‘You didn’t fucking hire her?!’ ‘Yes! Yes! I did!’ ‘Fuck me, Bobby! She’s fucking illiterate. You’ve hired a copywriter that can’t fucking write!’ ‘How would you fucking know, Johnny? You write like a bored schoolboy who’s rushing to finish the words bit so he can get on with drawing a picture. That’s why you’re the art supremo, Johnny, and I’m in charge of the copy.’ ‘At least I can fucking spell. At least I have a noddi...

Makennah took a sharp breath and sized up Jane’s appearance before replying. Jane herself looked like she’d just gotten done with a shower after sex, especially as she too, appeared to be a guest of The Sleepy Inn. “Who am I doing?” Makennah finally said, looking Jane up and down. “Who are you doing?” Jane looked to the side and cleared her throat. “Alright, looks like we have a standoff, then,” Jane said. “That’s right,”...

Makennah breezed into the kitchen wearing her red one-piece lifeguard swimsuit, with mirrored cop shades pushed up over her auburn hair, which was pulled back into a fierce ponytail. She wore her whistle on a lanyard and a pair of white USC basketball shorts over the bottom, along with a pair of thick filp-flops with multicolored soles. Yellow Zinka had already been applied to her nose and under her eyes. It was Saturday...

Allen waited until about 9 a.m., then heard the rumbling engine note from Makennah’s black Corvette as she left her mom’s gravel driveway and went up the street, headed off for her lifeguard duty at the country club pool. Allen’s cock stirred in his sweatpants. Time to fuck! he thought. He was going to tippy-toe over to Maria’s, let himself in the back door without knocking, maybe even surprise her with no pants on and hi...

Maria excused herself from the kitchen as if to go to the bathroom, as Makennah pored over the major league baseball box scores in that day's Springfield Sentinel. In the bathroom, Maria found Allen, gathering up his clothes, his naked pink/tanned ass sticking up as he rooted along the floor for his flip-flops. “Allen!” Maria said as emphatically but as quietly as she could. “You have to leave, now!” “What the fuck!” Alle...

Maria pulled her hair away from her shoulder blades as Allen soaped up her back with the shower kooshie. He scrubbed all along Maria’s back and her ticklish sides, to the top of her ass, as she sighed and giggled at his light touches. “Gonna get you squeaky clean, baby girl,” Allen murmured. As he bent over to scrub Maria down, his left thigh hit something. He turned around and saw an enormous suction cup dildo protruding...

Allen put down the phone and got a fluttery feeling through his stomach. He wasn’t sure what to expect. Maria had just called him to mysteriously say she had something for him. But she said it belonged to him. Maria was also the one who went to town on Lilly’s dome the day before, presumably in a fight that Allen caused by beating off on his roof, which everyone could see. Allen’s instinct was to accept yesterday’s stunni...

“Let’s” — pop — “be clear” — smack — “about something,” Hal said, eyes closed. Pop-pop. “We are not fucking,” Hal grunted, as he and Officer Sinclair fucked, doggy-style, filling room 319 of The Sleepy Inn with the sounds of squeaking mattress springs and urgent, illicit sex. It was 9 p.m. Hal had told his wife, Suzanne, he was speaking at the city council meeting that night. There was no city council meeting that night....

Jane was back in the police station, drawing attention, and not just because she was a stunning, leggy blonde whose outfit showcased her figure. She approached the desk sergeant, who looked like Norm from Cheers, except in uniform, and asked to see the blotter. Norm handed over a large black three-ring binder and resumed eating from a king-sized Almond Joy. The first page always listed actual arrests made for that month,...