I think it began when I was a kid back in England or maybe France. My parents sent me off to boarding school to get my secondary education. Some of the things I learned were: 1) follow the rules, 2) don't talk back even if it's justified, 3) only the tough survive and 4) be tough. Being in your thirties, one starts to think back on your life, even as short as it is, trying to figure out, "How did I get like this?" Don't w...

I wake up disoriented with my head pounding, hungover from the sheer amount of alcohol I'd consumed last night. Stretching out in the bed with a yawn, I notice it's still dark, so I turn onto my front to go back to sleep, pulling the cover over my shoulders. It can't be later than seven at a push, and an extra few hours in bed before I deal with Liam is definitely what I need today. Annoyingly, the morning exercises begin...

That night whilst I laid next to Liam and listened to his peaceful breathing; I found myself unable to will myself to get out of the bed and leave. Selfishly, I had chosen to stay despite not feeling like I deserved him. The idea of just going and never knowing his love again was overwhelming. For whatever reason, he had sought me out, but due to his preference for sadism and his level of intoxication that couldn't happen...

I start a new day in a cold bed, without the expected Liam beside me. Wearily, I check the time, and it's not even seven. He didn't come back from the club last night, or if he did, he never joined me afterwards. But after what we discussed yesterday, I had the impression that there is currently no one else, though I still haven't asked him directly. Unable to sleep any longer, I quickly shower, then head downstairs witho...

I arrive at Liam's home, accompanied by Justin and Becka, with only minutes to spare. They're both stunned when they see the mansion he lives in, and they can't contain that surprise even as we're strolling up the steps to his front door. I tell them to act naturally, then anxiously ring the doorbell. It's been an unusual twenty-four hours. I hadn't expected to have my sexuality outed to the very person I'd secretly held...

After being released from the hospital in February, it's not until May that my father relents that I'm well enough to leave the house without an escort. Louise cheating then abandoning me, plus the subsequent five months without sex, have been tough mentally. So I decide to take that as my first opportunity to go back to the club and try to meet someone with similar kinks to fill my loneliness. I'm pretty sure I want a te...