being tested by Jason’s family Hi, this is Neil, picking up the story from where Claire left off. It was the middle of December 2016, and Claire’s relationship with Jason had now been going strong for around five or six weeks. In many ways, Jason and I were chalk and cheese, with very different lives and upbringings. But having bonded over our mutual dedication to the Brooklyn Nets,...

The next morning the alarm buzzed, and I had to reach across Jason’s massive body, as he was sleeping on my side of the bed. With neither of my men showing any signs of life, I had to shuffle awkwardly between their two sleeping bodies, underneath the duvet and out of the bottom of the bed. Not very elegant or lady-like! After showering and coffee, I saw the boys who were still sleeping soundly. The way I saw it, they wer...

That Tuesday Claire and I headed off to work as normal. I knew it would be a crazy day of meetings and people needing my time. You know, one of those days you never quite get under control. Just before 5 p.m., I was about to head into my last meeting of the day, when I saw my phone light up with Jason’s name. My pulse immediately quickened and my muscles tensed. I could calmly deal with all kinds of stress at work, but se...

Claire’s view Hi, This is Claire still. Neil’s going to share his perspective and thoughts on those deep conversations that started that Monday evening, just after Veteran’s Day 2016.  But as it was me who first took the lead in those conversations, it makes sense if I share my memories first.  You never fully remember conversations as they were actually said, however important they were.  But even now, nearly two years o...

Hi, This is Claire. So far it’s been my loving husband Neil who’s described what’s happened to us since our younger daughter Caitlyn left for college. I’m happy for my beloved to carry on doing all the heavy lifting (After all, that’s what husbands are for!). But I’d like to add my two cents' worth before Neil continues. I guess I’d like to really expand on and give everyone a better understanding of my feelings and thoug...

When my shell-shocked state allowed me to, I finally upped and left the club and headed home to our lonely home. Our daughters were gone to college, and now their mother was gone too. Gone to the condo of a well-endowed black guy who we’d found on the internet. We’d only planned to meet for a meal and to get to know him a little. But by the end of the evening, Claire was gently telling me that she’d agreed to go back to h...