“Well, Mrs. Claus,” said Santa as he sank wearily into his armchair, “It’s only the eighth of July and we’ve finished making all the toys for all the children in the world already. By my count, that’s a record. The elves have certainly excelled themselves this year!” “They certainly have, Santa,” exclaimed his wife, “And so, I think you’ll allow, have we.” “That’s true. I’ve never worked harder in all my years. My sack is...

Ugh, it’s after five on a Friday and, of course, I’m still at work. I swear I had the day all planned out so I would get all my work done, still have time to decorate for tomorrow’s holiday party, be out the door by five. It’s not like I have plans tonight, but I wanted to start my personal party prep tonight, so I wouldn’t be rushing tomorrow. Even though it’s a little out of my job description, I’m happy I volunteered t...

On the First Day of Christmas, My Best Friend’s Husband Gave to Me… ...a dick underneath the pantry. No, really. When I went to fetch the fine china for my lovely guests (my best friend of ten years Sarah and her husband Brandon) within the lazy susan underneath my top cabinet there it was standing tall and haughty and ornamented with a shiny party store pink ribbon--a long purple dragon dildo. Now, I’d joked on many an o...

Susy was not overly enthused when I accepted an invitation to an office Christmas Dinner Party in Canary Wharf. Over four hours in the evening we were to celebrate my company making yet another substantial profit, thereby almost doubling my capital. "Come on, my darling. We need to show a face. It might even be enjoyable." My fiery spouse pouted as we entered the Hyatt Regency Hotel where we were ushered into the Chartwel...

Most people spend Christmas with friends and family. This year, I'm not one of them. Before you misjudge me as one of those saddos, sitting in my underpants and T-shirt in a soulless flat nursing a pint and the TV remote searching for Die Hard movies, let me stop you. It's not because I don't love my family or want to see the kids’ faces light up when they open their presents. I adore that. I desperately want that back. M...

Olivia slipped on a silk red nightgown with furry, white trim that barely covered her shapely ass, fell seductively off her shoulders, and clung to her curves in all the right places. She donned a Santa hat with the word ‘NAUGHTY’ embroidered on the white plush brim, swiped her lips with bright red lipstick, and completed the slutty look with five-inch clear ‘come fuck me’ shoes. Tonight was the Hot Wife Hotel’s Christmas...

Lynn and I have always thrown a company Christmas party, even though we are the only two people that work at the company. We share a small group of friends, and we just hang out, get stoned, and play some iteration of Cards Against Humanity. It’s a lot of laughs, but each year it gets a bit raunchier. Lynn is not only my business partner, but she is also my best friend and sometimes my accessory to mischief. She had recen...

It was nearing the end of my workday when my cell phone buzzed. I was puzzled by the display. Meet me under the mistletoe at six. Unknown caller. I rolled my eyes—some idiot with a wrong number, most likely. Sitting in my office, I looked out the window at the dreaded snow. Sure, it was pretty, but since my ex took off with my best friend, shoveling all that white crap has become my responsibility. My eyes stung a little...

I was about twenty-five when I had just started my current job. A couple of months before I joined the company an intern had started a year long work placement for the company. Kelly was given the job of showing me around the building and making sure I was settled in ok. After a week or so I was into the swing of things and didn't really see much of Kelly, except on lunch breaks or in the car park in the morning. Kelly ar...